Thursday, October 07, 2010
This was originally posted on a message board, but the fire in my spirit on the subject refuses to be contained so I am sharing it here as well. ~
It hit me last night after reading an email from SparkPeople and this morning it is a fire in my spirit, so please bear with me. Throughout my life I have considered myself a failure on so many levels (many, MANY levels!)...all because I CHOSE to measure my success using someone else's ruler! For the last few months (yes...I'm that slow to catch on sometimes...lol) I have run across articles, literature, quotes, emails, you name it, that have been telling me things like "slow and steady wins the race", "take time to enjoy the journey", "the key to happiness is patience", "everything in its own time", "God has a plan for everyone". This morning it finally clicked! My God placed me on this earth with a plan in store for my life and NOTHING can stand in the way of God's plans! Every fall, every transgression, every mountain, every failure has a purpose toward completing that plan just as valuable as the victories do. My success is defined by my perseverance...not my position! Every year, every month, every week, every day, every hour, and every minute the Lord draws me nearer and nearer to Him. My flaws don't reside in my actions...they reside in perspective of the importance of the journey itself! God makes no mistakes and He lives in me! He has forgiven me for all that have done, so who am I to hold a grudge against myself for things He has already deemed healed. So I am making it my mission to learn to measure my success my God's ruler...to see the way He holds me in His arms with pride, to feel the love He places in me and around, to let His energy and light flow through me knowing that I am worthy of that energy because HE said so! We are all unique and God gave each of us an separate purpose in life. We are doing ourselves a grand injustice by comparing our our mountains and victories to those that belong to our neighbors! They aren't on our path and we aren't on theirs. So at some point today , if you will, just close your eyes and quiet yourself if only for a moment and sincerely tell yourself how proud you are of YOU! For one small moment, give the support that you give so freely to others to yourself and love you the way God loves you, see you the way God sees you...and when you open your eyes let that pride shine out into the world. You never know who you may bless with that gleaming glance. I hope you all have a blessed day!
Friday, October 01, 2010
Ya'll I want to tell you that September was some kind of bad month for me! Not in terms of weight loss (cause I somehow managed to lose almost 10 pounds), but in terms of emotional turmoil. But I have learned that depression has it's place in development just like anything else. So in reviewing the past month I was at least able to identify some of the triggers for that emotional cluster. The truth is that despite all my growth and learning through the years, I am still fixated on perfection and how things appear to others. I get so caught up in where I think or someone else thinks I SHOULD be that I forget just how far I've come. I don't take time to truly celebrate my victories and relish in my successes, much less wallow in gratitude for my blessings. I sat down today as one of my many "to do" lists began to run through my head and everytime my mind told me what needed to be done, I told my mind something that I had already achieved. That was the most fruitful mental exercise that I have done in a very long time. It was like giving excuses in reverse. And I'll have you know that no matter how pessimistic and persistent that "to do" list got, no matter how many things it could spout of that needed to be done, I could always out number it with victories I've already won. I may be moving slower than average, but I am by no means behind! It feels good to not just be telling myself that but to actually KNOW that. I know I have a long way to go, but the truth is that I'm a knowledge and experience junkie...I will always have a long way to go in something because there will always be something else I want to learn or do. So as long as I draw breath there will be a long road ahead of me. But the purpose of taking all these journeys was to enjoy the ride along the way and somewhere along the line I got so caught up with getting to the destination that I forgot that. So I came up with a little reminder for myself to repeat when the list of things I have to do starts to weigh me down. Each time I feel overwhelmed I will tell myself, "Don't let the thing you have left to do cloud your sense of achievement for the things you have already done." Hopefully this will help keep it fresh in my mind. But if it doesn't, I'm sure the Lord will remind me again...He always does.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Last week was a pretty bad week for me. Between getting no sleep and having no energy, I got almost nothing done. I didn't track my foods or exercise...I pretty much did the basics that HAD to be done for day to day functionality and nothing else. Monday started off a little better for me though. Well at least I didn't spend all day in the bed. It was enough of an boost for me to feel better about what I was doing though. So today I got up and got moving and actually got caught up on quite a few things. I even tracked my eating for the day. The good news is that apparently my portion eating has become a habit because I didn't gain anything during my lethargic week. I didn't lose anything either, but at least I didn't gain. So tomorrow I am going to get back into my strength training exercises and aim to get a little bit more done around here. Hopefully I can end this week with a bang and start strong next week. Truthfully though, I am just glad to be feeling better.
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