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I hate cravings....

Thursday, August 28, 2014

I do. I hate them. They are awful. I do everything I can think of to stop them in their tracks. When I get a craving I feel jittery and stressed until I just give up and eat whatever it is I think I'm craving. Then more often then not that doesn't satisfy it so I eat something else. The first day of the month that I start getting cravings are the worst for me because it takes me some time to notice that I'm having a craving. That my friends is why it is so important not to just give up after eating badly. My body can handle one day of eating badly. Especially if it means I learn a lesson that day. Granted I relearn the lesson every month at least once, but now that I know my cravings have started (I know they will last about a week) I can control them better. Why? Well simple. The first day they sneak up on me. Now they can't do that. So now I can have a game plan for not giving in to my cravings. Sounds silly to need a plan but it really helps me. So yes, last night after having eaten out (without making healthy choices) for lunch AND supper yesterday I proceeded to eat corn on the cob (butter and salt thank you very much), 2 spoonfuls of peanut butter and marshmallow fluff, AND the whopper? At 10 pm a can of tomato soup. I am a fool for tomato soup, especially with chunks of tomato in it. Oh dear. Well, today is a new day and honestly this isn't completely unexpected since it happens once a month.

Hopefully you can identify your craving problem when it starts and not wait until you feel bloated from eating everything you can get your hands on. But if you don't, carry on. It isn't the end of the world. It's a first world problem.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ARUNNINGKAT 8/28/2014 12:20PM

    Cravings can be tricky.... so hard to get rid of and so easy to come up with.

You are right! Today is a new day, full of promise and opportunity!

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SOAPNUT 8/28/2014 11:50AM

    I know what you mean.
Bad me craves sweet things sometimes and if I can get away with just a bit of something sweet like a few Jelly Belly Beans, I'm good. Doesn't always work though.


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GAYLLYNNE 8/28/2014 9:51AM

    I know just how you feel. They just seem to take over sometimes and we feel helpless. Give in, we feel guilty. Bleech....hang on, together we can do this!!

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FORZACHANDMATT 8/28/2014 8:57AM

    I hate them too

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MISSMUFFETT101 8/28/2014 8:32AM

    I feel your pain. I quit smoking two years ago, and could not give up the idea of putting something in my mouth. my kick was peanut butter and chocolate chips - just melted slightly to make a peanut butter cup! I told myself - "that's it" - and now any time I have a craving, I run for a glass of water, brush my teeth, then have another glass of water. Breath deeply for a few minutes and sometimes they actually pass! Good luck my dear.

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Skipping cardio...

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Ack. Dumb dumb dumb. I've skipped several days of cardio. I didn't realize it had been so many until today when I edited my Spark page to reflect it. If I'm going to skip a day of cardio at the very least I need to remember to get on and log 0 miles. That way I'm confronted with my activity instead of living in denial.

I am not going to beat myself up over this because I have learned that is not productive for me. I don't respond well to that so no sense in wasting my time.

I have a conference coming up in September for work. It's a Diabetes education training workshop. I'm very excited about it. Unfortunately it means I have to leave my family Sunday evening. Boo. I hate being away from my hubby and son. Especially if it means I am going to be by myself. I'm excited for the opportunity and I'm ready to spend an evening or two poolside with a glass of wine. If I can manage to save a little money by then I can even do some shopping at the outlet mall there. Maybe a little early Christmas shopping....

Anyway, have a wonderful day. Tonight I will ride my bike for 25 minutes and maybe I'll throw in some planks just for fun.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THINNERME2009 8/26/2014 10:01PM

    Hop back up on that horse (aka your bike) and realize, life does happen and it is hard to always fit everything else in. If it was easy then no one would be going through the issues that we are. Be strong and you can do it. emoticon

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HOPEFULHIPPO 8/26/2014 3:40PM

    If I skip one day of cardio, I've managed to skip a month...I'm not even kidding time just blurrrrrs by. Actually, I better get back to it. LOL

wine by poolside....aahhhhh emoticon

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ARUNNINGKAT 8/26/2014 2:37PM

    Poolside with wine does sound good!

Good job on not beating yourself up! Just get on the bike tonight and all will be well! emoticon

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UKNOWITNOW 8/26/2014 11:14AM

  emoticon

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So pleased...

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

I am pleased. Why? Simple. I was feeling bad yesterday. Stressed. Overwhelmed. Panicky. It was a very very rough day at work. What did I do? I overcame it. I pushed forward. I made myself calm down. By the evening I was so run down all I could do was collapse into the bathtub. When I finally forced myself to slosh out of the tub I flopped down on the couch determined to waste away the evening. I sat there and sat there and the next thing I knew I was riding my bike! Yes! That's what I want! I want it to be automatic, I don't want to think....I just want to do! I am so happy to say that I finally got off my plateau. Now weigh day isn't until Monday so I have a long way to go and keep it off, but you know what? I'm a pound less than I have been in a very long time. I've gained and lost the same 5 pounds for the past year....I'm ready to move on. It feels like progress!

Woo Hoo!!!

How is your determination today?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THINNERME2009 8/20/2014 2:48PM

    Great job, glad it ended on a high note and that you focused on the silver lining. It is always easier said than done and even harder when it comes from ourselves. PROUD OF YOU.

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RADOOGA 8/20/2014 2:16PM

    Greetings from sunny France! Glad you managed some biking, look forward to seeing how you are doing in a few weeks when I'm back in the land of reliable wifi! Just wanted you to know that you are an inspiration for me. I know people say that a lot on here, but you are, and I know you can do this, whatever life throws at you x x

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EMMBEE4 8/20/2014 1:53PM

  emoticon emoticon

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SOAPNUT 8/20/2014 1:20PM

    You Go girl! emoticon

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CAERIED 8/20/2014 1:17PM

  Great attitude! emoticon

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ARUNNINGKAT 8/20/2014 1:11PM

    So glad your day ended on a happy note! And that you are feeling enthusiastic and victorious today!

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Soft...

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

I have been soft. My blogs have been soft. They seem stunted almost. I feel like maybe I'm not being completely honest with myself. I want to be flippant, I want to be positive and encouraging. There's a problem with always being that person though. Something suffers when you are always trying to be upbeat. We can't be upbeat 100 % of the time. So today I'm going to step back from "upbeat Heather" for a moment and I'm just going to be real.

This is how I feel:

I am fat, I am ugly. I do not want my picture taken because I don't want anyone to see how round my face has gotten. I don't want anyone to see my triple chin. I don't want anyone to see how when I smile my fat hides my eyes. I don't want anyone to see the monster that I feel like I've become.

And this is also how I feel:

Sometimes I feel beautiful. Sometimes I feel strong. Sometimes I feel amazing. I know I have gained weight back, all of it and then some, but I don't feel like I'm as big as I used to be. I don't always cringe away from the mirror. Sometimes I even tell myself how cute I am. Sometimes I even feel pretty.

Notice the difference? I tried to put down the positive things that I feel but I noticed every single one of them was a "sometimes". In the first one they were "I am" statements.

Believe it or not this kind of drained me. I'm supposed to be the encourager. The Health Coach. Sometimes though I just have to let my hair down and let it all hang out. Be honest with you and be honest with me. That's what will help in the long run. That is not to say that my previous blogs have been lies or even just "not completely honest". They are. That's how I felt when I wrote them, but this is how I felt today.

I'm not always optimistic. I'm real. I'm a human. And no, I am not putting my goals, wishes, hopes, dreams, or prayers on this blog. This isn't that sort of blog. Now please don't go getting all upset with me, I am not down on myself. I just really needed to make this real. It is part of my journey and completely necessary at this moment in order for me to move forward.

Have a wonderful Tuesday, we need that!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOOPYLOU0363 8/20/2014 3:34PM

    Good job being real and honest. I think we all feel this way. Good and Bad, Pretty and ugly, thin and fat. Its called life. If we keep pushing forward the good will eventually outweigh the bad...
emoticon

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RADOOGA 8/20/2014 2:24PM

    Bravo for being real. Sometimes that's the hardest thing. Yesterday I had to admit to myself that I missed pigging out and eating all the sweet things...a bit like smoking, I knew that I was doing the right thing giving up, but still missed it, even though it was incredibly bad for me...(nuts I know). Same with the food...I feel a million times better for having started this journey, but there is still a part of me that misses the old ways that were comforting and indulgent. It doesn't make sense, but then we are only human I guess.

Well done for your honesty, sending you best wishes
Debs x

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THINNERME2009 8/19/2014 1:18PM

    These comments are very real and that is how one should be... REAL. Great words hidden in the depth of this blog.


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ARUNNINGKAT 8/19/2014 12:08PM

    I definitely don't judge you for this blog. I think you have simply voiced things that we have all felt at times. It is a very real part of this journey, whether we like it or not. We have to deal with it all, the victories and the discouragements. And sometimes it takes a good hard look at the bad parts to spur us on to action. Or at least that is the way it is with me. Hope you have a positively awesome day!

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PRUPLEBEAR 8/19/2014 11:17AM

    You do have to be honest with yourself. So good for you. You should also want others to be honest with you....So here goes.......YOU a wonderful person. You are strong. You are pretty. You are a great friend and You are a dork. Love ya

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SOAPNUT 8/19/2014 10:11AM

    You are correct that being honest with how you really feel will help you and its good for all of us to do. Just remember its all a balancing act for everyone of us..........going from being up-set or unhappy with how we look or are to acting on it to make a change for the positive.

emoticon

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JAROL7 8/19/2014 8:49AM

    Honest is good. DECIDE ... and do it.

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Finally!

Monday, August 18, 2014

I am finally back in onederland! My goodness it has taken forever. I have been here before and I bopped right back up the next week so this week it is imperative that I take great care of myself and my body. If I can keep under 200 this week I feel like it will help jump start me. Seriously....the last time I hit this weigh I went up 4 pounds almost over night. I can do this. I can be strong and determined and kind to myself. I can.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOAPNUT 8/18/2014 1:06PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ARUNNINGKAT 8/18/2014 11:57AM

    Yes, yes you can do it! And congrats on the loss!

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PRUPLEBEAR 8/18/2014 10:55AM

    woohoo!

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