BEVPRESLEY 122,252 SparkPoints

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# The Laws of Ultimate Reality

### Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Here is another goodie from my dad.

THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY

& Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

& Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible crevice farthest away from you.

& Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

& Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

& Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire while running late for work.

& Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

& Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

& Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

& Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

& Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

& Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

& The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

& Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

& Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

& Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

& Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

& Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

& Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

& Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor. By the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick

 TOWHEE 6/16/2010 1:10AM Too true! Report Inappropriate Comment
 LILPAT3 6/15/2010 9:44PM Very nice....and so true! Report Inappropriate Comment
 FITKAT2010 6/15/2010 7:09PM These are priceless! Report Inappropriate Comment

# 2010 Tennessee Tandem Rally

### Tuesday, June 08, 2010

We are home safe and sound. We had some great, if difficult rides around Franklin. There are some really nice hills, and many gravely places that are being repaired due to all the flooding. Traffic was very light and drivers were all very kind to cyclists. I was surprised at the number of cyclists we saw every day. We had 47 registered teams, but one didn't get to ride due to knee surgery. Fortunately the drove a SAG wagon and we were all so very thankful. It was VERY hot and humid and the water was so very welcome. Here are some pics of the rides.

Friday, remote start, 40 miles.

Rest stop at Fly's, a great old country store.

Part of the flood damage.

Part of the ride was on the Natchez Trace Parkway.

Saturday we started from the hotel, 54 miles.

Some lovely downhills (preceded by some deadly uphills).

Sunday, started from the hotel again, 25 miles.

Small one lane tunnel we passed through several times.

We had a great time with some really great people. I'm looking forward to riding again next year.

Here is another picture I just received from a friend. It is of us at the top of the hill, just before the BIG downhill on Saturday.

 LILPAT3 6/9/2010 11:18PM Looks like fun. Lovely pictures! Report Inappropriate Comment
 CARLANNIE 6/8/2010 9:26AM What fun! That is quite an accomplishment. How many miles did you ride all together? Report Inappropriate Comment
 NANA2PRINCESSES 6/8/2010 6:02AM Great accomplishment! Thanks for sharing. Report Inappropriate Comment
 TERRIEJO53 6/8/2010 12:09AM It sounds like you had a great ride. The event reminds me of CANDISC (Cycling Around North Dakota in Sakakawea Country) a week long 400 mile (give or take) ride through this area of North Dakota. Last year our Boy Scout troop manned one of the rest stops as a fund raiser. We did very well, clearing over \$1,500 selling breakfast burritos, fruit, baked goods and beverages. We won an additional \$500 by being voted the best rest stop on the route. We had lots of fun in the process of making all that money. People come from all over the country to participate in the event. Report Inappropriate Comment

# Alabama's Magnificant Bike Adventure (AMBA)

### Sunday, May 23, 2010

DH and I managed to get away for a couple of days and ride 2 days in Auburn with AMBA. We rode 40 miles on Tues and Wed. Wed had some (as a friend puts it) opportunities, AKA hills. Over 2,400 ft climbing in 40 miles may not seem like much for some, but for me it was tough. But we made it. Here are some of our pics. Please remember, these were taken from the back of a bike as we rolled down the road.

We did take time to visit some historic buildings. One was a log cabin and I couldn't resist taking a picture of a quilt they had on display.

 SVELTSTER 5/24/2010 11:54PM Seriously beautiful scenery--thanks for sharing the photos. Report Inappropriate Comment
 LILPAT3 5/23/2010 1:51PM Thank you for sharing your photos. My landscape is a little different. Lovely! Report Inappropriate Comment
 DOLLBABE56 5/23/2010 12:02PM 40 miles is a long way. Way to go! Love the pix. I hope the weather wasn't too hot. Report Inappropriate Comment
 MAKULEWAHINE 5/23/2010 11:53AM What a hill! Wow! Your legs must be like rock.....so you can "Rock on". LOL Great pics and it looks like a fun ride even with the hills. Good for you. Report Inappropriate Comment
 CARLANNIE 5/23/2010 9:00AM How fun! 2,400 ft elevation rise is nothing to sneeze at. WTG! Report Inappropriate Comment
 DOR2BFIT 5/23/2010 7:09AM Wow-are you kidding? I'm very impressed! What a beautiful landscape. Report Inappropriate Comment
 CAROLYN1ALASKA 5/23/2010 2:48AM Sounds like so much fun!!!The photos are great too... thanks so much for sharing. Report Inappropriate Comment
 UNSTOPPABLE_ 5/23/2010 1:16AM Oh How beautiful...You should be so proud of yourself! I hope to get that fit myself! Report Inappropriate Comment

# Bob cats and lizards and snakes, oh my.

### Monday, May 17, 2010

Before he went to work yesterday, DH and I got out yesterday and did an 11 mile mountain bike ride in an area we haven't ridden in a long time. I was a wild life kind of day, should have been tipped of by all the buzzards that kept circling. We started with a swarm of deer flies that followed us everywhere, till we hit a long down hill and out ran them. We approached what looked like a large (2 ft long) snake in the road. As we passed it we discovered it was a beautiful legless lizard. It was a lovely green/yellow color and bounced away as we passed him. Then about a mile further down the trail, a very large bob cat was standing on the bank beside the trail and ran off when she saw us. Glad she doesn't like cyclists. And, just to cap off the ride, we wriggled our way past a small copperhead that was laying in the sun. We made it back to the truck (which was still there, but that's another story) with no further incidents. I gotta find a way to keep the camera ready on the mountain bike.

 WANDAC2013 5/17/2010 11:47AM That sounds absolutely wonderful! I love those wild life kind of days....Saturday, I found a gopher snake outside the back door, which we promptly brought in for a bit and enjoyed , then led him to the gopher holes! Report Inappropriate Comment
 TERI99 5/17/2010 11:37AM I'm such a phobic wimp when it come to slithery wildlife, I can assure you that I would be off the bike and safely enjoying your beautiful view from behind a window. I admire your bravery. I must be a born and bred suburban girl. Report Inappropriate Comment
 LILPAT3 5/17/2010 10:54AM Copperheads are beautiful but I despise them even more than the rattlesnakes I am around all the time. Fantastic ride! Report Inappropriate Comment
 CAM1325 5/17/2010 10:06AM you have to admit, keeps you guessing and on your toes!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

# Could You Have Passed the 8th Grade in 1895? ...Take a Look:

### Wednesday, May 12, 2010

I have received this as an e-mail several times. Thought I would share it with all of you and see how you would do.

This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 from Salina, KS. USA.
It was taken from the original document on file at the Smoky Valley
Genealogical Society and Library in Salina, KS and reprinted by the
Salina Journal.

8th Grade Final Exam: Salina, KS - 1895

Grammar (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of Capital Letters.
2. Name the Parts of Speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define Verse, Stanza and Paragraph.
4. What are the Principal Parts of a verb? Give Principal Parts of do, lie, lay and run.
5. Define Case, Illustrate each Case.
6. What is Punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of Punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.

Arithmetic (Time, 1.25 hours)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50 cts. per bu., deducting 1050 lbs. for tare?
4. District No. 33 has a valuation of \$35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at \$50 per month, and have \$104 for incidentals?
5. Find cost of 6720 lbs. coal at \$6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of \$512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at \$20 per m?
8. Find bank discount on \$300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at \$15 per are, the distance around which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.

U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of theRebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates:
1607
1620
1800
1849
1865

Orthography (Time, one hour)
1. What is meant by the following: Alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication?
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: Trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals?
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'.
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e'. Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: Bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono,super.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: Card, ball, mercy, sir, odd,cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences, Cite, site, sight, fane,fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced andindicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.

Geography (Time, one hour)
1. What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is theocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America.
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba,Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fermandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.
7. Name all the republics of Europe and give capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give inclination of the earth.

 BETTYK44 5/18/2010 10:51PM wow times have so changed! I don't think I would have done well, would have loved to be educated more thoroughly as it seems people of that era were...can we go back? I mean can't we read more, learn more and become what we almost missed out on?I know it won't be the same, and there are struggles to maintain our daily media filled lives here & now but can't we work a little at a time striving to better or minds and strengthen our lives in all areas?Let's do it! Report Inappropriate Comment
 COLEENCOLE 5/13/2010 8:52AM I would have passed the arithmetic, history and orthography. The grammar would have truly done me in. Report Inappropriate Comment
 PINETREEGIRL 5/12/2010 10:15PM Wow--I fell short in all subjects! Report Inappropriate Comment
 GCHUNG 5/12/2010 9:17PM I would fail Grammar, Orthography and Geography. I would have passed Arithmetic and History - both barely. It's interesting how much was KS specific. I know the test was from a school in KS, but I don't recall that much locational specific questions when I went to school, but more general to the U.S. Report Inappropriate Comment
 MAKULEWAHINE 5/12/2010 4:30PM I wonder if I ever knew any of that!!! Gives you pause, doesn't it? Report Inappropriate Comment
 CAM1325 5/12/2010 11:41AM I am not Smarter than a 5th Grader, how could I possibly pass an 8th grade test????????? Report Inappropriate Comment

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