Monday, October 24, 2011
It's not a catastrophic problem, just more of a question...
I don't know what I can freeze successfully other than your typical meat, soups, and veggies.
Need a list of suggestions...Thanks fellow sparkies...
Monday, October 24, 2011
After gaining almost 20 pounds, and losing control. I have finally gotten it together and lost 5 pounds the first week, gained 1.2 pounds the second week (water weight), and this past weigh in I lost another 3 pounds. I am tracking about 85% of the time, and much more mindful of what I "stuff" in my mouth. Now if only figure out this stupid right knee. It makes walking a horrific experience, yet I keep trying. I went to see the orthopaedist, and he shot me up with cortisone right in the knee joint...OUCH! Numbing agent or not, it hurt like a B----! I will admit that it has helped somewhat, but I still believe something is wrong because every so often, I feel a sharp pain in the knee, and it causes my knee to buckle. NOT GOOD FOLKS!
On the bright side, I don't feel sluggish, and I am about to destress because I was told that my "problem patient" is being transferred to another facility in Greece, NY. MAJOR WOOHOO!!! IT'S PARTY TIME!!! I may even be able to cut back on my antidepressant a bit! Her behavior was slowly eating away at me, and I resented her (it's really sad because I don't resent anyone, and I love my patients, as they bring me a sense of joy to my work).
I refuse to surround myself with negative people as they are the ones who leech pessimism, and negativity is what discourages success! I had a co-worker who thought she was "all that", and after I had said something that I thought was humorous, she said, "If I wanted to hear a 'smartass', I would have farted!" Without even batting an eyelash, I replied, "Better to be a smartass than a dumb one!," then I walked away! I had received so many "high fives", my hand was sore!
I am feeling great, and will continue to fight forward.
"If you don't take care of #1, you will feel, look, and be treated like #2!"
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Well, after a good swift kick in the hiney, I started to track my food again. Welll what a surprise (glad I was sitting down when I got the news), I was down 5 pounds. Yesterday, eventhough I was hurting in the right knee, I still walked at the local track for about 8 laps at a moderate pace. Enough to sweat, but not enough to put me on disability.
Back on September 18, Rochester, NY had their annual marathon, and my brother, (On2Victory) took up the challenge and ran it. He came out of it successfully as he finished the race. However, on the hand, I took his family to meet him at mile marker 13. To get to that mile marker you have to climb a hill. It was well paved so it was fairly even so I didn't roll my ankle or anything like that. I stepped down on my right foot and felt something that was a cross between a pinch, a burn, and a "zing" down my leg, in my right knee.
I have been limping ever since, and I am scheduled to see an orthopedist on October 18th. Wish me luck...
Friday, September 30, 2011
After having a long talk with my bro (On2Victory), I stepped on the scale today and realized I was up another 5 pounds. What am I doing wrong? What was I thinking?! Between my brother's encouragement, and a conversation with my original WW leader. I am trying again to do things right. I am tracking my foods, and I am having my husband install the new DVD player I bought from Target ($34.99). Since I have a possible medial meniscus tear (talk about irony...my darling brother runs the Rochester marathon and I am the one with the injury! SUCKS!), I know I have to be very careful with any running, walking or any weight training aimed at my lower legs, but I know that with the DVD's I have from weight watchers, there are exercises that are modified.
I tracked all my food today, and will track again tomorrow. I will take this one day at a time. I am reminded of a saying but cleaned up it states "Excuses are like bellybuttons, everyone has one!" I was making horrible excuses, "Too tired; I don't have time to track; look at the stress in my life; having pity parties where the snacks were my anti-depressants.
I have to learn to say "no" again, and it is real hard. Also during my conversation with my brother, he told me about how people explain their short-comings by stating they didn't exercise because their "partner" at the gym didn't show, or canceled. I thought it was very applicable to me. I don't have a partner to exercise with or do the weight watcher's with me, and used that as an excuse to not chart, document, or track, or go out walking. It's a crappy excuse but again, they are like bellybuttons...
We are all human and make mistakes and we are also lazy. Weight loss and getting healthy takes work, every day, and as I first learned in Weight Watcher's; this is NOT a diet. There is a beginning and there is no end. You can always start over, but there is no end because this is a lifestyle change.
Another thing that inspires me to try again is my brother's recent video posting on you tube. I am making it a priority to view it every day (posted under my favorites on my iPhone so I can carry it wherever I go).
I am starting to feel the enthusiasm again and it feels great.
Thanks for the swift kick in the arse bro!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
It has been since March that I wrote my last entry...
So much has happened and none of it good. I am currently struggling with my weight, as I have found out that I haven't gained the 10 pounds I was hoping for out of this mess of a life, but 17 pounds even.
My first thought was, "Just one more thing to go wrong in my life; slipping backwards!" I had some time to think about things.
1) What is going on in my life that is causing this disruption in my mental discipline? - Hmmm. Tough question, but my excuses for this one are the following; A) My job is becoming more stressful - decreased staffing, and extremely need patients, and administration still expecting tip-top performance in nursing care/customer service. I am constantly working short, so now I am not only passing medications, but I am also doing my own treatments, AND the aides job when I can...all for the same salary. This causes so much exhaustion, I can't get my ass out of bed to go to the gym. My shift starts at 3pm, and if I punch out before 2am, I consider myself blessed. I haven't punched out on time (11:30pm) in months. B) Because of the increase work hours due to short staffing, now my risk of injury increases. Apparently there is a law that is going into effect by 2012 where various facilities have to have equipment and a plan on how to use it, and when to use it in order to reduce work-related injuries. I got mad at this one because we had the in-services for this one last december 2010. I find out that the reason we didn't have the appropriate equipment is because of some BS thing where the facility didn't have a high enough percentage of attendees to warrant the purchase of this equipment. WELL WHO'S FAULT WAS THAT?!?! Not mine...I attended, and who's responsibility was it to ensure that the percentage of employees was met??? NOT MINE. Now as a result of the BS, I have a shoulder injury that was caused by a 300+ man on a vent who needed to be hoisted up in bed. So I followed the care plan (2-assist), used the draw sheet, and 1,2,3...he didn't move, but my shoulder did, and immediately felt a burning sensation down my left arm (I am left handed to make matters worse). Now I am terrified that I have rotator-cuff involvement, and a possible torn bicep. I see the orthopedist tomorrow. I don't really want to drone on and on about this, but let's just say, I am very hurt and angry that for my 4+ years of service to this company, and never had a shoulder problem before, all I was told was I should have used the hoyer sling and the ceiling lift on this man! Big problem with that, first he was sitting in a lake of (you know what), and he was having difficulty breathing as he had a mucous plug. I am not taking 5-10 minutes to put a clean sling under a dirty man with a compromise to his airway. Also, injury would have still been possible by the pushing and pulling getting this man from side to side to get this stupid thing under him. It's a no win situation. On to C) My husband's father's health had been deteriorating for months and we were on the other side of the health care system. BOY DOES IT STINK! Medicare, social work, and being placed in a substandard nursing home that has a list of violations longer than a roll of toilet paper. This is certainly a stressor in and of itself for anyone who has ever had an aging parent or grandparent that needed placement in a nursing home. TESTIFY FOLKS!! We've all been there. Well, he passed away July 25th, and we've been off our nut ever since. My husband is very depressed, and is in early stages of grieving (every little thing sets him off either crying or yelling and screaming). This is very difficult time, and I understand perfectly since both of my parents are gone (right ON2VICTORY?).
2) Why did these things get me gaining weight?
This one is fairly simple. I stopped putting myself first, and started to neglect myself (eating the wrong foods, stopped tracking, and stopped measuring my portion sizes). I remembered from one of my many Weight Watcher meetings, that we had discussed that we, as women, are conditioned to be the primary caregivers and nurturers. We are programmed to put ourselves at the bottom of the proverbial "to do" list; husbands, children, family members outside of immediate family, patients (for medical personnel), etc., etc. We are programmed to meet their needs and desires before our own (thus the martyrdom).
3) How do I fix this without neglecting my duties as a nurse, and a wife?
This is a work in progress... I've started by packing my own lunches again. Dashboard dining isn't what it's cracked up to be...convenient...for whom?, and it's expensive. I will clearly state that I have YET to go to a drive-thru at Mc D's and Burger snot (Unless it's a diet coke ONLY)!! Occasionally, I do hit Wendy's due the better choices, and I love their chili. After seeing the You-tube video of the 4 year old hamburger, I was totally grossed out! I can proudly say I haven't touched those items in over 2 years. I know I am not lying, because my cholesterol numbers are dead on! Just remember, "liars can figure, but figures don't lie!"
I want to thank you for letting me vent. This has been actually liberating for me. I am trying to think positively now and regain some of my energy. I am starting to go in the right direction as my weight is slowly coming down again. My worst weight was when I hit 254 up from 231, so know that I will make it as I am now 246. Just need to mind my P's & Q's, and be aware of what I am eating, and I believe that I will make it. I have to make it!! This is my life.
I don't want to be a runner, or a marathoner, but I do want to live, and enjoy activity, and my family. Walking to me is enough, and we'll see what happens with my appointment tomorrow with my left shoulder, surgery, or P/T? Time will tell.
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