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My Coffee and Me... A True Addict

Thursday, May 08, 2008

My Coffee and Me.... A True Addict from a Chronically Depressed BBM

I made a challenge to myself and my friends on the 50 Plus For All Team that I would cut back one more cup of my morning coffee. This may not seem like much of a challenge to anyone who doesn't know me but I used to live on my coffee. Eight, 10, 12 cups a day; each with 2 1/2 spoons of sugar and a heaping tsp. of Coffee Mate and not the low-fat kind, either.

Drink coffee, smoke cigarettes and be active in the yard & house has always kept me fairly thin. Ten pound gain during the winters always came off easily once Spring came. If all I did was drink coffee all day, have a snack meal around 3:00 and dinner about 7 or 8 and I seldom ate much anyway, why did I put on all this weight in the last 2 years? I was active eNUFF! My motto used to be: "Don't deny yourself the foods you love because you may die tomorrow and you should have enjoyed it while you had the chance."

I joined SP 76 days ago. One of the first things I learned about was starvation mode and how bad refined sugar is for your body. I used to go through a 4# bag of sugar a week, panic when I didn't have a spare bag in the cupboard and had axiety attacks when I was nearly out and had forgotten to to go to the store.

Week One of SP, one of my goals was to drop down to just 3 cups per day and instead of coffee, I'd actually eat food during the day. Now, the only foods I like are full of fattening, high calorie carbs (chips & salsa? pizza rolls? natchos? Cocoa Puffs? These things are BAD for you?) and to eat a piece of fruit was disgusting and the only vegies I ever eat come out of a can & they'd better be corn, green beans or hominy. Forget all those nasty rotten weed looking things and mushy peas.

To the store I go. Bought tangerines, mandarines, green seedless grapes, a canteloupe, salad lettuce, cauliflower & broccoli. Cut my coffee intake from 3 cups a day down to two after one week. Exercised to Zumba dvd's, ST dvd's, walked the neighborhood and even to the store a mile away a few times and took my dog for walks. Read labels and logged my food & exercise faithfully after eating or working out. I talked to ppl here all day everyday. I had friends. I had someone to talk to. People talked back to me. I gave advice and received it. I was jubilant and motivated all day long to keep my calories within my range, actually started eating a little something for breakfast, and ate every 2 hours after that and actually began to even like water. I was here on the computer for several hours every day to grab all the sparkpoints possible in a day, write 30+ emails but read closer to 75, and have not had a bad funk for a long, long time because my friends here kept me pumped.

Then I made the challenge. Drop myself down to just one cup of coffee per day. I wrote it. You all encouraged me. I have spiraled down ever since.

Day 1 .... Drank one cup and ate something about every hour to control the hunger pangs.
Day 2 .... Drank one cup, ate every hour or less, started to have feelings of anger
Day 3 .... Drank one cup. Started to eat my mandarine for breakfast, said to hell with this and got another cup of coffee. Then a 3rd, then a 4th and ended up drinking 6 cups and was literally sick to my stomach the rest of the night. I didn't eat any fruit. I didn't eat any vegies. I ate chips... and more chips... and then went to the store and bought another bag. The kind I love.... the kind with sour cream & onion flavoring all over them and I ate the bag... the entire thing and said just screw the logging of my food. Screw the exercise. I'm not doing it. I'm eating what I want and am not going to count out 12 chips & stop because I- WANT- IT- ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Day 4-6 .... Drank all the coffee I wanted all day and didn't work out one lick. Was busy outside and being in the sun planting flowers makes me happy plus I had someone here to BE with all day I had my coffee back! I got so much done!
Day 7 .... Cloudy and rainy all day... nothing to do but sit here & watch TV with Robin on his last day of vacation. He's reading the newspaper and it takes him hours if he works the crossword & brain games. So I get my laptop. Haven't logged in to SP for several days and I'm missing my friends and needed someone to perk me up. My mood was as gray as the sky. I'm still angry at every thing and every one. Can't put my finger on the 'why'... just that I 'am'. HE makes a snide comment about how much time I spend on the computer any more. I guess he thinks I'm ignoring him but I seldom log on while he's here at night but he was home all day for nearly a week and my routine had gotten all messed up and I had over 200 emails to read & respond to. And, HE wasn't talking to me anyway... HE had his nose in the paper. SO, the anger took over & I slammed the box shut. It was not a good night.
8 (present day) Cloudy again today. They said the sun was going to shine. Guess they meant somewhere else. I'm still angry. Yes, I am taking my Zoloft, but it hasn't worked since I forgot to those 4 days 2 weeks ago.

I'm alone again and first thing after taking Robin to work at 6:15 was to get on here and try to get back on track, talking to my friends, greeting newbies, grabbing sparkpoints.... needing to get back in the groove.

The spunk is gone. I'm in a funk. Drank 3 cups of coffee already and the thought of food makes me want to puke. I got caught up on my bikini bootcamp videos but that didn't help my mood. I hate it and am forcing myself to do it. I just hate exercise, period. Don't we all? I tried to write some positive emails/posts but the cheerier I tried to sound, the more down I got because I just wasn't feeling it. SP, in an inspirational email yesterday said to pump yourself up, you need to pump up someone else. To motivate yourself, you need to motivate someone else. To inspire yourself, you need to inspire someone else. It feels good helping other ppl and the more you help, the better you'll feel.

It didn't work. Encouraging words from my friends didn't help. No one can do anything for me when I can't do for myself. I have to make up my own mind that I want this for myself and until I can do that again I can't be active in the threads. My bubble has burst and I need to find a way to blow it up again. Has the newness worn off like it did with myspace? I go gung ho and then fall off a cliff when my expectations exceed reality? I've lost a measly 13 pounds in 76 days & have 20 more to go b4 June 1st... my target date... and I don't see that happening at this rate until the end of summer... long past the time of wearing a bathing suit in the pool. I don't want to go back to the way I was but I don't want to do what I need to do to get where I want to be, either! I don't want to eat. I don't want to drink water. I don't want to exercise. The pressure of having so much that I need to do, besides the stuff here on SP, is building to anxiety levels and I feel like I've lost all control. So, do I hit POST now or DELETE?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARLI_MAE 6/26/2008 7:52PM

    Ok, GwenDOLyn! I came here wondering why I hadn't seen you. I've been where you are, and I know sometimes the last thing you want to hear is a bunch of platitudes. You won't get any from me.
Sometimes it helps me to just step back until the "fog" clears. Stressing out over it just makes it worse. I'm not going to tell you to pick yourself up by your bootstrings either ... I'd like to see the person who can literally manage that one, myself! You sound like me ... want to do it all at the same time. Forget that. This is what my brother said to me once, and it works for me ... maybe it will for you too. "Just do ONE thing every day." ONE! See what happens. Read my updated sparkpage (I've really put myself out there... oh geez!).
Like everyone else, I miss you, and I want you back! But I can be patient FOR you, while you're still trying to find your own.

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SHAKENBAKE 6/6/2008 6:07AM

    Hi there,
Woke up early and made myself write an update to my blog and came across your page. I really enjoyed reading it. It's now 5:00am in the morning and I have had my two cups of decaf and certainly can understand your frustrations, however, your humour has made my day. It's funny the challenges we go through, regarding the choices we make everyday. I am so proud of you for being able to acknowledge the changes you know you have to make. Dr. Phil would say, "you cannot change what you do not acknowledge" I know doing it is sometimes more difficult than ever. I hope the summer weather has got you motivated and that you have been able to get out and enjoy it. I've been planting flowers as well. I have even planted a small garden. :) Have a great day. You are in my thoughts, hugs, Wanda

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KYLIEMC8 6/3/2008 7:56PM

    OMG!! We've missed you..come to us.. Like Ginger said..we've all gone through it! So get up off yer kiester and shake it around! emoticon

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    emoticonOk Gwen now I see where you have gone!Gwen, Gwen, Gwen!We all have felt the way you do from time to time if not I would be very surprised!I drink coffee probably more then most a pot or two a day!I am addicted and I most likely always will be .Hey I gave up smoking when I was 25 cant quit all my vices!I am not going to worry about it.You are a very attractive lady and you are lucky to be so tall and the list goes on.You NEED to lean on your friends when you feel this way you do not have to be the rock of gibralter!We cant help you if you dont talk to us!Each of us cant always be the support sometimes we have to need the support!Thats why my TEAM B AND B was formed to help everyone like yourself because from time to time we all need help!Come back to your friends Gwen we are waiting here for you to cry on our shoulders!Its gotten me thru more then a few times when all I wanted to do was hang it up! emoticon emoticon

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HENRYSMOM0215 5/11/2008 7:49PM

    WWHHEEEWWW and I wondered where the heck you were! As you've already heard, 13 lbs is great, better than the TEN I'VE GAINED!!! Coffee; thats a tough one, I make a pot as soon as I get to my office and finish it by the time I leave. I don't eat much during the day but do eat bfast before I start my coffee marathon. Problem is I quit drinking it about 5pm and eat every darn thing in the house after that. Not sure WHAT the answer is, just know I don't have it yet. My addiction of the moment seems to be sugar in any form. I ALWAYS have an addiction but trust me, it could be much worse than coffee or sugar; been there done that. Keep in touch sweetie, it does help....di

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MSKELLEY 5/10/2008 9:53AM

    Gwen, I forgot one or two more things (I am always TALKING!): When I started this lifestyle journey change -- I had OVER 100 POUNDS to lose! Looking at that amount was so incredibly HUGE that I decided I had to take my journey in SMALL steps: the first 10 lbs., then 15 lbs., then 20 lbs.. etc. That seemed to help but the ONE THING THAT HELPED ME the most was this: Take 15 minutes at a time. So... when I want something that I know is not healthy for my journey -- I say to myself... I'm giving myself 15 minutes. I can get through the next 15 minutes without eating that... anyone can get through 15 minutes. After the first 15 minutes... I say.... okay... so I can get thru the next 15 minutes...

Taking 15 minutes at a time on this journey has changed my life, AND my body... I am NOT the same gal I was 17 weeks ago. I'm not. NOR ARE YOU!

So... come on... shake it off, pull yourself back up, get dressed and go buy that bigger coffee cup! emoticon YOU can do this!!

Comment edited on: 5/10/2008 10:54:33 AM

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BABSDOTTER 5/10/2008 8:54AM

    OK Gwen...I could repeat everything that's already been said. The way I see it is that you took off too big a bite to chew. Small steps lead to success. If you normally drink 12 cups...try to drink just 11 cups for a few days, etc. Caffeine is so addictive there is no way you could go from 12 to 1 and not go crazy.

Don't beat up on yourself, and slow down the pace of your goals. You will get there, but it takes time. We're trying to make a total change in our lifestyles. It's taken 50 years to develop those bad habits, so it's going to take more than a few months to unlearn them.

PS. Glad you hit 'post' because you obviously have a lot of people here to help you. Consider yourself fortunate

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MCDLADY1 5/9/2008 9:31PM

    Okay Girlie I'm here to kick you in the backside, with not much room to talk tonight I went to Cheddars had a Bellini had some chips and queso, had some ribs some shrimp some cheesy brocolli and a baked potato. But you know what SO WHAT sometimes you just have to splurge.
So have the stupid coffee........ I always say don't deprive yourself or you will never succeed.

13 lbs is huge it takes some people 6 months or a year to lose that much.

SO................... Do whatever you need to do tonight and tomorrow start over
Drink Water
Go buy some yummy looking fruits
Figure out what veggies you'll actually eat
Talk to all of us
Call me.........if needed..........I will talk to you

are motivating to a lot of us and look at those before picks you look amazing and you got "Your Jeans" on.


yes I was yelling but you need it.

Okay off my soap box seriously call me to talk or walk or go to the store with you or whatever if needed.Kerri

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TLAIR0468 5/9/2008 4:18PM

    After thinking about you a bit more, I wanted to ask you something. I know you are in a funk and feeling pretty down; you've gotten some good advice, so now I am curious...what choice do you have? Either just stay in your funk or pull yourself up, right? So really, you only have one choice, right? Sometimes we do things because we WANT to, other times we do things because we HAVE to. So, I wanna hear some cheer coming from you...I know where you live and I WILL come knocking on your door. emoticon

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MSKELLEY 5/9/2008 3:12PM

    Gwen, okay... so I rally with everything Tam said... and I have a bit more to say:

I don't think coffee is a bad thing. I have ONE HUGE cup of coffee a day - sometimes two depending on my stress level... I say this... MAYBE YOU should get a larger cup! HA!

Everyone loses weight at different rates. THE IMPORTANT THING here... is to remember YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT!

It's YOUR POOL!! Who cares that the bikini is a bit tight? SERIOUSLY, Gwen... I'm 49 years old and I have NEVER worn a bikini... not even when I was thin... PLUS... I've read the posts.. I know that even the young guys think you are HOT... I'd be thrilled if I had a younger guy think I was HOT.

I know you are better than this, Gwen. I know you have struggled, and worked, and have given this your all... WHY spin totally the opposite direction? Yes... everyone has bad days. Heaven knows, I've had mine. Just don't stay down. Don't wallow. Pick yourself up... go buy a HUGE cup to drink your coffee in... and get out in the sun.

Coffee is such a small vice. I'd change my chocolate addiction over to the coffee one in a heartbeat... if it only worked that way!

YOU deserve all that you want, Gwen... BUT YOU have to give it to yourself. Remember... Fall down seven times, STAND UP EIGHT!

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LOISRS 5/9/2008 2:39PM

    As long as when you say you "ate the bag" you literally meant the contents of the bag (big smile). Hey, I don't see that 13 pounds in 76 days is that bad, either. I've been here since early January 2008 and have lost and gained the same 5 pounds!

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TLAIR0468 5/9/2008 9:28AM

    You said it all in the last paragraph..nobody can do this for you. You gotta pull yourself up and get back on track. So you had a rough week...forget it! It is gone, you can't change it, you can't undo it. All you can do it start from right now and move forward.

As for your coffee...seriously, maybe only having one cup of coffee isn't a good idea right now. I know others may disagree with me, but if you are only having 3 cups a day, dang girl, that isn't bad at all. I would suggest you go back to your 3 cups a day. That was working. When I was a kid, I learned early on in life, if Mom hadn't had at least 2 cups of coffee..don't mess with her. I still NEVER call her before she's had her coffee.

And whats up with the "I've lost a measly 13 pounds in 76 days"?? What is so wrong with 13 pounds in 76 days?? Nothing is wrong with it. In fact, you should be saying..."Hey..I've already lost 13 pounds and it's only been 76 days". Do you realize I have been trying to lose weight for 17 months and I have lost 20 pounds?? And you know what? I'm proud of that 20 pounds..hell yeah I am !! And you should proud of your 13!! Say it...say "I'm proud of myself for losing 13 pounds!!" Go get the jeans out that you were wearing 76 days ago and put them on. 13 pounds is something to be proud of, isn't it??

Gwen, you are doing so great! Your posts are so cheery and uplifting. You make me laugh almost every day. You are an awesome person and you need to lighten up on yourself. We all get down, we all get bummed. We just can't let it ruin all of our hard work.

Now, get your cup of coffee, sit down & post a bit, answer a few emails, then hop up and do some Marilyn struts, maybe an exercise video, then go back and answer a few more emails. Don't let all the unanswered emails overwhelm you. They will still be there!

You have my me anytime. Let me know if I can do anything to help.


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I was on ESPN on Derby Day!

Saturday, May 03, 2008

This is just way too cool! We recorded Derby coverage on Derby Day 2007 last year so we could watch it when we got home from the Derby. What a surprise when they showed my friend Lori's and my laughing faces holding Mint Juleps while the credits rolled! That's a highly coveted spot in any programming... remember the show Wide World of Sports where every week they showed the Joy of Victory... the Agony of Defeat while the credits rolled? EVERYONE remembers those crashes!

Well.... THERE I WAS! Laughing and talking to Lori 61" big and it was so awesome!

Guess WHAT? We're sitting here right this minute watching Derby coverage on ESPN and they're flashing pictures of ladies in their Derby hats and they flashed us AGAIN! We're in their photo archives!

The pic they're showing isn't even from last year's Derby when they showed it... it was from the year before... 2 years ago when Steppenwolfer, my hubby's boss's horse ran and got 3rd in the Derby and altho we didn't get to get our shoes dirty in the Winner's Circle with him, at least he was in the money!

PS.... Capote Belle is also my hubby's boss's horse and I've been in the Winner's Circle with her about 6 times... once she won the Humana Distaff on Derby Day and another time in Toronto, Canada when she won the Juvenile Fillies during the Breeder's Cup races! She was AWESOME as a sprint horse and it was way cool to be in the Winner's Circle ON DERBY DAY AT CHURCHILL DOWNS! She has been a brood mare now for quite awhile but every baby she's had has died. She's pregnant again now and hopefully she'll have a healthy baby this time.

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    emoticonThe hats are cool!Must be nice to have such a great boss !

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GRACIEC 5/3/2008 11:39PM

    Gwen - we watched the Derby and I loved the hats segment and didn't even realize that I knew someone!

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CHURCH54 5/3/2008 10:09PM

    How cool is that! You're a movie star. Love those hats.

I hear Metropolitan Grill is servng Mint Juleps, if you want to run over there when you're done at your house. They're celebrating Derby Day. emoticon

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BVJANEY 5/3/2008 8:01PM

    Gwen, that's very exciting. Now you can say you are a movie star. Two years in a row. I would be very excited. emoticon

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KYRRDIS 5/3/2008 4:19PM

    Way cool! I'll be looking for you on my TV set (located in Lexington). I love seeing Derby posts!

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Lays Classic Potato Chips

Sunday, April 27, 2008

4/26: Went to a bbq and hubby forced me to eat a potato chip... knowing full well I hadn't had a single one for 67 days. Well, one turned into another, then another, then another... no matter how hard I visualized, tapped, self-hypnotized, chastized... I could NOT keep my hand out of that bag. After 5 chips I did look at the bag to see how many calories were in it... per ounce.. @12 chips per ounce. 12!!!!!!!! That's IT??????? 12 thin little chips with all those calories? CRS forbids me to divulge the actual number but let me tell you, it's a LOT. Did THAT even keep my hand from reaching in the bag searching for the LARGEST chip so I wouldn't be deprived of having to count a small chip in my conscious count to 12? Would I deprive myself smaller portions of that sweet... potatoey.... salty.... taste any less than I had to?


I was out of control. My will power had deserted me. My brain shut down and refused to think. My hand reached out with no conscious effort... I didn't even realize that I was doing it until that little angel-gwen on my right shoulder knocked me in the head saying "WAKE UP STUPID!" but then the little devil-gwen on my left zapped the little angel and knocked her unconscious and as the chip hit my lips, my taste buds were screaming with joy and delight.... there was no stopping it now.

One by one, one after another, over and over... the chips filed in... always marching in single file... always facing a slow, agonizing, delightful death. With each bite my angel-gwen was screaming but the devil-gwen had taken over and........ won.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAILEY1950 12/28/2008 12:49AM

    That's how I am with pretzels..

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MONAST 5/1/2008 4:02PM

    I'm so sorry to laugh at your pain. It is amazing to me but one chip can cause a lot of grief!! It is true you and I cannot eat just one. That is why the pesky little things are no longer welcome in my house, I have not yet had the courage to go to a BBQ!!! Thanks for the story!! Take care. Mona

Comment edited on: 5/1/2008 4:00:50 PM

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TLAIR0468 4/30/2008 2:47PM

    OMG crack me up. You are one funny girl!! I am so sorry you had such a devastating chip experience..lmao. I just realized why you don't like cage happens on your very own shoulders. Thanks for the laugh! emoticon

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CGLOWACKI 4/29/2008 9:19PM

    What a narrative! I found it really entertaining and mellow dramatic. We all have our weaknesses. Mine is chocolate covered pretzels. I just discovered a place where I can get a good sized bag for a dollar!!! I'm doomed!

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MISS_VIV 4/28/2008 11:54PM

    Darn ole Lay's... amazing the power they have over us. I have been there done that. Just pick yourself up, and angel-gwen as well. Make sure that right shoulder angel pays attention next time and learns how to duck

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BARBIE1968 4/28/2008 12:19PM

  Stinking potato chips! Same thing happened to me on Thursday.

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CHURCH54 4/27/2008 9:17PM

    I just want to know why you're not writing a novel? I was so enthralled with your story, I was looking for chapt. 2. emoticon

If you quit at 12, then you only had one serving. At some point in time you might have had more,so good job and tomorrow is a brand new day to start.

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GAYLLYNNE 4/27/2008 7:02PM

    What's done is done. By now it should be a non-issue. Start again tomorrow because every new day is a gift (that's why they call it the present). I wouldn't dwell on this, it happened and besides you've done so well and indulging once in a while is a good thing really. I know you will be back on track and no harm done. The important thing is, did you enjoy them? If you did then it was worth it.

Oh, if you have a little gain over the next few days it will be water from all the salt in the chips. Don't let it concern you!

Comment edited on: 4/27/2008 7:23:19 PM

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    Clarification: He didn't physically force me.... just held his hand out and said eat it! eat it! Yes, he is behind me because this is something I want but is ok with the way I am and says I don't need to lose much more. I think he knows that I don't eat the things I used to live on and he was just telling me it's ok to indulge once in awhile.

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IVYLASS 4/27/2008 4:52PM

    I'm a little concerned that your husband "forced" you to eat a potato chip. Is he not on board with your program? emoticon

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Walking Mia To the Park

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Ok.....let me tell you about MY walk today. So, I decided that Mia and I were going to go check out the park. She's walking next to me so pretty, stopping when I stop, sitting next to me with much straighter sits and heeling when I said for her to and I only had to correct her with a turn around when other dogs barked at her from their yards.

For those of you who don't know.... I'm in the 3rd week of obedience training with our 2 year old Akita, Mia. Week One was all about getting her to watch me when we walk. Dogs who've never been walked or taught to walk will lunge at the end of the leash and this is unacceptable to me. When she gets to the end of her 20' leash, I'm already on my way the opposite direction so when she gets to the end, it's going to knock her on her ass! I just keep walking like I didn't see anything. To honor her dignity, she'll walk by me for a few steps and take off again so about turn I go and again she gets knocked on her ass! She's only going to put up with this crap for a few times and think she'd BETTER start watching me because she never knows when I'm going to do something stupid like turn around and go the other way!

Week Two is polishing the walk going from a 20' lead to a 6' lead. Her head is not to be any further in front of me than her ears even with my left knee.... any further than that, I do a hard left turn knocking my right knee smack in to the side of her head. Don't you know she's only had to be corrected for that a few times? lol She lunges out front? Fast about turn. Strays too far to the left? I do a hard right turn. So don't you know it's quite a work-out for me! Don't you know! lol

Week Three is heel when I say so & take off on my left foot, stop when I stop and sit when I stop. She has just learned to sit without treats by me pushing down on her hips with my 1st 3 fingers and thumb of my left hand while gently pulling straight up on her choker. Her sits were real crooked at first but they are looking better & better every time we train! I'll keep you all updated on her progress as we go if you want. It's an 8 week course and I've trained 7 dogs this way and Max, our sweet heart Dobie now gone... I could put him in a sit stay down the street at the corner, walk back to the house, get a cup of coffee, smoke a cigarette and he'd still be sitting down there when I got back! It was awesome!

Back to my story....

We're walking along and damn if we didn't run out of sidewalk. Shouldn't all city streets have sidewalks by now? It's 2008 for crying out loud! We were coming up on the hiking trail that leads to the park and I saw that it was busy with ppl so I reigned her in tight next to me. I know she could feel the tension building up inside me because she started to get a little antsy too the closer we came to the walkers & bikers. We turned left on to the trail and she was ok with the ppl & bikers but then... omg! THEN... here comes these 2 BostonTerriers on those stretch out kind of leashes with their ppl not paying any attention to their muts heading straight for Mia! I stopped as far to the right as I could get, knelt down beside her with my arm around her back (like I'm going to hold onto a 65 lb dog!) and told those ppl that she's never been down here b4 and I'm not sure how she's going to act! Huh??????? These people just smiled and acted like I didn't say anything! These dogs are lunging at the ends of their lines and I'm holding Mia back who was desperately trying to get at these dogs and they just kept their pace not doing anything and walked on by like nothing was happening here! Like, how many more indications could I give these ppl to reign in their damn dogs until they got by us? Geeeeeeeezzzzzzzz!

So, I knew in the back of my mind that it was going to happen but it only came to light in slow motion as I started to go down. If I had been standing up I could have held her by running the opposite direction and knocking her on her ass b4 she knocked me on mine but, as it was I was still kneeling on the ground trying to hold her so my balance was off and when the dogs got passed us she decided she was going with them and at full power she took off and I ended up on my butt, nearly being dragged, rolling me over onto my back, her leash tangled all around my arm, she broke my glasses and when she got to the end of her lead and it about jerked her head off she realized that I was still in charge and came back to me! Don't you EVEN freaking laugh at me!

Now I was scared to death (well, kinda but not really... you know what I mean....) to walk any further on the trail and I wasn't about to walk on a busy street by myself, which is the only other option of getting to the park from here, with no side walks let alone with Mia so, we turned around and went on home. The walk back was pretty uneventful... we had to stop and have a water break half way back. You don't realize how steep that hill is in a car but walking it was near murder! It is straight down on the way TO the park and damn straight UP on the way back! We were both too wore out to bother about stupid barking dogs. We would just be happy to make it back home at all! I'm surprised I didn't have a freaking heart attack as fast as my heart was beating and we were going slow! Our entire walk down & back lasted 1 hour, 10 minutes. Wow. JUST to the PARK!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAY_DEE 4/21/2008 10:51AM

    This is HILARIOUS ! ( and also more than a little bit scary).

You sure do have me beat when it comes to dignity shattering moments with this one. LOL

As for me, a bandaid took care of the knee and the dignity......well, I just consider myself to have been the "Entertainment of the day" for those who were holding their sides as they watched me try to get up off the ground !! (And yes, there were several offers of help.)

As I thanked them and assured them I was OK, my inner thoughts were "please turn away and let me die of embarassment in peace".

How's Mia doing now? Does she have you trained yet??????

Hugs and smiles,

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SVELTE_N_SEXY 4/12/2008 7:32AM

    Hi Gwen,

I just love the way you write and we have several life situation similarities.

I've been dealing with 20 to 25 pounds of extra weight ON & OFF probably since around the time I too was 50. (Going on 18 years ago... time flies when you're having fun!) FINALLY decided this year was going to be the last of the ON of it!

I too lost my wonderful female Dobie "INDI" last year... also lost my little guy "WEBSTER" (Yorkie). My mild mannered "MAX" our (Cocker/Beagle mix) just turned 14 yr in Jan.. has diabetes (past 2 yrs.) (have to inject insulin 2X/Day) & he's mostly blind now.

Check out my Spark Page. I think you've been there before, but I've added new pics. I've also added you as a friend!

I did rescue another Dobe "RAVEN" from 2nd Chance Dobes! She's FANTASTIC TOO! I'm sure "INDI" & "WEBSTER" approve!

Gotta go now... time to feed the dogs and make me some 50/50 coffee.

Best Wishes on your commitment to a HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE!


See you lighter!

Comment edited on: 4/12/2008 7:34:54 AM

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DGOOCK 3/28/2008 4:23PM

    I know your blog said not to laugh, but it was too late, I had already laughed a few times! I needed a chuckle. You either need to gain more weight or get a smaller dog. Well, maybe Mia will get trained and you will get back in shape. The sight of you being pulled to your back and almost drug is a little funny, you have to that you survived the incident. I outweigh my little dog by literally 20 times. Or should I say my son's dog that I seem to keep for him A LOT! Good Luck!

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MISS_VIV 3/22/2008 9:16AM

    I think you filled your quota for exercise, drop and roll exercises for Thursday. What a trip to the park. I live near a Green Belt Parkway where people love to bring their dogs. It never ceases to amaze me how some people, just put their dog on a leash and expect them to "be under control" (not meaning you) no matter how big or small the animal is. They have little or no regard for others that may be trying to enjoy their walk too. Thank you for caring for your pet and others enough to put your dog in training, so you can really enjoy being out to the park. I enjoyed your blog a lot, got a few laughs. Don't give up. (oh by the way, isn't 2 years old a little late to START training? just curious)

Comment edited on: 3/22/2008 9:16:39 AM

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CJD2000 3/21/2008 12:37PM

    First I just want to say, I could hate you. I have never looked as good as the bikini picture!

But then I read your blog. It was funny, couldn't help but chuckle. I think it is good you're going for training. We have cats, and they've been training us for quite some time.

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TLAIR0468 3/21/2008 10:02AM

    LMAO...Gwen, you are too funny. What a walk to the park that was for you and Mia. I only laugh because I now know how it must look when I walk Munci (and believe me, Mia minds oh so much better than Munci). And as for the people walking their unruly dogs on the trail...oh, thats a whole other story...and is exactly why I won't take my dog on the trail, because I can't control him yet....who's walking who???

Great job working with Mia and getting in your exercise at the same time.

Comment edited on: 3/21/2008 10:01:27 AM

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BVJANEY 3/20/2008 11:20PM

    What a walk! I know how you feel. I had a German Sheppard who was very sweet to people but aggressive to other dogs when confronted. I was showing her and we were walking around the grounds when another German Sheppard lunged at her. I moved too quickly to her left trying to hold her by the neck and she turned when she saw the movement and bit me on my thigh. She realized it was me as soon as she did it but it hurt my feelings and I cried. Boy did my thigh swell and get black and blue the next few days. Anyway she became easier to control as she got older and more experienced. Sadly I has to put her down last year at the age of 14. She was the third German Sheppard that I have had and I hope to get another sometime. Enjoy your dog and bond with her. Good Luck.

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VGAUTREAUX 3/20/2008 5:49PM

    lol! That was a great story. I walk my little ones too, I always rein them in around ppl or other dogs. I'm just so afraid they get hurt. I have a 10 yo chihuahua and a 3 yo mixed breed. The chi ignores ppl and other dogs, but the mixed will growl. I'm afraid she will piss off the wrong dog and get in trouble.

I think one hour and 10 minutes is a good walk. I take mine for 30 min. and end up carrying the little one home.

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Week 2... 2 more pounds lost!

Friday, March 07, 2008

Welp, it's week #2 with SP, I have my new scale and I can't stay off of it! 153.8 pounds... how exciting! I have never cared what I weighed... I've always carried a lot of muscle and have always weighed more than I look... always went by how my clothes fit, not what a scale says. I also don't go to doctors much but was having some problems last summer and when I got on her scale and I weighed what I did when I was pregnant, I was shocked. OMG! 160 pounds! We all know their scales weigh higher than everyone else's but 160 POUNDS? No way! I made her do it twice to make sure!

I have always eaten whatever I wanted, too. So to even think about 'diet' was so depressing. I had become a statistic... 40% of American's were over-weight and now I was too. I just put my sweats on and thought well, now I look like the rest of my family... it's in my genes.

So, what is helping me here? Is it the Zoloft I take every morning? Have I finally found my magic pill after trying every anti-depressant on the market? Is it the hypnosis tapes I listen to that helps me to eat just half of what I normally eat? Or is it SPARKPEOPLE that has made me realize that what I put in my mouth is making me FAT? Or, maybe a combination of all 3? I don't know but whatever it is, it's working!

My past daily schedule: drink coffee with cream & sugar all day until around 3 when I pigged out of chips, salsa or pizza rolls. Snack until dinner time and eat several cookies and 2-3 pepsi's during the evening.

My schedule NOW: drink just 3 cups of coffee all morning, savoring every sip... I just cannot stomach food in the mornings so breakfast is out for me. Lunch is my breakfast around 1... actual lunch is around 4 and we eat dinner around 7/8:00. Pistachio's are the only snack I allow myself at night and I count out my 1 ounce of 47 kernals and snack on them throughout the evening. I am never hungry! I have to force myself to eat to get enough calories! Look at my log for yesterday and you will see that I didn't eat much during the day but had a good dinner last night and didn't even eat it all!

So, week 2 of my "diet" and I have lost 4.199999999 lbs... woohoo!
I can't wait to go back to my doc in April and get on her scale!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BANAPPLE 3/7/2008 11:03AM

    Congrats on the 4 pound loss!! You are doing a great job!! Keep up the great work!!


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