Saturday, September 15, 2012
I've noticed among the ladies I follow that have lost significant amounts of weight (50, 100, 150 lbs or more) that their hair often lengthens and lightens as the weight comes off. This is not always the case, and I'm certainly not saying long hair is necessarily more attractive- everyone has preferences and can look awesome with differing do's. But the transition to long and blonde is something I see quite often... and I have a theory as to why this is so. Having healthy, long, color-treated hair takes patience, time. It often requires budgeting and consistent maintenance.
Weight loss is no different. I think as we take better care of ourselves we learn that we are worth the time it takes to look and FEEL a certain way. Flowing locks are just a symbol of the inner transformation. We begin to say, "I am beautiful, I am worth the time and energy it takes to look and feel this good."
Someday I hope to put the short auburn look behind me...
Saturday, August 11, 2012
To every jerk who has ever heckled me on stage while I'm doing something you would never have the guts to even attempt; to every idiot who felt the need to yell something unkind to me from their car as I RAN past you at Hugh McRae or the outskirts of Halyburton; to every hipster chick who has rolled their eyes at me, impatiently waiting to use my machine at Planet Fitness while I complete ANOTHER set: I am unphased. I run faster than you. I eat healthier than you. I lift heavier than you. I am in the best shape of my adult life and it's only going to get better from here. My success is my own, and it's all FOR me. The victory does not belong to you or anyone else. Now get out of my way.
Friday, July 20, 2012
After three years on Spark and hundreds of fresh starts, I've finally come to the conclusion that my focus may have been off along. I've been sabotaging myself inadvertently and it's time for yet another new beginning. :)
I need to focus on the air in my lungs, and the way my sneakers feel as they separate and return to the asphalt. I need to relish the taste of the fresh fruit that has replaced my afternoon coffee & cookie habit. Spark has taught me in the past to focus on small wins; I've broken my goals down before only to lose sight of the end goal, develop a position of complacency, and slip into Sparkpeople obscurity. I track less and less, I blog never. I dread the scale, dread facing coworkers who have seen me in everything from a size L scrubs to a tight 2X in the last 2 years. Recently, we began a 3 month weight loss challenge with a $400+ winner's pot. It's a hell of a motivator, to be honest. But the thing that has become my newest form of motivation, and my new choice of focus, is the feeling of now.
I keep waiting for my life to start. One day, I'll pay off my school loans, rock a size 8, start my sleeve, have a clean house, grow out my hair, have clear skin... I've been focusing on the future for so long. The long term goals I made a year ago didn't come to fruition because I focused so intently on where I was going and not at all at where I was at the time.
We recently made the decision for my husband to leave his 9-5 satisfaction-free job to return to school. It will take about three years, but we will double our yearly income and change our lives forever. In the mean time, I'm our only source of income and I'm still working on my master's degree full time. Thinking in the long term in this regard dose make it easier to face picking up an extra twelve hours per week at the hospital; it makes the prospect of switching to night shift to earn more money seem appealing. But it makes it INCREDIBLY crucial for me to focus on making every moment count. It's so cliche, but it has become a reality. I have to focus on making the most of my waking hours.
I left Facebook- it was stressing me out and having a negative impact on my life. So for those who care to join me, the next 5 months are going to be a study of me learning how to live in the now and learning how to truly LIVE. My goals will be set at one week at a time. I choose not to set my weeks in terms of Sunday to Saturday, because I work such a random schedule that weekends mean nothing. For instance today is MY Sunday.
Setting goals one week at time is a little strange for me, but it will help me focus on the now and accumulate small wins.
July 20 - July 27
Complete three c25k runs.
Drink 54 glasses of water.
Complete three circuit training workouts at the gym.
Meditate, journal or blog for 10 minutes every day.
Track every day
Do something recreational with the husband (non-gym related--- oh yeah, he goes to the gym with me now. He LOVES it. Still trying to get him to join SP, though. )
Alrighty then. Here I go.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Ugh- I'm typing this from my flippin' recliner when I should be running. Actually I'm supposed to be at work. Instead, I'm in tremendous pain and I can't really walk.
At the outset of last week, I had decided to NOT go for my first half marathon in May, because I felt like it was too much pressure. By midweek, however, I came to the realization that the demands on my time were about lessen significantly (done for the semester this week! = one year of grad school DOWN!) and that this goal was indeed attainable. So I registered for a 5K for April 20th, another on May 5th, and went ahead and purchased my spot in the Divas Half Marathon in Myrtle Beach, SC. I ran 6 miles on Thursday, beat my PR- my sustainable goal pace was super comfortable, and I was on cloud nine.
Then this happened.
I was feeling so good. I pushed too hard through that last run, didn't pause when I felt hot spots (because I can't pause on race day, right?)
Lesson learned... but I'm heartbroken. There's no way I'll be able to run a 5K on Saturday. I can't even walk to the bathroom. I showed them to an MD at work yesterday and she said rest them for the weekend before I go to a doc to get them looked at (the redness and funky drainage looks like infection to me- but it could also be because I haven't really had the opportunity to stay off of them until today.) The blister treatment bandages are too small- they actually excoriated the edges a little bit when I tried them only temporarily.
Looks like I'm going to need to eat perfectly for a few days- I'm going to do some upper body stuff, some pushups, anything that lets me sweat and stay off my tootsies. I've wanted to try Pilates- many of those are floor exercises, right? There are DVDs on Netflix and blogilates is on my Bookmarks Bar...
I'll never take walking for granted again- which I said after my ACL repair when I was 15... but for some reason this experience has more weight. I have to pace myself and listen to my body. Muscle pain from working = good, to a point. Skin pain because your socks are a little big and you normally take walking breaks if you're exceeding 3 miles? BAD. Bad bad bad.
When I'm better, I will never ever pass up an opportunity to be active again, because this is the first time in my life I've ever WANTED to do something active and I physically can't. It's all been mental before.
Blech. Ouch. Wah.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
So long story short: mom and grandma, both in the hospital in mid-to-late February. Both are out, grandma is in physical rehab for a few weeks, mom is... mom. :)
Added dairy and whole grains back in- feeling much better. A stall for the past few weeks, but time demands have limited my workouts and I've used stress as an excuse to eat poorly.
Had a show on Saturday- I felt hot as crap. New corset, spanx and leggings... I looked awesome. Got heckled anyway- what a loser... oh well. It was a great show BUT my confidence is shaken. I'll be hosting rather than performing for a little while, before the show goes on hiatus for a few months any way. Plenty of time to get some progress going.
Let's see... my 2nd 5K (first was in 2010) is in ten days. I've been running shorter runs and focusing on speed. This weekend I'll transition back to longer paced runs.
I started Jillian's 30 Day Shred today. I've done it partially in the past without changing my diet, became frustrated with lack of results (go figure!) and usually quit after week two. I don't know that I'll get to it every day, but I have learned that even on days I work, I need to get in at least 20 minutes to see results. I wish my brain and body would get in agreement: Losing 30 minutes of sleep is the difference between losing 1/2 lb a week and 3 lbs. Come on body- get with the program.
My goals for the next 30 days are to track more consistently, log at least 20 minutes of dedicated activity EVERY day, and increase my dumbell weight each week with the Shred.
The hardest part will the 20 minute a day goal. I average 45-90 minutes minimum on off-days, schoolwork/massive project or no. I make it a priority, because workdays are so unpredictable. I'm a nurse on a MedSurg floor, I work days- so I go in before the sun comes up, I get to leave after it's down. 13.2 hr days on average... and it's labor-intensive MedSurg... I'd kill for an 8 to 5. If I could go the gym at 6, shower, and be to work at 8.... whoo buddy my life would be so different! I'd probably find excuses to not get up at 6, though... :)
I have a pair of jeans I want to wear on my birthday, which is three weeks away. They're the size I wear in the brand I wear... I swear they are sized incorrectly. They are distressed and cute, and they are sitting on a shelf in my closet. Waaaaant.
Here's a to the next few weeks- striving for consistency. Consistency = results.
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