BLUE42DOWN   70,163
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BLUE42DOWN's Recent Blog Entries

WTB 5k Walk maintenance program =P

Saturday, October 22, 2011

The Oktoberfest 5k was last weekend. The virtual race I have scheduled for next Saturday (5 Nov). But as of today and a 4 mile walk, I've finished the 5k Your Way Training Program and gotten the trophy.

Which left me looking for a maintenance program. Er ... hmmm ... couch to 5k, nope. 5k your way, nope. Walk and jog? Oh, heck no, I want to keep walking, not bounce and jar myself.

O_o Is there really no ongoing "keep in shape for further 5k walks" program? Guess I have to set something up for myself in my Other Goals.

( If someone knows better than I do and I'm just looking in the wrong place, please speak up. I'm wrong plenty. I won't be sorry to be wrong about this.)

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BLUE42DOWN 10/26/2011 2:22AM

    =P Commenting on my own blog, I know. Silly.

Tried posting on Fitness message board asking if there was one. Simple answer, no. It was recommended I look for walking SparkTeams. I've looked through all the ones I could find and none really had the information I wanted nor did they have challenges that would focus on what I'm trying to do. =/

So, I have found this:


It's a longer program than the SparkPeople one, BUT the last few weeks listed are pretty much the recipe toward what I want to do. Now I just need to figure out how to set them up as Other Goals. (Or ponder starting a SparkTeam specifically ... even if it's empty for now besides me. =P)

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Seeing is Achieving

Saturday, October 22, 2011

That's one of the goals I'm tracking for one of my Spark Teams. I'm finding it both easy and hard.

I have an various mental ideas of me at weights I'd like to be back at. I have a concept of things I'd like to be doing and how it would feel to do them without worrying about the excess fat being in the way. For example, I'd love to spend a summer with a season pass going to the amusement park and riding the roller coasters without the restraints squeezing or pinching in spots. Again based on me in the past.

But I really have trouble truly envisioning myself forward. I don't look like I did then. My hair is darker brown with gray in it. That's not going away. I've had three children. Even if I lose every pound, I'm not likely to go back to a cup size I wore in middle school or high school. Nor would the clothes I preferred then be appropriate now.

On top of that, I don't have a clear goal for anything really. Certainly I want my debts paid off and I'm moving well along on that project. I want the weight off and here I am starting that project. I want several other things, each either started or pending something else.

But they don't really add up to some cohesive total. They're scattered pieces without purpose other than being goals to achieve.

Part of the problem is the one project I don't know what to do with - emotional baggage from my one failed marriage (a piece of the eat until no guys will approach me idiocy). I may have decided that is not a good reason - that saying no is just as effective and better for my health. But I haven't addressed those issues (trust is foremost, value to others is somewhere in there) and so I evade looking too closely at what the future might bring.

Maybe that's the problem. I'm not "SEEING" a future in which I'm more than just fit and financially stable. Worse, I see me ACHIEVING a specific result, but I don't see living with that result as having more benefit than being healthier. Time to dig into that one.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALWAYSOWNIT 10/22/2011 11:32AM

    I hear ya..Same for me..In my case,I dont remember ever being at my ideal weight..I was always overweight for my age..the worst is I dont have any picture of my thin phase because I thought i looked fat then and avoided taking pictures like hell..Now,even if I try,I cannot visualize myself thin in my mind too :(

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SLENDERCLAIRE 10/22/2011 6:11AM

    What an honest blog. It can be really hard to focus - I know I'm bad at visualising things too: building projects, decorating, or my figure.

But I found that as I concentrated on Sparking, (I lost 30 pounds in my first year and achieved goal weight) I became more organised and focussed in many areas of my life, and gained confidence. And at the end, when people started to tell me that I looked good, it felt great and I really knew I had achieved.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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A Glimpse at What I mean by Excesses

Friday, October 21, 2011

I've said before that I had to actively work to keep and add weight. Just to give a peek at what a typical day / week of meals were like:

Starbuck's Tall Hot Chocolate w/ Whip
Two pastries - usually Glazed Old Fashioned, Apple Fritter, Apple Bran Muffin, and/or Blueberry Muffin

If someone brought free munchies, as many as I could take or as large a piece as I could get
Or 2 King-size candy bars from gas station store across the street
Pack of gum - usually finished off in a day

Subway footlong - no skimping on toppings, 3 Double Chocolate cookies, Chips if I craved salt (not as common)
Super Burrito, Super Nachos, other Mexican dishes - all easily 3-4 servings if not more

Chocolate Milk - 1% milk, very generous on chocolate powder, filled a jar so about 18 oz

Another Chocolate Milk - 1% milk, very generous on chocolate powder, filled a jar so about 18 oz

Entire Rice-a-Roni or Pasta-Roni or Hamburger Helper makings (unless daughter wanted half)
Sometimes added can of tuna and frozen peas/carrots to Pasta-Roni

Can of tuna, few tbsp of mayo, squirts of mustard, stirred up and either Tuna Melt under broiler on two slices of multi-grain bread or shredded cheddar mixed in and microwaved (same as Tuna Melt minus bread)
Out to eat if I had spare money - more Subway, double whopper / Big Mac w/ fries and shake

Bowl of ice cream (probably 2-3 cups)
Chocolate syrup if I had it
Truffles or other chocolate if I'd bought that
Half or entire bag of Chips Ahoy or Oreos
Cookie dough (why bother cooking it ...)

Sometimes weekends were almost no solid food and just refilling that jar of chocolate milk. Sometimes I'd pick up Triscuits or Wheat Thins and eat huge amounts with cheese pieces. Sometimes I'd buy pre-made salads such as Caesar's and eat the whole bag's worth (2-2.5 servings).

There were the odd days in there where I had one glass (in the 18 oz range) of milk and nothing else but water. But the above is a more accurate picture of what I ate the majority of days.

^_^;; I should actually run one of those through the menu planner some day just to see what sort of calorie surplus I was living at.


The Strength of our Beliefs

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Now, this isn't something I normally come right out and admit to people. But in the process of trying to figure out one thing semi-related, the more I realized how important belief is.

I am not Christian. I am not any particular religion. I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness (they are Christian, even if they are quite different from the more classical versions). My children were raised Jewish (eldest, whom I gave up for adoption) and Catholic (I took them, I went through their whole baptism and communion, for my mother-in-law). One of the two raised Catholic is now an atheist, the other sings and is active in a youth choir.

On a technicality, I am probably also considered an atheist, but I consider that inaccurate. I don't believe in God, but I do believe there's a whole lot more to our universe and world than what pure science can measure. At the closest description, I believe in each of use being unique spiritual beings who use, live in, control, and experience through bodies. Somewhat New Agey, I suppose.

So, the thing I was trying to figure out -

I go to other's SparkPages. Sometimes in their comment or their blog they mention how much they are struggling. I have no problem looking at past blogs or the groups they've joined, seeing that they've professed a faith in some way - and recommending that they include asking their God or animal spirit or Earth Mother or whatever form it takes for assistance on their path.

Sometimes I feel like I have to explain myself. How can I be there, telling them to "ask Him to lend a hand", when to me it's just a word?

Because it is a belief. And my strongest belief is in our own power as beings - what we believe has immense power in our lives.

God IS real to that person. My beliefs don't matter. The beliefs of the man or woman who prays or performs a ritual do.

People have gotten well in seemingly miraculous ways. We test almost all drugs with control groups who get placebos, and there are nearly always at least a few who feel better or improve.

A strong enough belief in something has great power.

Sounds like we could believe ourselves skinny or healthy, right?

BUT, what that led me to realize is how often we can actually believe conflicting things. We start off a new week looking at the fitness page and the nutrition page and this week we're going to do it. Yessiree, Bob, we BELIEVE!

Then we take twice as many of one food than we should or skip a day of exercise. What happened? Dig down deep and we just might find that even stronger than we believed we could do it, we believed we would fail. We believed we don't have what it takes. We believed we aren't strong enough. We believed the inner voices that said we'd never really stick to it were right.

In order for our beliefs to have power, they can't be pushing in opposite directions. Before our belief that we can do it this time can win out, we have to identify and address the reasons we believe we can't. We have to prove those beliefs wrong to ourselves and let go of them. (Definitely not easy. Letting go of something we believe, even if it's the inner child telling us Santa is real, is TOUGH.)

Sometimes we can just modify them - instead of a blanket belief we arent's strong enough, we can acknowledge we aren't physically strong, but we are strong enough mentally and emotionally. From that, we can believe that our fitness will make us physically stronger, while also believing we can stick to the program - and both beliefs can work together to help us move forward.

Ending off with a Belief quote that is fitting:

Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning. - Mahatma Gandhi

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POETLKNG2LOSE 10/20/2011 8:01PM

    I am a Christian too and I don't always agree with everything that some of them are saying cause it conflicts with what i read in the bible. And as humans we are not infallible. We tend to do stupid things and sometimes end up hurting people we should be helping. I am not perfect and at times my faith is weak but i still hold on. . And yes it's what's deep inside of ourselves that controls us and causes havoc with what we believe. I am a prime example of that. My daughter would say that I am a pessimist at times. And i know that I have got to believe in myself that i can change and be different than I am. I have to like myself God can't make me do that only I can.

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SABLENESS 10/20/2011 3:58PM

    Thanks for visiting my blog WHAT DOES YOUR HEART SAY?

Like your blog. There are many ways to name that within ourselves as spiritual. If someone were to ask, I'd say yes, I am a Christian; I was raised in that tradition and am most at home in it, though not with everything that carries that label. An early Quaker said, "there is that of God within every man," referring to divine inner light, inner insight, inner spiritual being in everyone. I'm not into defining things, putting stuff in neat theological boxes, or judging others accordingly. If you visit my blog again, no need to apologize or explain anything. You have a beautiful creed, if I may call it that.

I wonder what Ghandi would think of India today. I love his words, Be the change you wish to see in the world."

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Why I lean away from diet foods

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

So without really paying attention, a few items I picked up in groceries this past weekend are what I categorize as "diet foods". One was breakfast sandwiches. I thought I grabbed normal egg, muffin, cheese, canadian bacon style - but had managed to grab the (Light*) box. I also picked up a couple of pasta meals to try out without noticing they were a Weight Watchers brand.

Sounds like I should be eating better, yes? Well, yes and no.

I had to make myself finish the breakfast sandwich. By halfway through, the flavors had lost any appeal. I do not like egg white only. I've tried it in the past. That's what this sandwich had. It also had a pretty drab muffin with a chewy texture, the tiniest possible piece of cheese. Basically, halfway through the taste wasn't what I wanted, and finishing wasn't satisfying except in feeling full.

I made the pasta meal more satisfying by toasting a slice of bread and buttering it. Otherwise the sauce was just not quite there. The chunks of tomato were the most memorable part.

"Diet foods" may very well work wonders for some people.

Not me. I'm far too flavor and texture oriented. These make me go back to scarfing (eating fast) just to finish it because I needed to eat and not because I'm thoroughly enjoying my meal.

So, yeah, not doing that again.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DONNARAEJ 10/19/2011 12:21PM

    The more whole foods I eat, the less I like the processed stuff. I think the suggestion to shop the perimeter of the supermarket is a really good idea. I buy a few canned and frozen things, but I am trying to add more and more fruits and vegetables into my day. I used to go days without eating one fresh thing and it just seems unimaginable today. If I am having a day where I am thinking about some kind of processed thing I make a smoothie with a few servings of fruits and vegetables which always leaves me feeling better and without the attraction to the other "stuff".

I also have trouble getting enough carbs and protein. Never trouble getting enough fat! I am working on this and making better choices at the grocery store.

Thanks for the opportunity to share. emoticon

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REALLY_ROBIN 10/19/2011 12:21PM

  I say small changes, over time, make the biggest results. 51 pounds says I'm right! I eat chocolate, butter, regular mayo...etc. If you like what you eat you will be satisfied with less. I say you are on the right track!

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LORILEEPAGE 10/19/2011 10:23AM

    Yeah, I got some low carb tortillas and the texture isn't very appetizing. Besides, I sometimes have a hard time eating enough carbs, so why did I buy them? They are lower in calories! Not worth it! Glad you figured out that you have a strong preference!

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ALWAYSOWNIT 10/19/2011 3:07AM

    I am struggling with scarfing ..I wish i knew how to take care of it ..i almost always forget to eat my food slowly..growing up..I considered eating fast as one of my strenghts..i was like.." why to waste tme eating ,when you can do better things?" What a fool I that sense I still am !!

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    sounds like you know what works for you and thats great

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