Saturday, May 14, 2011
Before bikini pics. Can't hide anything that way
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Feel free to comment here, or on my blog with your comments. Either works for me.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
I am still in the process of setting up my external blogging site for my weight loss journey. Actually, I set it up, and it went down. Hasn't come back. Guess I'll start over. Good thing there were only 2 blogs on it...
Anyhow, I figured I'd post here for now.
Ran my first 10K today. The fastest I've ever done 6miles in the past has been about 80minutes. Today I did it in just under 71 minutes - 1:10 and change.
It was great. I ran, even though I've been sick all week long. I did some short runs this week, and knew I could run. Otherwise I woudl have backed out.
I ran almost the entire thing. I stopped three times for water. Just long enough to swallow. I also had to stop a few times to blow my nose. Again, just long enough to blow. Ran while putting the kleenex away again.
I also walked for two short bouts. But as soon as I started walking, I realized I really wanted to push through and run. No matter how slow, I wanted to run. So I did.
I am counting it as a run. I walked less than .2miles. Probibly less than .1. I just wouldn't let myself walk.
My HR was up near the 160's most of the time. I'm not used to that. My average is usually low to mid 140's. I was watching, but it all felt good, so I kept going.
I didn't stick around for awards. I started to cry right after my run.
My room mate came out. We've been having issues for the past few days. Yesterday he told me he couldn't be bothered to come. I felt so alone. But there he was right before the start of the race. At the turn around point, and at the finish line.
He was there. When I finished running, I went to my van to cry. He came over. Asked if I was okay. I told him yes. The started to change my shoes. He took off in a huff. He's pissed off at me again. What does he expect? I reach out to him when I'm crying, he pushes me away. Makes me feel worse. This time I tried to hide it from him. He's pissed off because of it.
I give up.
I just saw Colin drive past. He saw my van and motorcycle out front, and he drove away. Didn't even stop. Guess he figures I'm too stupid to have seen him go by.
Why do I let him get to me like this? I just don't get it.
Friday, May 13, 2011
If you know who Yoovie is, you know what is going on.
If you don't know, Yoovie was a user who was incredibly motivating. She was brutally honest in her blogs. She had to kick her own butt on a regular basis to loose her weight, and she did so openly and honestly. Yes, she could be crude. And yes, she had a unique personality.
It was this unique person here I was drawn to. Her brutal honesty with herself was amazing. It helped me become more and more honest with myself on my journey. She inspired me in more ways than just weight loss.
Anyhow, she has had to take her page down. Complaints about comments and such. I guess the most recent was a picture she posted. It absolutely amazed me. I don't know exactly what it was about that pic, but it captivated me. The woman had such a beautiful body. She was exposing her 6pack abs, and the bottom portion of her breasts. She was not nude. And it was not a pornography image. Heck, it was not even a nude image.
But someone didn't like it and reported it. That was the last straw for her. She removed her page. I found where she is blogging now, and will continue to follow her as many Yoovie fans already have.
(If you are looking for her, message me. I'll send you the link to her blog site)
Anyhow, I was starting to blog offsite from SP as well recently. I began to realize I have more of a story to tell than just focusing on my weight loss. I was clogging up my blogs with "other" stuff. Decided to take it elsewhere. I was posting links to my other blogsite so anyone who wants to follow can.
FYI, I am on blogger.com. My username is bluerose73. I have a few blogs going. One is My life. The other is my weight loss journey. I will post links to these blogs when I can get them. They are down for maintenance right now.
Anyhow, I am so disheartened by what has happened. I still beleive spark is a great sight. There are incredible tools here.
But I am confused. I don't really know if I want to continue blogging here. I know by standing up for what I beleive in, I'm opening myself up to criticism and censorship. I'm not interested in either.
Friends of mine feel free to let me know how you feel. Share your viewpoints. That is why I value your friendship. We don't have to agree on every viewpoint. That is what makes us all unique. We have our OWN MINDS!!! I love that.
But now I'm going to worry that if I am open and honest about something, I will be asked to remove it. If I post Merry Christmas who will I be offending? Will I be asked to take it down? What about the motivational pics I find? I am not stealing them and using them for commercial puroposes. I am keeping them close so I can see them again and again. Am I going to be asked to remove them from my sight now too?
At least on this external sight, I still feel free to write, and post as I want to.
I am personally leaning towards blogging externally, and posting links to my blog sight here.
Any friends, feel free to follow my blogs, comment there, or here. I will still get the messages.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Today is a bit of an oddity.
I got dressed up this morning. I really wanted to remember what it feels like to get dressed up nice again. That and I ran out this morning to deliver a resume for a position here in town. I wanted to look nice when I walked into the place.
I have also been online with a friend from Calgary. He is hiring. I am interested. It pays more than here. It is also a chance to move back home to Calgary. Be with my kids again. Here's hoping...
Despite being dressed up, I am planning on going running today at lunch. I have my gym bag with me to change.
But my tummy hurts. I think I may have to give up chicken wings. I just can't seem to digest these deep fried foods anymore.
Yeah. I know. May seem funny, but it really isn't. I am actually in pain today. I have even taken pain killers.
It's frustrating. With my food allergies, I am discovering more and more foods I can't eat. I have completely cut pork out - I can't digest it anymore. Causes too much pain. Now chicken wings. Potato chips have been on that "list" to watch for a while too.
It just sucks. Sometimes we all want a little treat. I get it. Yes. It is changing my eating habits for the better. Forcing them to change though. That's the frustration. I wish I could choose. Occassionally enjoy a few wings. I only had 6 last night. And I'm in this much pain? Give me a break!
It is just frustrating me beyond belief. Everyone else in the world can treat themselves once in a while. Me? Not so much anymore. No wheat products of any kind. EVER. That means no pizza. Pasta. Breads. Cereals. My favorites!
Well, I've dealt with that. Now to have to give up a few more of my guilty pleasures! Give me a break already. Okay, so when I was eating wheat products, I couldn't eat potato chips. Didn't really miss them back then. I never ate wings. Thought they were too many calories for what? mostly skin and bone? forget it.
So why is it bothering me so much now? Guess something else has me stressed out. I'm just getting frustrated over the small things now.
Maybe this job offer in Calgary is a good thing. Just the change I've been needing for a while now. ..
and my new weight loss blog:
Well, I'm back from my run today. It didn't go as well as I'd hoped. I ran out for a mile. Then I ended up walking back to work. My lungs just felt too heavy. And I was chilled. Rather than make myself sicker, I just called it a day.
It's starting to look like I won't be able to get in a descent run before the 10K on Saturday. No biggie. My body seems to need the rest.
Now to find something to do tonight. Movie? Maybe. Don't really want to go alone though...
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