Monday, November 25, 2013
First of all – anyone else really surprised to find that it is Thanksgiving (AND Hannukah?!) this week?!?!?!
I’m VERY tempted to throw in the towel this week and do my own thing. Two holidays, two days off, a baking contest at work, etc… UGH. I’m working on convincing myself to behave instead.
The past couple days have been a rollercoaster. Our best friends came in town and we hadn’t seen them in 6 months. But to back up…
Thursday night my bf and I went to the symphony. We got the tickets for free so we decided to have dinner out before the show. I only had like 2 drinks but ended up feeling it way too much. The show was awesome though!
Friday I was working from home, thank goodness, because I had a terrible headache and upset stomach all day. I have had hangovers but this was worse. I ended up in bed by 730…
Saturday we did a ton of bridal stuff (my friend said yes to the dress!) and had a big dinner/hangout with our friends. We went to a restaurant in the city and saw a few snowflakes! I was “bad” and got a burger and fries (I hadn’t been to this place since May ’12 and they are known for these burgers…) and ended up only eating half whereas last time I inhaled the whole thing. Is that progress?
Yesterday we chilled and I dropped one of my friends back at the airport. I shed a tear, it hurt to see her go. I miss her! The Ravens won, I ran errands, and my bf hosted poker night. I made homemade kale chips with garlic, paprika and chili powder. I brought them to work today to snack on.
I originally wanted to come on here to whine, but I decided I’ll lay everything out like this – BAD, GOOD, THANKFUL.
- I’ve had a headache since Thursday. It might be time to call the doc again. At first I thought I was getting a cold or fighting one off, but now I’m just really tired of feeling like this.
- This headache has kept me from doing much exercise besides the squats challenge which is now over because…
- I had to quit the squats challenge. Maybe my form is off, or maybe I do them too fast, but yesterday I felt something pop below my kneecap so I stopped. Last night I woke up with my knee twitching! What did I do?!?!?!
- It was good to see my friends but them leaving has made me very sad. My bf and I are also spending Thanksgiving apart for the first time in years. More sadness.
- I spent over an hour commuting to work this morning only to discover I left my computer at home. I am awesome. Not.
- This week is thanksgivikkuh! I get latkes and turkey! Woo hoo!
- I bought xmas lights and some decorations. It is going to get pinterest crafty for the holidays around my house!
- I’m secretly excited for it to rain tomorrow so that I can wear my new rain boots!
- I haven’t picked my cuticles in one whole week!!!!!!!!!!!!! This may not seem like much to others but this is a HUGE streak for me!!!!!!
- For my one coworker who is making all of the difference for me right now. She caught me before I melted down this morning when I realized I forgot my laptop. She is very understanding and helpful.
- For my ability to buy fresh kale, spend time baking it, and having fresh kale chips today. That is a luxury others can’t afford.
- For spark, for letting me type ridiculous blogs like this!
Trying to make it a good short week and at least not beat myself up for whatever happens Thursday. It is Thanksgiving, we’re supposed to be thankful not guilty!
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
This article brought tears to my eyes at my desk:
Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating or I’m weak because I prefer at home videos to the gym. I can do whatever without worrying about anyone around me, and I often find that I push myself harder. This woman didn’t fad diet, she didn’t hire an expensive personal trainer, and she used good old fashioned work to get herself to a better place. Her transformation has inspired me today!
About myself now… I apologize for the negativity yesterday. My mood was definitely off. I am trying to tell myself to nut up or shut up.
I’ve always hesitated signing up for “Challenges” because I hold myself to a nasty degree of success/failure black and white business. Back when I had more frequent migraines, going a month without skipping a workout was impossible and I’d beat myself up for it. I was browsing the fitness section of Pinterest recently and I found this pin:
I did Day 1 yesterday and Day 2 as soon as I woke up this morning. Yes, this is something I can do while getting ready in the morning before my day gets too crazy and away from me! So I’m giving it a try. And maybe my booty will be better at the end of it?
I also went to the gym at lunch today and blocked my calendar for the rest of the week to do it again and again. I realized I let that drop off when I got moved to my new team. My boss always wants to know where I am and some other stuff up in my business. She made a comment about me going to work out, as I expected, and I’m trying not to let it bother me. I can’t let the “peer pressure” or that sort of annoyance hold me back from doing something good for myself. I’m entitled to my lunch hour and if I use that to get a little sweaty, so be it. My choice. Today I chose 25 minutes on the treadmill followed by arms ST. (side note my new UA sports bra is awesomeeeee) While I was doing arms, I looked in the mirror and tried to envision myself in the bridesmaids dress I will wear on May 3 and how I want to look in it. It helped keep me going!
Anyways, hope this makes up a bit for yesterday. I’m feeling better and hoping I can keep this momentum going. Afraid to say that almost, seems like I always shoot myself in the foot when I do, but I get knocked down, I get up again, you ain’t ever gonna keep me down (yes, that was a chumbawumba moment)
Monday, November 18, 2013
Warning: I have a serious ‘tude problem case of the Mondays today.
Oh look, another blog about how much I suck at this spark thing…
I started last week off on fire. I was ready to go. I actually managed to keep most of my eating under control all week even though everything else fell apart. I did workouts on Monday and Tuesday and that was it. I did have some week day alcohol.
Tuesday was such a messed up day at my job. I can’t even verbalize how messed up it was, but I’ve never worked for a place that has so many personality problems and management issues. I had managed to steer clear for almost a year because my old boss was awesome but my new team is just… wow. Now I know why she left. I actually put on my coat and walked out of here on Tuesday because I was getting so worked up. I kept edging my “stress tracker” on my start page up higher as the day went on. It got so bad that I gave myself a migraine for Weds & Thurs, only to feel a bit better just in time for Friday to be a smaller repeat of Tuesday. By the time I left here on Friday, I was exhausted. I have PTSD from last week so badly that this morning I sat in my car in the parking lot here for almost 15 minutes before I went inside. I had to build myself up.
On top of all of that, I’m having some family problems and I’m starting to realize that I can’t fix everyone or everything. I have to cut some of that off because I’m likely to try to take responsibility on myself and I have to stop playing the adult for my parents (cue the guilt though…)
I also need to stop pressuring myself for some things that are out of my control. Last week, my bf and I finally decided it was time for a pet – a cat. I had always planned to graduate college and to get myself a dog, but things haven’t worked out that way. I figured a cat would be a nice compromise and would make me feel like I partly achieved my goal. We emailed our landlord who suddenly developed a “no pet policy” that we weren’t aware of in the least. I feel like my dreams have been crushed. I know it is just a cat, I shouldn’t be stupid, but it meant a lot to me.
So no, I haven’t exercised. I haven’t done much to help myself at all. And here I am, talking about it, again. I just feel very low today so pardon my weakness.
I'm also soooo tired of seemingly "going through the motions" here and still failing. That scale hasn't moved in months and it is nobody's fault but my own. I'm not strong enough to reach my goals. I can't even adopt a freaking cat.
On another note - We finally used my BF’s discount and I loaded up at UA this weekend though. I have no excuses, I have all my gear restocked.
It is really nice outside today, so I think I will have to take a walk. It might be good to get some time alone with my thoughts outside and away from this circus. I think I need to schedule time on my actual calendar for workouts this week, block it out. I have healthy food ready to go. Bless Rold Gold, found some new gluten free buffalo wing pretzels that I’m excited about. We bought a bunch of fresh (EXPENSIVE) fruit and almond milk to make smoothies with this week. I have a new cooking light recipe on the books for tonight. I’m sitting here staring at my motivation collage and I’m trying to build myself up again. We’re hosting friends from out of town all weekend and I know “bad things” will happen, so I know I have to keep it together this week. Give me strength………
Monday, November 11, 2013
It is Monday again. Go figure. Always comes around too soon, doesn’t it?
My weekend update:
Friday BF and I went out for a nice dinner. We had grilled octopus for an appetizer (try tracking THAT on the nutrition tracker) and steamed snow crabs. We got a little bit of frozen yogurt afterwards. I think compared to our usual Friday nights (beers, fried things, etc…) we did much better!
Between Saturday & Sunday, we spent approximately 13 hours in the car. It is normally 5 hours from our house to Pittsburgh and we ran into traffic. The church was also 35 mins from the reception venue for the wedding so – tack on another hour. I normally eat a bunch of snacks on the ride, but we didn’t really stop off and I stuck to water. The wedding was very nice with the exception of a lack of food – yikes! So I surprisingly didn’t eat that much! And did a TON of dancing, my fitbit record looks great for Saturday night. I even took time to get on my phone and write out meal plans for this week so we could stop and grocery shop on our way home. We ended up getting in fairly late so Monday really did come back around for me wayyyy too quickly. I HATE having laundry and cleaning left over to do after a weekend!
I hung that “motivation collage” in front of my face at my desk and it is already serving me well today. I’m feeling very stressed, a lot is going on at work, and that always makes me want to eat. I peeked up and saw my collage this morning and decided to stay put at my desk instead of going to my coworkers snack drawer. It even lit a little “go home and exercise it out” fire!
When I was growing up, my uncle had a punching bag in the basement. I always thought it was weird. I remember him telling me I’d understand when I was older. Now I do! I just sent my bf a link to one on Amazon… it might be beneficial for us to install one in our own basement. Gets out frustration AND gives you a workout?!
Anyways – I have healthy food on hand and time in my schedule for at least a half hour of activity each night this week. I’m going to give myself Friday off unless I can squeeze in a walk at work. I’m feeling optimistic that I can make it happen. If I can keep these little motivation fires going, maybe they will combine into something bright and beautiful?!
I really want to see that scale go down again. November is already almost halfway over and I have to make this time count! Here’s to the week ahead!
Thursday, November 07, 2013
If someone says to you that your outfit “compliments your shape” is that offensive or someone wording a compliment the wrong way? (Maybe it is just my twisted brain that thinks “Oh, you’re saying it hides my fat well?!”)
Quick Geeky Fitness Joke:
According to any BMI Chart, Wolverine is always obese.
(Something to keep in mind when that pesky BMI chart gets you down! Everyone knows Wolverine is totally badazzzzz)
And now for Updates:
- I have decided to cut gluten again. I’m not sure where I fell off the wagon on this one but I caught myself eating a sandwich on flat bread yesterday and I was like… hold up. Extra useless calories (minus the fiber I suppose?) I was reading some more on the affects of gluten on thyroid function yesterday and decided I need to help my body help itself. As I was reading down the “gluten sensitivity checker list” – I checked every single box of symptoms.
- The second half of things I’d like to cut back on is SOY. There is also some pretty convincing evidence that soy inhibits thyroid function. I know when I tried to go vegetarian last year and drastically increased my soy intake, I felt AWFUL.
- Both of these being said, I think I am going to shoot for the 80/20 elimination at first. Soy and Gluten can be snuck into a lot of foods and I’m afraid I’ll burn out or become dangerously paranoid if I try to cut it 100%. I need some flexibility for things like travel or special events. Gluten free beers are also not as prolific as I’d like, and I enjoy beer, so either I’m switching to white wine by force or being very sad at bar nights.
- I spent some time before bed on Pinterest last night hunting down workout videos. I started to try to frame this effort of getting back into exercise as a “trying new things” type deal. I want to keep trying new videos or exercises so that I don’t feel tied to a treadmill/burnout, and so I see it as a little challenge of sorts (I found some interesting videos last night – am I up for the challenge?!) and so I have some FUN.
- When I first started my Spark journey, I spent a lot of time agonizing over how unhealthy my parents are/were. A couple of months ago, my mom decided to get serious about her health again when the doctor warned her that she was prediabetic. She watched her mom, my nana, suffer from diabetes complications for years. She’s also turning 50 next year and started to freak out a bit about aging. She’s now gotten a group of ladies around her age together to start walking at night and she’s lost 42 lbs. Last night she was posting about her ladies walking group on fb and I realized… what’s my excuse?! She has the same commute that I do (in reverse) and she’s older. Somehow the tables have turned and now I’m the one realizing I need to get moving?!
Anyways, I’m still ridiculously sore from pilates the other night but most of that is centralized in my core area, so I think today’s workout will revolve around some sort of cardio (Just Dance? Zumba?) and arms work.
I think I am going to hang a note/pic in my cube of a gray bridesmaid dress and MAY 3 in my cube at work so I stare at it all day and remember my goal date. Heck, maybe I’ll make a whole board with a flexed bicep and all. I would really like to see the scale go down, but I’d also like to feel stronger again too.
I know I had mentioned how bad my weekend was last weekend and wanting to make an effort to fix that, but this weekend we’re driving five hours to Pittsburgh for my bf’s cousin’s wedding, staying overnight and driving five hours back on Sunday. I’m pretty sure that’s going to throw this weekend! But I gotta keep pushing forward (and dance a lot at this wedding to burn some calories!). ONWARDS!
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