BIONIC2's Recent Blog Entries

Made it to AZ!

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

This is gonna be quick but felt the need to give a short update.....
Made it to AZ a month ago
Found a's under contract....close on the 21st.....can't WAIT!
Living on base in a little apartment....getting cabin fever!
Joined a's small, friendly, and the classes are kicking my butt!
Been on SparkPeople for 2 years now!
MUST change my SparkPage...will get to it soon...
AND will get back to all my SparkFriends.....I miss you!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHY4JEANNE 9/14/2010 1:43PM

    miss you too!
:) jeanne

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BEANCOUNTER2 9/7/2010 2:16PM

    Wahoo to you-will be good to catch up once you catch your breath! Polly

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Moving Day!

Monday, July 19, 2010

So, I'm sitting here on the floor in our computer room writing on the laptop as our "real" computer is all set to be packed away. The only other person in the house is some guy (who's really cute) from the moving company who is upstairs packing up our spare bedroom...he may be on to my son's room by now. And I just can't believe this day is finally here *she's states with relief*
It's a bitter sweet ending to 3 years here in the UK. Although we love the adventure of moving to a new location we thought we'd be here another year. I'm finding this move the most difficult of all. I've made really good friends here, my husband has felt like he belongs, and our son was well settled in at his school making great progress. Ah, that's life in the Air Force though.
Most significant of all for me about this move is the fact that I will be leaving 60 pounds behind and, believe you me, it can STAY! I came here weighing over 230 pounds! I couldn't believe the pictures of me that got put into an album for a going away gift. Some folks don't even remember me looking like that. I sure do! I remember how it felt too! If it weren't for the fact that I had to get my son to pre-school I don't think I would have left the house. (Except to get more food, of course.) I thought I was eating myself happy while I was missing the USA, my family, my friends. But I was miserable.
Then, a year later......SparkPeople! 'Nough said! Now, although I still would like to lose some more fat, I can move on to our next home (Tucson, AZ) without my weight being the focus of my life. We're excited about our new location because of all the sports activities it offers. There is so much to look forward to and the best part about it is I won't feel restricted because of my weight. What a great feeling!
So, there's just one week left here. We've slept our last night in our house. Now we're staying with friends here in town so I can still walk our son to school. He's got a friend's birthday party on Saturday and then Sunday we are USA bound. Two weeks in VA with family and friends to our new lives in Tucson.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNIEONLI 9/1/2010 6:51PM

    Hey lady! I hope the move went well...I'm just popping by SPFriend pages, and I haven't heard from you in a while. Lots of stuff in AZ to do...and beautiful weather ...a dry heat. :) Drop me a note when you get a chance!


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HEALTHY4JEANNE 8/25/2010 1:23PM

    I hope your new life is going great back in the states!

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EGKENT 7/20/2010 3:47PM

    You'll enjoy AZ. We're stationed at Luke AFB here in AZ and we love it. Great weather, just a little hot sometimes!

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MAGPIE17 7/19/2010 9:44AM

    Hope the move goes well! Leave that 60 lbs behind!

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FOREVERFIT4LIFE 7/19/2010 7:22AM

    Wishing you the best! Have a very safe move. If only we all got to see as many places as your family has had the opportunity to experience. I know it isn't always easy, but the true friendships will last a lifetime regardless of distance!

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COLEENCOLE 7/19/2010 7:01AM

    I hope all is smooth sailing for you and yours.

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MARYJOANNA 7/19/2010 5:21AM

  You can see the world in the Air Force! Best wishes on your new location and your move.

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Comfort Zones

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Don't like leavin' 'em....


A Conversation With My Scale

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

emoticonI told you so!
emoticonI know....I knew you were right, I just didn't want to admit it....
emoticonYou stay away from me for that long and continue to eat the way you're eating and that's what happens.
emoticonYea, well, breaking this sugar habit is hard...not to mention the weather, if the sun would just shine then maybe I'd feel better, more motivated....
emoticonYou know those are just've really got to want this to make it happen.
emoticonTrue, so that's what I keep asking myself...Do I really want this? This being another 30 pounds gone. I mean, I'm happy with what I've accomplished so far and I don't look like the "fat friend" anymore.....
emoticonBut what about your original goal? What about your rewards? What about your health, the diamonds, those size 10 jeans?!
emoticonSize 10?! Right!
emoticonYes! RIGHT! It is possible and you CAN do it. Here, put it in a numbers only have to lose 50% of what you've already lost...your 2/3s of the way there....
emoticonYea, but it's this last 30 that are so dang hard! I've got the goal, I've got the want, but I just don't seem to have the drive....
emoticonWell, look at how hard you've been working at getting your Spark back. You're logging on regularly now, you're back in the habit of tracking, you've got the short term goal of staying within range now, you've joined two new teams ('cause teams are what helped you in the beginning), and you've got some great SparkFriends who aren't giving up on you....
emoticonThat's true...I've really reached out lately to keep me going and I haven't been let down...
emoticonThat's right, and don't forget all that regular excercise that you HAVEN'T given up on....
emoticonYea! I'm always at the gym or jogging somewhere...I love working on my abs AND I can do 9 manly push-ups now....IN A ROW!'re using the SparkRecipies again, making out shopping lists....really trying to get back to what helped you be so successful before.
emoticonyea, I sure have learned a lot in the last year and a half about what works for me.
emoticonSo.....what are you worried about? You know what works, you know you're successful when you WANT to be know you CAN fit into a pair of size 10 jeans by this fall..So just get out there and DO IT!
emoticonAll right, all right....ALL RIGHT! I'm going to make this spring and summer successful, I'm going to use what I know about myself, my SparkFriends, and my SparkTeams to get into those size 10s! I can, I will, I am!
emoticonGood girl, you keep up with that and you'll see what you want to see from me next week, I promise.
emoticonOK! See you next Wednesday! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHY4JEANNE 4/1/2010 2:56PM

    Love this!
:) Jeanne

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JMACKENJ 3/31/2010 4:13PM

    emoticon Blog!! emoticon Your scale is so smart! emoticon emoticon

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MENUNU 3/31/2010 12:35PM

    haha! I like this.

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CHOCMOM 3/31/2010 11:37AM

  emoticon emoticon When my scale starts talking to me - I will probably emoticon (just kidding Mr. Scale.... please don't be mad)

Thanks for the good blog.

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ANNIEONLI 3/31/2010 11:12AM

    Bootstraps baby - Bootstraps!! Time to grab them and get going again!! Let me tell you a little secret...taking breaks is OK and nothing to beat yourself up about. In fact, most of my success has come from those breaks and getting back the motivation and the drive, just like you are doing those size 10s - totally doable!!!! IMO - Those breaks reset the metabolic clock and before you know it, you are losing again....but the other key is to track your nutrition (to make sure you are eating right & getting enough cals) and drink your water. Use the trackers - they are key!

Now get moving and in honor of your epiphany....I'm chugging some water!! Won't you join me!?! Cheers!! emoticon

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XIOMI1209 3/31/2010 11:01AM

    Totally love your blog! LOL! I love your sense of humor and honestly this is a conversation we all have more than once. Thanks for sharing...Made me laugh hard... Great motivation and I agree with MOMM4LIFE very positive conversation...Where did you purchase this talking scale? LOL

Have a wonderful rest of your week!

emoticon emoticon

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MOMM4LIFE 3/31/2010 10:57AM

    emoticon Nice conversation with the scale and I might add that you were very positive in your exchange with your scale emoticon. emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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A Lot to Say

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

It's about time I blogged. I feel I've been neglecting my SparkPeople habit...
My husband, son and I just returned Sunday from a nine day trip to Egypt. What a trip of a lifetime! We needed a holiday and wanted to combine sun/heat with culture. We got it! The weather was perfect for me...hovering around 90 with no humidity...and we saw something interesting everyday....make that MANY interesting things everyday. Aswan, a cruise on the Nile, Luxor and Cairo and all that goes with each of those kind of sums it up. We took over 1000 pictures! We've weeded them down to about 400 quality ones though. If you're up to the task you can check them out here:
The best part of the trip? Allowing myself to be photographed with no worry about whether or not I'd want to delete the picture....even in my swimsuit!
The worst part of the trip was deboarding the plane back here in England....brrrr! I wanted to cry!
And here's why....
I forgot to take my prescription meds with me on the trip. Some of you might know that that means I've been over a week now without my Zoloft. I take it mainly for anxiety issues but there's definitely a hint of depression that is erased with my meds. When I first realized I didn't have my “happy pills” (BTW, I never call them that in front of my kid, they're just pills that keep me healthy....) I was more worried I'd suffer a migraine. Luckily that didn't happen. Then, after a few days, I noticed I wasn't experiencing the paralyzing angst and sweaty palms that I was so accustomed to years ago. I think I can chalk that up to sunshine. There was LOTS of it and I was out in it walking everyday. Then, the dam husband only had to say one thing a little off kilter about me (which is a whole 'nother blog!) and the waterworks started. It was over dinner and luckily we were in our hotel so I just excused myself and went back to the room. The trip went on, but it wasn't quite the same because the conversation we'd had dredged up so many other hurtful things. Things I'm usually happy to brush off. But without meds they matter a whole lot more. Here's the rub....I'm actually (in a very weird way) enjoying feeling these feelings. I can't say I've been numb while taking my meds, just more even keel, less sensitive. But now I wonder if I've been letting him get away with too much. He can be a real jerk and he knows that but he's been lucky in that I've been able to sort of hold it together and not fly off the handle. Perhaps if I flew off the handle a little more often he'd be less likely to open his mouth when he's not got something nice to say! Good thing I'm writing this down, 'cause I think it's exactly what I need to say to him....Ultimately, I'm miserable without my meds (and the binge eating....don't get me started! Bag of Baked Lays anyone? With a side of 2 cups of sour cream? It WAS low fat sour cream!) but at what cost to my dignity am I taking them as they tend to hide my true feelings from the people who most need to know them?
Why? Why? Why? Why do I look at pictures of people I don't even know?! I've just joined wastebook and although I'm enjoying some of the contacts of people from my recent past....really? Why is it that the people who invented this modern sin think that I want to know what my friend's friend's friend looks like?!
Perhaps it's the lack of meds but I just want it ALL out. All the clutter GONE! I'm ready to say “screw the environment” and just put it all in big black bin bags and chuck it in the landfill! Seriously, if it weren't for the guilt factor and feeling like everything needs a home I think I'd have a fairly clutter-free home. (Seriously though, after seeing all the filth piled up in the streets, canals, and river Nile I'm quickly feeling like I'm a spokesperson for the green movement.) Unfortunately I don't have the gumption to go along with that guilt....I'd rather be looking at my friend's friend's friend's picture. Actually I've got a sort of action plan going already....most of that crap (old clothes, old paperwork, old toys.....) is hiding behind the closed door of what used to be called the guest bedroom. Now, I just need someone to say they're coming for a visit and I'll HAVE to do something with it all. Charity shops mostly, but sometimes even that seems like too much of a task. Can I just have random strangers come into my house and pick what they want and take it? Oh yea, that's called a yard sale isn't it? They don't do those here though. It's a boot sale.....selling things out of the trunk of your car with 100 other people trying to make a buck off their junk in the middle of a poo-filled cow pasture. Not for me really.....Perhaps I shall fill one bin bag a day and take it to it's appropriate new home? That seems why are my palms getting sweaty just thinking about it? Must.....take....meds.....This is all must-do stuff by the way, and here's why:
In August, or thereabouts, the Air Force is moving us. Don't know where just yet. Before we left for Egypt we had to put in our top choices for another overseas assignment. We've chosen a huge base in Germany for its location, not for its amenities of which there are many but we're just not that into living in a “little America” -or- another base here in the UK where I'm not sure I can take another winter. It was either those or Korea...... A big part of me hopes we get neither and we can get back to the states. However, the choices there aren't all that great either and it's hard to say no to the opportunity to live around the world. So...the purging must begin. Can't believe how much crap one little family can acquire in 3 years time! And just like my 40th birthday last year this move seems to be a good motivator for me. When I started using SparkPeople I wanted to lose 40 pounds by the time I turned 40. GOAL MET!! (plus 20 more...) Now, I'd like to reach my goal weight of 145 by moving day.
So I've got this goal to reach 145 by moving day which is a change from my original dream weight goal of my 41st birthday in April. Had to change it because the more I ate and didn't track, the less likely it became that I would reach that goal. I had a little reality check with myself and decided I'm OK with waiting a little longer for those diamonds. But I want them by the end of August! So a couple other goals must be put in place so that I might achieve the 145. Two come to mind right away. First, I must return to my tracking roots. I credit a lot of my initial success to the tracking I did. So, I will start a tracking streak....don't think I can dive head first into this one so baby steps will be the name of the game here. I'm going to treat myself to something special (list to follow later) after I've tracked three full days of food intake starting........oh, alright.....starting TODAY!! It won't be pretty as I've already consumed mindlessly 5 servings of luncheon meat.....Anyway....and the other goal is to compete in the Cricklade triathlon again in June. Doing it a little bit differently this year though. I'm going to do it as part of a relay team. I'm swimming (1500 meters I believe), my husband's biking, and my brother may come for a visit and do the run. So, I'm going to be working on my swim times and hope I can do the swim in 30 minutes. That's going to be some tough training because although I can swim, I don't have a lot of speed. I'm curious to see how much I can improve over a few months time. It'll be a great talking point too for......
For those of you who have made it this far you get some bonus information about me. I just may have the chance to spread the Spark here in the UK....big time! I've had an initial phone interview with a freelance journalist who may be writing a piece for a national newspaper. The UK publisher of The Spark has asked her to help publicize it and they gave her MY name. She'll be putting the story idea to the paper and then getting back to me. If it all goes through I get to do a photo shoot including having my hair and make-up done. What fun! And what a great way to keep me motivated! Hope I didn't just jinx the whole thing....I'll be sure to update you as soon as I know what 's happening.
Please, be patient with me....those of you who continue to support me, check in with me, encourage me...THANKYOU. I don't say it enough and I don't reciprocate your good deeds enough. I will get to each of you on a more personal note over the next few days.....because you deserve it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FOREVERFIT4LIFE 3/6/2010 10:07AM

    Oh no I wrote a huge blog response and it didn't post!!!!
Arg! Your Egypt pics looked phenomenal! I wish I get the chance to see 1/4 of the places you've been able to experience in your life. Amazing!

As for hubby, now that your home and back on the meds, you two should maybe sit down and discuss some of the problems now that your both level headed and able to cool down. He can't blame it on you for not being on your prescriptions. Just remember to talk and not yell. That's MY problem. I get so emotional I tend to get loud and wonder why he raises his voice back. Something we are working on.

I understand the side effects your talking about, void of emotion. I was on Effexor for awhile, and hated the feeling. I ended up going off it. Plus the added weight gain was too much for me. I have similar effects from being on the BC pill. I'm going to have to go back on it soon -4 the wedding- and I'm nervous! I don't want to be void of emotion. Maybe there is another med they can try?

Let me know how it goes! Miss ya

Love Marie

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HEALTHY4JEANNE 3/2/2010 7:16AM

I understand your blog on many levels.
As far as DH. It is important to stand up for yourself and let him know how you feel. I was one that would bury how I felt for years. I will be married to DH 20 years this April. I just started asking for help this year and standing up for myself. Funny thing, he did not even know how bad he was hurting my feelings. I hate confrontation... I am learning there is a difference between confrontation and speaking my feelings. Although sometimes they go hand in hand. In my case when my husband is not kind, I ask him how he would feel if someone talked to our girls in that manner. HE ALWAYS APOLOGIZES! TO ME AND THEN TO THEM FOR BEING MEAN TO ME. It is one small victory I have under my belt.
AWESOME NEWS!!!! I hope that they do a spark article featuring you! How cool is that?!!!! I am so proud of you! You can meet your goals. You CAN!
Moving again. Geez, I have been in this house for 20 years. I can't imagine what i could purge. I use It is world wide I believe. I purge my house a lot!
My mom was a junk collector. It is a difficult thing. cleaning through her belongings was difficult. I don't want my kids to go through that. After she died. I started buying jewelry on trips. No one threw that away while going through her stuff. :)
You are inspiring.
:) Jeanne

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LINDA! 2/24/2010 10:12AM

    I am happy that you shared your blog with us. I know that there was some sadness in there. I understand....I take Lexapro for anxiety/depression issues. I hope that by pouring out your feelings you are feeling a lot better now. I am hoping that you reach your goals. Well, I know you will. Keep on keeping on!! emoticon

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TISMELEELEE 2/24/2010 6:45AM

  I'll come for a visit if that'll help you clean!! emoticon

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