Saturday, August 23, 2008
Well, what about Rome is that I'm planning to go there early next year. I mean, just LOOK at that gorgeous fountain (pretty much the first thing every tourist sees, apart from the airports and train stations)! It's beautiful. And just _look_ at that sky!
You'd think that would be enough motivation to "be good", right?
Apparently, "enough" motivation is the sight of something (ANYthing) remotely tempting enough to make my brain even go "hmm".
Yep. I fell off the wagon. Yesterday wasn't supposed to be a rest day - but by the time I was done with breakfast (clue: GYM first, THEN breakfast is my normal routine), there was no hope of moving for another couple of hours. I was like the python that's swallowed an elephant and needs to go into a digestive coma for a few days.
Followed that up by finishing off leftovers at lunchtime - oh, yes, the _yummy_ leftovers from having eaten lunch at "Little India" - biryani and curried fish. Neither awful in itself. Very tasty, too. But again, post-meal coma.
And then, I decided to skip dinner. BAD idea. By 9 p.m., I was hungry and trying to convince myself I wasn't. So what did I do? Instead of reaching for the instant oatmeal, I reached for something else: the bag of cashews that I'd bought while shopping - umm, clue: don't DO that. By this point, I was beyond thinking, far less thinking straight. So, I sat here at my laptop until 1 in the morning - mindlessly chewing the salt-and-pepper cashews (with a fork, yet, as if _that_ was going to make a difference), watching one silly flick after the other (I'd ALSO been to the library the previous day).
Stumbled off to bed content. Slept all night (yay - that's good, I usually wake up a couple of times!).
Woke up this morning feeling a little bloated. Gee, I wonder WHY?
Hmph. Okay, I WILL have to weigh-in to figure out the damage. I'll have to be better at the whole "planning" thing, too - no point letting the weight balloon when it doesn't have to. As usual, it's NOT the exercise that does me in. It's the simple mindless eating.
Right. Focus. Look at those blue skies. Look at all that gorgeous marble. Look at the fountain. Look at the tourists. Look at MY choices!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
As far as I know, I _wasn't_ doing that kind of weighing when I weighed in this morning at the gym. But 5 times out of 5 times, the scales claimed I've lost between 3 and 5 pounds. Overnight.
Okay, that's completely impossible. I _did_ stay within my calorie range yesterday, and I did work out HARD. Starting at about 2:30 in the afternoon, I felt like I was starving. Tried to hold out and had a sensible dinner, but at 10 p.m., I wound up getting dressed, taking the elevator 29 floors down, walking across the street to the grocery store that closes at 11, and buying a bag of chips. Potato chips, not even the mildly-healthier corn chips. And then I trekked all the way back home (a 4 minute trip at most!) and scarfed down every single chip in that bag. Bleah.
Oh, all right, it was yummy as I savoured every kettle-cooked, sea-salted bite. Hmm - you know what? In hindsight, I was probably just craving a salt lick! :)
So, calorie-wise, no way could I possibly have lost that much weight overnight. But, having weighed myself 5 times, I also cannot really dispute the scales. So I'm staking a claim on the largest number I saw on there this morning. I know the extra salt will probably appear on my butt by tomorrow morning, but hey, today is a GREAT day! :)
And I'm going to try to stay within calories again - that way, I hopefully will offset some of the effects of those chips. Bad chips. Go away. (Hmm. Yummy chips! But let's NOT go into that!)
I did get in another intense workout today, so hopefully the chips didn't do too much damage to my good intentions!
Keep your eyes on the ticker - you never know, after all! :)
Monday, August 18, 2008
... isn't that the topic every one of us had to write an essay about when we were in school? I know I did, and I know my niece and nephew still do!
Truth to tell, I always had fun writing that essay as a child - even if we went nowhere, my life was FULL of fun things to do. We played outdoors, I read dozens of books, we got soaking wet in the monsoon rain, we had lots of friends over at our home and went and played with lots of other kids at their homes. When my brother was in boarding school (a couple of years), summers were even more fun, because I'd be seeing him after almost a year, and he'd catch me up on the latest silly jokes and fun games! :)
As an adult, summers have been fairly routine - go to work, come home. Right? Right.
This year was different - my parents came over from India and for the first time since my brother and I left home (about 20 years ago) we are both living in the same city (almost ... he lives in the suburbs). So, in some ways, it was very much like being small children again - the whole family together in one spot! I spent most of each week over at my brother's place (mine is too small to accommodate more than 1 person in any comfort) and had my parents stay at my place for a couple of nights as well.
Exciting? Yes. Fun? Yes. Frustrating? For sure.
But there was also a lot of love and joy in just simple things like holding Mum's or Dad's hand as we went out walking, hugging the kiddies (who, of course, were being spoiled rotten with auntie AND grandparents over all the time!), playing kiddie games like Snakes and Ladders or Monopoly on lazy, rainy afternoons.
It's over. A whole month of being with family. Traveling some, playing tourist lots. Eating (as usual) as if it were going out of style.
It was four weeks of tension, in many ways - being around family does that to me. My parents _and_ my brother treat me like a 5-year old. Which isn't helped by the fact that I then react like a toddler going through the terrible twos. :) This year, I promised myself I wouldn't lose my temper, no matter what - and, guess what, I didn't! I managed to smile and see the funny side of life, even when I was feeling mightily provoked. No, I didn't do all the nice things I'd been planning to do, but at least I didn't make it worse than it had to be! :)
Before the "vacation" started, I'd promised myself (and here on SP, in one of my blogs) to not gain more than 5 pounds. At the time I wrote that, I weighed 208 pounds. I weighed in off and on during the month - at one point, I'd reached 215 pounds. But today, the first day _after_ the vacation, I'm happy to say I weigh "only" 212.5 pounds. Yep. I haven't gained at all the past week or so. I guess choosing NOT to take third helpings at every meal, and sticking to ONE serving on the days I really indulged in plantain chips was enough to control the weight. Of course, it makes me wonder whether, if I'd said I'd continue to lose, I would have LOST weight during the month! :)
I'd had every intention of getting _some_ exercise most days. How did that work out? Surprisingly, it was _easy_! I wound up taking my niece and nephew to the park near home, or to the humongous amusement park right by their home most days. The days we stayed home were still filled with activities - either chasing them up and down stairs just for fun, or, on occasion, deciding to weed my brother's yard for 4+ hours (a wasted effort, as it turned out AFTER - he's planning to dig up that patch, which was why it had weeds! Okay, it wasn't wasted - I got MY exercise, after all, and that patch now looks neat!) And I took Mum and Dad shopping - lots of walking again. Plus, shopping on my own or with my brother for gifts for them. Lots of walking. Did I say that already? I did? Too bad. :)
None of that was stuff I felt comfortable putting into my SP exercise tracker, so I did not. But I can see clearly that ANY activity beats sitting on the couch reading (my activity of choice, any day!) and offsets even large quantities of home-cooked meals.
So, all in all? A great vacation! My parents left for Bangalore last night, I came home and fell into bed and slept for about 10 hours. Caught up (a bit) on SP. Went to the gym (how else would I know what I weigh??). Now I have to catch up on work and bill payments and other fun stuff - I'll still be MIA for a couple of days, I expect!
That's my essay. What's everyone else been up to this beautiful season? :)
Yes, in case you're wondering, that _is_ a street scene in Rome. :) NOT my family! :)
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
the Colosseum at night. Imagine that. After having been in Rome twice, I've never managed to be in that neighbourhood that late in the evening. Ever.
Okay, I guess that's going on my to-do list, then! :)
As is simply walking everywhere in this beautiful city. Through the Roman Forum, up and down the city, past all those little side streets, where you find all sorts of ruined monuments and statues that no guide book tells you about.
Past the tall iron gates to private courtyards. Courtyards that look as if they might contain the path to that secret garden we've all dreamt about. Iron gates embellished with scrollwork. Yes, also in iron. Gates that are so tall, you wonder what or who they were trying to keep out.
And the glimpses you get, of the life behind those gates ... mmm. :)
Down to the Spanish steps, strolling past the Trevi Fountain, remembering a young and lovely Audrey Hepburn on the back of that scooter with Gregory Peck ...
Watching the cats. There are cats. And people. People who love the sunshine. People who love life. People who ... well, I don't actually know what they do in the winter, but I guess I'll be finding out, hmm?
Eating gelati. Oh, yes, I plan to. And those fantastic antipasti. And their superb zuppe di pesce. Yum. Did I mention I love Italian food, but only _in_ Italy? Even mozzarella tastes yummy there - might have something to do with the fact that it's made from buffalo milk and has flavour, unlike the rubbery stuff I've found in Canada and California. :)
So that's the current plan. Walk all day. Eat enough. Have a bit of gelato. Go dancing in the evenings. :)
One of these days. In Rome.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Okay, I'm done feeling "down" about my weight. It is what it is.
And there's no one but myself who actually caused that weight gain - it wasn't my parents - they didn't go stuffing things down my throat. It wasn't friends tempting me to eat just a little of this or that. It was _my_ eyes that misjudged the portion sizes, _my_ brain that said just one more bite wouldn't hurt, that this dish isn't _all_ that high in calories, or some other fun story. It was _my_ hand that picked up the food and guided it to my mouth. _My_ mouth that savoured that food. And, ultimately, _my_ hips, _my_ waist, _my_ arms and legs and cheeks and chin that are still savouring that food. At least I hope they are, they're clinging to it for soooooo long! :)
Inspired by Shawn, one of my SparkFriends here who's focusing on her upcoming trip to Paris (and doing a fantastic job at it!), I'm going to try to focus on a different goal for a while - for me, it's going to be Rome. In the spring, for a change, given that I've hitherto always gone to Rome in the fall.
Pick a date. Any date. Hmmm. Hmmm. Probably February-ish. What? That's NOT spring? Well, it is, compared to Toronto - just look at a map, if you're not convinced. :) Oh. I just DID look at a map - we're almost on the same latitude! Which means Toronto winters aren't as bad as people have been telling me they are (I love winter, personally ... missed the white stuff while I lived in sunny California!) But anyway, that's the trip I'm taking. Rome for 2 weeks, in February 2009.
What will I look like then? I don't know. I plan to look gorgeous, no matter what my weight.
I'm actually going to start over in some ways ... my parents will still be in town for another couple of weeks, so I'll probably not be sticking to my calorie ranges until they've left. However, I commit to working out at least 3 days a week until they leave. No matter what. And yes, walking at a snail's pace IS a workout if you do it for long enough.
I'm going to start noticing what I eat and when and why - I've been tracking the food, but just as a habit now, not actually noticing WHAT I've written, and not pondering WHY I ate whatever I ate! Satori again, being "in the moment" - something I tend not to do ... I'm always thinking of the NEXT thing! :)
So, no actual weight goals? No. Because mini-weight-goals are counter-productive for me, it looks like. As soon as I reach one of my mini-goals, I seem to decide it's time to celebrate - by EATING. Dash it all - that's what's brought this weight on and KEPT it on all these years, dingbat! :) Yes, me, not you! So, really, no weight goals. Just a commitment to keep Rome in mind and at the focus of my thoughts for 10 minutes each day from now until February.
That's about 6 months away ... lots of time to plot and plan and decide exactly what to do! Yay!
Rome. I can almost see it now ...
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