Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Well, my husband and I met with the school psychologist and my son's teacher today about his outrageous behavior. The teacher walked in with a broken pencil and a straightened out paper clip. She had just confiscated them from the little wild man, who had been breaking pencils all day and he was using the straight clip to poke the other boys to get them riled up. I just shook my head. The school psychologist, who is a friend of ours (and is always so pleasant and positive, and his wife is too), just smiled and said, "Well, let's talk about all these behaviors." He told us that he had observed Justin and that he thought we had cause to be concerned that Justin has trouble focusing on his work, controlling his impulses, sitting still and complying with rules. We went over lots of his behaviors and talked a lot about his strong points along with his less that nice behaviors.
His teacher, Mrs. M, asked us how long we had seen these behaviors. I said, "Since he started walking." She also wanted to know if he acted out in after school so I told her about the time he had come home from the YMCA summer program wearing another child's underwear with his in his bookbag, and how he had been kicked out of day care right after turning 3 years old, and about him stealing money off his daddy's desk since he was 18 months old and also about him calling us stupid and being defiant and "hating" us. We talked some more and she said that Justin lies to her so she doesn't know what to believe. I said, "I can tell when he is lying." She said, "How can you tell?" I said, "When he starts talking." It took her a second and she just burst out laughing. She looked at my husband and said, "I have to tell you, when you were sick for the several weeks you were out of work, I really had a great time getting know your wife!" She just patted my arm and said, "You make me laugh." I told her that if I didn't laugh about our situation, I would go crazy with it.
When we got finished talking some more, I made sure to tell Mrs. M that we were behind her 100% on the little wild man's behaviors and were doing all we could with him. She assured us that she knew we were doing our best at home with him and that she felt that we totally supported her in her efforts with him. Then the psychologist asked us how we felt about medication because a lot of people don't want to give their kid the medicine and don't want them labeled. I just looked at him and said, "Why wouldn't they! We are living in hell at our house dealing with this. I told him that we certainly want to do something to work on this and if medication and behavior plans could work together, then we would not rule it out. And as for labeling, he was overly active, NOT a felon!! Besides, if we can't get this under control and he can't be medicated, then they will have to medicate me or I won't make it to the second grade with this kid!
So, we are now going to talk with his medical doctor and see what he says. If he is not on board with us about this, then we are going to see a psychiatrist that my sister took my nephew to. This lady helped him tremendously. He went from almost failing the 8th grade (saved only by the end of grade tests), to making all A's and a few B's in the 9th grade. It has done wonders for him.
I will not let my child or his education suffer because of being afraid he is "labeled" or "medicated". His behaviors are certainly not the most severe, but they are definitely at least moderate, or most likely, somewhere between moderate and severe. But, the teacher agrees that he is very intelligent. To squander that without trying whatever we can, would be a huge waste to him and could greatly affect his future!
So, off we go into the land of hyper kids! This is overwhelming.....
Saturday, January 07, 2012
Good morning! Grab a cup of coffee and join me! I feel a blog coming on. Lately, I have been mulling over things and it just keeps coming to mind that there are so many different ways to live your life and lots of time it isn't clear what path we should take. I think that many times, we just wait and see what happens in life. That sounds okay until I actually THINK about it. I mean, what if I turn 70 and nothing has happened? Famous athletes don't just sit at home and wait for a pro team to come and hire them to play. They get out there and play their game. The try-out, practice, and enjoy their life. Same with artists. They didn't just decide, "Hey! I think I will start painting and immediately paint a picture that becomes priceless." They actually paint and enjoy it and eventually someone notices and they get attention. But, I will just about bet that it was never about making money at it or being famous for them, it was about enjoying what they were good at.
I was at UNC when Michael Jordan was playing basketball. I ran into him and a few of his teammates from time to time on campus. What really still sticks with me today is not that they were great basketball players. What I remember was that they were just guys. I even thought James Worthy was a football player because I met him in the fall after he had broken his ankle and I had severely sprained mine and we both ended up in physical therapy at the same time. He laughed at me when I asked him about football. My dad was just mortified when he found out I met him and thought he was a football player. I didn't read the sports section, but my dad did. He was one of the top ranked freshmen entering the college sports field that year. Well, DAD!! He was just a guy!! He loved basketball.
After Michael Jordan went pro, there was a blurb on a local news channel about him playing a pick-up game of basketball in Wilmington either near or at his former high school. He didn't do it because it made him any money. In fact, I figure he probably shook his head with the news coverage and wondered that the local media didn't have anything better to report on besides a guy shooting some hoops with his friends. I know that I certainly wondered that when I saw the story run at 6:00pm. I mean, was there nothing else happening that day? Are we going to have to start watching local celebs walk around the block for excitement? It was a pick-up game for a bunch of high school friends. They played because they enjoyed it.
So, here's the thing. I have a choice to make. I can either sit back and take what life hands me or I can actually pursue the things I love and enjoy. What if the things I enjoy don't just happen for me? Do I sit back years from now and regret that I never took advantage of the time I have now to pursue those dreams? How am I going to feel when it is too late? How do I feel that I haven't gotten started yet already?
Well, I'll tell you exactly how I feel. I love to write. I love music. I love to read. I am pretty sure I will love to be skinny and healthy for the rest of my life. So, what now? This is it! I am going to Seize the Day!!!
I am already looking back at my life and thinking about what has happened. I have things I am truly grateful for and proud of. I am glad I never moved away from my family. I truly enjoy them and want to be near them. I am VERY grateful to God for working it out for us to adopt the little wild man. (I am glad God ignores me when I feel like maybe I made a mistake!) I am glad I started ringing handbells and am very grateful that I have been able to direct our youth handbell choir, Bellievers, since 1998 at my church. I am also glad that I take every opportunity I can to write.
However, I look back and can see a few places that I have not been satisfied and have fallen short. So today is here now and I can change those things right now, or I can sit back and think about how I never took a chance to make a few things happen.
So, here is my fork in the road....quit or pursue. Today, I choose to pursue. (Who knows what tomorrow will bring? I don't intend to worry about tomorrow. I have today and this is the only day I can live in.)
So, I have just a few things I really love and want to spend more time on.
1. I am going to write a book. I don't care if it is any good or not, I just want to do it. I am starting today.
2. I want to lose weight. I remember feeling wonderful when I was healthier and slimmer. I am starting today. I start every day on this one. Every day is day one. Doesn't mean I cheated, but just every morning is a new start. The book will be different. The progress will be in the pages unlike my weight. Weight is different. Whatever is there is there and you can only attack that truly one day at a time.
3. I want to really work on giving my handbell ringers a chance to grow and succeed in their music. Before I became a mom, I had lots of time to develop activities and plans for them and the last 7 years have been tough. Justin is now 7 and not as dependent on mommy, so it is time to begin to really focus on my group of girls.
I think those three things will be all I need for now. That is plenty. Those are the 3 things that are solely mine that I want to tackle.
Monday, January 02, 2012
Today I will live in the present and stop looking to the future and distracting myself with it. I cannot be 70 pounds lighter today, so I will eat healthy today. I will not have really cut and beautiful muscles in my arms and legs today, so I will just focus on my exercise goal for today. I am going to just be me today, so I will love myself today and not worry about how much I will love myself when I am "skinny".
I will live in the present, remember my goals (without living in the future with them), and get something accomplished today.
I will not be at my goals tomorrow, but will be one step closer.
I am still here in the present and deserve to be loved. I am not to be discarded until I am "happy", "skinny", or "anything else I put in this space each day".
Here I am. I can like it or do what I can today to change it. Can't worry about tomorrow because it will never be tomorrow. It will only be today!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
I need to organize my desk at work. I am drowning in paperwork and just can't seem to get caught up. Today, I am making a big dent. Then tonight, I am getting my roots colored and highlights put in. I love hair appointment day!
Get An Email Alert Each Time BIG29HARVICKFAN Posts