Saturday, April 05, 2014
Back in August 2011 I wrote a blog "Big Rocks": www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
In it, I recount the story* "A man leading a workshop on time management began with a demonstration. He had a glass cylinder into which he put several rocks, until they reached the top. He asked the class if the container were full. They agreed it was full.
He then poured several scoops of gravel into the container, where it settled around the rocks, until it reached the top. This time when he asked the class if the container was full, they were divided, and none were certain what the answer should be.
So he took a bag of sand, and poured some of that in until it reached the top. He then asked what the point of the exercise was, given the topic of the class. One eager participant suggested, "No matter how full your schedule is, you can always squeeze in a little more!"
The teacher smiled, and responded "No, quite the opposite. If you don't put the big rocks in first, they will never fit." The question for each person is: What are the Big Rocks in your life, and are you putting them into your schedule first?"
On my team the Babysteps Brigade, in our Challenge forum, we have a Pledge thread where we set intentions and make commitments. We don't post there as often as on the Success Report or SPED--Something Positive Every Day threads, but it can be quite powerful to share our plans within a supportive group, and then report back (if we choose) on how we've done.
So today I posted this on the BB Pledge thread:
I won't get to each of my "big rocks" daily, but I do pledge to take action on at least one each day, and hopefully more.
My Big Rocks:
--Financial education & empowerment
--Emotional well-being and balance
--Nurturing environment (this includes organizing and de-cluttering)
I followed up with a report on what I've accomplished so far in 3 areas today, and I plan to do more yet. I just felt moved to share with more of my Spark Friends this Big Rocks metaphor, and a method of reflecting on whether and how the actions we take each day are moving us toward our most important goals, and helping us heal or enhance different aspects of our lives in a balanced way.
Blessed Be, Amanda
* (I heard the story in a workshop I can no longer identify, but probably one given by Deborah Ham)
Friday, April 04, 2014
I will take babysteps today--I will, I will, I will!
Goddess, I want to make changes, make progress, move forward toward my goals! I want to feel free and powerful. I can't get there all at once, but I can take action TODAY! I can take *at least* one step--and maybe even more than one. Yes!
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
According to Marshall Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication, it has "enormous power to create shame and guilt" yet is so ingrained and commonly used, many of us can't imagine living without it. It is the word "should."
It is strongly judgmental, and suggests the person not doing what they "should" is somehow morally defective or bad--or lazy or stupid, or somehow branded by one or more negative characteristics. It also implies a lack of choice which leads to resistance, for humans crave freedom and choice, and abhor tyranny "even when it's internal tyranny in the form of a "should."
Though most of the book focuses on skills and attitudes that assist you in communicating more harmoniously and effectively with others, I was most struck by Chapter 9: Connecting Compassionately with Ourselves. I especially liked the point he makes on p. 132: "Our challenge then, when we are doing something that is not enriching life, is to evaluate ourselves moment by moment in a way that inspires change both (1) in the direction of where we would like to go, and (2) out of respect and compassion for ourselves, rather than out of self-hatred, guilt or shame."
When our actions or progress do not yet match our values or goals, there is no need to call ourselves names or condemn ourselves, for that does not inspire lasting and joyful change. It is much healthier and more helpful to contemplate what we "could" do (examining our many options) and what we most deeply desire (considering our truest motivation) than beating ourselves up over what we think we "should" be doing.
So who's up to the challenge of no longer "shoulding" on yourself?
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