Sunday, July 22, 2012
I mean seriously.
My challenge - to eat 6x/day. 3 meals and 3 snacks.
I just can't seem to do it. It's not that I'm not hungry and wanting to snack. It's just I can't seem to do it.
I go to the fridge. I come away with nothing.
Because of my food restrictions right now, it's hard to find things. But almost all fruits and vegetables are fair game. I have about 8 pieces of fruit in the fridge as I am writing this.
But I don't want them.
What is my problem? I like fruit. But I look at them. I decide I don't want them. Can't figure out what I do want. So I close the fridge and decide to wait. Right now it's because it's almost time to start to cook supper.
So what. If I got up and started cooking now, it'll still be about an hour to supper. It's not like a piece of fruit will ruin my meal.
I get that it's not chocolate, or pasta, or some rich heavy snack. I can't eat chocolate. I really should take it easy on the pasta, because in a few weeks I won't be able to have much of it for a while.
I know I'm just plain angry.
I'm angry that I am so hungry. I'm angry that it's so much more work to feed myself. I'm angry that anyone else can just walk into the grocery store and pick something up. Heck, they can walk into a fast food place and get something to eat. Not me. Between food allergies, and food allergy testing/restrictive cleansing diet for the testing, I can't.
I'm also finding I may not ever go back to some things. I won't eat anything that has citric acid on the label anymore. I think that's what contaminated me over the past year and had me getting sick again.
I still can't eat excessive fat. Deep fried foods, yuck! My body rebels against it.
Sugar - FORGET IT! After what happened a couple of days ago when I tried to have a "treat", no way.
But that's the hardest one to cope with. Do you have any idea how many things have sugar in them? At least I'm learning how to make home made ice cream, my own version of prego, BBQ sauces, fruit syrups and fillings , etc. But seriously. It's a lot of hard work.
Right now I have 12 - 500ml jars of fruit sauces. 4 cherry. 4 blackberry. 4 raspberry.
Wait a minute. I'm not on a strict cleansing diet for the next few weeks. I can add some of this fruit to cottage cheese. That will be so yummy!
At least I have one more snack idea.