Friday, April 01, 2011
I have almost no motivation today. My body is tired. My mind is frustrated.
I have two choices. I can either sit and wallow in self pity, or I can use this blog to talk myself into a frenzy to get back on the wagon before I even fall off.
Funny how that came to mind. When I opened this blog, I was going to do the first. Just decide to take a day off, and wallow for a bit. Convince myself I deserved a bit of wallow time. That I earned a day off. Guess I was thinking of falling back down and sitting on my but's again
Nope. I've gotta find a way to get out of this. NOW!
I've worked so hard over these past two weeks, but especially this past week. I've had killer calorie burn days - sunday and wednesday. I pushed though a sore leg on Tuesday. I pushed yesterday and burned another 750+ calories even though my body was tired.
So why in the heck would I consider slowing down or even resting now? I know my body needs rest. That's not what I mean. I mean getting discouraged and taking a complete break from focusing on my goals and how to get there. I deserve better than that.
Yesterday I bought a pre-order copy of Jillian Michaels new book Unlimited. I emailed in the purchase order for a chance to win one of 3 training sessions with her. Just the thought that I might win a chance to meet her and even have her kick my butt... What an amazing thought.
I am looking at my pic of her as I type this blog. I have a pic of her standing in a gym, arms crossed, with the caption above saying "Thinking of making an excuse to get out of exercising today?" Below it says "THINK AGAIN!" Seeing this has helped push me forward when I want to sit on my but's. Her voice in my head has helped push me those extra steps when I'm out running and feeling so tired that I'm going to have to walk a bit and start my run all over again later.
I want to rock a sexy dance costume. Somewhere on a flash drive I have a folder full of images of dance costumes I like. I should maybe look for them today. This muffin top will NOT look good in any of those dresses, trust me.
The sun is shining today. It should be nice on my 3 mile run for lunch today. When I woke up, I was debating if I was going to do it today or not. Now there's no question. I'm going to go. Luckily I packed clean running gear in case I changed my mind and decided to go.
I guess there's some truth to the theory that if you take those small steps in the right direction, it will all work out. I just packed running clothes in case I was silly enough to change my mind. I brought my gym bag out of habit more than anything. Now here I am at work, gearing up for my run.
That hour is going to pass me by no matter what I do or don't do. Do I want to make the most of it? Weight loss is a long journey. Just pulling stuff out of the air, if I want to loose 2lbs per week I need to burn 7000 calories. I know it's not science, but as a general rule it works. I won't burn those calories by sitting here typing. And leaving it all til Friday and expecting to be able to do it is crazy. However, burning 1000 a day is do-able. Not easy, but do-able. And to loose my entire mountain, I will need to do this over and over and over. At least 4 months worth. Anything less, and forget it.
Besides, it's a 100 day challenge. You wanted to challenge yourself to see what you could do in 100 days of focusing. You are at day 16. Okay, that's just under 20%. Do you really want to feel you didn't give it your all for such a short period of time? I mean really! What good is a challenge if you can't give it your all.
You are not injured. You are just a little tired. Yes, you do have one slightly sore muscle. Maybe two. That core workout yesterday was a killer!!! Good for you for doing it. And you'll do it again tomorrow. Give those muscles time to rebuild, then kick butt again!
Imagine the looks you'll be getting at the end of this challenge! Be back into smaller jeans for sure. Maybe cut that muffin top in half. Even if I have trouble seeing the progress, others will be able to see it. Just like they'll see if I give up on myself.
Time to get my kick a$$ superhero out, and get her to kick my butt right out the door!
If you don't and you give up, you'll be back on the road to looking like this
I shudder just imagening that in my new bikini's
Oh, I almost forgot. I got a new bathing suit last night at Walmart. A dark purple bikini top, and a multi color bottom. The best part, I can mix and match the pieces with my other bikini I already have from last year
I have more of a muffin top than in this pic - I am 10lbs heavier now than when this was taken, but you get the idea.
I also have those two bikini's from Victoria Secret on their way here. I'm kind of excited. Who would have thought I'd like wearing bikini's so much? Now to get the killer body to ROCK them!!!
It's 10:15 already. I'm still not waking up really. I am still groggy. The plan is to change for my run in just over an hour, and go by 11:45. I guess I should have my banana and some more water. Maybe it'd be better to eat my asian pear would be better. Save my banana for after my run. Good carb count in the pear. And at least 6 more glasses of water. Then I'll have to be sure to take a potty break before I go running!
Just can't seem to shake this today.
Thanks for all the help. All my Spark Friends who have been sending me comments and goodies. All trying to help me snap out of it and find my motivation again.
Back from my run. Feeling great. I'm so glad I went. I am still pretty fatigued, but the fresh air felt great to run in. I am slowly peeling off the layers for running. Today was just a tank top and my running jacket. No fleese. No undershirt. No hoods, scarves, hats, etc. It was cool when I was resting, but great when I was running.
Only problem is it's supposed to snow again this weekend.
I am so beyond sick of snow.
It's time for spring.
Come on Spring! I've heard of a rain dance. What about a spring dance???
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Our BUT is that cushy excuse that we rest on when we
want to quit, when we believe that there s nothing more we can
do to resolve our challenges or accomplish our goals or fix
our mistakes. Does any of this sound familiar?
Sure, I d like to change, BUT . . .
I m too old/too young
I m too short/too tall
I m too fat/too skinny
I m not pretty/handsome enough
I m not smart enough
I m from a broken home
I have a learning disability
Our BUTS are huge. And the longer we sit on them, the
more they continue to grow!
Get off your BUT now and make it happen!
Some Folks can keep us on our BUT.
It s sad to think that people are often pressured to stay on
their BUTS by their own friends and family, but that s what
Why do some people feel the need to tear down others
when they see progress being made? Short answer: we don t
like to be left behind.
Why We Sit on Our BUTS
Most people sit on their BUTS for one of three reasons.
1. They truly believe that their BUT is holding them back.
They literally can t move.
2. Getting off their BUT is too big a risk. It s easier to be in
the unhappy state they re used to than to take the chance
to be happy. The thinking goes like this: you know that
if you don t study for the test, you are more than likely
to fail it; yet if you study hard, you still aren t guaranteed
an A. Some people would rather stay stuck on their
BUTS, addicted to the certainty of failure, than risk the
possibility of disappointment.
3. They re mired in a mixture of reasons 1 and 2. They re
partially hypnotized into believing that their BUT will
forever hold them back, plus they find it easier to keep
the status quo than to see what would happen if they
tried to change it.
Excerpts (is that right???) from the book
Get Off YOUR But
HOW TO END SELF-SABOTAGE AND STAND UP FOR YOUR SELF
Some of my BUT's:
but I'm too tired right now
but I can do it later when I feel better
but I worked hard yesterday...
but that looks SO good!
but why do I have to work so hard for such little results?
but I am too busy
but I deserve a break
but I'm going to maybe run later...
but does it really matter?
but am I really worth it? Or do I deserve this?
but being like this is just so much easier
but I'm sick of feeling like EVERYTHING in life is a struggle
but it's 40 below out there, with a wind chill on top of that!
but the snows too deep!
but I'm so cozy inside
but no one can bother me if I just close the doors and hide
but I don't want to alienate people around me.
but I just don't want to be here right now
but I'd prefer to wallow in self pity right now
Wow. I really have a long list of buts. Guess I'd better face reality. I need to deal with each and every one so I can move past them...
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Getting there. But the scale is not co-operating. I am struggling to keep my motivation up.
Yesterday I was having trouble with my one leg when I ran. I didn't know if it was all in my head, or if I was actually having some problems. So I set up a challenge, and after work started on it.
The challenge is outlined in yesterday's blog. I only made it to 800 calories yesterday. But that's not bad considering. I ran on the treadmill at the gym. Was running faster than I'm used to. Then out of no where that shooting pain came back. Had to jump off the treadmill. I was so frustrated. I had only burned 150 calories and here I had to stop my running.
Oh well. Moved on to upper body and core strength training. No biggie. Just try to keep HR up as high as possible. Finally, once I got to 200 calories I realized it was kind of a lost cause. I got on a recumbant bike and went to town. My leg was a little sore, but it could do this.
When I finally left the gym, I had burned 550 calories. Not bad, considering my bad leg.
But the deal still stands. If I want all 6 wings tonight, I've gotta work them into my calories for today, AND burn another 1200 calories today.
Not sure how my leg is doing. Will find out soon enough. Going for my morning run soon I hope...
I'm thinking of killing two birds with one stone. Kinda worried it'll kill me too though
I need to see my chiropractor today. I used the fitness map to track the mileage. It's 2.6 miles one way. Run there. Get treatment. Run back.
I can get there. I run 3miles to the restaurant for lunch most days. But I get a ride back. Mostly because I'm running short on time. This time, no ride back. I'd have the time. I have 1 1/2 hours for break today. Lunch, plus I got here a half hour early.
It would take care of my calorie burn for today - get me well on my way to burning those 1200 calories for tonight.
Okay. I'll admit it. I'm kind of scared. What if my leg is still injured? What if I just can't do it? I've got a long list of But's to sit back on.
I just read a great motivational book yesterday. Going to start to re-read it today. It's all about getting up off your but's and doing something!
Maybe this is my first one...
Okay. It's set. My appt is at 10:30. I have a backup in place in case. A co-worker of mine is willing to come and get me if my leg craps out on my on my run. So, I'm setting up a wicked workout, and have a back up plan in case I'm injured.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Yesterday was an ok day. Overall, I went over in my calories - about 250. I burned about 300 calories running. Didn't get to the gym, but I did go the day before...
Now back to pushing today. Run at lunch. Gym after work. I want to burn 1000 caloires today. Will give me a good push into Wednesday - run then badminton in the evening. As long as I get a chance to play, I easily burn 800 calories in a couple hours of playing.
Scale was ok to me again today. Back to 229. Nothing big to write home about.
Ate well. I did get really hungry mid afternoon yesterday. Not really surprising. I have been burning calories, but not getting in enough over the weekend. I had a single serving bag of trailmix - nuts and fruit. I started in planning to eat the whole thing, but found half was enough. It actually hit the spot and I was done. I still have half for another day. Good thing too. There are a lot of calories in a nuts and fruit trail mix. Good nutritious calories, but calories just the same.
This morning I took my pics for my challenge outfit. Boy they look bad. I also took some before pics of the tops I want to look great in again. I did just a few months ago. Now to take a few months to get back there...
I got an email from Canada Post today. One of my new bikini's is on it's way. I can't wait. It's the top one in yesterdays 100 Day Challenge blog. The bottom one is back ordered - should be available on April 15???
Anyhow, I have more than my share of goals right now. Need to put them out of my mind. I need to focus on what I can do today to get there.
Man, I've got killer heart burn again. Hate this. Finally caved and purchased tums yesterday. Did you know that Rolaids soft chews were recalled? I just found out yesterday when I sent my room mate to find me some. Hmmmm.
Anyhow, today's plan is to run at lunch. The to the gym right after work - strength training and core workout. Not sure what we'll do about supper yet, but grilled fish and chicken are looking better and better. Only problem, no fish left. Room mate is picky. He catches fish for me to cook. We need to go fishing again soon. He said he'll teach me to fish this year. We'll see. He can be a real a$$ at times, and this may be one of those times. Guess we'll find out.
My legs have a slight ache to them today. No pain really. Just a little ache. My body is a little tired too. Not a bad ache and tired. A good ache and tired. It means that although I sometimes feel like I'm not doing all I can, this ache tells me I am doing okay.
Now to get a new bum so those new "check out my bum" jeans look great on me
Oh. I almost forgot. I got a pair of compression sock to wear right after my workouts. Actually, I ordered them online. They are pink - breast cancer support. I am looking forward to getting them. And trying them out. I was reading today that runners often use them to help recover after running. It can't hurt, so why not try right? Here's the pic.
Kinda cute. Will do the job too. Plus I get another pair to run in. Won't likely use the running ones, as I already have special socks for running in - yes, I have issues there too. But can always use more socks.
Okay. I'm walking a thin line here. I went running for lunch. Cut it short. My Right leg hurts. Not searing pain, but pain. Running didn't make it any better. Stopped to stretch. Ran some more. Started hurting a little more, so I stopped running. Walked back.
My plan is to rest, stretch, and massage it. Going to the gym tonight. short run on treadmill before I do my weight training.
My thin line is accepting today's run as an okay workout. It all comes down to a single bottom line - better health/weight loss. Today's run is iffy. Doesn't contribute to weight loss. However, not hurting myself is better health.
How much of my leg pain is in my head though? It's not overwhelming pain. Maybe I should have pushed?
If I'm not careful, I will find myself back on the couch for the rest of this week, sitting on my butt and hoping for a positive feedback from the scale. What's wrong with me? Why do I find it so easy to find excuses? To not workout? I should KNOW by now, I feel physically and emotionally better if I push my workouts. I feel better for days and days.
Tomorrow night is wing night. Maybe I should try some tough love here. If I don't reach 1000 calories burned today, and 1000 tomorrow, no wings at all. No that won't work. Deprivation only makes it all worse. Last week I allowed myself 4 wings - fit them into my calories for the day.
Ok, If I meet my calorie burns, I will have 6 wings. If I get to only a combined 1500, I will have 5. Only 1000 - 4. 500 - 2.
I am already at 250 for today, so a combined total of 500 is not an issue. But it gives me a goal to push towards.
And regardless how many I "can" have, I will have to work them into my calories for the day. That most likely means no eggs for breakfast tomorrow unless I get up and make them myself - egg whites and mushrooms.
I think I'm going to do this. Really kick my own butt. I should be able to reach it. I will be playing badminton tomorrow evening. If I play a solid 1 1/2 hours, I burn 800 calories easy.
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