Subject: 9 Months Later!!! (Joke)

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Subject: 9 Months Later!!!


Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob.
So they loaded up Jack's mini-van and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a
terrible blizzard.

So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.


'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbor's will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.'

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from
an attorney.

It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked,

'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do,' Said Bob .

'Did you, err, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes!' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'

'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?... you know you smiled...now keep that smile for the rest of the day!) ------ ;-)

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATVHALE 1/6/2010 8:44AM

Jack surely lucked out didn't he??? Kat Report Inappropriate Comment

CURVYCC 1/6/2010 8:40AM

GREAT ENDING TO A WONDERFUL JOKE Report Inappropriate Comment

EM4488 1/5/2010 10:32PM

Wonderful!! Hahaha!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

CARTOONB 1/5/2010 9:40PM

Yea...that didn't like I thought it would! LOL!! Report Inappropriate Comment

LORI2008 1/5/2010 9:30PM

Awesome! That was good! Report Inappropriate Comment

LINDAKAY228 1/5/2010 3:20PM

That was funny ! I was so totally expecting a different ending. Report Inappropriate Comment

HANDBOOK 2010 (Good email I received)

Monday, January 04, 2010

HANDBOOK 2010

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past that will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least:
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about, I just did.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATVHALE 1/6/2010 8:42AM

Thanks for sharing Betsy; now if we all would put all of this into action, what a wonderful world this would be! Kat Report Inappropriate Comment

CDAWN26 1/5/2010 10:52AM

This is good advice for 2010. I must remember to incorporate them into my goals as well. Report Inappropriate Comment

JUNIAATROME 1/5/2010 12:43AM

I like 37 most: the best is yet to come! That's the attitude to bring you through life even when you are 100 years old! Report Inappropriate Comment

DEE107 1/4/2010 3:41PM

great blog thanks for sharing Report Inappropriate Comment

SCOOTS67 1/4/2010 11:56AM

This is great. There is a lot of thing that I already do but something I never thought of. I'm going to try and incorporate more of this in my daily life. Thanks Report Inappropriate Comment

AK28STAR 1/4/2010 11:53AM

Good advice! Report Inappropriate Comment

The Holy Alphabet...This is Beautiful (Poem)

Sunday, January 03, 2010

The Holy Alphabet...This is Beautiful

Whoever came up with this one must have had some Divine guidance!

Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow

God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of " Camp Complaining "
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, But...
Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!


"I AM Too blessed to be stressed!"

The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knees and the floor.
The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.

Love and peace be with you forever, Amen.

PS: GOD LOVES YOU...PASS THE WORD ON TO MORE FRIENDS AND ASK THEM TO CONTINUE TELLING OTHERS THAT GOD LOVES THEM TOO.

JUST THINK OF HOW MANY PEOPLE THAT COULD BE REACHED OUT TO AND BLESSED WITH THESE WORDS.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHDMAMA06 1/3/2010 8:48PM

How beautiful! Thank you for posting it. Report Inappropriate Comment

KATVHALE 1/3/2010 8:45PM

It sure does make a lot of sense! Thanks Betsy! Kat Report Inappropriate Comment

EDUCGRAD 1/3/2010 4:25PM

thanks for sharing! Report Inappropriate Comment

VALI_T 1/3/2010 11:37AM

This is wonderful. Thank you for posting it. Report Inappropriate Comment

DEE107 1/3/2010 9:44AM

Thanks for sharing this Its great will use this I know for some friends Hugs Report Inappropriate Comment

MINDYJ1 1/3/2010 9:12AM

It is beautiful! Report Inappropriate Comment

Happy New Year To All!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

I just wanted to sign on quick and wish everyone a Happy New Year. I hope that 2010 will bring many of us closer to our healthy goals right here together on Spark People.

Happy New Year!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOYYAK 1/2/2010 10:53AM

Betsy- Happy New Year to you, too! This will be a good year for all of us! Joyce Report Inappropriate Comment

JUNIAATROME 1/2/2010 3:51AM

And a HAPPY NEW YEAR to you, dear Betsy! May it be all you wish for. Report Inappropriate Comment

CARTOONB 1/2/2010 1:03AM

Right back at you! Hope this year is all you hope and plan for! Report Inappropriate Comment

MARIASCHOICE 1/1/2010 2:14AM

Happy New Year To You! Report Inappropriate Comment

ANGELALEGNA 12/31/2009 11:40PM

Happy new year to you too. Report Inappropriate Comment

RUBYTOOSHOES 12/31/2009 11:39PM

Happy new year to you, too! Report Inappropriate Comment

It is Cold in NC!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I tried to walk outside today and only lasted for about 10 minutes. The wind was way too cold. Life is going okay these days and I am enjoying my time off of work. It is going way too fast though! My nephew is coming tonight to spend a couple of days with me so that should be fun too! He is 12 years old. I am not sure what we will be doing as of yet but we will figure something out.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KATVHALE 12/31/2009 8:48AM

Enjoy the rest of your vacation with your nephew and stay warm!! Take him to see The Blind Side; it is a very good movie and one that everyone should see! Hollywood doesn't make enough movies like this... Kat Report Inappropriate Comment

CDAWN26 12/30/2009 9:21AM

It was very cold yesterday...I not sure if today will be any better. I can't believe your nephew is 12 now. Wow! time is flying by so quickly. Take care and give your wii a run for it. Report Inappropriate Comment

ABIGAILSING 12/29/2009 9:16PM

Have fun. PS: It is cold in the top of Texas too. 34 degrees. I am sure it is colder there, though. Comment edited on: 12/29/2009 9:17:48 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

DBELLE39 12/29/2009 9:01PM

BRRR---it is cold, here on the coast, temps are supposed to get down to 26 --not the temps we are accustomed to ---I can deal with mid 30's but once the they drop below 30, it's like we can't handle the cold -- I definitely couldn't live in one of the northern states where it really does get cold! Have a great time with your nephew! Report Inappropriate Comment