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BLINGQUEEN:O)'s Recent Blog Entries

Confronting a Trigger to Eat

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

I have learned that my disarray of eating patterns is ultimately my responsibility. Yes, I am the one who eventually puts the food in my mouth. I have never been force fed. However, I do recognize triggers that cause me to make wrong choices and over eat: Some are actual foods, some are events, some are people and some are emotional.

I was, let's say, challenged to increase the variety of what is currently on my revolving menu. So far my choices have helped me release into the atmosphere, never to be found again, 31 pounds. The person challenging me is someone I respect because of her education and background.

You know what I once again discovered? My foodie brain just waits to get an "okay go for it" message! This time it was a variation in my diet. I tried something new, saying to myself, "I'll just try a 3 inch by 3 inch piece." Oh, yeah, right sure! How many times have I said THOSE exact words while trying to get healthy!!?? Too many to count! So alias, it led to a food bender. Sugar, flour, go to indulgences in any consumable form.

Well after 2 days of cravings, pacing, and fighting "head hunger" I am back on track and feel more peaceful. (Peaceful enough to write this post.) I wonder, "Will my life ever be without those hellish moments with food?" I hope so. Today, I will choose to be healthy, check in with my PEEPS, and treat myself kindly.

Today, I will let that well meaning, advice giving person know that I need to stick with what works today as far as my health. Maybe in the futre I can expand my menu!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OOLALA53 9/30/2013 4:08PM

    Yes, there are tougher triggers to learn to be less ruled by, but it's amazing what time and practice can do. And what redefining those moments can do, as well. What makes them hellish? Mostly our internal battles, fears, and judgments. Having years of sane eating days has now helped to cut down on the drama, and miraculously, that has had a calming effect on the urges as well. For once, the circle isn't vicious but kind!

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VKKESU 9/26/2013 3:30PM

    When it comes to treats, I can only have 2 MAX during a week to keep those sugar cravings from coming back. I usually try to limit to no more than 1 a week if even that. Holidays ( two locations in same week w/ leftovers) are what throw me into a spiral.

At least you know what you need to do. I still don't keep it at my house because it's just to easy to get hooked on my drug of choice (sugar).

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KALIGIRL 9/25/2013 8:32AM

    Step by step and finding what works for you is the way!
And you are finding it.

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PENNYSAVER2 9/24/2013 2:50PM

    emoticon Keep striving to be the best you that you can be!! You are worth the effort. emoticon

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NKING1982 9/24/2013 1:05PM

    I still have the same problem when im at home. It's easier when i go to work, i pre-portion my lunches and snacks so that i can only have that small piece versus the whole package. Just keep pushing, you can do it

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Defining success/What's your chronic Pain?

Monday, September 16, 2013

Hope you are having a successful week. It doesn't really matter how we define successful, right!?
My success:
I exercised once this week..., I meditated about 4 times.... my food is on track..... SUCCESSFUL!
How were you successful?

***Hey I was reading an old diet program book this morning. The words challenged me to once again think about the WHY I over eat. I consider myself addicted to the behavior of overeating. (Yeah I could overeat veggies! No fun there...) The reasons become irrelevant after a while. The fact remains I do want to snuff out the chronic emotional pain I can feel so deeply. The momentary pleasure of eating fools me into believing that the pain has vanished only to yet again discover it has not. Thus, I can over eat again. For the moment, though, I don't think, feel or care. I go unconscious in a way.
Today, I am reaching out, and really trying to stay present, mindful and caring for me!

Point to ponder: What is YOUR chronic PAIN that you are trying to make UNCONSCIOUS?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KALIGIRL 9/17/2013 8:57AM

Here's to your success!

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GRATEFUL_BEING 9/16/2013 10:09PM

  Excellent point a few years ago I realized I was eating to medicate physical pain as well as emotional. Meditation has been successful, with much practice and determination, for my physical pain. Its been difficult to always get myself in to the meditation mode when I am having an, "emotional frenzy".

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ANGORA4 9/16/2013 9:22PM

    Great post. Thanks for the challenging thoughts. I often overeat because I am tired, and eating gives me an excuse to sit down. I eat because I am frustrated, and can't change the things that frustrate me, so eating became a pleasure I could have. Unfortunately, overeating is bad, no matter why you do it. The hard part is deciding you are more important than the pain you are trying to cover up with food. You are worth the change, worth the effort, worth the temporary pain of the emotion. Long term, we need to find better ways to medicate our pain.

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Living Life On Life's Terms(updated photos)

Sunday, September 08, 2013

I love to hide. I gain weight and I hide. I avoid people at all costs because of how ashamed I am. Unfortunately, I have been hiding most of my adult life.

I took a courage step today. I actually posted photos of myself to my Sparkpage ~ How I looked this summer (20 lbs higher then) and a bit of photo history of my sizes. This is the first time ever posting "fat" photos.

I usually avoid cameras or delete photos because I don't want to remember how I look. My weight swings have been drastic. Every time I get into an uncomfortable size, the shame has been so great that I hide from the world.

Today, I am Living Life On Life's Terms. I am not using food to escape. I exercised today and broke a sweat! I am blogging and posting photos so all of you "Sparkpeople" can see who I am. I am pushing shame out of my life.

No one has ever said, "Wow you gained a ton of weight!" Nor have they acknowledge the drastic swing up the scale several times throughout my life in any way. I guess people don't know what to say. Maybe they don't even notice?

What they think of me is none of my business! emoticon

I have escaped through food, or lack of , since I was a tweenie. (Back then, there was no such label.) Today, I face you with who I am and where I have come from.

I don't want to be hiding anymore. I won't hide anymore.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JESSIG5 9/10/2013 4:32PM

    Good for you.

And there are plenty of us here on Spark who would be glad to be your weight even at your heaviest!!

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ANGORA4 9/10/2013 11:40AM

    So proud of you, what an incredible statement. You are ready to face today, and do what it takes to bring you to a healthier tomorrow.
Living your life for you, not based on others' opinions, but based on your own best interests--very impressive!

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BARCLE 9/9/2013 5:06PM


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GODZDESIGN95 9/9/2013 9:26AM

    What they think of me is none of my business! I copied what you said. So now your true journey begins. Best wishes on it and do not let other define who you are. There is more to you than your appearance or weight. emoticon emoticon emoticon Get on your mark GET set GO!

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IMREITE 9/9/2013 2:30AM

    i think life is full of escapes. and we tent to uses them in way that makes all the problems worse. i tend to hide or try not to get attention for myself. Although there are times i still want to i have been trying to do new things or ust do simple things that i am too shy to do.

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Staying Motivated on ZERO Motivation days

Friday, September 06, 2013

Can you relate to zero motivation on some days? I can so relate. What helped me on those many days, months and often years of not caring at all for myself was to do something I enjoyed while eating BUT giving myself permission to do the activity without eating. I know that sounds strange but here's how it works:
Part of us gets relief from eating and does associate it with activities we do while eating such as T.V. , reading, socializing, etc.... Often it becomes a hand in hand habit.
When I gave myself permission to watch T.V. mindlessly, but WITH OUT the eating part, that part of me that wanted to "just eat and eat" was a little more satisfied than if I have gone cold turkey into doing "healthy" things on my list of things to do instead of eating.
I try to be gentle and kind to that patterned side of me that is tying the event to eating.
Another example: Let's say your not motivated to exercise. Going for a gentle walk to enjoy the outdoors without the goal of getting sweating, sore or burning calories... See, you would be doing something you enjoyed and sneaking in some exercise.
Giving yourself permission to be gentle and making it okay takes away the compounding guilt we often feel when we don't "stick to the plan" perfectly. I think I'll give myself to watch a movie today.... (without eating!) emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAMEY13 9/8/2013 6:49PM

    I have a schedule every day. I get my exercise out of the way. Then I go and have breakfast. After that, I try to keep busy doing things that need to be done. When I find time to relax, I try the computer, read a book, but if I get stressed there better not be any sweets in the house, is all I can say.

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CLEARNIGHTSKY 9/7/2013 11:21PM

    Oh, yes, I can relate to zero motivation.

I'm finding that this motivation is kind of cyclical for me . . . it comes and goes pretty regularly . . . every few days or so it swings the other way.

I find it pretty tough to get started on my workout on those low-motivation days, but this topic does make me think of that quote I love:

"Gee, I really regret that workout," said by no one, ever.


(Although yesterday I totally skipped my workout because I felt totally wiped out. Still figuring this all out.)


Comment edited on: 9/7/2013 11:25:04 PM

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IMREITE 9/7/2013 3:01AM

    i have started to make myself do 5 minute tasks. That way i am off my butt and get something done and as i start 1 thing i am generally ready to do the next or longer task.

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CHERIJ16 9/6/2013 11:02PM


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SPARKLISE 9/6/2013 9:04PM

    Great idea! emoticon

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WOUBBIE 9/6/2013 4:21PM

    Great angle on this! Having a lofty goal does you no good if it's not DOABLE. Better to have multiple small "wins" than only an occasional big one.

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KELLIEBEAN 9/6/2013 3:11PM

    Great ideas! Thank you very much!

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LISSTEVENS 9/6/2013 12:54PM

    AWESOME ADVICE!! I will have to try this because the exercise motivation is LOOOOWWW!!

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QUILTNANGEL 9/6/2013 12:50PM

  I have a lot of "no motivation' days. I love your idea of allowing myself to do things without the eating. I'm always doing mindless eating while doing other things. I know I'm not really hungry, just bored. Thanks so much for this great idea!!!


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OTTAWABOUND 9/6/2013 12:48PM

    Yesterday, I gave myself permission to take a taxi to the pool and back for 30 minutes of swimming. So, about a dollar a minute of swimming. BUT -- I felt so good afterwards and it made it easier to stay on track with my food that day.

Thanks for a thoughtful blog.

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JACKIE15108 9/6/2013 12:46PM

    What great ideas to take your mind off eating!! Thanks!

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Food Pushers.... also on a message board post...

Wednesday, September 04, 2013

Sometimes I need to remind myself with what to do with food pushers and that's why I'm copying my post to a blog.
I have such a problem people pleasing that I will blow my food and exercise program because of putting others needs first. I would be the one on the air plane that puts the air on YOU first then, dying, tries to give myself air! (think about that one!)
Here is my message board post:

Food pushers, food enablers, guilt trippers, I have dealt with them all in my long journey with disordered consumption.
Because I have been off and on diets, I have become very unpredictable diet person. People have offered me food, bought food for me, left food for me, handed me leftovers when they were finished eating..... anything one can imagine because my eating patterns were so erratic.

Today, I am dealing with a hubby and sis-in-law cooking all day in our kitchen. They are both food pushers offering "just one." (Hah) None of the food is what I will choose to eat today.
Here is my plan and what I found works with food pushers:
First, compliment, "Wow that sure looks/smells good!"
Next, a gentle decline, "Today, I'm not going to try any...."
Bring it back to them with such gratitude, "But, Thank You! You go ahead and have my share!
Use humor to end it with: "I will live vicariously through your taste buds!"

TA DA! food pushers be gone!

This method has worked for me and I hope it helps!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MJREIMERS 9/7/2013 6:12PM

    I am finally in a place were most people don't push food on me. They realize that I eat healthy, most of the time, and will accommodate me. I do allow some "splurges" in moderation. I'll have chocolate or a piece of fried chicken every so often, but my family is very supportive now. It's taken a while, but it can be done.

Hang in there and keep at it!!!

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ANGORA4 9/4/2013 10:49PM

    Very well done! Coming up with an upbeat and pleasant response that still keeps your diet intact is important. Great idea!

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TIMOTHYNOHE 9/4/2013 9:16PM


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ERINLINDSAY83 9/4/2013 4:50PM

    Excellent plan! I have that problem too. I cave easily when it comes to people offering me food.

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