BMCOLLEY   65,026
SparkPoints
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
BMCOLLEY's Recent Blog Entries

Medical Update

Monday, September 15, 2014

I went to see my cardiologist today. We will have #5 surgery in 2 to 3 weeks and #6 a month after that. This time I want a stent which he is willing to do. The only thing I dislike about this is that I won't be able to exercise for approximately a week---that is the lower legs--I will be able to exercise my upper body for strength. I have just now figured out how the exercises are supposed to be done and I don't want to start this all over.

I am scheduled for the ultrasound of my brain and cervical disks. Of course we won't know what has to be done about the growth on my brain until the neurologist knows what it is and what type of problems it has been causing.

The major thing that bothers me: I have a question for someone. Last week, I weighed in at 78 lbs. This week, I weighed in at 92 lbs.--at home and 89.9 (or 98 lbs) at the dr's office. Is this possible? My eating habits are the same as for the last month or so. Through exercising my pain has subsided to the point that I am able to spend a lot more time exercising. I know I have to tell my primary about the extreme weigh gain.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DIANEDOESSMILES 9/16/2014 11:54PM

    HI Bettie !

Hon, I wish you the VERY BESTwith the surgeries !!!! I WOW ! I thoughtI had a lot, but you are matching me !!!! I had my 18th foot surg in June, and will the 19th about Jan.,,

Since I am OFTEN off my feet,,, for exercise for the upper body,, I do A LOT of yoga fors beginners on the neck, arms, shoulders, upper back. I find them on youtube.com under
:Beginners yoga for neck (or arms, shoulders, etc). This helping me out great .y. I also do some light weights which SPARKS shows us how to do.

TY !

Report Inappropriate Comment
KERRYG155 9/16/2014 11:53AM

    Could be water gain but if your clothes don't fit any differently then I would go with a scale being off. Good luck on your surgeries and tests. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 9/16/2014 11:11AM

    You certainly have a lot of challenges ahead of you. I hope you have a full speedy recovery. The weight may have to do with your scales or else you may have a medical problem with edema.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JULIA_211 9/16/2014 5:02AM

    I pray that you will get well soon. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KPETSCHE 9/16/2014 2:29AM

    Best of luck with your surgeries Bettie. I would definitely talk to your doctor about the differences in weight. Either something was wrong with one of the weights or there could be a medical reason for such a large weight difference. I hope it was just a mistake!

Take care of yourself,

Kelly
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BABY_GIRL69 9/15/2014 11:02PM

    I think one of the scales are off. Maybe try a public scale walgreens or Walmart. You get well & be encouraged!

God bless,

Dee

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUBMOM2 9/15/2014 11:00PM

    umm...I'm no expert but I would mention that to your doctor. I hope this next surgery goes well!!

Report Inappropriate Comment


I Love You Dearly, But---You Have to Stay Out of My Bed

Sunday, September 07, 2014

My brother died in 2007. For the last 6 months I have been dreaming that he has been visiting me. Of course, it is always after I turn in for the night. I have a queen size bed. Usually, he comes in and lays on the left side of my bed. He gets off the bed a lot. I have never gotten up to see what he is doing.

I have gotten up to see if he was really there. Usually, the covers on the left side is in the shape of a person. I always want to pull the covers down so that I can see who it is for real. I have spoken with him; however, he will not let me see him. When I make up my mind to look at the person directly he leaves and don't come back for a few nights.--THIS IS ALL PART OF THE DREAM.

Last night was really disturbing. First, when I came in to go to bed he was already on my side of the bed. He was asleep and grumbling. He said something about the world is not treating him right and he Is tired of it. I wanted to tell him to shut up but he was acting so grumpy that I just left him alone. At one point he saw some cards--like birthday cards--he took them and threw them in my face. Last night I not only looked directly at him but I actually touched him because he was lying too close to me. A lady called for him to come to work. I kept saying that he need to go to work until he got up, got dressed, and left. His being here last night made me feel really uneasy. THIS WAS ALSO THE DREAM.

I have never had anything but love and respect for him. I don't know why he made me so uncomfortable. Last night I wanted him to leave because I felt like he was going to hit me. I am getting an hour and a half of sleep at night. It would not be so bad dreaming about my brother but he walks all night long and keep waking me up. THIS IS MOSTLY FROM MY DREAM LAST NIGHT, AS WELL.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BMCOLLEY 9/13/2014 6:50PM

    Thank you all for your important input. Since I wrote this blog I have not had a visit from my brother or anyone else. They may appear in my dreams; however, they do not feel as if they are with me.

Bettie

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIANEDOESSMILES 9/11/2014 1:16AM

    I dream some UNREAL bad ones about my Mom,, and almost all I grew up with,, we helped to raise 3 cousins,, along w/ myself and my 4 brothers.

Mom and I did NOT see eye to eye AT ALL as I grew up. we are soooo much alike,,, we actually contrasted. When i turned 23 suddenly we learned to really LOVE each other,,, and boy did we ! I am so THANKFUL for this.

It was SHORT lived,,, she died of cancer when I was 32,, and she became sick when I was 29,,, the last 3 yrs of her life,,, I was in control of her medical treatments. I was up to the hosp,, where she spent the last 6 months of her life in,,, every AM, so we could watch "Golden Girls" together. She just LOVED that show (Funny I watch it to this day),

I have NO DOUBT she was NOT as mean as the dreams make her,,, as if I am scared of her,, which of course I WAS NOT ! She did the best she could,, with 9 kids.

I look at this way,, maybe you can also,, since we are dreaming of them,,,, it keeps their memories,, ,the way they sounded,, moved,,,, laughed,, etc,,, all fresh in our minds. I in turn have taught my GD all about her,, since they never met. I am clearly a combo of my Dad and Mom. I HONOR this. I just lost Daddy 2 weeks on Weds.



Report Inappropriate Comment
JULIA_211 9/8/2014 5:05AM

    I'm so sorry that you are having these disturbing dreams. I've had many with my mother since she's been gone. I can only assume that it has to do with my feelings of regret and guilt.

I listen to books or old time radio shows (comedies) when I go to bed, it helps take my mind off things. I hope that you're able to find some mental peace soon. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
WALLAHALLA 9/7/2014 9:42PM

    You must have been very close. Maybe if you talk more about him while you are awake, he'll let you sleep.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KERRYG155 9/7/2014 7:43PM

    Hope you can get it resolved so you can actually get some sleep.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 9/7/2014 5:24PM

    I'm certainly not a dream expert but have read books about this. Sometimes the meaning of the dreams depends on the context. Your brother can represent a part of yourself that you are dealing with. Or he could actually be your brother and you have some unresolved issues regarding him. You should do some reading online about this and you might find the answer to what this is happening.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUBMOM2 9/7/2014 3:23PM

    So sorry you've been having these dreams. It must be exhausting! I think Changing Seasons gives some really good advice. Is there some kind of unfinished business with your brother? If you could speak to him, what would you say? Write it all out in a letter, and then burn it. Make a personal ceremony out of it, and hopefully you will find some peace.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHANGINGSEASONS 9/7/2014 9:00AM

    Maybe you could try having conversations with him while you're awake. If his spirit really is entering your dreams there has to be a reason. Spirits need to find peace and move on to be with God. I really do believe they can hear us when we talk to them or even write a letter. I've written letters and burned them before and had a strong feeling the person I was writing to got the letter(someone who had passed that I felt wasn't at peace and hadn't moved on). I know I'm probably in the minority but I've experienced to many things to not believe in spirits. My oldest son's dad was killed in a car crash..of his own making..and things at the time were really chaotic and not good. He had endangered my son and his two half sisters and I had finally just had enough and gotten him to sign over his rights. But, there was a lot of emotion on everyones parts. There was definitely a ghost in our house after he died. I wasn't the only person who experienced things it was pretty obvious. Finally I just started talking to him and forgave him because he was a good person without drugs and alcohol and he had his own emotional stresses even though it was wrong how he chose to deal with them. I wrote a long letter and burned it also and started praying that he would make it to heaven. Shortly after the ghost was totally gone and we all felt peace. And, I'm really NOT a crazy person. lol.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRYINGHARD54 9/7/2014 8:15AM

    hmmmmm. They always say dreams mean something.
And you said he's been on your mind a lot. Who knows why we dream the way we do... maybe you need to just tell him to leave you alone and get out.. in your dream of course. Good luck.. sweet dreams to you , I hope. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


It's All In How You Look at an issue

Friday, August 29, 2014

Perhaps my activities of the recent months has not caught up with me. These are some of the things I have to deal with now:

1. I am now in a wheelchair because my legs are too painful to have them support me for too long. I can still exercise because I take it a few minutes at a time, all day long.

2. A growth has been found on my brain. My neurologist says we have to do additional testing to determine what it is and how it is affecting my body.

3. I have had four surgeries for clogged arteries in my legs. I had to have an ultra which shows total clog in my right leg and partial in my left leg. I will have to have surgery to clear this up.

I am thankful for you all, my Spark friends. When I am not feeling up to snuff, I read the blogs from my friends. The are very lifting because they are so interesting. Oh! I have to go my UP24 is reminding me I have been sitting still for more than 30 minutes--that is a long time to sit still.

Bettie

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUBMOM2 9/7/2014 12:35AM

    Hi Bettie,

How are you feeling today? I did not know you've had all this going on! You are in my thoughts and I'm praying that each day you will feel some kind of improvement. Hang in there!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BMCOLLEY 9/1/2014 10:34PM

    Thank you SUNSHINE, I really appreciate the thought.

Bettie

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNSHINE5268 9/1/2014 10:32PM

    you are such an inspirationnnnnnnn!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BMCOLLEY 8/29/2014 10:06PM

    You two are great and I appreciate your concern.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 8/29/2014 9:58PM

    I am so sorry you are facing all of these challenges. I am praying that you have a good outcome to everything you are facing. Please let us know how you are and what you find out. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KERRYG155 8/29/2014 7:49PM

    I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all these things. Prayers for your health and your doctors as they take care of you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BMCOLLEY 8/29/2014 5:34PM

    Thank you MASTERCARE and SAPHRAEL. I hadn't thought about it but I guess I do feel somewhat isolated. I can blog about my illness on SP; however, I have not shared this with my children or close friends. They usually are to emotional for me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SAPHRAEL 8/29/2014 5:23PM

    Bettie, sorry to hear about all the health issues. I'm glad that you have Sparkpeople as an outlet. I know how isolating it can be to be ill.

Stay strong!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MASTERCARE 8/29/2014 5:16PM

    Hugs and prayers your way!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BMCOLLEY 8/29/2014 4:49PM

    I thank both of you for your prayers and good thoughts. Spark on!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EMMACORY 8/29/2014 4:36PM

    You certainty have your share of health challenges. Sending prayers and emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AUNTALICE2 8/29/2014 4:36PM

    I am so sorry about your health problems. There is not anything I can do only send a prayer for you. I hope the mass on your brain is benign and does not grow anymore. My good thoughts are on your way. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


OCD and Me

Thursday, July 31, 2014

In the past there was a saying "when the going gets tough, the tough goes shopping." They didn't realize it at the time but they were suffering from OCD. They went shopping because thing were tough and hard to cope with. When you shop you should purchase things you need or a reward for yourself.

For the last couple of months I have been shopping with no control. I am on medication for OCD; however, it appears that it is no longer working. I realized what was happening to me last Sunday. It scared me beyond words to experience this debilitating disease again. My psychiatrist is out of town. This is not in my counselor's area of expertise.

Although I cleaned my closet out a few months ago, my closet is filled with clothes from wall to wall. The counselor thought I should try to return as many items as I could. Most of the items were over 30 days and I don't have the return receipt. I will not go and beg them to take the items back because the OCD made me do it---yuk, yuk, yuk

Let me tell you a little about how I have felt over these months. While I was sitting at the computer I felt great. My justification was that I deserved these things--I have been very good lately. I would be soaring. When I finished an order and would walk away from my computer, my mental condition would drop through the floor. I always returned to the computer because it made me feel good and I wanted to recapture the good feeling.

Until my psychiatrist returns, I am training my self to understand that I have rewarded myself more than enough and I will buy nothing else. Sometimes it works and sometime it doesn't. As I was writing this it dawned on me that this sounds like a junkie. I only use prescribed drugs (they can't be addictive), I don't drink, and I don't smoke cigarettes.

Just sharing!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAPHRAEL 8/28/2014 8:38AM

    Sorry to hear you're struggling Bettie.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUBMOM2 8/1/2014 9:59PM

    Hi Bettie,

I'm sorry you had this setback, but it sounds like you are trying to get it under control. Telling us about it is a good way to shed some light on it and maybe shopping will lose its appeal. Is there something else you can do when you feel like shopping? Maybe a walk around the block? Go to the library? I wish I could offer more help. Hang in there!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 8/1/2014 1:46PM

    I can completely understand as I have had 2 friends who had an actual addiction to shopping. I ended up having to move in with one of them because she was so out of control that she was buying duplicates of expensive things like large pieces of electronic exercise equipment. The other purchased $30,000 worth of hobby stuff and had to declare bankruptcy. Problems like this can be so compelling.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KERRYG155 8/1/2014 8:38AM

    That sounds really difficult to deal with. Sorry your doctor is not available to help you. Is there a method to help you put stuff on a wish list and not finish the sale? Not dealing with it that's the only idea I have. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Want to Screen Yourself for OCD????

Friday, July 25, 2014

psychcentral.com/cgi-bin/ocd2.cgi?60
0=17&100=3&200=3&300=3&400=3&500=2

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BMCOLLEY 7/25/2014 12:43PM

    Alice what do you mean when you write "I scored 31 without taking any question?" Did you ever read the article I put together that explains the symptoms of OCD? The problem could be that you have symptoms of more than one problem. If that is the case, one may be stronger and override the OCD symptoms.

Report Inappropriate Comment
AUNTALICE2 7/25/2014 11:47AM

    I scored 31 without taking any questions. I don't understand that. I have never had any OCD episodes in my life. A lot of other things but not that. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BMCOLLEY 7/25/2014 10:58AM

    I would say you are the average of our society. Almost everyone has some degree of OCD, but the majority of our society does not need any type of treatment.

Bettie

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 7/25/2014 10:41AM

    I've had OCD in the past but my score was 2 today.

Report Inappropriate Comment


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 Last Page