Tuesday, December 14, 2010
This may be rather disjointed, so please forgive. I just wanted to get my thoughts written down.
This morning I was reading a blog by BETTERNEXTTIME, and she was writing about her loss of 50 lbs and how she was freaking out a little bit. I've only lost 30, but I as I was reading her blog, I started thinking, and realizing that maybe I've been doing the same thing, along with a little self-sabotage. I keep thinking to myself, "ok, you've lost 30 lbs, you won't lose more and you'll always be the big girl." I had my work Christmas party at The Cheesecake Factory the other night, and overall I think I did pretty good. I only had half my steak, a few fries, and a few bites of my cheesecake. I didn't get to the gym for a couple days, and for some reason, I always tend to eat worse when I haven't worked out in a day or two. Yesterday, that cheesecake was in the fridge and screaming my name. I thought I would just have a couple of bites, and ended up eating half. I thought "I've worked hard and I've earned this." Finally I smacked myself upside the head and threw the rest away. I went to the gym yesterday and did a full 65 mins on the elliptical, and felt great. Came home, had my salad, etc. But then after dinner I had a couple of mini Snickers.
What is wrong with me??? I should know better. I see all of the success stories of my fellow sparkers, but yet I think "I could never do that." But I can and I will! I will stop self-sabotaging myself and I will be successful in becoming healthy! Even if it takes me another year to lose the remaining 45 lbs till my goal weight. I will do this!!!