Wednesday, July 04, 2012
I really have no motivation today. I just blogged about Tammy/Terry again. They are weighing heavily on my heart and my mind today. It's been a full week since I heard from Terry, longer for Tammy. But this is all for another blog.
Right now, I need to find my motivation to get dressed and get out there and run. Yesterday I was 2minutes short of completing C25K Week2Day3. Today is the day to do this. It's early enough that the heat of the day hasn't hit.
I want a fit, healthy body. I need to go after it. What I've been doing hasn't gotten me there. I know the scale is not moving right now. I'm not sure why, and yes, it's frustrating.
But I went through this last year. Eventually I gave up out of frustration. Here I am a year later and still at the same weight, and in even worse shape than I was then.
Time to do something different.
Honestly, I will thank myself for pushing and getting out there. I won't thank myself for letting me wallow in these issues all day and letting this time pass me by.
I am trying so hard to not give up. I don't understand why I'm stuck like this. I know emotional crap can sometimes block my ability to loose weight. I've been trying to deal with it, but it's not working. I'm still not loosing weight.
Oh wow. I just had a thought, and I'm not sure if I'm excited about it, or upset. I need to put it out of my thoughts and focus on what I need to do for me. To hell with doing for everyone else around me. Time to do for me.
Time for me to go have breakfast, then get dressed and go running. I will be able to sort out some of these thoughts on the road. I know I will .
I got dressed, and went out to run. I didn't even make it half way, and stopped. I just had too much on my mind. So instead I walked home. Just thought about all this crap rolling around in my head.
It's better now. I may get dressed and try again later today after the heat passes. Or I might just make it an easy day today. Either way, I'm okay with it.