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BIGTNLITTLET's Recent Blog Entries
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Thursday, November 15, 2012
I weighed in yesterday and the scale said I gained 3 lbs. I know that is not the most it could have been and I have been trying to keep a good attitude, but sometimes it is so hard to do that. I am determined to go for a walk with the dog tonight, volunteer on Saturday and do some yoga either Friday, Sunday or both. I am also determined to eat much healthier than I did while my parents were here.
The ironic thing is that my mom is always commenting on how she needs to lose weight (she really does not) and needs to stay away from whatever Dr. Oz said this week, but while she was here every night was. We should get some DQ or a cupcake or got out to eat. I tried not to, but they are only here every few months. When I suggest we should go to the park or for a walk it would be shot down. It is frustrating to have this occur, especially when my mom is the one telling me I should lose the weight. It is also frustrating because for the past 2 years I have been into eating as much whole, unprocessed food and non-artificial stuff as possible and she has poo-pooed the idea. she happened to catch a Dr. Oz episode that said don't eat margarine, artificial sweeteners etc and now she wants to make sure she doesn't- but doesn't cut the rest of the processed food out. This is particularly important for me for the kids. I try to make my own baby food and feed T what we are eating,made as much by me or local producers as possible. Then my mom feeds T lunchables and canned stuff. I know it is good that she is aware but it is frustrating.
Thursday, November 08, 2012
My little girl turns two tomorrow (really at 1:16am) and I just love the little imp that she is becoming. Her grandmother says she sees so much of me in her, and then she starts to climb and test her boundaries (which I apparently never did). We are going to the new aquarium and then maybe out for lunch. She is stubborn and independent, loving and too helpful, but I love the little girl she is turning out to be. When I asked her who is turning 2 tomorrow, she pointed to a poster of Minnie Mouse and said "mimmie mouse". I told her that my Minnie mouse is turning two.
My week for eating has not been great, as mom and dad love junk food. I have tried not to eat, but it hasn't gone as well as I would like. That's ok though, if I am in this for the long run (which I am) I have to be able to deal with the "junk". The nice thing about my parent's being here is that one day I was able to walk to and from work, yesterday I walked to the milk store and I still got to zumba.
Sunday is a "Zumbathon" with all the profits going to the local parks and rec fitness director, who has cancer and loves zumba. So my zumba partner and I are going to do zumba for 2 hours (I really hope I don't die).
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
I live 1500 miles away from my family so I am SUPER excited when they come to visit. They live on the East coast in Delaware and survived Sandy and are doing well. Now our big concern is will they make to Kansas? Their flight out is not until Saturday, so I hope so. I know there a re lots of other worries for people wit this hurricane, but now that I know my family is ok I am feeling a little better.
Zumba and dinner last night was as fantastic as I expected it to be. It is my 3rd or 4th week doing Zumba and I love it. It really has become one of my highlights of my week. I don't know if it is the exercise or the companionship  (probably both), but I love it. I am finding that my muscle memory is getting better each time, but of course they switch things around so it does not get too easy.
Monday, October 29, 2012
I am just os excited as tonight is Zumba night! A friend and I have committed to doing zumba together and tonight is the night, plus we are going out to eat before. We are going to McAlisters' a semi-local chain, but they have great entree salads that are wonderful and a wonderful interactive menu planner so you can really see what you are getting into. Plus they have tea! I used to love their sweet tea (I still do....) but now I get half sweet half unsweet or all unsweet. Yeah for Zumba and McAlisters!
Friday, October 19, 2012
I am an athlete, although not in the typical sense and I currently do not have an "athletes" body. I have been riding horses since I was 5 years old- I am coming up on 25 years of horses in my life. I do not remember my first ride but I do remember the opportunity. I was asked if I wanted to ride, I remember the barn smell, the dust everywhere and I remember jumping up and down say "yes, yes, yes". I remember my mom telling me I would have to give up ballet-I had no qualms about that. I remember my first fall off a horse-ouch it hurt! I remember the "get back on conversation" getting on and quickly getting off-I had a minor concussion.
When I was in elementary school my mom signed me up for soccer with my friends. I played, I did not love it, but I played for 2 or 3 years. Soon after I started swimming lessons-I loved them. I swam 3 days a week and several hours each time. When I was 10 I hit puberty and it was not kind to my weight, I continued to swim and to ride. My mom instituted a "one snack (junk food) a week policy" but only for me. This was the beginning of my struggle. I remember this. All my friends were "athletes" they played soccer and basketball.
When I hit middle school I tried jogging with a friend. I remember the feeling of accomplishment getting from her house to the beach without stopping-it was 7/8ths of a mile, but I hated running. I continued to ride and swim. I did not feel athletic.
We moved to a new state before high school. I was still overweight, I was still riding, but I did not swim. The priority was finding me a stable to ride in. I rode weekly and got involved in high school theater and a community orchestra. The arts were important those first two years, I still had horses, but friends were made in the arts. My junior year I needed a break from theater, I burnt out and did too much. I spent everyday at the barn as much time as possible. I became proficient at feeding 40 horses on 30 acres then riding 2-3 horses feeding again and helping with lessons. I worked for lessons. I loved every minute, stacking hay, sweating in the summer and freezing in the winter, but I was not an athlete.
I went to college and majored in horses. I spent all my time at the barn. I soaked up the atmosphere, rode whenever they would let me, observed, made friends and hung out. I still did not feel like an athlete, I felt like a horse person. I felt like a college student. I got a horse my junior year of college. I loved riding her and "playing" with her. I started teaching others to ride, I began to feel like an athlete because I was telling others that they were being athletic.
I moved to graduate school in the middle of the country. I studied college students and how to help them. I was surrounded by grad students who played broomball, basketball and flag football on inter mural teams. I still had my horse. She was my solace when I missed family and friends who were 1500 miles away, riding her reminded me that I too was athletic and none of my friends here knew what I knew. They did not understand the draw of the barn or the comforting smells of...manure and horses.
I started to bike ride. My jeans, a size 16 were feeling tight. I did not want to buy new jeans. Instead of a "new year's resolution" I made a birthday promise to ride in a century ride. I worked with Team In Training, through the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I was motivated and inspired by the individuals I rode with, who were affected with cancer, I figured if they could go through everything they were going through I could bike ride. I would bike to my horse, ride her, bike to the next town, come back to my horse say good bye and bike home. This was slow, but I was regularly biking 20-30 miles a day and riding Bella for at least an hour-now I felt like an athlete. 6 months later I rode my century ride and volunteered in post-Katrina Mississippi.
I soon found a riding instructor who helped me improve my skills, then I met my now husband. I stopped biking, I had to write a thesis and pass master's comps. I no longer felt like an athlete, but I knew only 1 month, 2 months, 6 months before I had been one.
I moved and got a real job; I stopped riding so much, but I spent time with my horse. I moved again, I got married, I still had my mare, I talked about biking. I got pregnant, I did not ride, but spent time with my mare. I had T, started jogging, working out, riding, began to feel like an athletic person again. Found out I was pregnant with number 2 and the same day put down my mare. I felt adrift, I felt no longer like an athlete. I posted just a few days ago about my return to horses. I have been "sparking" and lifting weights and jogging. I have been doing zumba, I am beginning to feel like an athlete...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
to the 2 yr old
happy birthday to your little girl tomorrow. I hope that you girls have a great time. It's hard to watch what you eat with company. 