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Measuring Success

Thursday, October 07, 2010

This was originally posted on a message board, but the fire in my spirit on the subject refuses to be contained so I am sharing it here as well. ~

It hit me last night after reading an email from SparkPeople and this morning it is a fire in my spirit, so please bear with me. Throughout my life I have considered myself a failure on so many levels (many, MANY levels!)...all because I CHOSE to measure my success using someone else's ruler! For the last few months (yes...I'm that slow to catch on I have run across articles, literature, quotes, emails, you name it, that have been telling me things like "slow and steady wins the race", "take time to enjoy the journey", "the key to happiness is patience", "everything in its own time", "God has a plan for everyone". This morning it finally clicked! My God placed me on this earth with a plan in store for my life and NOTHING can stand in the way of God's plans! Every fall, every transgression, every mountain, every failure has a purpose toward completing that plan just as valuable as the victories do. My success is defined by my perseverance...not my position! Every year, every month, every week, every day, every hour, and every minute the Lord draws me nearer and nearer to Him. My flaws don't reside in my actions...they reside in perspective of the importance of the journey itself! God makes no mistakes and He lives in me! He has forgiven me for all that have done, so who am I to hold a grudge against myself for things He has already deemed healed. So I am making it my mission to learn to measure my success my God's see the way He holds me in His arms with pride, to feel the love He places in me and around, to let His energy and light flow through me knowing that I am worthy of that energy because HE said so! We are all unique and God gave each of us an separate purpose in life. We are doing ourselves a grand injustice by comparing our our mountains and victories to those that belong to our neighbors! They aren't on our path and we aren't on theirs. So at some point today , if you will, just close your eyes and quiet yourself if only for a moment and sincerely tell yourself how proud you are of YOU! For one small moment, give the support that you give so freely to others to yourself and love you the way God loves you, see you the way God sees you...and when you open your eyes let that pride shine out into the world. You never know who you may bless with that gleaming glance. I hope you all have a blessed day!


Standing Proud

Friday, October 01, 2010

Ya'll I want to tell you that September was some kind of bad month for me! Not in terms of weight loss (cause I somehow managed to lose almost 10 pounds), but in terms of emotional turmoil. But I have learned that depression has it's place in development just like anything else. So in reviewing the past month I was at least able to identify some of the triggers for that emotional cluster. The truth is that despite all my growth and learning through the years, I am still fixated on perfection and how things appear to others. I get so caught up in where I think or someone else thinks I SHOULD be that I forget just how far I've come. I don't take time to truly celebrate my victories and relish in my successes, much less wallow in gratitude for my blessings. I sat down today as one of my many "to do" lists began to run through my head and everytime my mind told me what needed to be done, I told my mind something that I had already achieved. That was the most fruitful mental exercise that I have done in a very long time. It was like giving excuses in reverse. And I'll have you know that no matter how pessimistic and persistent that "to do" list got, no matter how many things it could spout of that needed to be done, I could always out number it with victories I've already won. I may be moving slower than average, but I am by no means behind! It feels good to not just be telling myself that but to actually KNOW that. I know I have a long way to go, but the truth is that I'm a knowledge and experience junkie...I will always have a long way to go in something because there will always be something else I want to learn or do. So as long as I draw breath there will be a long road ahead of me. But the purpose of taking all these journeys was to enjoy the ride along the way and somewhere along the line I got so caught up with getting to the destination that I forgot that. So I came up with a little reminder for myself to repeat when the list of things I have to do starts to weigh me down. Each time I feel overwhelmed I will tell myself, "Don't let the thing you have left to do cloud your sense of achievement for the things you have already done." Hopefully this will help keep it fresh in my mind. But if it doesn't, I'm sure the Lord will remind me again...He always does.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SERENEMOM71 10/11/2010 1:33PM

  Blckrose, I can't add anything except AMEN!

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SERENEMOM71 10/5/2010 1:28AM

  I agree with you - it's not the destination that is not so valuable but the journey and the experiences that we have on the way! And you are right that if we forget that - hopefully God will remind us! I enjoyed reading your blog - thank you.

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BECKAFANO 10/1/2010 4:02PM

    Good for you. That is a huge accomplishment to us with depression. I'd say you had a great September if not all of September was good at least this moment was. Keep ahold of it as long as you can.

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Pick Up and Move Forward

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Last week was a pretty bad week for me. Between getting no sleep and having no energy, I got almost nothing done. I didn't track my foods or exercise...I pretty much did the basics that HAD to be done for day to day functionality and nothing else. Monday started off a little better for me though. Well at least I didn't spend all day in the bed. It was enough of an boost for me to feel better about what I was doing though. So today I got up and got moving and actually got caught up on quite a few things. I even tracked my eating for the day. The good news is that apparently my portion eating has become a habit because I didn't gain anything during my lethargic week. I didn't lose anything either, but at least I didn't gain. So tomorrow I am going to get back into my strength training exercises and aim to get a little bit more done around here. Hopefully I can end this week with a bang and start strong next week. Truthfully though, I am just glad to be feeling better.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLCKROSE 9/16/2010 11:22PM

    @ knitnyak...For now I am providing my own support but SparkPeople and all the wonderful members have been a great asset to me since I discovered this site. I do my best to be thankful for the blessings I have, pray for the blessings I hope to get, and take each moment for what it is.

Hold on to your drive and faith. The physical measurements of your success will come in their own time. But even if you can't see the effects of your changes always remember that they are having an effect. Your health and life are being blessed by your hard work even if the scale refused to confirm your success.

@ all responders...Thank You so much for your kind words and support. It means a lot to me along this journey

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SERENEMOM71 9/16/2010 9:43AM

  I'm glad that you're feeling better, too! AND glad that you didn't gain any weight! emoticon emoticon Here's to a good finish to the end of the week and a good weekend! emoticon

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KNITNYAK 9/16/2010 9:02AM

    You are blessed! I worked my butt off and did everything I was supposed to and still the scales didn't budge! Remember, today is a new day, yesterday is forgotten! Do you have someone close to support you?

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ALEXANDRIA2007 9/15/2010 7:49PM

    It happens to us all and the great thing is that you are not letting last week have an impact on today. Keep up the good work! emoticon

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Made It This Time!

Sunday, September 05, 2010

I did it! I slacked off on my tracking towards the end of the week, but with the exception of one really depressed day, I made my fruit and veggie goals daily. I did come up with a way to help me stay on track in spite of moods though. Yesterday I prepared all the fresh veggies I would need for this week and put them in "ready to eat" containers. I even cooked all the lean meat for the week and put it away in containers that hold just the right portions for one dinner for me and the kids. So not only did I make it this week, but I have set myself up for success next week. I think I am going to take this week off dietary challenge wise though and take the time to solidify the 2 new habits I have just started. I want them to get to the point that they are just as unconscious of an act to drink 8 glasses of water and eat fruits and veggies as it was to grab a muffin and a Coke. I think too that I need a personal growth week to work on these mood swings and get my mind back on track. With all these changes in routines and such I think I threw off my comfort zone that keeps my bipolar somewhat at bay. So taking the time to build these new routines and habits into a comfort zone is the right thing for me at this point. I've learned over the years of taking this med and that one, going to this therapist or that counselor that the best way for me to manage my issues is through security, spirituality, and routines. Besides without insurance or transportation, they are the only tools I have. So this week is for me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SERENEMOM71 9/7/2010 10:32PM

  You have such a positive attitude and a great system! emoticon If you wish, there is a new Bipolar Support Chat on the Christian Women W/Depression Team. Join us if you want!
I continue to pray for you daily.
Love, your sister in Christ emoticon

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GREENIE-GREEN 9/5/2010 12:05PM

    Great attitude, and congrats on reaching your goals!

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Renewed Energy and Spirit-Challenge Restart

Sunday, August 29, 2010

This weekend proved to be exactly what I needed to get my head cleared and get back on track. I have gotten some rest and even finished a few tasks that had been left undone in the previous weeks. I have a whole new outlook on my journey and am ready to jump toe at a time of I woke up this morning with a new approach to my challenge from last week laying heavily on my spirit. So I sat down this morning and worked up a new meal plan base for me. Instead of taking my old meal plan and adding fruits and vegetables to it, I made fruits and vegetables the base of my meals and then added whatever was missing to make my daily intake needs. It was so much easier this way and from the looks of it I will be eating a greater volume of food and getting less calories. I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner, but then everything in God's time right. He knows exactly when it is time for you to do something and make sure it gets done in that time. So I am fully prepared to restart my challenge with confidence that this time I will be successful and with a lot less effort on my part.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SERENEMOM71 8/29/2010 3:11PM

  Smart idea! I know that will work for you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon I'm still praying for you!
God Bless you this next week!
Love your sister in Christ

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