BONNIEBEE's Recent Blog Entries

Incredibly busy week...

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Job hunting, job applying, classes, choir practice--sheesh--I'm busier than if I was working!!!

Another rejection email. I get to where I almost expect them automatically. I am again working on tweaking my resume, cover letter, based on the class I took last Thursday. Also have been staying in tune to the government job site, as I expect it to increase here soon. I did find a job on there that I'm pretty sure I don't qualify for, but it had a lot good material in the application process that I want to work on just to increase my job-ability. Directions essentially for the cover letter, and questions to answer that are job related.

I am not giving up, I will go down fighting and scratching and clawing!!!!


Suday and other Stuff

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Miserable day weatherwise, but lovely church service. We are entering into the pared down Lent season. always gives me lots to think about or reflect as the terminology seems to go. I'm doing okay, I forgive myself easier than I used to. /And basically I'm a good person, just human.

My friend, Alex, died on Wednesday. I was incredibly sad at first--still had visions of being able to go visit him in Hawaii. But I have consoled myself with the knowledge that he is reunited with his beloved Sabel, and they can hold hands and talk to each other again. What a wonderful vision of Heaven!!!


Ash Wednesday and reflection

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

It is the start of Lent. I sometimes dread this season as the anniversary of my husband's death falls in this time (March 17). It has been 21 years. My grief is not "fresh", but it is still a part of me and who I am. It mostly crops up around our son, who has become an alcoholic, thus following in his father's footsteps of addiction. I ache for my son, because his behavior does not make him happy, and makes it harder for him to deal with both everyday life and his issues. Actually it keeps him from dealing with his issues. He echoes his father in that all his problems are someone else's fault. A lot of the time that someone else is me. I know I was not perfect, but my biggest mistake was being TOO easy on him. While his father was still alive, I felt like I had to make up for his shortcomings, and his berating Joel for never doing anything right or well enough. I didn't do Joel any favors, I can see looking back. Between his addiction and Mom trying to smooth away difficulties, he is ill equipped to deal with life. I have mostly forgiven myself. After all, Joel is 30 years old now. The choices he makes are his own now. It's just hard not being Mom. I would wave my magic wand and make it all better if the darn thing wasn't on the fritz!

I know that Lent leads to Easter, so I will get through the "down" time. All the music we have this year is a big help. Music lifts my spirits and soothes my soul. It speaks to me as no other language can. So much like my little birdie friends, I will be chirping away during Lent and into that glorious Easter morning.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

154BYAUG 2/25/2009 10:42PM

  My heart goes out to you and I hope your son overcomes his addiction. I have a family member who has been clean & sober (through AA) for over 25 years now.
His mom was an alcoholic & so was he by age 20, or so (& drugs).
You can only do so much as a parent (I have 2 20-something kids). Like weight loss, it is up to the person with the problem.
You've got a great sense of humor - hang on to it!!
All the best to you...

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BABY_GIRL69 2/25/2009 5:57PM

    As we go into lent you try not to be so hard on yourself as a parent. We do all we can for our children & unfortunately some bad & some good. What if they came with a handbook? I think something would still go wrong, be it minor or major. So be encouraged & we are here for you.


PS. I gave up my favorite candy, Red Vines, pray I make it.

Dee emoticon emoticon

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heh, heh, heh...

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Thank you Mother Nature, thanks to less "bloat", I am already a pound lighter!!!!


To scale or not to scale.......

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I have a love/hate thing going with the scales.

I either ignore them completely, like lately, or I'm on 'em a couple of times a day!! There doesn't seem to be a happy medium.

So I get weighed on the official scales at the
Senior Center and I'm up 6 pounds--sheesh. It WAS afternoon, and I was clothed, and I was bloated, BUT 6 pounds?!!! So I retrieve my home scales from their banishment, and by them I am up 4 pounds ( morning, hardly any clothes and some of the bloat gone!!! lol) But it's a wake up call. I know my level of cardio has not been where I'd like it to be. However hard I start out trying when I'm stuck in the house, the level tends to dwindle. It is getting warmer and I was out for a long time yesterday just enjoying creation.

I saw lots and lots of duck and duck-like critters at the park next to the library--other than the mallards, I haven't a clue, even with the field guide! They must have been Oregon variations on a theme!!! It keeps my mind working so I guess that's the benefit, even tho I couldn't add any of the little wonders to my list. I just need to appreciate them for what they are, not keep caught up in the "book larnin' "!!!


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