BOOKWERME   172,358
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Oh Really? (humor from real life!)

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

I borrowed this from a friends post on FB...but it has come around via email, too.

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the
teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener,
and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

( But the lady behind me had a big smirk on her face as I left)

THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(Keep shuddering!!)

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I
took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency right away'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're Stupid!!!!
Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.
Don't laugh....it is all true...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TATTER3 4/18/2013 4:47PM

    Too funny!!! Keep Sparkin'!!

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MOMOSG 4/18/2013 10:42AM

    LOL - I hope I never find myself being described in one of these stories. That will be a sad day indeed. The best part is, even if it did happen, I probably would be completely unaware. emoticon

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ONLYTEMPORARY 4/18/2013 1:25AM

    Oh my word. emoticon

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ALMYEARTHLYBEST 4/17/2013 10:34PM

    emoticon

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CELEST 4/17/2013 12:27PM

    One can't help but laugh....but it is sad. Mind you they are blissfully unaware. emoticon

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JACKIE542 4/17/2013 11:04AM

    Amazing stories. emoticon

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NOTSOFLUFFYDAD 4/17/2013 10:30AM

    All I can say is wow.

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CHANGINGEMMY 4/17/2013 10:11AM

    emoticon

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JUSTLYLE 4/17/2013 8:51AM

    Thanks for sharing, we qll need a laugh about now.

Skeeter emoticon

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POSITIVEPAULA8 4/17/2013 8:19AM

    Thanks for sharing! emoticon emoticon

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Walk? No left turns?

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Here's another of the emails that come my way. I enjoyed it...perhaps you will, too.


A Charming Piece



This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and
small, and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for
editorial writing. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are
guaranteed.

My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I
never saw him drive a car.

He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove
was a 1926 Whippet.

"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a
car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive
through life and miss it."

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in:
"Oh, *******!" she said. "He hit a horse."

"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all
had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the
VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors
down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines , would take the streetcar to work
and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my
mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop,
meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes,
at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none.
"No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that.

But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns
16, we'll get one." It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn
16 first.

But, sure enough, my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents
bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a
Chevy dealership downtown.

It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with
everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my
brother's car.

Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it
didn't make sense to my mother.

So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to
drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive
the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to
practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. "Who can
your mother hurt in the cemetery?" I remember him saying more than once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in
the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he
loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and
appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic,
and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem
to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage.

(Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or
so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustine's Church. She would
walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he
saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was
the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my
mother at the end of the service and walking her home.

If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head
back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and
"Father Slow."

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she
drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to
the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if
it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the
Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd
explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad
throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third
base scored."

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags
out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always
the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he
said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"

"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.

"No left turns," he said.

"What?" I asked.

"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother
and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.

As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth
perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left
turn."

"What?" I said again.

"No left turns," he said. "Think about it. Three rights are the
same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."

"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support.
"No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works."But then
she added: "Except when your father loses count."

I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started
laughing.

"Loses count?" I asked.

"Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes
happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're
okay again."

I couldn't resist "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.

"No," he said " If we miss it at seven, we just come home and
call it a bad day.. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another
day or another week."

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car
keys and said she had decided to quit driving.. That was in 1999, when she
was 90.

She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102.


They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few
years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to
have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My
father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly
three times what he paid for the house.)

He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101
because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep
exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he
died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to
give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that
he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about
politics and newspapers and things in the news.
A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first
hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much
longer."

"You're probably right," I said.

"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.

"Because you're 102 years old," I said.

"Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all
the next day.

That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him
through the night.

He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look
gloomy, he said:

"I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead
yet."

An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:

"I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am
in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have."

A short time later, he died.

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then
how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.

I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life, or because he
quit taking left turns.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you
right. Forget about those who don't. Believe everything happens for a
reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be
worth it."



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNNYWBL 4/27/2013 11:37PM

    What a great story and a great couple!

Thank You!

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ONLYTEMPORARY 4/16/2013 1:43AM

    emoticon

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BLAYNESGAMMY 4/15/2013 11:01AM

    emoticon

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1HAPPYSPIRIT 4/15/2013 9:21AM

    Wonderful! I enjoyed reading it!

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TATTER3 4/15/2013 9:20AM

    Everytime I've read this I've teared up. What a great story!

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CELEST 4/15/2013 1:07AM

    What a fabulous story. And what a father....he must have been a character and a delight to live with.

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ALMYEARTHLYBEST 4/14/2013 11:48PM

    There's wisdom in this blog!

Nearly every accident one of my family members has been involved in was connected to someone making a left turn!!! There's been a lot, spanning 3 generations... 10 maybe and only 2 weren't with a left turn - they were head-on with someone passing another.

Thanks for posting this!

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DLDMIL 4/14/2013 11:13PM

    Thank you for sharing this great story.

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POSITIVEPAULA8 4/14/2013 11:11PM

    Wow such a lovely story! Thank you for sharing it!

Take Care,

Paula emoticon

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JACKIE542 4/14/2013 9:52PM

    Beautiful story, thank you. emoticon

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DMORELLI1031 4/14/2013 9:42PM

    all I can say is wow, what a wonderful story thank you for telling it

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coffee and alcohol

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

I am not a coffee drinker...but my husband is. I am not an alcohol drinker but my husband loves his beer.

I tend to save clippings that interest me...and this morning just ran across one that I think came from that magazine part of the Sunday papers. I have know idea when it was printed. [googled: July 5, 2005]

"EatSmart Jean Carper
Coffee can protect, too
Drinking coffee to sober up is an old wive's tale, but science says coffee may lessen liver damage from, among other things, too much alcohol. New Japanese research shows that drinkers of one or two cups of coffee a day are 30% less apt than non-coffee drinkers to have liver cancer. an new National Institues of Health study finds that Americans at high risk of liver damage who drank more than two cups a day showed half as much liver damage as non-coffee drinkers. People in the study drank excess alcohol, had viral hepatitis or iron overload, or were overweight.
Researchers credit caffeine and antioxidants in the coffee."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALMYEARTHLYBEST 4/12/2013 10:30AM

    Things that make ya go "hmmm..." emoticon

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LYN-EDWY 4/11/2013 10:21PM

    I neither like or drink either. Mmmmm, I wonder how my liver is?
emoticon
emoticon
emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/11/2013 10:21:49 PM

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MNNICE 4/11/2013 9:38PM

    I'm not much of an alcohol drinker, but I do love my coffee and I'm afraid I indulge in too much of a good thing to make it a good thing!

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TATTER3 4/11/2013 3:37PM

    I don't drink ETOH...but the coffee thing is a biter!!!

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GAILRUU 4/11/2013 10:25AM

    I rarely drink but I am very happy to see that all that coffee I drink is good for me!

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ONLYTEMPORARY 4/10/2013 11:54PM

    Trouble is, it can aggravate heart issues with palpitations

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POSITIVEPAULA8 4/10/2013 4:04PM

    emoticon for sharing this article! It is interesting I did not know this! I try to only drink 1 cup of coffee a day at the most sometimes none.

I might once a month have one glass of wine if out at dinner or we have visitors over for dinner or whatever but not always.

I prefer my Green and Ginseng Tea's.

Have an awesome day and thanks again for sharing it.

Paula emoticon

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CHANGINGEMMY 4/10/2013 3:28PM

    Interesting!! I do love my coffee I limit it to no more than 2 cups a day though usually its just one.

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CELEST 4/10/2013 10:57AM

    I'm a coffee lover but then also generally 2 cups a day with the odd 3rd one on occasions. Rarely drink...also a handful of times a year and when I do, I'm strictly a 1 glass woman. Very interesting info.

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KIMS_SHNOOKY 4/10/2013 10:30AM

    Never drank coffee til I worked the night shift. Caffeine doesn't affect me much unless it's too much, then I get a nervous stomach. I only drink alcohol less than a handful of times per year.

Guess that would make me a prime liver donor candidate!
I now love coffee as much as chocolate! emoticon

emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/10/2013 10:30:49 AM

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NOTSOFLUFFYDAD 4/10/2013 10:19AM

    very interesting

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Email on Thankfulness

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Another email to share. Wish the pics attached had come with the copy/paste.


I AM THANKFUL: FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.


FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.


FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.


FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED.



FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.


FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.



FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE



FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.


FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.


FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.


FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.


FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.



FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.



FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.



FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.


AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MANY E-MAILS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEDYBEAR2838 4/12/2013 10:02PM

    that really was Great!

THANK YOU!

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TATTER3 4/10/2013 6:58AM

    This is the best blog ever!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CELEST 4/10/2013 1:45AM

    emoticon

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POSITIVEPAULA8 4/10/2013 12:10AM

    This is great Have seen it before. But it is always a great reminder! Thanks for sharing it! emoticon

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ONLYTEMPORARY 4/9/2013 8:34PM

    I have this too as a reminder emoticon

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MNABOY 4/9/2013 8:27PM

    Blessings come in funny wrappings!

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Sparking together!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

It is such fun to meet other Spark Friends in person! Today I got to meet ChangingEmmy!


Photo taken by my husband who is not a picture taker nor is he familiar with this camera. I should also add that I am standing one step up from Emmy.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POSITIVEPAULA8 3/26/2013 2:30AM

    That is great to when you can meet fellow sparkers in person! Your husband did a great job with the photo! emoticon

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STEADFASTNSEE 3/24/2013 11:57PM

  emoticon

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BLAYNESGAMMY 3/24/2013 9:38PM

    emoticon

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ALMYEARTHLYBEST 3/24/2013 9:26PM

    You both look wonderful!
How cool to meet online friends in person! emoticon

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COOLCALLALILY 3/24/2013 8:05PM

    How nice! You look great, Mom!

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MOMOSG 3/24/2013 7:19PM

    That is so nice!

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CELEST 3/24/2013 6:45AM

    That is delightful.....wish there were more sparkers in my part of the world. The closest live 4hrs away which makes seeing each other almost impossible unless we have cause to go to the next city.....ah well glad you got to meet another one.

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NOTSOFLUFFYDAD 3/23/2013 11:51PM

    Won't it be wonderful when we can all meet in person!

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ONLYTEMPORARY 3/23/2013 11:17PM

    Awesome! So glad you got to meet and have a spiritual feast. emoticon

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HEIDISUE1 3/23/2013 10:19PM

    It's nice to see an up to date picture of you both! Hope you enjoyed your SAD--we're going to make up ours by going to Johnson City Apr. 14.

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CHARDY0125 3/23/2013 10:09PM

    emoticon

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