Thursday, July 17, 2008
I love getting on the scales. I hate what they
say. At least, most of the time. They're this
nasty reminder that it's NOT just in the mirror!
(In my mind, I'm this svelte goddess-looking
gal, you know!)
Oh, well. I hereby refuse to get on the scales
until Monday. Pffffbbbt!
Why? Because I got on last night and they
claimed I was at 211. Sheesh - I know I ate and
drank all day, and this was simply the up-to-the-minute
weight, but it still annoyed me. I know my body
probably burned off a pound or so as I slept. I know
I should weigh myself at the same time every
Knowing all that doesn't help. There's this kid
inside me who wants to see only downward progress
on the scales. No matter what kind of a day or week
it's been. No matter how unrealistic that wish
may be for who I am.
So, for now, no more weighing in every day. I _need_
to, to keep the food under control, but I also need
_not_ to, to keep my HEAD in control.
This is HARD work! :)
Off to sulk now,
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I've never really thought about this before, but now that I do, I realise that _all_ the weight I've gained has happened since I moved to North America. That's 80+ pounds. A whole small-boned, petite person worth of weight. And when I say weight, I don't actually mean muscle and bone, I suspect. It's probably mostly if not ALL fat. So, I've got a little fat person hiding somewhere in me. :)
Back to the point, though. At some point last week, I got sick and tired of figuring out caloric content of each meal. And went back to eating instinctively - the way I ate when I was growing up. So I've been eating when I'm hungry. And eating the kinds of food I grew up with. I've not been "starving", I've not been hyper. I've had plenty of energy. And I'm back to sleeping normally again. And of course, I've always drunk a lot of water, even as a child.
And yesterday, when I weighed in, I'd got to my target weight for the week - 208. Okay, that's exactly where I started when I joined SP, but for me, that was BIG. Because, for the first time, I did it without feeling deprived.
I've never dieted in my life - and I was tackling this SP journey more with a "diet" mentality than a lifestyle one. Which had meant HUGE ups and downs emotionally as well as in the gut - ten pounds up and down every couple of weeks was NO fun.
Noticing how _good_ I feel, I analysed it a bit. I'm cooking the way Mum cooks - rice or whole wheat bread (it's often white rice, but I don't eat a lot), lots of veggies at every meal. I'm just now remembering that I loathed rice as a kid - would only eat a couple of spoonfuls - hmm. Lentils and/or beans every lunch and every dinner. Fruit if and when I want it - I confess I only like tropical fruit, so I don't eat it too often. Eggs daily, and also dairy of some sort - either plain yogurt or yogurt cooked into curries or cheese in any form. (I'm lactose intolerant, but yogurt has lactase, so that works, and most cheeses are fine - I simply avoid the ones that are painful!) Some little fried goodie with lunch or as an evening snack. Pretty much nothing was forbidden in our home! And an occasional scoop of ice-cream - maybe once a month - at an ice-cream parlour. Yes, we had ice cream parlours - still do, actually - in India - it's a HOT country! :)
Meat? Not big in my diet when I was growing up. About once a week, we'd have chicken or fish, and about once a month, either goat or beef. So meat was just an occasional treat. And, because it was expensive, Mum only cooked maybe a kilo for our family of 4 - and that usually lasted at least a couple of meals - maybe a couple of ounces of meat per person per meal!
Dessert, too, was rare in _my_ home, simply because Dad (in those days) hated sweets. And I personally can't stand most milk-based Indian sweets, so I almost never ate them - still don't. As kids, my brother and I sometimes got a special treat: tomatoes or bananas (no, not together!) chopped up and let to stand with a sprinkling of sugar over them - the sugar would draw out the juice from the fruit, and get all syrupy. Loved it then, love it now - I know some people shudder at the very notion, but hey, this is MY meal. :)
I've been doing this for almost a week now - eating mostly vegetarian (last week, I did have to "finish up" some chicken/pork curries I'd made, but I didn't replace the meat when I was done eating those!) - and I feel absolutely fantastic. I can see that my body is liking this style of eating.
I've been cooking a lot more. Veggies. Lentils. And eggs - my absolute favourite form of protein, come to think of it. No, I lie. FISH is my absolute favourite, followed by other kinds of seafood. But I have no intention of being too fishy too often.
EGGS, you say? Eggs have a lot of cholesterol!
True. I'll have my doctor keep an eye on my cholesterol levels. But suffice it to say that neither of my parents have cholesterol or hypertension.
Am I a vegetarian? Not by a long stretch. I enjoy the taste of various animal products, and have no religious or emotional taboos against meat. However, I don't need those extra calories all the times, so I am _choosing_ to not eat as much of those things. A very freeing thought, that. It's not verboten. I _can_ eat all the meat/fish/whatever-else I want, when I choose to. It's just that I will not be choosing to as often as I have in the past 19 years.
And suddenly, just like that - no cravings. Hmm. The mind is a powerful thing. Mine doesn't like being told no. But it likes feeling in control. :) Oh, yes, control freak here. At least where it comes to my own life. And occasionally that control freak jumps out at other folks, too, but I try to keep her in check. :)
Yes, it's been a long, rambling post. But I needed to get this down to remind myself when I start thinking it would be easier to just eat out ... if I come back and read how I'm feeling today, hopefully I'll stave off some detours. :)
For now, I'm really looking forward to seeing 206 on the scale next Monday. And feeling completely happy and satisfied all week on the way there! It doesn't hurt at all that my parents will be in town for 4 weeks, starting Sunday, the 20th - Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Saturday, July 12, 2008
I was at dinner at a friend's place tonight - mostly to say hello to her parents, whom I haven't seen in about 20 years - boy, it's been a long time.
Well, one thing they do back home at parties is drink. Not wine, either, but whisky or rum. So tonight was whisky. Lots and lots of it. I managed to have them stop refilling my glass after 3, but that was obviously nowhere near enough for the others.
Why don't I drink? Mostly because I've inherited my dad's "head" for alcohol - it doesn't give me a buzz, so I consider it a gargantuan waste of time _and_ calories. And it didn't help that my thigh was throbbing where I'd managed to walk into a fire hydrant on the way over - no, that wasn't an alcohol-induced accident - I was sober, just watching a car do some really weird manoeuvres to get into a parking space - forgot to watch where I was going and THUDDDDD! It hurt!!! But the alcohol certainly seems to have numbed my nerves. And then my friends all sounded really loud and silly.
But it still was fun talking to the parents - I find I really appreciate older people now that I live so far from my own parents. They really _care_ about you, so much more than those our own age! :) I just feel like I'm back with my own parents, somehow. I must be an age-ist, I guess, only in reverse! :)
Oh, well - I'd better go get some antiseptic on my thigh - I guess walking into a solid iron fire-hydrant (while walking FAST to get to my destination AND looking backwards at the same time) _was_ bound to hurt, but I didn't expect the peeled inch of flesh I found, not to mention the already-green-and-purple bruise surrounding it! I guess I won't be swimming for a while! :)
Friday, July 11, 2008
Hmm. Yesterday was a rest day, so I didn't actually do my "2 15-minute runs with a 1-minute walk break" thing at all. Did hula hoop. My time/number-of-twirls is getting WORSE, not better! Maybe I need to review the instruction videos on YouTube again! :)
And today? Whee. Didn't get much sleep last night - I always seem to do this on the days I _should_ get lots of sleep - I was too excited. Woke up at 4!!!!! Was planning to go run at 5 when the gym opens, but started playing with SP ... what can I say? I got to the gym at 6, and found my favourite treadmill (the only one of THAT style, with the built-in HRM in the handlebar) was JUST taken by one of my regular workout pals.
So, rather than kill time or just use one of the other treadmills (all 6 were available!), I headed back upstairs. Ate a hearty breakfast. Killed some more time on the computer. THEN went back to the gym at about 8:45 - aha - MY machine was available! :)
Did my 5k. FASTER than I'd dreamed I could. And, what's more, I only had to take ONE little short walk-break at 3.2mph - and _that_ was only because I was nutty enough to try running at 6.0 without holding on to the handlebars - totally winded me! :) I _did_ change speeds UP from the initial 4.5 all the way to 5.0 and back down as I got more and more enthusiastic.
And fortunately, my MP3 player (which I haven't used in weeks) didn't run out of battery until about 5 minutes after I got home - plenty of time to recharge it before my next 5k. :)
By the time I finished, I was wiped. Tired. Exhausted.
Thought back to my first marathon (see pics above - not the race I was in, but another in the same series) I ever ran, the Volcano Marathon in Hawaii - now THAT was a beautiful, wonderful, scenic, challenging experience - how often do you get to run over desert, dried lava-flow/volcanic-crater-rims _and_ tropical rainforest, all in the same day???? My time on that one sucked, but it was the BEST experience of my life! And I didn't take a camera ... silly me! :) Oh, yeah - I didn't train for that marathon AT ALL - just winged it, because it was something I so badly wanted to do. I was limping by the time I was done, and I'd walked/jogged the first 20 or so miles, only slowing to a real slow walk the final 8 miles. (Yes, I know a marathon is only supposed to be 26.2 miles, but when you are pretty much the last wanderer, it's not hard to get LOST!)
I was waaaay more tired at the end of that one, but it was such a feeling of euphoria as well! :) Now, I don't know if I'll ever do another marathon, because the training for the San Francisco marathon the following year (I trained for 20 weeks, building up the first 10 or 11 weeks, then tapering down) was reeeeeeeeally boring to me, as was about half of the actual race course - they routed it through some of the boringest parts of the city (when I'm bored, I run slower - took 7:32 to finish that SF marathon!), but hmm - the mini- runs, the 5ks and 10ks and that, that we have here in Toronto all the time, would certainly motivate me! And there's the Basque marathon, or the Paris one ... oooh, there are certainly options that might motivate me to take up running again! :)
Did I say that? No. Never again. I'm NOT a runner - this is simply a runner's high speaking. Go to bed, Maya, you really need to catch up on the missing 4 hours of sleep from last night ...
'Night, all! :)
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Those were the action-plan steps to get to goal. How did I do yesterday? Great! I'm still working on the 15-minute-non-stop intervals, but other than that, I hit _every_ one of those action steps.
My legs are slightly stiff after doing 5k 2 days in a row. :) So today, I'm easing off. I'll still do my hula hooping, but no strenuous cardio. Oh, I did go in to the gym just to get my 'fix' of stepping on the scales, so then I decided I might as well at least do an active recovery day - so I got on the bike for a few minutes. :) Felt good - not as stiff now.
The scales claim I've gained another half a pound (211.5) - but I can feel the strength in my legs, so hopefully that's muscle, not just calcifying blubber. :) My official weigh-in is Monday, so everything until then is just noise. So there.
I _will_ make sure to keep an eye on the scales and on what I'm eating - no point in focusing on one thing to the exclusion of all else, after all!
Ooooh - one little bit of good news: it looks like the pool will soon be in commission again! Yay! I was resenting having to sweat like a pig when I'd rather be swimming. :) Not that I swim all that often, but it's nice to have the option. Yes, I'm one of those contrary people! :)
My mini-action step today is to try to stay close to the lower end of my calorie range since I'm not doing strenuous cardio today!
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