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Why do we do this to ourselves?

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Here I am... months from my last post. After falling off the bandwagon yet again, I decided I needed to make a major change... especially while I am here at school. I just don't know how.

I've been so busy like every college student is, but I can't keep using that as an excuse. I walk with in 100 feet of one of the on-campus fitness centers at least once a day, usually three or four times. But I make the excuse that I need to be studying or I am exhausted or maybe just that I cannot fit a day's worth of course materials and my clothes for the gym in the same backpack. Those are the big ones that I use.

Tonight, I bought an Odwalla Protein Monster drink (chocolate). I am a big fan of smoothies and protein drinks, but the disease I have keeps me from getting fresh-made ones on campus because I'm allergic to bananas. I've been drinking the Strawberry C flavor for a while now without thought, so I decided to expand a bit today. And I drank the entire Protein Monster without bothering to look at the nutrition facts. 400 calories in that bottle? 400?! I was so angry with myself that I signed in to SparkPeople to track my food for the day and see how bad it really was.

I went over, and in come cases WAY over, my limits for the day on everything except protein, ironically. I had maybe one glass of actual water, and the rest was sugary juices and that ridiculous protein drink. And I made myself feel okay with it as I was doing it... rationalizing it. Closest place to get lunch? Let's get a chicken tender wrap from the specialty dining hall. Two or three iced caramel soy lattes a day? Gotta stay awake. Uncrustables? Easy sandwich on my way to class. Salmon and cream cheese rolls? Sushi is supposed to be good for you... isn't it?

I'm fully disgusted with me at current. And while positive thoughts are important, sometimes it is better to get the negative ones out than keep them bottled up inside. I need to find some way to work on this... to see what I am doing to myself.

Has anyone tried the BodyBugg? I was thinking today about purchasing one with my tax return, but I wanted to ask in case someone sees this and maybe tried one but didn't like it. If someone out there still has one and would be willing to let a broke college student try it out before she invests, that would be appreciated and would be sent back to you with a nice thank-you card as soon as I know how I feel about it. There is a TON of good feedback on how it records your daily burn, and I think that knowing how much I am taking in and not having to completely guess how much is going out would really help me.

Thanks SparkPeople. If nothing else, you are excellent for stopping me from lying to myself. But of course we all know that the spark is a lot more than that.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILICKCHAPSTIK 2/12/2011 11:06AM

    I know how you feel, Julie. I thought it would be easier with the gym right there on campus but I found it easier to make excuses without my support system near me. Before I left I had multiple walking buddies and people bugging me and supporting me to continue to do well. When I left I found people didn't think to bug me to work out because I wasn't home and the only workout buddy I found (my roommate) made me feel fat for not walking as fast as she could. I'm sure that wasn't her intentions but not someone I'd want making sure I was doing my best. I do know I always gain more during the winter because I did most of my walking outside and have no desire to do it in the snow. Maybe we should move down south? :)

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4A-HEALTHY-BMI 2/11/2011 1:43PM

    CARRIE1948 has a bodybugg and uses it a lot.

Hang in there. I know tracking definitely helps me. But sometimes the news can be painful.

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On pain, tennis, law, shoes, and friends...

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


If you watch, please share any advice you might have to give! :)

-Jul

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILICKCHAPSTIK 7/28/2010 9:32AM

    Tbanks for watching my vlog! :D Hey, Julie... word of encouragment... I realize you're trying to be realistic, I do it all the time. But, rewatch the start of your blog. You aren't being very positive. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, being honest with yourself is great! But, I think you need to think about how you can have a positive attitude. I think you should reread your blog about the things you CAN do, it will be inspirational. :)

It's really encouraging to hear that I'm come off as so excited about all this! I would love to go for a walk today, I'll talk to my friend. I was thinking buttermilk falls? We'll see. Looking forward to these last couple weeks with you! :D I'll be posting a vlog soon, i like it!

Any advice on why sparkpeople won't let me subscribe to your blog?!???!

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MSCOCOPUFFS01 7/28/2010 1:22AM

    Sorry about your pain. I hope you can get that taken care of. It's awesome that you want to get back into playing tennis. I think that would be great! I watched your friends first vlog today. She's really cool... Glad you introduced her to sparkspeople... have a great week!

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First video blog in FOREVER!

Thursday, July 22, 2010

=) Hi, awesome people. Find my friend Kate and wish her luck! Her screen name is ILICKCHAPSTIK.

-Jul

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ILICKCHAPSTIK 7/26/2010 11:08PM

    nice vlog! i think i'll do one! thnx for the shout out! cant wait to come visit your gym at your college. :P Nice juice, btw.

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ILICKCHAPSTIK 7/26/2010 5:09PM

    Computer with no speakers + Vlog = FAIL.... I'll watch it when i get on my laptop! lol.

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IMOJANE 7/23/2010 6:48AM

    Heeeyy Julie! So happy you're back! It's so helpful to have someone else with you too. Good idea! :-) I really like that you've added new pictures, I'm looking forward to seeing your changes. Now you can rebuild your life in your new lifestyle!
AWWWEEESOOOME for losing 17 lbs!!!! That's so good. I'm so happy you're looking forward to treating your body right, doing exercise and keeping healthy
Well done! Looking forward to hearing more.
Good on you for walking :-) Keep it up!Please carry on vlogging, I like watching your blogs.
I'm doing some yoga too and I find it really helps for me to focus. It's cool that you have a big fitness facility to go to. Good luck on this week, you're sounding really good! :-)

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MSCOCOPUFFS01 7/23/2010 1:31AM

    Nice First Vlog in FOREVER!!! It's very cool that your friend has joined u! Sounds like the fitness center at the college will be really helpful as well... Good Luck!!

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BIBLECHICK 7/22/2010 11:32PM

    How fun! Great blog post. :) You're netbook works just fine! It is always great to have a friend along with you. Best wishes reaching all of your goals.

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I CAN!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

So if I have learned anything with fighting my emotional being in the past couple weeks, it is that you need to reinforce what you can do and not what you can't. And in no specific order:

I CAN eat delicious things and still be healthy.

I CAN say no to that pastry for desert at Panera Bread and substitute chunks of watermelon.

I CAN get up and eat breakfast every single morning instead of skipping it.

I CAN walk one mile, without stopping, at a good pace even though I wasted so much time insisting I couldn't.

I CAN (and have) stop(ped) drinking soda.

I CAN enjoy a glass or two of wine in a week instead of a bottle or two.

I CAN learn how to eat well in most any situation.

I CAN build muscle and have, in fact, done so over the past few weeks.

I CAN still play tennis, even if a bit slower. But the slowness won't last long.

I CAN talk to the people I trust about my goals, health-related and not.

I CAN live a healthy lifestyle on a college student budget.

I CAN get up and go to the gym 5 times per week, and will start as soon as I move into my apartment at my new college. Yay free state-of-the-art gym usage!

I CAN convince myself that water is tasty enough to drink all of the time instead of just once in a while.

I CAN surprise my friends at the "all years ending in 0" class reunion in September. Yay class of 2010!

I CAN learn to drive and not be paranoid about seat belts not fitting.

I CAN run a 5K.

I CAN be a better, healthier girlfriend to the man I adore.

I CAN score a 173 on my Law School Admissions Test and get into Columbia Law.

I CAN tolerate the small amounts of pain that come with big amounts of satisfaction that I am doing good things for myself.

I CAN dance, and plan to start again when I feel coordinated enough.

I CAN make those around me proud, and make myself proud in turn.

I CAN lose 150 lbs.

I CAN be healthy and happy.

I CAN feel comfortable in my own skin.

I CAN live a lot longer if I don't quit again.

I CAN do anything I want to.

So my challenge for anyone reading this today is to blog a lots of positive things that you CAN do on your own sparkpage, and make sure to comment here so I know to go read them.

-Jul

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PRINCESSRACHEL2 7/23/2010 10:42AM

  I'm truly inspired! emoticon

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IMOJANE 7/23/2010 7:45AM

    :-) Keep it up!

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BOVEY63 7/13/2010 11:44AM

    emoticon
Great blog!

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EATOMANY 7/13/2010 8:34AM

    What a wonderful list! I did a list of I can's recently and loved how it felt to come up with all the things I have accomplished on this journey. Keep up the great work!

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POLARBEAR63 7/13/2010 8:22AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ANDREWMOM 7/13/2010 8:21AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOWDOIHEARTTHEE 7/13/2010 8:21AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Feeling good today.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Granted, it IS only 9am. But at least I am not exhausted and dehydrated like I was yesterday. I just walked 3/4 of a mile in record high heat - 82 degrees at 8:40am. I had to do it in my jeans and polo that I was wearing to work though. =( I'm silly and forgot to do laundry last night. I'm about halfway through The Spark now and have discovered how to be coordinated enough to read it while walking. Win for me!

For the first time in a very long time I am SO excited about eating lunch, but not excited enough to gobble it down early and go hunting for a piece of pizza later as per usual. I am full, drinking water, and chewing gum. That really helps!

Lunch today:
-crunchy peanut butter sandwich on multi-grain bread
-baby carrots and sliced mushrooms
-3/4 cup of raspberries

Yum yum!

Only thing I am not looking forward to as of yet is taking the bus and then walking a mile from the bus stop home. It wouldn't be so bad if it were all flatland, but there are lots of hills. Ugh. =(

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOVEY63 7/7/2010 1:05PM

    Way to go on walking before work despite the high temps.
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Your lunch does sound yummy - especially the fresh raspberries.
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