Sunday, August 14, 2011
I can see how easy it is to lose sight of the goal and fall off track. This was one of those weeks that I knew would be full of temptations and I certainly failed the test.
"We count on winning. And if we lose, don't beef. And the best way to prevent beefing is - don't lose." Knute Rockne
I'm not going to 'beef' about it though. I had an amazing week and allowed myself to enjoy some chocolate, cheese, pie, wine AND this evening... mini cheesecakes! Three of them! I normally treat myself (still within my goal ranges) a couple times a month (for birthdays for example), but not usually this much in one week!
Time to refocus on the goal! I am holding MYSELF accountable for my decisions and not pointing fingers at everything else in my life for my failures.Over the past few months, I had built up a pretty good resistance to temptation, got good at just saying 'no thank you' to anything not in my plan. I was weaker than I thought I was this whole week! Now it is time to repair the cracks in my resolve that came to the surface. Beyond my Melting Pot evening, I was actually in my ranges for the most part all week - in the high end of the range of course. My failures weren't that bad in the overall grand scheme of things. They simply showed my weakness and that it takes a small nudge to get the ball rolling out of control. I just could not for the life of me say no to chocolate, cheese, pie, wine or mini cheesecakes this week! No hesitation while loading my plate with mini cheesecakes. (Three awesome flavors: Cookies and cream, plain with a cherry and an out-of-this-world spiced cheesecake!)
So my earlier status sums it up "The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will." ~Vince Lombardi
I'm ready for success! I know I have the willpower in me even though it took the week off. lol. I'm going to be honest with myself and correct this. No whining. No questioning why. No excuses! I know why ... I was not giving it my ALL this week.
Back to it! I still have a good bit of freelance work, so I'll have a couple more late nights, but after that I am getting myself back in gear. I need to get in bed by midnight most nights again (opposed to 5 am) I have my sleep schedule so out of whack that I am not functioning up to par. But I am looking forward to hopefully getting a little slow period here with work. I need to get the years 'spring cleaning' done this fall.
I hope everyone is having a good weekend!! No excuses. :)
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
I just got back a little while ago after a lovely dinner with my girlfriend Tracy. The Melting Pot has a 'girls night out' event every couple months and it usually benefits a different charity each time. Tracy and I made it to one last year and we loved it, so we were happy that we saw they had one tonight and both of our schedules were open. I wanted to take her out to celebrate her expecting their first baby too.
I probably ate an entire days worth of calories in on meal, but calorie cycling is good, isn't it. Chuckle. We had a cheese and chocolate fondue. Tracy is one of those crazy people that doesn't like any raw veggies (gasp!), so I got the entire bowl of broccoli, carrots and cauliflower to myself to dip in cheese. I only ate a couple pieces of bread and a few pieces of granny smith apple - I didn't even put cheese on half of the apples - they were very good apples. Then the s'mores chocolate fondue came out. No restraint for me there! I ate it all! We pretty much divided the dessert plate in half. I put my half on my little serving plate and DRIZZLED the chocolate over it. I know this didn't save a ton of calories since it was a plate of brownies, cheesecake, marshmallows, pound cake, bananas, strawberries, and a cherry... but by not dipping each individual item, I know there was MUCH less chocolate on them than dipping. And it was one or two tiny bites of each dessert. Surely was an entire days worth of calories between the two, but worth it if it is only once or twice a year!
We also put a few tickets into raffles they had for charity. They had three very expensive designer purses and one melting pot fondue/wine package for six to win. The last time we went to one of these events they had a room FULL of things to win and we won three prizes between us, but this certainly was less attended than the last one too. We were surprised at how little people were there. Now I'll be waiting by the phone to find out if I've won anything! :)
We have so much to celebrate and we celebrated well! I've been really good at NOT using food as a reward or to celebrate, until tonight... it makes me wonder: Had I not eaten way more veggies than bread, had I not drizzled the chocolate on, had I drank my typical two love martinis... yikes! How many calories would it have been then?!?!? This newfound awareness of what I put in my piehole is funny sometimes. I am just so much more aware of how much I had been eating in my past!! I'm actually surprised that I hadn't gained more weight than I had. I think that my indulgent days were fairly balanced with days that I wasn't eating nearly enough calories. I figured that the low calorie days were pretty often when I started tracking. Other than a few small indulgences this year since joining SparkPeople, I have been doing fairly well at keeping myself on track. This was the biggest indulgence for sure. An indulgence for me now is usually a glass of wine, a tiny piece of birthday cake, a half cup of ice cream, two cup of coffee instead of only one, etc.
But night like tonight remind me that I will FOREVER be mindful of what I eat, even if I am allowing a delightful treat of an evening out. But...
"You've come a long way baby"
Monday, August 08, 2011
I've been a bit stressed for a long time about my and my husband's weight. We've both gained many pounds over the last few years. I've now managed to lose enough weight to get into the 'normal' BMI range after being at the very top of the 'overweight' BMI category. I realized that I really needed to take action when I was a mere pound or so away from OBESE. I also felt that my healthier cooking and habits would rub off on my husband. Now after seven-ish months... I am heartbroken to know it is not working. My husband seemed to be catching on to being somewhat healthier - I have noticed! He is a bit more mindful of what he eats and in what amount. He used to always go for a second plate of food, and does so much less often now. And I have been really working to cook better overall, help him pack lunches with healthier leftovers, apple sauce, cheese sticks... but he keeps coming home with empty bottles of soda, and stories of the awful things he eats at lunch and trips to the snack machine...
This really hit home last weekend when we went on our second honeymoon. We had a wonderful time mountain biking, playing frisbee golf, hiking, at a resort two hours away. But the one thing I was REALLY excited to do was their fun looking zip-line course down the mountain, through the trees. We went to ask about scheduling the zip-lining and while I was asking questions, my husband interrupted and asked if there was a weight limit. The woman said, "Yes 250." My husband had to look me in the eye and tell me he was up to 260 now and that he couldn't do it. He tried to get me to do it on my own, but to me, that would defeat the whole *togetherness* weekend. I knew he felt awful about it and I tried my best to not show my disappointment. I want to be as supportive as possible and not hurt his feelings.
Setting an example for him and cooking healthier dinners is obviously not enough.
I'm kinda devastated that when I calculated his BMI knowing that he is now 260 pounds, I found out that he is in the SEVERELY Obese range. The range where one of the possible consequences is... death. Wow. That is a tough pill to swallow.
I just listened to Jillian Michaels' last podcast where a caller rang in with a similar situation. JM suggested an honest and open conversation with the husband. JM also suggested that the husband may have depression issues that are causing him to binge, yadda, yadda. I could totally see this applying to my husband. He is in a job that WAS his ideal job long ago, but in a nutshell, is not at all anymore. It really seems to sap the life out of him. I've encouraged him to look elsewhere or ask to be moved to another job there. I've expressed my concern about how unhappy he is there. I try...
So how on Earth am I supposed to bring this tough topic up to him? We're both really busy, tired and overworked at the moment. I have no idea when a right time would be, or if there isn't ever going to be a right time. I certainly don't want to wait long!
I needed to vent. I feel so stressed about this. I lay in bed at night worrying about his health. I've tried to get him to go to a doctor. I suspect he has sleep apnea from listening to him breathe (struggling) at night. He may not be getting adequate sleep in turn, which may also affect him greatly. I try to bring things up is a sensitive and supportive way, but ugh... I guess I need to elaborate and be a bit more candid.
Lord give me guidance...
Sunday, August 07, 2011
This week has two days with planned eating out adventures. Always a source of a little stress when you're trying to eat healthier.
Today was the first trial - Carino's Italian restaurant for my friend Tracy's birthday. I've only been to this restaurant once before and didn't really like it, but it's the birthday girl's choice! So last night I was very happy to see that they have a downloadable nutrition info guide for their whole menu. I really love when they give you all of the info! Most of the stuff on their menu made my jaw drop having well over 1,000 calories and the sodium and fat were mind boggling too! (150 grams of fat in one dish and 5,200+ mg of sodium in another!) I could eat one meal there that is all of my calories for an entire day, more fat than 3-5 days and enough sodium to make me swell up like a balloon for a week! LOL But I really do appreciate their honesty, and figured that half of a personal margherita pizza with a side salad for about 412 calories. The pizza was pretty large too, so half of it was plenty. Still not impressed with any of their food though...
On Wednesday night we are going to a 'girls night out' dinner at the Melting Pot to benefit the cystic fibrosis foundation. This is the first time we are attending one of these events since I started to watch what I eat and will be a HUGE challenge for me. I LOVE fondue! I like to take my girlfriends out to a celebratory dinner when they find out they are expecting. Tracy really wanted to go to the melting pot fundraiser, so I agreed. They are great fun. You get a cheese and chocolate fondue, a mixed drink each (I guess I get hers if I want) and they have raffles for very nice prizes. In the past Tracy won a Coach purse and a Estee Lauder bag of makeup. And I was lucky enough to win a beautiful decorative basket that happened to be filled with wine, wine snacks, real crystal wine glasses, a fancy wine opener (that got gifted to Tracy, lol) a candle and other little goodies. Even if we didn't win anything, it's still a good time, and benefits charity.
Tracy had been struggling on the South Beach Diet. I've watched her weight go up and down for many years and she's always trying the restrictive 'lose 15 pounds your first week' brand of diets. I told her about SparkPeople and tried to get her to team up to support each other... it didn't work. She went on the SB Diet because her hubby's doc recommended it (oy!) so of course, she had to support him. I get the feeling that she thought she'd lose a bunch of weight fast like the diet claims. She expressed her frustration after her weightloss stalled at 8 pounds. I really wish she would give SparkPeople a try, but everyone has to find their way themselves. Then she found out that she's expecting finally which is great - they've been wanting to have a baby for a while. I told her about BabyFit.com and she brushed it off. Now all dieting seems to have gone out the window and baby gets to eat whatever baby wants! And baby doesn't like the smell of cooking foods, so Tracy doesn't cook herself much these days for fear of nausea. So baby likes eating out, ha, ha. I try to help with healthy food when I can, but I fear she may be one of those women that gain 70 pounds before having the baby... sigh.
So I am going to TRY to prepare myself before Wednesday night. I don't want to starve myself all day/week so I can indulge one night and I don't want to work out an additional hour every day to nix out the extra calories. I need to figure out a way to find a happy medium so I can enjoy myself without fretting the whole time. I hate to waste drinks that are included, but I might have to skip my favorite love martinis this time. (That makes me sad, I love them so!)
I can usually do well by planning my trips to restaurants beforehand, but this is going to be the hardest time yet! A vat of molten cheese (with veggies, apples and bread for dipping) and a pot of gooey chocolate (with all not-good-for-you dippables like rice crispy treats, brownies, cheesecake, fruit, etc...) are going to test my willpower beyond anything I have put in front of myself. I will be working on my gameplan before then... eat a large salad beforehand? Try to find or calculate the calories beforehand to know how much I can eat? (I have the melting pot cookbook, so I know what is in everything.) Measure out my portions on my plate and not mindlessly dip away? Any other tips to not gain 5lbs from a trip to the melting pot?
Back to work I go! (figuratively 'back' - I work at home) I have a big project to get done. I will be pulling a very late night.
Have a wonderful week everyone!!
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