Friday, April 18, 2008
In the past few weeks, I've regained old friends who I thought I had lost forever. One was a Spark Friend, who dropped out of sight last December because of computer problems and one is a work friend who was dealing with some personal issues and suddenly stopped talking to me.
The first friend is still having computer issues but I'm so glad she's back. She's such a nice and supportive friend. I really missed her when she was gone.
I renewed my friendship with the second friend this week at the conference that I was at. I didn't even know she was coming to the conference but I ran into her accidentally and we ended up sharing meals and sitting near each other during workshops and keynote speakers for the whole conference. I'm so glad that she's back in my life again. I really missed her and worried about her while she was gone.
Friends are the best! Here's to friends everywhere!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
I've just returned from a 3-day conference where I didn't drink nearly enough water. I had a headache from about 4 p.m. yesterday until about 4 p.m. today. Since about 2 p.m. today, I've drank two cups of water and 4 cups of green tea and lo and behold, my headache is gone!
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Our Living With RA team started a new challenge last week and I lost 1.4 pounds in the first week. Woohoo! I hope I can keep up.
I also have recently discovered that wheat causes inflammation so I've been trying to cut it out of my diet and I feel so much better. It's actually kind of cool that something works that's not another drug to take.
And, speaking of other drugs to take, I'm going to be starting Orencia on May 7th. Orencia is taken through IV so I have to go to the doctor's office once a month for this and apparently, it takes six months to a year for it to start working, which I sincerely hope it does since none of the other meds seem to be doing that much yet.
Other than that, I'm really tired these days. I'm not entirely sure why other than the fact that I wake up to go to the bathroom about 2:30 a.m. every day and then have an extremely hard time falling back asleep. This is a new thing for me. Before, I always slept well. Don't know if it's related to the RA or if it's related to menopause.
I'm off work for the next couple of days so I can play bridge. I'm playing tonight, tomorrow night, Friday afternoon and Saturday afternoon. And, then next week (M-W), I'm attending a conference for Administrative Professionals in Niagara Falls, Ontario.
And, spring is springing and I'm so glad because I really hate the cold and it's so nice seeing my flowers coming up and being able to sit on my deck and read my book.
And, that's it. My life is up-to-date.
Monday, March 24, 2008
I got married. And, oh my, I'm a different person now than I was then and I'm so glad.
That day, I was a nervous wreck. My parents even let me smoke in the house because I was so nervous.
I got married in my parents' livingroom with only immediate family, aunts and uncles (no cousins) and grandparents and still, I felt like there were too many people. There were only about 30. When my husband to be tried to put the ring on my finger, my fingers were so sweaty, he had a hard time doing it. But, he did and we got married.
I was so insecure at that point in my life. I cried at the drop of a hat or at an annoyed look from my hubby. He hated it. But, the older I got, the more confident I got and I learned to stand up for myself and now he and I 24 years later are solid and content.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
I cried while reading a novel. But, it was so sad...
When he came back and settled in beside her, she reached up slowly, traced the outline of his lips with the tip of her finger. "You first ravished me on the floor in front of a fire, remember?"
He smiled, like a blind woman, she felt his lips curve with the sensitive pad of her finger. "If I remember correctly, you were doing the ravishing."
"And what if I wanted to ravish you now?"
He looked so scared that she wanted to laugh, but it wasn't funny. "Can we?"
He took her in his arms. She knew they were both thinking that she'd lost so much weight there was almost nothing left of her.
Nothing left of her.
She closed her eyes and tightened her hold around his neck.
The bed seemed so big suddenly, like a sea of soft white cotton compared to the bed downstairs that had become hers.
Slowly, Kate took off her robe and peeled out of her nightgown, trying not to notice how white and sticklike her legs were. Even worse was the battlefield that had been her breasts. She looked ruined, like a little boy, only there were the scars.
Johnny stripped out of his clothes, kicked them aside, and climbed back into bed beside her, drawing the covers up to their hips.
Her heart was thumping hard as she looked at him.
"You're so beautiful," he said, and leaned forward to kiss her scars.
Relief and love cracked her open inside. She kissed him, her breath coming hard and ragged already. In their twenty years of marriage, they'd made love thousands of times, and it was always great, but this was different, they had to be gentle. She knew he was terrified of breaking her bones. She hardly remembered later how it had all happened, how she'd come to be on top of him; all she knew was that she needed every part of him, and everything that she was, that she'd ever been was irrevocably tied up with this man. When he finally entered her, slow and easy, filling her, she came down to meet him, and in that glorious second, she was whole again. She bent down and kissed him, tasting his tears.
Finally, smiling, feeling young again, she snuggled up against him. He put an arm around her and pulled her close. They lay there a long time, half sitting against the mound of pillows, watching the firelight, saying nothing.
Then, quietly, Kate said what had been on her mind for a long time. "I can't stand to think of you alone."
"I won't ever be alone. We've got three kids."
"You know what I mean. I'd understand if you and T---"
"Don't." He looked at her finally, and in the eyes she knew as well as her own she saw a pain so deep she wanted to weep.
"It was always you. Just you, Katie. T---- was a one-night stand, a long time ago. I didn't love her then and I never have. Not for a second. You're my heart and soul. My world. How can you not know that?"
She saw the truth in his face, heard it in the tremble in his voice, and she was ashamed of herself. She should have known this all along. "I do know that. I'm just so worried about you and the kids. I hate to think..."
This conversation was like swimming through acid; it burned through flesh and bone. "I know, baby," he said finally. "I know."
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