BOOKAPHILE   59,573
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Disappointed

Saturday, February 06, 2010

I had expected to post a very different blog entry today. One pound down from last week would have reached my first goal. This is the first week since the middle of November, when I joined Sparkpeople, that I have not lost anything. It's worse that I saw the goal weight on my scale on Tuesday.

I was feeling a bit weak and hungry mid-week, (unusual for me) so I changed the settings on my fitness tracker to reflect what I actually am doing for exercise rather than just the easier "goal" I had set. It didn't kick my calories up that much, about 50 calories, and I'm usually near the bottom of that range anyway. Some of the extra things I ate were salty. I wonder if I'm retaining water.

Sigh. It seems that I am motivated by seeing results. Not seeing results leaves me sad and wanting to sit in a corner and read. I still did my workout today, but it wasn't really joyful and there wasn't the usualy bounce in my step. I've changed my fitness tracker settings back to the easier "goal" I had before. Maybe I'm one of those people who do really well in a famine but find it hard to lose weight on "normal people" calories.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'll get over it and keep on with the program. Right now I want a hug from my Mom. (good thing I'll be seeing her tomorrow!)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GILDEDCROW 2/11/2010 7:08AM

    I weigh myself everyday. It is a compulsion since I USED to be anorexic. I know that weight varies throughout the day. I never gain or lose at a steady pace. Usually it will show up as 1-3 pounds at a time on the way down, but slowly. I can eat all through the holidays, and no change on the scale until January 3rd, then ZAP, 5 extra pounds. You will continue down. Your body is just adjusting. You will do it! emoticon

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HAPPYCRICKET 2/6/2010 9:21PM

    Water retention is a likely culprit, since we females have all those tricky hormones...I read that you can "gain" several pounds overnight, just from hormones! Sometimes I think to myself "It is impossible for this to be real weight, because a pound is 3500 calories and I KNOW I didn't consume 3500 extra calories." There are so many ways to mesure success other than a number on your scale--you are exercising, eating mindfully, and hanging in there--you are a success no matter what the scale says! emoticon
Here is a hug to tide you over til you see your mom!
Christine

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WATERMELLEN 2/6/2010 4:44PM

    Betcha anything it's water retention with salt and you'll see the number you want very very soon.

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LIZBUCK1 2/6/2010 3:40PM

    Don't let this sabotage all your good work. I know it is sad when you have actually seen that loss previously but on "weigh-in day" it mysteriously creeps back up! Hopefully it'll show up by a good loss next week and you'll be at your first goal.
Don't give up
emoticon

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LOVEAGOODBOOK 2/6/2010 3:05PM

    Despite not seeing the results this week you still have a great attitude. Speed bumps just slow you down, not stop you. Have a great new week. emoticon

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A triumph and an Ah Ha moment

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Yesterday I had calories left to use and a desire for some chocolate, so I decided to eat 4 Hershey's Kisses (22 calories each).

I unwrapped one and was totally focused on the taste and texture. I let it melt rather than chewing it. It was soooo good. Then I had the second one. Also enjoyed very much.

Then an amazing thing happened - I didn't feel like I needed the other two! That's never happened to me before. I put them on the table so I could eat them later if I wanted them, since I had already put their calorie count in my tracker. I NEVER felt the need to eat them.

I put them away when I went to bed with the thought "They'll be there another time if I want them. I don't have to choose now or never."

Ah Ha! I've been eating candy for years as though I was competing with others in the house for my fair share. So what if they eat all the rest? There is a grocery store which stocks them, and I can buy more if necessary. It's rather freeing to only eat what I really WANT and be able to let the rest go to an uncertain future. It's funny to realize my body "talks" to me like this. I don't think I've spent much time listening before. I am now.

  


Insight into my eating

Friday, January 01, 2010

I joined SparkPeople in mid-November. Due to tracking my nutrition (especially portions!) and fitness, I've lost 10 pounds as of yesterday. Yay! I want to thank the Spark Team "50+ members with 10-24 pounds to lose" for the December challenge motivation to get through the holiday food season. I think I'd have been inclined to let a few more calories settle in without the constant awareness that I'd be posting the daily differential in the forum there.

As far back as I can remember, hunger has not been why I want to eat. If I'm distracted, I can go for hours past a regular mealtime and not miss it. If I've just finished a meal, I can still want to eat many more things.

It has been very interesting to become aware that my "EAT" prompts are really more "CHEW AND SWALLOW" prompts - NOT particularly when I'm hungry.
This insight has given me new motivation to chew everything I DO eat very thoroughly - to taste and to satisfy the chewing and swallowing desire. (gum just doesn't do it for me. There's no substance to the swallowing!)

I've lost and gained the same 20-30 pounds over and over since high school. I seriously want this to be the last time having to lose fat and gain muscle! I want to change the way I think, not just my actions for a period of time, so that I won't go back to the same eating patterns that got me in this shape in the first, second, third, etc.... place.

I think the challenge for me will be in the transition from losing to maintaining the weight and fitness level I want. I have some time to get ready for that. I'm so glad I found Spark People! Thanks, ALLFORONE2009, for giving me the link!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLARCO 1/1/2010 4:15PM

  Good Luck! Happy New Years!

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