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Missing Mom

Sunday, June 02, 2013



This morning I was having a really tough time, missing my mother so much. I woke up thinking about her today. Some days it's just so hard to believe that she is no longer here. I can't just pick up the phone and call her anymore. There are just some days where it really hits me so hard! I decided to go for a walk because sometimes that helps. As I was walking early this morning I could really feel Mom's spirit with me though. This pretty little robin kept appearing during my walk. It would hop along in the grass a short distance away as I was walking, only to fly off and then reappear to hop along with me again. It was almost as if Mom was saying....I'm not here in my earthly body any longer but my spirit is still with you and you will see me and feel me if you look carefully with your heart.

After my walk, I was looking through my mom's Bible. It is such a treasure full of all these beautiful glimpses into my mom's heart! It is filled with personal notes from Mom, Bible verses that were special to her, prayer lists, cards, devotional tracts, etc. The first thing that caught my attention today was this little paper called "This Thing Is From Me..." by Laura A. Barter Snow.

This part really spoke to me personally....Are you passing through a night of sorrow? This thing is from Me. I am the "Man of Sorrows, and acquainted with grief." I have let earthly comforters fail you, that, by turning to Me, you may obtain everlasting consolation (II Thessalonians 2:16,17).

I'm so grateful that God picked the perfect mother for me. Mom was my rock and sometimes I feel so lost without her now. She was always the person I turned to when I needed comfort or encouragement and I was given such a gift to have this special lady in my life. But the message I received today was that I need to let God be my comforter. I need to turn my eyes to Him and trust and depend on Him instead of on Mom.

Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD himself, is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26:4

This Thing Is from Me by Laura A. Barter Snow

My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory any storm clouds which may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which you may have to tread. It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your innermost soul; use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head: “This thing is from Me.”

Have you ever thought of it, that all that concerns you concerns Me too? “For whoever touches you touches the apple of Mine eye.” (Zechariah 2:8). And “You are very precious in My sight” (Isaiah 43:4).

I would have you learn when temptations assail you and the enemy comes in like a flood that “This things is from Me,” that your weakness needs My might, and your safety lies in letting Me fight for you.

Are you in difficult circumstances, surrounded by people who do not understand you? Who never consult your taste? Who put you in the background? “This things is from Me.” I am the God of circumstances. You did not come to this place by accident; it is the very place God meant fr you. Have you not asked to be made humble? See then, I have placed you in the very school where this lesson is taught. Your surroundings and companions are only working out My will.

Are you in money difficulties? Is it hard to make both ends meet? “This thing is from Me,” for I am your provider and would have you draw from and depend upon Me. “My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19). I would have you prove My promises.

Are you passing through a night of sorrow? This thing is from Me.” Am the the “Man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief.” I have let earthly comforters fail you. Turn to Me so that you may receive everlasting consolation.

Has some friend disappointed you? One to whom you opned your heart? “This thing is from Me.” I have allowed this disappointment to come that you may learn that I am your best friend. I want to be the One you confide in.

Has someone repeated things about you that are note true? “This thing is from Me.” Leave them to Me and draw closer to Me. “The salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord; He is their stronghold in time of trouble” (Psalm 37:39).

Have your plans been upset? “This thing is from Me.” You made your plans and then asked Me to bless them; but I would have you let Me plan for you. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Have you longed to do some great work for Me and instead have been laid aside on a bed of pain and weakness? “This thing is ifrom Me.” I want to teach you some of My deepest lessons. “They also serve who only stand and wait.” Some of my greatest workers are those shut out from active service that they may learn to wield the weapon of all prayer.

Are you suddenly called upon to occupy a difficult and responsible position? “This thing is from Me.: Trust Me. “Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint” (Isaiah 40:31).
This day I place in your heands this pot of holy oil; make use of it freely, My child. Let every circumstance that would crush you, every word that pains you, every revelation of your own weakness be anointed with it. The sting will go as you learn to see Me in all things.
“ will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them” (Isaiah 42:16).

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WAIANAEGAL 8/13/2013 11:06AM

    thank you so much for sharing your gifts from your Mom. I too think of my Mom passed Dec 10 1994, still missing her every day. Time will heal the pain but the loss continues.
We used to share little cassette instead of letters, my sons would tell my parents what they did in school that day and then my parents would record their days back to us, I am so fortunate to still have 3 of them. It's a joy to hear both my parents and my sons as youngsters.
Blessings and healing to you...
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RORYLYONS 8/13/2013 3:06AM

    Hugs and prayers sent....My mom's passing was August 11th ...18 yrs ago. Time has flown by and like you I miss hearing her voice but treasure her memory also. I love your walk with the robin close by.Great story you chose to share.... emoticon

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SAISHA100CJ 6/4/2013 4:00PM

    {{{Hugs}}} you are always in my prayers, Bonnie. How wonderful you have your Mom's Bible. It is so precious & I am sure it will comfort you. emoticon emoticon

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BEC_55 6/4/2013 8:46AM

    Bonnie,
I have not been around SP since last week. My mother passed away also. I want you to know how much your blog meant to me.
HUGS Friend!
Becky

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KITT52 6/3/2013 8:02AM

    I understand..even after 10 years I still think of my Mom each and everyday....
I try to remember the good times and feel blessed that I had those days to remember for ever....
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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 6/2/2013 11:00PM

    ((Bonnie))

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AJDOVER1 6/2/2013 7:32PM

    My prayers are with you, Bonnie. I understand the emotions you're going through.

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KMICHA 6/2/2013 5:02PM

    Oh thanks for sharing Bonnie! I can't imagine the loss you are feeling. What a comfort to know that God is there for you and He will comfort you and hold you up. Hugs my friend!

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M77355 6/2/2013 2:20PM

    Thank you for another wonderful posting. emoticon

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CATHYG7 6/2/2013 12:21PM

    Hugs my friend! I am so sorry that you are missing your dear mom so much! I am so glad that God blessed you with such a beautiful woman for a mom...you are a beautiful reflection of her! I pray you will find comfort and peace in time. I love the piece you picked and shared. Thank you. Hugs!!!

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B.G's Garden And A Healing Walk

Wednesday, May 15, 2013



The closest picture I can find of my vision for B.G.'s garden


I had a beautiful walk today. I decided to just walk around my backyard and on the large terrace under my deck because I just did not feel like really being out in public today because I was feeling so emotional, yet I did want to get in my exercise. At first as I was walking I was really sad and missing Mom. I happened to be listening to some songs that we had played continuously on my iPad during the last few days of Mom's life (when she was in a comatose state and couldn't communicate with us). We wanted her to have some of her favorite music playing and we always had someone there with her at her bedside just holding her hand and talking to her. All those feelings during that last week came flooding back to me and I was overcome with this overwhelming longing just to sit and talk with Mom. At one point during the walk I was just sobbing.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtUBRt9HEVg Chris Tomlin- Shout To The Lord

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmfJk7qRC8o Jadon Lavik- My Father's World

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uaTXNxUXcn4&
list=PL15754E7175559353

Jadon Lavik - I Surrender All

As the walk progressed, I became much more calm and started really enjoying the feeling of the warm sun shining and the gentle breeze blowing. Several different kinds of birds kept me company during my walk and were flitting from tree to tree and singing for me....I saw a robin, a pretty red cardinal, some doves, some jays, and these tiny little birds (maybe finches or wrens). The cardinal was really singing up a storm and seemed to follow me throughout my walk flying from tree to tree and at one point sitting on my next door neighbor's roof. It was almost as if my mom was there, letting me know that she was close by. I felt her gentle presence and was comforted. Before I knew it 80 minutes had passed by and I feel so much more at peace and my workout was done.



As I walked I was thinking about a great idea that my mother-in-law had. She suggested that I designate a corner in my back yard to make a garden for my mom and whenever I was really missing her I could go sit in her garden and feel close to her. She suggested that I take some of the flowers that people sent and plant them in the garden and each year on Mom's birthday and on Mother's Day to add a small plant in her memory. She suggested that I pick out a plant that reminded me of Mom, put in some engraved garden stones, statuaries, and a pretty garden bench or chair. What a great idea, Oma! I thought of all the flowers that Mom loved and tried to envision how I wanted to design the garden.

Mom loved blue, purple, lavender, and white flowers...blue hydrangeas, purple irises, lavender hyacinthes, and white roses, etc. She loved angels and hearts, so I could add an angel statuary and heart garden stones. I have a white wicker chair that I could put in the garden until I find the perfect bench or chair. She loved wind chimes so I would love to find a pretty iron stand that I could hang some wind chimes on. My daughter Courtney brought B.G. a pretty blue hydrangea on the last day that she came to visit Mom and that could be the first thing that I plant in the garden.



I love the idea of B,G.'s garden! In case you are wondering...B.G. is what Mom's grandchildren called her. It stands for Beautiful Grandmother and that was such a perfect name for her. She was truly beautiful both inside and out.



Mom when she was around 19 years old




A fairly recent picture of Mom when she was on a trip to Myrtle Beach with her girlfriends.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATHYG7 5/19/2013 11:31AM

    Very beautiful Bonnie! What a wonderful idea! Hugs to you!

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AJDOVER1 5/17/2013 6:52PM

    Thanks for sharing such beauty with us.
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JANEMARIE77 5/17/2013 11:22AM

    emoticon she is always there, always with you you are blessed

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KITT52 5/16/2013 7:06AM

    HUGS
thanks for sharing , it has been nearly 10 years now since my Mom passed, the day is coming close and so I know how you feel...
those are beautiful pictures and a loving memory of your Mom



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SAISHA100CJ 5/16/2013 6:57AM

    Bonnie, what a beautiful idea. Such lovely photos of your Mom. {{{Hugs}}}

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M77355 5/15/2013 10:34PM

    What a wonderful Idea! Please pass on additional thanks to your Oma.
We love to garden, too, and it would be such a pleasure to follow through on.
You're very fortunate to have some of your Mom's lovely features!

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DJ4HEALTH 5/15/2013 10:32PM

    It sounds like it is going to be beautiful to sit in and think of all the good times that you had with your mother.

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MSLILL 5/15/2013 8:20PM

    Thank you for sharing your garden idea. I too am adjusting to missing my Mother and your words helped me to view things in a little brighter light.

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57OLDS 5/15/2013 8:12PM

  What a beautiful garden and tribute to your Mom. Take care and God Bless.

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Happy Mother's Day

Saturday, May 11, 2013




A Song For Mothers - Guardian Angel by Leah West
www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=ZPMfMJ3
Vvsg&feature=endscreen



A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

"Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking it's life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name."

"You will simply call her, 'Mom.'"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WORKNPROGRESS49 5/12/2013 5:10PM

    emoticon

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KITT52 5/12/2013 12:39AM

    very sweet
thanks for sharing

Have a Blessed Mother's day

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ERIECANALGAL 5/12/2013 12:24AM

    emoticon
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AJDOVER1 5/11/2013 11:34PM

    Thanks, Bonnie. Very sweet.

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CAT609 5/11/2013 11:26PM

    Wow!! Absolutely beautiful! Thanks!

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ELSCO55 5/11/2013 9:09PM

    Beautiful

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SAISHA100CJ 5/11/2013 7:32PM

    Thank you, Bonnie. {{{{Hugs}}}} emoticon

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ZIGGY122 5/11/2013 7:18PM

    emoticon for Sharing. Happy Mother's Day

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UMBILICAL 5/11/2013 7:08PM

  Parents are precious.

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INSPIRATIONAL3 5/11/2013 6:53PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU TOO

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A Time For Everything

Tuesday, May 07, 2013



There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8

This weekend was all about graduations...We had a fun weekend going to my nieces' graduations on Saturday and Sunday. Julie Kathryn graduated from the University of Montevallo. It was a bit bittersweet because this was where my mom attended college back in the 50's when it was called Alabama College....back then it was an all girls college. Oh how we wished that Mom could have been there to see her first grand daughter graduate from the college she attended! It was also special for me because Julie and I were both Phi Mus.

Sunday my other niece, Lauren, graduated with honors from Auburn University and that was special too since my dad, my sisters, and I had all attended Auburn. Lauren was a Chi Omega just like my sisters. Mom was such a huge Auburn fan and she would have loved being there to see Lauren graduate! We especially missed Mom this weekend. We were so proud of Julie Kathryn and Lauren and the fine young ladies that they have become...Mom would have been so proud!

THIS was the time to celebrate the younger generations accomplishments, and I thought of this Bible verse about there being a time for all things. Life does go on....

Even though we were not ready to say goodbye to Mom, I guess it was her time to go. She lived a great life and she lives on in our memories, in the faces of her grand children, and in the great legacy she left behind.

It's my time to mourn her passing right now, but someday the grief pains won't be so sharp. Even though I will always miss her, someday life will return to normal.

Even though I wonder how life could possibly go on...it does.

Turn, Turn, Turn by the Byrds
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_zXhD3vZ_g

Turn Turn Turn ( to Everything There Is a Season) was adapted from the book of Ecclesiastes (3:1) by Pete Seeger in 1959. In 1965 The Byrds recording went to #1 on the Billboard 100.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MKELLY72 5/9/2013 1:03PM

    Lovely song and bible verse. I find myself thinking of it often myself. It helps me to put a positive spin on things that seem not to have one.
Michelle

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COLOMAGIRL 5/8/2013 6:07PM

    Sending you big hugs...

I lost my Mom back in September. We just found out that grandbaby # 3 is on the way in October and the first thing we all thought was that she would have loved to have met this new little one. All I can say is that I know she IS spending some special time with this new little love up in heaven before he/she arrives.

I pray that God holds you in the palm of His hand and that the beautiful memories of your mom comfort you and bring you peace.



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AJDOVER1 5/8/2013 1:56PM

    It's good to see you focus on celebrating the life of your Mom. She IS proud of you and your family. She's still with you and always will be.

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 5/7/2013 7:43PM

    Dads are not mom's but I understand feeling like the pain will never end. My daddy was 49 when he passed. He was my biggest supporter in life. But the pain did fade and was filled with the awesomeness of who he was. It has been over 20 years and I can still well up from time to time and long for his voice or the touch of his hand but overall I am just filled with the peace of knowing he is with the Father and I really will see him again one day. My prayer for you is that your pain days become less and less and that your heart doesn't hurt so much. That God holds you close as you go through the grief to the other side. emoticon

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SAISHA100CJ 5/7/2013 2:56PM

    Bonnie, congratulations to Lauren & Julie Kathryn! I am so glad you have such a sweet family. I know this is a difficult time for all of you & it is wonderful you can be surrounded with such a loving family to share your memories of your Mom and to spend special moments with your neices' graduation ceremonies etc.
Please know you all are in my thoughts and prayers. I understand. emoticon emoticon

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 5/7/2013 12:32PM

    One of my favorite verses. emoticon

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I miss you Mom....

Friday, May 03, 2013







The last few days have been really rough. I think this song says it all....


www.youtube.com/watch?v=HATTvWDugPI

Is it Me
Or have I decieved myself
I thought I heard you call my name
Out in the pouring rain

I really thought
I thought I saw your face
But after a second look
I saw I made a clear mistake

Chorus
Mother I miss you
At nights I just wish
You were here with me
So we can laugh and talk again

Mother I miss you
but I'll just kiss you
And send it on the wind
'Cause you know
I plan to see you again

Bridge:
So much I wanted to show you
So much I wanted to give
I thought our time would be much longer
Missin' my best friend


I miss you Mom emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WORKNPROGRESS49 5/14/2013 2:38PM

    Sending thoughts/prayers along with GREAT BIG virtual emoticon

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NEENSTER1 5/6/2013 6:07PM

    emoticon So Much Mom! I understand when you say you miss your mom.

I can't wait to see my mother again.

Be Encouraged.

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 5/6/2013 5:39PM

    emoticon

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CAROLYN0107 5/6/2013 1:52AM

    emoticon

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KITT52 5/5/2013 4:24AM

    emoticon

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ERIECANALGAL 5/5/2013 12:05AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TIME2BLOOM4ME 5/4/2013 11:02PM

    emoticon

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AJDOVER1 5/4/2013 8:27PM

    I'm right with you, Bonnie. Missing my Mom....

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MTNGRL 5/4/2013 5:39PM

   
emoticon emoticon emoticon The words in the song are so touching. Missing my Mom too even after all these years.

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PATTIE441 5/4/2013 4:37PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DOWNPORT 5/4/2013 11:22AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GAILRUU 5/4/2013 9:09AM

    My mother was 95 and died last December. She had dementia and was in a nursing home so life was not what she had wanted it to be. I miss the old Mom and often wish I could ask a question or have a talk with her again.

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MSMAKEOVER 5/4/2013 2:53AM

    I understand. My heart goes out to you. I miss my Mom too. Wishing you peace and blessings. emoticon

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ELSCO55 5/3/2013 10:49PM

    emoticon

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OUTDOORGIRL69 5/3/2013 8:33PM

    Thank you for this. I also miss my mom. She has been gone for 4 years now but it seams just like yesterday I was talking to her. Time goes by so quick.

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LIVINGFREE19 5/3/2013 8:31PM

    You find the best songs for your blogs!

I am so sorry your heart is breaking.


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