Monday, March 08, 2010
Well, I know I have been hit and miss for a long time. I am still watching what I eat. My fitness has fallen to the wayside, but I did get up early this morning and went running. Still travelling, so things are still unsettled. They unfortunately will stay unsettled for a long long time now.
Husband and I have decided it's time for me to move out. I am traveling because I do not want to be in the house anymore. I have been on the road since Feb 20 with a friend. I am going back home on Thursday for a job interview. I will be looking for a new place to call home when I get back to Calgary. I am thinking I might not stay in Calgary much longer. Opportunities have opened themselves up to me, and I might be willing to take one. I have the chance to move to a small town in Saskatchewan - about 1hour from Brandon MB. If I did this, I could work on my photography company, shoes and belt sales, and possibly become a dance instructor out there. I have always wanted to become a dance instructor. Maybe this is the chance to do just that. However, I would like to go to Worlds first and try to place in the top 5 before I become an instructor.
Anyhow, I do have some good news. Despite all this, I am happy. I really am happy where I am in life right now.
I have lots and lots of photos to post. I will post some once I edit and compress them. I have photos from the small town, a Harequin concert I was at a couple weeks ago, and a jam session I was watching just yesterday. My friend is a song writer, who plays all sorts of instruments. He is so passionate about music. You can see it when he plays. I want to show that kind of passion when I dance.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
I got on the scale this morning and it actually dipped to 195. I figure it is actually closer to about 197 - it's not digital. Well, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that the scale hit my original goal weight. I have since lowered it another 10lbs, but have been struggling so hard to just get here.
Time to celebrate. I am going to book a couple of nights away. I don't want to go alone, so I am waiting for a call back from a friend of mine. I want to invite him to come along - just as a friend. Yes, I do have a little more interest in him than just friends, but I don't think it will work out that way. We are such good friends right now though. I don't want to ruin that.
I am thinking of the best way to ask him. I called and left a message. I am excited to hear back from him - hopefully soon. In the meantime, I hope I don't chicken out. I am so excited at the thought of going away for a few days and relaxing in the hot springs.
Relaxing hot springs, road trip, beautiful scenery. I can't wait to go. I just hope I am not going alone. I guess I will find out later. Hopefully later today.
I need to keep one thing in mind. I have only picked up a couple of guys. Once it didn't work out, once I married him - so it also counts as not working out at this point. I really don't want that kind of "stuff" in my life again right now. I want someone who will treat me like a princess. I admit it. I am high maintenance. I am okay with that. I believe I am worth it. I am affectionate, and want someone who is okay with that. Someone who is okay with me being myself.
I want someone who will help me to discover who I am becoming. Things are changing for me. I am becoming a new person with new passions. I want someone I can feel safe with while I explore these and learn about myself.
I got a call back. I will have company for my time at Radium. I can't wait. Dates are still not finalized. That doesn't matter. It will be fairly soon.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
I have heard about this principle a few times. Part of me believes it, but I have not every tried it. Now is as good a time as any to give it a try. I have attracted something into my life, without even knowing it. Now I am thinking I want to try and direct it.
I want romance. Not lust. I want someone to sweep me off my feet. To make me feel like the most important person in the world to them. Someone who makes me believe that they feel lucky to have me notice them. Someone who not only wants me in their life, but are willing to work at it to keep me there.
I have had a lot of interest over the past few weeks. Some of it is interest I am not even willing to look at. However, some has really turned my head around. I am seeing a new side to me. I have felt so lost and empty for years now. I thought I had given up on romance. I actually had. I settled for someone who would not or would not do anything romantic for me ever. I thought I could do without romance, but I now know different.
I am looking to move out of the house with my kids. However, to do that I need to be working. Yes, I have a couple of big paycheques coming in, but they are committed to bills and other things I want to accomplish this year. I have already made one phone call today. I have a couple more I want to make tomorrow. I actually have some encouragement from the sidelines to go back into business for myself and work hard to get ahead again. I actually believe I might be able to accomplish this. I have more support than I thought. My son is even wanting me to get back into it and hire him back on. I know I can do it. I have done it in the past. I still have access to all the equipment. Maybe it is time to give it another shot.
Despite the events of yesterday, I am not destroyed. I thought I might be. Tonight I found out I am not the only one who lost my job. No one is really sure if the budget got cut and that's leading to some of it, or if it is just Wayne's way of dealing with the stress that is falling on his shoulders. He is firing people left, right, and center. 6 more today. I went yesterday. However, he told me that my position was being phased out. It was not a nasty thing like apparently happened today. John told me just how ugly it got today. He even got into it with Wayne. In the end, John is moving to Wapasu for a room that does not smell of sewage. They refuse to get him a new livable trailer without sewage problems. They told him to deal with it or go to Wapasu. He told them fine, going to Wapasu. Now instead of being on site for 24 hour on call, he will be over 45minutes away - 20min to warm up the vehicle, then a 25min drive to the camp. Smart a$$ he is, he tried to get himself fired today I think. It didn't work. Well, it didn't work yet anyhow. Who knows. Maybe things are in the works to get John replaced as I write this. I guess I will find out soon.
My son is hoping I get a business back up and running. He is worried the company he is working for is going to be going under soon. He wants to work now. I can't believe how much he is turning himself around. I told him if he works as hard as I know he can, I would hire him on as a supervisor for the company.
I am looking forward to tomorrow. I want to make some phone calls. I also want to get myself organized and back on track. I also want to get back on track with my dance lessons. Maybe get into the WCS boot camp lessons.
It is now 1:30am. time for me to get offline and try to get some rest. Tomorrow I should go and buy a new bed. I really need one. Good night everyone.
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