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Starting Again - don't read this if you are sensitive

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I get so discouraged trying to do this alone.

I like having a real person beside me, working out with me, struggling with the ice cream cravings, laughing together when we screw up; problem is nobody in my life is on this journey.

I like having the online teams but the commitment just isn't there from others. I work really hard to find a way to compete with others to keep myself motivated. Hell I didn't even realize that I was a competitor until I started doing the team thing. I found that the lack of competition makes me disengage from the group.

Then there are those demolition people, they are struggling I get that, but why do they have to attack others that are only trying to move them? You can't always coddle (?sp) people that keep falling down / behind, sometimes you HAVE to push them when they are down. Just look at Jillian. I watched the new show....boy she is giving them no excuses. I wish she would come push me, scream in my face, yes and make me puke.

So today I listened to Jillian, my inner Jillian that is. My stomach still hurts, I haven't been able to eat a decent meal in days, but I decided my legs still work, I am still breathing, and my shoes still fit, so I tied them on, grabbed my keys and phone and took off down the street. It was only a walk in 80 degree weather but it was a fast one up hill on the outbound but I pushed myself and did 30 minutes.

This is what I want. I want to sweat, I want to get out in the sunshine and fresh air. I want to Run Again! I want to feel good about me again and if that bothers you then you need to look inside yourself for your reason why not attack me.

Okay, so I am not looking forward to measuring the food, counting the calories, recording everything down, but this is what it takes, so Here I go Again! Look out world!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

UP2ME_CC 6/17/2010 8:54PM

    Congratulations on not giving up and best of luck to you on your journey. Remember, it'll all be worth it in the end.

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They say laughter is a good workout ...

Tuesday, March 02, 2010


If you read this without
laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to
everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my Husband (the
dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for

Although I am still in great shape since being a high school
football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go
ahead and give it a try.

I called the club and made my reservations
with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a
26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim

My husband seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started.
The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my

my day at 6:00 a..m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it
when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is
something of a Greek god - with blond hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling
white smile.. Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the
machines. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his
aerobics class after my workout today.


Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my
gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around.
This is going to be a FANTASTIC week

I drank a
whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me
lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights
on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full
mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT !! It's a
whole new life for

The only
way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and
moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both
pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I
parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.

Christo was
impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members.
His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he
scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest
hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster.
Why the heck would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity
rendered obsolete by elevators?
Christo told me it would help me get
in shape and enjoy life. He said some other stuff

was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel
lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an
hour late - it took me that long to tie my shoes.

He took me to
work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the
restroom. He sent some skinny little itch to find me.

Then, as
punishment, he put me on the rowing
machine -- which I

I hate that
bas tard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human
being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic little
aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without
unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to
work on my triceps. I don't
have any triceps! And if you don't want
dents in the
floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that
weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I
landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been
someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir

Satan left a
message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering
why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash
the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use
the TV remote and ended up
catching eleven straight hours of the

having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank
GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband
will choose a gift for me that is fun -- like a root canal or a
hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have
sprinkled the floor with diamonds !!!


Trying to start again

Sunday, February 07, 2010

and again

I don't even know about being here today

I managed to weigh and measure

I was supposed to go to the store today but didn't feel well when I woke up and it was snowing so nixed that plan

How come I can't get moving?

It's not that I don't want to, I just don't want to be by myself


Guess this is my time

Friday, December 11, 2009

to focus on me

No need to worry about posting everday

No need to worry about trying to come up with the right words to motivate someone else

No need to worry about getting more reps than so-and-so

No need to worry about being accountable to someone else

I took this seriously

and worked hard

but wasn't making the progress I wanted

so I understand why everyone bailed

but I can't go back to BLC


it is coming up on time for me to start studying for my next test



I must focus on how this is going to work in my everyday life

without anyone else

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITALY67 12/18/2009 10:38PM

    you do not have to be alone, but I understand I am going the same way

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A lecture for my baby brother (and in the end myself)

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

What are you doing there?

Is that helping you solve your problem?

Will it help you make some progress on your dreams?

What is going to come of this?

If I can do this you can do that

We weren't taught how to deal with our problems but we can learn together, we are worth it, I will be here for you.


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