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20 Marriage Tips Everyone Needs to Know

Monday, September 02, 2013

We learn all sorts of things on Facebook. Here is a well written article posted there.


20 Marriage Tips Everyone Needs to Know

August 26, 2013 In the News

Below are 20 wise marriage tips from a man that was recently divorced. You wouldnít normally think that a divorced man would give good advice on being a husband, but this man has been through enough hardship to know what is worth fighting for:

MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:

Obviously, Iím not a relationship expert. But thereís something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done differentÖ After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, hereís the advice I wish I would have hadÖ

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. Youíre not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESNíT HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you donít take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you canít help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) ITíS NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HERÖ your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether itís what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: Itís not your wifeís job to make you happy, and she CANíT make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal themÖ when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

Allow your woman to JUST BE. When sheís sad or upset, itís not your job to fix it, itís your job to HOLD HER and let her know itís ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that sheís important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to youÖ DONíT RUN-AWAY WHEN SHEíS UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you arenít going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLYÖ donít take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAYÖ learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DONíT BE AN IDIOTÖ. And donít be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. Youíre not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACEÖ The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to singÖ. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLEÖ you donít have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHINGÖ Especially those things you donít want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you donít know i she will like what she findsÖ Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASKÖ If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHERÖ The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DONíT WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Donít let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isnít about Happily ever after. Itís about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him ĎI doí, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isnít what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife canít help but brag about.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNYWBL 9/18/2013 12:59AM

    "Be the type of husband your wife canít help but brag about. "

That says it all! emoticon

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CELEST 9/3/2013 8:51AM

    The world would certainly be a better place if both husband and wife applied this. It is WOW indeed.

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CINA-MINI 9/3/2013 3:35AM

    All I can say is, "WOW!"

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MERRYMARY42 9/2/2013 9:01PM

    great advise but it goes both ways, I have been married 52 years now, and some of them are so true, but way off base on most of them, emoticon but maybe, I am just not romantic

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GENRE009 9/2/2013 7:50PM

    This kind of wisdom isn't found in most men, let alone any women either. Great insight.

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MEMKEEPR 9/2/2013 7:41PM

    emoticon

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ONLYTEMPORARY 9/2/2013 7:31PM

    Great tips!

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One thing leads to another

Friday, August 23, 2013

Do you ever get involved in projects you hadn't intended to start? I do it all the time. Here is an example. The other day, for reasons I don't recall, I decided to scrub just a portion of the porch floor. Our neighbor's dog camps out over here a lot. He smells awful..and recently, they gave him a bath in oil of some sort, most of which ended up on my porch floor. So, I impetuously decided to scrub just a section of the floor....and it looks so pretty when it is wet:

Then I decided that the wood door (200 yr old door original to the house..but not that doorway) needed cleaning/oiling. So, I launched into that!


this was one of those jobs that by half way, I wished I hadn't started it. BUT, it came out looking very nice.


I find that often my intentions don't match up with what I actually do. This is the case when planning dinner, planning to eat properly, tackling exercise..all sorts of things. The thing I can use this little project to illustrate, though, is that by breaking the job into smaller units...and keeping at it, I CAN get the job done AND be really pleased with the end result. That applies to weight loss and fitness very well. We can't get fit or slender overnight...but by taking things one bit at a time, WE CAN get the desired results..and be proud of the accomplishment.

Carry on!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNYWBL 8/27/2013 1:11AM

    I have spells like this myself! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CELEST 8/24/2013 9:36AM

    I do periodically start just one thing and end up spring cleaning lol I get mad at myself half way through and then delighted when its all done. I especially get into frantic clean mode when someone makes me mad/sad and all I want to do is confront them and make myself feel better. Since I'm not a confrontational person, I end up in scrubbing mode. Must say, that door came out looking fantastic.

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ONLYTEMPORARY 8/24/2013 2:10AM

    Good job, I do the same thing at times.

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GAMOMMY3 8/24/2013 12:46AM

    emoticon

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3 yr old gives 1st public Bible reading.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

How can I not be SO proud of my youngest grandson...at 3 yrs 11 months, he finally reached HIS goal of doing a Bible reading from the stage. He practiced for weeks. His Daddy had to build the taller step for him so he could be high enough to reach the podium and see what he was reading.

Here is Andrew: (first try didn't work. Trying again.) www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqyWsFoWvXc

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEADFASTNSEE 8/28/2013 6:27PM

  Asta I just had to leave a comment on the YouTube site for Andrew. He did such a marvelous job. WONDERFUL! HUGS Laurie

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CINA-MINI 8/23/2013 1:23AM

    Andrew did SUCH A GREAT JOB!!!! Congratulations to your entire family! He is so adorable!

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KIMS_SHNOOKY 8/19/2013 10:22AM

    Asta, we have recently had some young ones begin with their first readings, but not this young! It brought great joy and tears to my eyes! The best part was knowing without a doubt, that Andrew had great satisfaction from doing it, knowing that he was pleasing not onlyto his family and friends at the Hall, but our Great God Jehovah himself.
emoticon applause, applause, applause!!!

Comment edited on: 8/19/2013 10:23:42 AM

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LYN-EDWY 8/17/2013 1:00PM

    What a precious gift from Jehovah your Andrew is.
He did such a fine job...no wonder your hearts are so full.
emoticon

Well done Andrew!


emoticon

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GAMOMMY3 8/16/2013 10:21AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BOOKWERME 8/16/2013 7:42AM

    Actually, my daughter, Andrew's aunt, took this video and posted that comment about the bursting heart...pretty exciting for the whole family though. He did a practice run when they set up before the meeting..the mic was on and he decided on his own to give the whole talk. He has it all memorized after so much practice. As folks came in, they just sat down and listened...even with the music softly playing.

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CELEST 8/16/2013 2:52AM

    So beautiful to see someone so young walking in the truth. I can fully understand your bursting heart. I would have cried a little on the night.

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ONLYTEMPORARY 8/16/2013 1:25AM

    Awesome!

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DIANE7786 8/15/2013 6:20PM

    What a wonderful reading! He's adorable.

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KATCHATTEAM 8/15/2013 6:11PM

    ITS AMAZING TO SEE A 3 year old read the bible
as a christian its a Joy . so he chose Romans 6:21 any reason why ??
God bless emoticon

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GOLFGMA 8/15/2013 5:37PM

    Great job! He is such a joy! emoticon

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THINAGIN2 8/15/2013 5:22PM

    That is pretty
emoticon !

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Update on Cell phone pics blog

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

I wondered how old that info is...and I guessed right that it was not a new article. This link explains some of the hoopla surrounding this info..it is accurate info up to a point...but not quite as invasive as it is presented to be. I did try to check it out but found no warnings. This was shared on FB today. www.hoax-slayer.com/cell-phone-pictu
res-privacy-risk-warning.shtml#.UgsTTk
VIIG8.facebook

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PICTUREME40 8/15/2013 9:36AM

    This is mind boggling how unsafe this world has become.

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BOOKWERME 8/14/2013 11:38PM

    More on this topic: http://www.snopes.com/crime/warning
s/smartphonepix.asp

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GAMOMMY3 8/14/2013 8:16PM

    I still think it was a good warning. thanks!

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ONLYTEMPORARY 8/14/2013 7:29PM

    It's interesting that they are saying it isn't as much a concern. I watched it on the Portland News within the last 2 years and the police were discussing it. People use their phones all the time for finding their kids, stolen phones and cars, geocashing and other things.

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TATTER3 8/14/2013 8:33AM

    LOL...the clinic is quiet about it today.

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EVIE4NOW 8/14/2013 8:05AM

  Thanks for the info.

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SNS1968 8/14/2013 8:02AM

    What?? The media is blowing something out of proportion???

Unheard of!!!

emoticon

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BOOKWERME 8/14/2013 8:01AM

    Of course, on this morning's news is a story about a video baby monitor being hacked! Creepy...

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"Dance Yourself Happy"

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

I loved this! DH and I took ballroom dance lessons for most of two yrs...it was so much fun. Work interfered and we rarely dance now..and I MISS it so much!

www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201
008/mind-your-body-dance-yourself-happy


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

This was us: emoticon I have to add, it tones muscles and is great exercise,

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAMOMMY3 8/14/2013 8:13PM

    I would love to take dance lessons with my DH! So much fun!! I haven't been able to find anything close by so just keep hoping.

BTW, since I hadn't been on SP for a while I missed your anniversary greetings from last month. Thanks so much for thinking of us. Yes, it is 24 years.
Hugs!

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ONLYTEMPORARY 8/14/2013 7:23PM

    emoticon

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PICTUREME40 8/14/2013 4:50PM

    How Cool! Wished DH would be game for something like that. emoticon

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BOOKWERME 8/14/2013 8:36AM

    So wish I had learned years ago! Well worth the investment in time and $$

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TATTER3 8/14/2013 8:32AM

    Oh...some day...I will dance!

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