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That old bloated feeling (TMI Warning =P)

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

TMI warning: You have been warned.

So I'd felt tired and bloated yesterday. It wasn't even about however much I weighed in at. I just felt

I blamed it on my weekend water drinking - which was poor in the first half of each day, then all 8-9 glasses in the latter half. I also figured my salt intake was high (I know it is ... almost daily, but for now it's the least of my worries).

Turns out I was wrong. Ye olde attack of the TOM decided that 5 days early was a good idea. O_o *mutter mutter* I shouldn't complain, really. My cycle has always leaned more to the 30-31 days, a full month apart, rather than the more common 28 days.

Most of the time you'll never hear me say much about it. I could say I'm lucky in having an extremely high pain tolerance combined with not much more than heavy cramps and lower back aching.


And by high pain tolerance ... when I was in labor with my first daughter, I was cracking jokes with the nurse at the admission desk between contractions. She figured it was my first, it was probably false labor (at 2 weeks late?). My mother who was with me was insistent she time them and finally she put some machine on to measure the strength of the contraction. *snicker* Boy did she move into action after the next couple. I had my daughter about an hour later - no drugs, nothing more than ice chips and chatting away between grunting at contractions.

Second and third weren't much different - other than having to send the ex looking for the nurse because I was trying very hard not to push (water had broken an hour before at home, we'd been in the hospital room for maybe 15 minutes). Sure enough, fully dilated, baby in less than half an hour.

(Hey, at least I had mine in the hospital and the biggest was only 8 lb 15 oz. My mom had 9 total, 6 at home, the biggest 11 pounds. We were all big in the 8 lb - 9 lb range, but he was a whopper. Long, to be tall like his dad.)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MADYZ360 11/2/2011 10:15AM

    Wow! I always think when i get my period that if the pain is gonna be even close to this (which I hear is even worse) that I dont want to be pushing no baby out of me! I always hate when my period comes, but then again when I get it im glad i have it and can get it done with! :)

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ALWAYSOWNIT 11/2/2011 1:32AM

    Oh girl..I feel it..Unfortunately my pain tolerance is on the other end of your spectrum..I dont handle pain very wonder I took epidural..

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ALWAYSOWNIT 11/2/2011 1:31AM

    Oh girl..I feel it..Unfortunately my pain tolerance is on the other end of your spectrum..I dont handle pain very wonder I took epidural..

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Excited for best friend

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Bestest friend ever isn't here on SparkPeople, but I think all my talk of walking lit a little fire and he's got himself a pedometer and aiming for 10,000 steps a day as his goal. He'll get to jogging, maybe even running, where I won't - but it makes me smile.

Now I just need to replace my broken bluetooth headset, because texting and walking fast don't go together well, nor does holding a phone to my ear. =P

So I'm super excited for him and threatening to keep nipping at his heels to keep both of us motivated.


Realized with my walk tonight that I'm managing a comfortable 17 minute mile when I'm not even thinking about pushing my speed, so I've got a good feeling about hitting 48 minutes for my 5k. I don't want to overpush early in the week, though, just to see if I can.

The usual reminder here!!! Do NOT feel bad if you can't walk as fast or as far. Do NOT judge yourself against others. If you can walk more today than you could a month ago, you're doing GREAT! If you can walk faster than you could a month ago, you're doing EXCELLENT!

Me? I've been a fast walker all my life - long legs help. I have also walked ridiculously long distances just to get places. Just to give one example ... at around 19-20 years old, I was stuck outside a particular mall after the last bus stopped running. Wearing heels, I set off for home. Ten miles later, I took off the heels and stockings and kept walking. Total distance was around 12.25 miles and I remember making it in just under 4 hours.

And as I've mentioned before, I never stopped walking. Before moving recently, I walked to work (15 minute brisk walk) and home. I also walked to the local drug store for simple groceries (another 15 minute brisk walk, heavy bags heading home) or to a more distant grocery store that was a 2.5 hour round trip all on foot.

I also used to go hiking when I had a car (up to about 5 or 6 years ago) - either a couple mile trail up in Alum Rock Park or out in the Big Basin area.

So I'm no stranger to walking, even with 80 pounds of fat on me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAHCANNON 11/1/2011 9:40AM

    Yay! It's so fun that your bestie is joining in! Way to be a Spark. ;)

And I love all the walking you do - inspiring to me. I need to get back on the treadmill this week, now that we're home from vacation.

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October's goals DONE and making November's goals

Monday, October 31, 2011

Pulling these off my main page and putting them here. This seems like a better way to keep long-term track.

== OCTOBER 2011 GOALS ==

1) My fourth week of the 5k walk training program will end right as the Campbell Oktoberfest 5k hits, so I will register and attend. GOAL: Complete the 5k, stretch properly after, and have enough energy to enjoy the festivities.

- DONE - Completed in 50:52, better than I expected and my goal for the Trick or Treat Trot is to trim a couple minutes off.

2) Weight loss. Yes, healthy eating and fitness are more important, but bouncing around just under 250 for months isn't good. GOAL: 240 or lower by end of October. (Edited goal as weight as of 30 Sept is bouncing 244-244.5)

- DONE - Bouncing between 236.5 and 237 the last few days, so this I can safely call complete.

3) Nutrition. I've narrowed down menu planners to two. One has a 30-day trial. GOAL: Use the menu planner trial for the full 30 day trial and decide by the end of October whether I'm buying that one or the other.

- DONE - Purchased Living Cookbook, though I'm still hit and miss using it. I can only use it on one computer and it's double entry for quite a few things with the tracker here, but as I get more and more entered, it gets easier. I have planned a whole day's menu based on what I have.

4) I hate when people notice I'm making changes or losing weight. It's made me stop in the past. GOAL: Accept the comments (if any come) and gracefully thank the observer without quitting.

- DONE - The most recent was someone I passed at a light saying "You're looking good" and then trying to segue into asking if I'd take him home. -___- Yes, this is exactly why I 'went invisible' to begin with, but I've managed to successfully disconnect that from weight. (Not that I've handled my issues and baggage in that area - just that hiding behind weight is being proven unworkable, so I'm not rushing to hide that way again.)


All in all a good month.

I am definitely running high on my salt intake and will need to start monitoring that more in the future, but that's unsurprising given the current level of pre-packaged meals I'm eating. As it's not a health risk yet, I'm leaving that to later stages to work on - notably when I move again and have a kitchen of my own.

Bestest friend picked up a pedometer this weekend and is getting started on his own walking (eventually to jog) program doing 10,000 steps, so that makes me happy and gives me even more reason to keep up my own walking.


Wandering the streets of San Jose

Sunday, October 30, 2011

This morning as I set off on a couple of errands (books back to library, new ones checked out, hair trimmed), I discovered it was an absolutely beautiful day out. Warm enough for a thin shirt and shorts, and so once I'd stopped home briefly, I grabbed my camera and set out again to wander around San Jose.

The first shot I took was from the bus a couple stops before I planned to get off, but I couldn't resist trying to get them:

I hope they're visible there. The front blue one is a shark, the orange to the right is a Jack O'lantern, and the one behind that's hard to see is a horse with saddle and cowboy riding.

Happy Howl'o'ween?

I had mentioned the too urban section of the Guadalupe River Park trail in another blog. Here's a couple pictures along it:

It's not actually all as cemented as that. Turns out that is mostly in the depths of downtown and it becomes this, but the trail ends and moves up higher and more away from the nature:

You can see those pictures better and more from my wanderings if you want in my Google+ album:

And that didn't even count as my cardio for the day. On top of all that, I headed out to the Los Gatos Creek Trail and got in 2.25 miles in 39 minutes. Ah, good day!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TABBYJO88 10/30/2011 8:17PM

    I love the outdoors. and it sounds like you had a good walk.

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ACURVYLADY 10/30/2011 7:24PM

    I was downtown yesterday doing the making strides breast cancer walk. it was a beautiful day. Great pics : )

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REALLY_ROBIN 10/30/2011 9:34AM

  Wow, you doubled your mileage from before...that's awesome!

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ALWAYSOWNIT 10/30/2011 1:26AM live so near to me..I am in Fremont..those are some beatiful pictures :)

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Positive vs Negative, Optimistic vs Pessimistic

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Two completely unrelated blog entries I've read in the last couple of days, well unrelated in terms of the SparkPeople not being connected, made me think on the whole "glass half empty, glass half full" concept.

One blog was someone honestly thinking that not enough people posted about the negative, that it felt like doing so would drive your friends away Facebook style. The other blog was someone who received a Spark Mail with the nerve to tell her she was being too happy and positive.

Now, I read a LOT of blogs here. I am not a blog reader elsewhere. Here ... I like the opportunity to try to help others with tidbits of information and links that I remember and words of encouragement. How do any of us feel when we write a blog about something interesting to us, something important, a worry or a success ... and then get 0 comments on it? For some, it's a shrug and a new blog. For others it can be worse, a reminder that they are "invisible" or whatever the negative voices in their heads tell them is why no one cares what they write.

I comment as often as I can because we SHOULD care about each other, progress or regression, success or failure, adventure, disability, pain, courage, all of human experience. If the social side wasn't important, I'd be spread-sheeting the numbers without it.

Anyway, that was a little sidetrack there. Point being that I read enough that in a month and a half almost, I've seen an amazing cross-section of positive and negative, of optimistic and pessimistic.

Now, that age-old question of whether we see the glass as half-empty or half-full? I have always been of the belief that's like trying to decide if Schrödinger's cat is alive or dead. It's a changing stage. If I'm drinking out of the glass, it will become empty soon. If I'm pouring into the glass, it will be full soon. If it's sitting forgotten in a room, the contents are likely to evaporate over time. If it's sitting outside in pouring rain, it will be more full than empty before the rain is done, if it hasn't spilled over. And so on.

Life isn't measured in a single instance of glorious beauty and perfection or horrific pain and ugliness. It is a broad experience of every emotion, every sensation possible. It's not a philosophical glass at a static condition. It's a glass that fills and empties repeatedly, not always with the same contents.

Back to blogs.

Negative events occur. That's unavoidable. Death and loss occur, injury and aging occur, relationships founder and collapse, willpower falters, habits are lost. And blogging about those is often cathartic. Responses can give us ideas of where to seek assistance or resources or remind us that we're not alone against the world.

Positive events occur. That's probably equally unavoidable. Children are born, injuries heal, relationships begin and seem amazing, willpower is steadfast, habits are gained. Blogging about those is a fine reminder that it IS possible. Responses can help us properly celebrate and remember the positive and cheer us on, some even bringing up those positive events when future hard times come up.

BUT, the attitude of the blogger is not necessarily the same as the event.

One person caves and eats way over their calorie limit for the day. They blog about it in a self-hating manner, sure it proves they'll never really succeed, they're just fooling themselves, on and on with the negativity.

Another person caves and eats way over their calorie limit, and before they've even blogged, they've planned out how to eat less the coming week, burn a bit extra, forgiven themselves, and investigated how the situation occurred. They might be asking how to avoid it in the future or explaining their plan. Even with the negative event, they are overwhelmingly positive and sure they'll succeed.

Scarily, the negative attitude can even come through on the positive events, though its usually not as obvious. That's the person announcing how they've lost a few pounds, then amending that with all the reasons it probably is just water loss, scale messing up, whatnot, so they don't want to get excited. Or just the person who meets a few goals and fails at one, and puts more attention on the one than the rest.

So, returning to the two blogs.

Related to the first is the concept of writing about negative events ... I read plenty of blogs about negative events. I don't tend to stick around in blogs by those with negative mindsets. Huge difference. The way to lose "friends" isn't by writing about the negative events. It's by taking the negative attitude toward any event, negative or positive.

As to the second, the writer of that SparkMail has forgotten the old wisdom: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. If they want negative posts, they merely need to close that tab and go looking.

Sure, we can get too Pollyanna sometimes. Especially when a sequence of positive events occur, weight lost, inches lost, muscles gained, successful planning, avoiding known pitfalls. We can start thinking nothing will go wrong. There is an extreme there. Or we can seem unreal to those who read our words because we never struggle, we never fight bad habits.

(And I do apologize if I seem that way sometimes. Food is far less my issue, so I don't have battles with cravings or binges - and it can leave me looking like I'm just not admitting to problems.)

Ultimately, we each decide the tone and the content of our blogs. It is no one else's place to say we should be more positive or more negative, or should write less about postive events or less about negative events. OUR responsibility lies in deciding whether to continue reading someone's blog or whether to subscribe to it. There is no need to write someone to make sure they know their blog isn't good enough by our standards or to say we won't read their blog. That's just being nasty and petty.

Carry on, Spark bloggers.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRAVLNWOMAN 11/8/2011 9:32PM

    You are so right on the money! I hope this blog gets a popular blog award because I think you have a message everyone needs to hear.

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    Well said!

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ELLIE-1220 10/29/2011 6:51PM


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TABBYJO88 10/29/2011 5:45PM

    Very well said. I really like this blog and think everyone should read it.

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SHELL- 10/29/2011 8:39AM

    This spoke to me personally I quote your blog "Ultimately, we each decide the tone and the content of our blogs. It is no one else's place to say we should be more positive or more negative, or should write less about positive events or less about negative events. OUR responsibility lies in deciding whether to continue reading someone's blog or whether to subscribe to it. There is no need to write someone to make sure they know their blog isn't good enough by our standards or to say we won't read their blog. That's just being nasty and petty. " You are absolutely right and having made that mistake it won't be repeated. This was a hard blog to read as I have been struggling with something I did this week. In my effort to be what I thought at the time was helpful, I actually was being judgemental. I do strive to be supportive, putting a great deal of energy into it actually but I really screwed up that time. I'm human too and I sometimes make some big mistakes and that one won't be repeated. Great blog!

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ALWAYSOWNIT 10/29/2011 4:24AM

    I hear yaa.. every time I used to write something..a thought would always be at the back of my mind .. what others are going to think about me...will they think I am weak.. or that I cannot handle things... then it hit me.. these blogs are for no one but me.... then why don't I journal in private.. someone may ask.. its because..I really want someone to read it and know if they are struggling,they are not alone... we all are fighting our own little wars.. and as theturtlebear mentioned in one of her old blogs.. there is some power in reaching out.. putting those words in universe is a powerful way to connect with like minded people ..having a friend just make it little easier ..!!

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BSEANACAIN 10/29/2011 1:18AM

    well said emoticon

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ALLPROTAMMY 10/29/2011 1:15AM

    Very well put Blue.

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