BKNOCK   235,893
SparkPoints
100,000 or more SparkPoints
 
 
BKNOCK's Recent Blog Entries

EMBARRASSING MEDICAL EXAMS-Joke!

Sunday, November 28, 2010



1. A man comes into the ER and yells . . .'

My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - -
and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald ,
San Francisco


2... At the beginning of my shift
I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.

'Big breaths,'. . . I instructed.
'Yes, they used to be,'. . .replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes ,
Seattle , WA


3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad
news when I told a wife that her husband had
died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her
reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg


4. During a patient's two week follow-up
appointment with his cardiologist, he informed
me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with
one of his medications..
' Which one ?'. .. . I asked. 'The patch...
The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it !'
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped
I wouldn't see.
Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now, the instructions include removal of
the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair ,
Norfolk , VA


5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient,
I asked, 'How long have you been bedridden?'
After a look of complete confusion she answered . . .
' Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
Corvallis , OR


6. I was performing rounds at the
hospital one morning and while checking
up on a man I asked . . .' So how's your
breakfast this morning?' ' It's very good
except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem
to get used to the taste.'. .. . Bob replied.
I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced
a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf ,
Detroit ,


7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room
when a young woman with purple hair styled
into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety
of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing,
entered . . . It was quickly determined that
the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery.. When she was completely disrobed on the operating
table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had
been dyed green and above it there was a
tattoo that read . . .' Keep off the grass.'

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon
wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
which said 'Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.'

Submitted by RN no name,

AND FINALLY!! ! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams... To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing
and further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said. . .
' I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down
her cheeks from laughing so hard . . .

' No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . .
' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener .' '

Dr. wouldn't submit his name....

1 MORE

Baby's First Doctor Visit

This made me laugh out loud.
I hope it will give you a smile!

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

'Breast-fed,' she replied..

'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk.'

I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma,

But I'm glad I came.'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATVHALE 11/30/2010 10:07AM

  These are good, Betsy!


Report Inappropriate Comment
QUIKSYLVER 11/29/2010 10:56AM

    That was too funny!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BKWHITE3 11/28/2010 11:11PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LONG35 11/28/2010 9:51PM

  These were great. Needed a good laugh. Thank you.
Fran

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHRISTURTLE 11/28/2010 9:26PM

    I laughed till I cried! Thank you for brightening my not so good day with those doctor jokes. Until I read them I was feeling just a little down on the medical profession - went to my doctor with a badly swollen right side of my face, one eye so swollen its closed, all as a result of some kind of sting/bite I received on my cheekbone overnight. Doctor's opinion? 'We'll just see what develops...' Thinking maybe he belongs on your list of jokes now I already have an elephant man sized cheek, can't wait for what he thinks is going to come next... at least I can laugh about it now I've read you blog.

Perfect timing to restore my sense of humour, thanks. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
VEGASLADY24 11/28/2010 9:22PM

    These were very cute, thanks for sharing. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEE107 11/28/2010 9:22PM

    lol

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARTOONB 11/28/2010 9:17PM

    Love it! Especially the Oscar Mayer weiner one! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
COTTRELL11 11/28/2010 9:16PM

    Thanks for the chuckles!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
FITNESSLOVE1 11/28/2010 9:12PM

  hahha thats funny.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Black Friday

Friday, November 26, 2010

Well, we never went to sleep on Thursday night!

We went to Wal-mart at 11:30 PM
Unbelievable crowds! People already lining up for 5 am sales!

3:00 AM - Kohls
About 500 people in front of us outside the door

4:00 AM Target
Crazy!

5:00 AM - Belk which is a Department Store

6:00 AM - Breakfast

7:00 AM - Back to my cousins house
Asleep!

10:00 AM -Coffee shop and errands

11:00 AM - Home

12:00 Noon - Lunch with Parents

2:00 - Shopping again

4:30 - Home

Spark
Email
Facebook


The people in the front of the line at Best Buy were in line for 31 hours! They were planning on buying $200 laptops!

And today I woke up with a sore throat! Maybe I am getting a bit old for this stuff!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRISTURTLE 11/29/2010 11:01PM

    Wish we had sales like that here! I'd willingly spend the night on a fold up chair out the front of a store if it meant getting such bargains, lol. Mind you, I may sleep the following 24 hours to make up the missed sleep...

Report Inappropriate Comment
ABIGAILSING 11/27/2010 5:38PM

    Hope you all enjoyed it. That's not for me, though. I prefer to pay a little more and miss those crowds.

Report Inappropriate Comment
STEPHIEKNITS 11/27/2010 12:51PM

    Crazy!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MINDYJ1 11/27/2010 9:54AM

    Hopefully you are taking it easy today!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KENDRACARROLL 11/26/2010 11:27PM

    Why emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STEVENGO2 11/26/2010 9:27PM

    I hate lines! So I avoid them any way I can. I stayed comfy at home and ordered on-line today. I guess you shopped till you dropped!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GEEMAWEST 11/26/2010 9:01PM

    I heard that some people lined up at a Best Buy 4 days early! I decided that I just don't get good enough deals to go without sleep and to fight the crowds. Hope you had fun.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARTOONB 11/26/2010 8:32PM

    Target needs to learn line control! Did you get everything you were after? I started at 3:45 at Target and got home at 2:45 this afternoon. Nap shortly thereafter!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GOROSIEO 11/26/2010 7:06PM

    You are a better woman than I.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEE107 11/26/2010 7:01PM

    lol I wasnt the only nut outside shopping

Report Inappropriate Comment
SOPKAMANJU 11/26/2010 6:34PM

    Hope that you got some your holiday shopping done emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATVHALE 11/26/2010 6:34PM

  Betsy, you are one brave soul! I NEVER do Black Friday! It just isn't worth it to me. I shop all year long for Christmas and mostly online. I am usually done by Black Friday!

I hope it was worth it for you!

Kat

Report Inappropriate Comment
BKWHITE3 11/26/2010 6:24PM

    Hope you got some good bargains.

Report Inappropriate Comment


My Thanksgiving Visitor!

Thursday, November 25, 2010



I think this is some sort of Falcon? He let me get about 5 feet from him when he finally flew away. He was absolutely beautiful!

Happy Thanksgiving!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STEVENGO2 11/27/2010 11:49AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATVHALE 11/26/2010 5:52PM

  They are beautiful aren't they? We have hawks here too and one landed on our fence in the back and just sat there for about 30 minutes one day. I took pictures too!

Kat

Report Inappropriate Comment
STEPHIEKNITS 11/26/2010 4:19PM

    Beautiful!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEALTHYONE2008 11/26/2010 10:49AM

    Great picture, he is beautiful.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EDUCGRAD 11/26/2010 9:25AM

    WOW!!so cool.We love birds

Report Inappropriate Comment
ABIGAILSING 11/26/2010 12:43AM

    That's a coopers hawk. We have them here every winter.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARTOONB 11/25/2010 10:34PM

    Cool that you could get so close! Happy T-Day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAYDE53 11/25/2010 10:05PM

    Awesome, great pic!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CDAWN26 11/25/2010 7:24PM

    Great picture! What a great surprise. Happy Thanksgiving!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SAMMYSWEETPEA 11/25/2010 5:45PM

    What a great picture! Thanks for sharing it with us. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BKWHITE3 11/25/2010 4:42PM

    Great picture!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GEEMAWEST 11/25/2010 3:38PM

    Are you sure it wasn't a turkey hiding fromThanksgiving? emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/25/2010 3:38:33 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEE107 11/25/2010 1:37PM

    looks like one HAPPY THANKSGIVING

Report Inappropriate Comment


Quote!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

"Doesn't matter what other people do. The only competition you should beat is yourself. So strive to be better each day."

- Sheila dela Pena



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHYONE2008 11/26/2010 10:51AM

    Great one. I'm still pressing on!

Report Inappropriate Comment
STEVENGO2 11/25/2010 6:40AM

    emoticon I love to compete, especially with myself.

Report Inappropriate Comment
CARTOONB 11/25/2010 12:03AM

    Amen!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEE107 11/24/2010 6:05PM

    good one

Report Inappropriate Comment
BKWHITE3 11/24/2010 4:50PM

    emoticon emoticonquote.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KATVHALE 11/24/2010 1:57PM

  Problem is, I even lose to myself! I am not much of a competitor! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KENK77 11/24/2010 10:14AM

  emoticon Thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CINDYLOU_WHO 11/24/2010 10:11AM

    emoticon

Thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SCHMEVELYN 11/24/2010 10:10AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALEXIA17LOVE 11/24/2010 10:02AM

    nice one!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Quote!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

You're alive. That means you have infinite potential. You can do anything, make anything, dream anything. If you change the world, the world will change."

- Neil Gaiman



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARTOONB 11/23/2010 10:05PM

    I like it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GRANDMA2001 11/23/2010 9:40PM

    that is a beautiful tree.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEE107 11/23/2010 9:19PM

    thanks for sharing

Report Inappropriate Comment
BKWHITE3 11/23/2010 3:34PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STEVENGO2 11/23/2010 11:37AM

    Awesome picture as always. Live your dreams!

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 Last Page