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Saturday, May 05, 2012

...and enjoying my "last" translate first real day off, yesterday was all about catching up around the house and fending off the overzealous affections of cats, dogs, goats and even surprisingly chickens who all seemed to miss me when I was gone. LOL

Five weeks that seemed life forever filled with stress and worry and lots to do yet still gave me that much uninterrupted quality time with my Mom and Dad even if it involved my fussing more at them about the things we all need to do for our health.

Mom's Dr gave me a book to read, Eat to Live by Joel Fuhrman, MD. I am just about done with it. I think when I go shopping next as my budget expands with a return to being a DINK *(Double Income No Kids)* household that my Love and I are, I am going to get stuff to make some of the recipes out of the book. It's very simple, really, if limiting of animal proteins, as much as the animal proteins we regularly consume are better than the factory farmed drug induced things that pass for meat and eggs and such for most of the country they should still be limited.

Today is my first solitary "V-day" as Daddy coined them, called for by his Cardiologist at least weekly, for a vegetarian day with very limited low fat/fat free dairy items if you must. I do have to admit that I like my animal proteins at a mouth level but I don't miss them physically like some people say they do. I suppose that's all the more reason to go ahead with their limitation since it doesn't really bother me that much. I DID find a vegan CORN DOG that is finally the answer to my mouth's want for the evil that is corn dog that doesn't make me feel sick after eating it like all the others my food cravings have driven me to consume. They are made my a company called Morning Star Farms. Everything we tried for Daddy's V-days besides the usual oatmeal, nut butter & fruit spread on whole wheat and pot o'beans came from this company and was a FAR cry from some of the non animal protein choices that I remember when I first started doing yoga in college and gave a go at not eating animals through the course of several classes and yoga programs. ALL THAT STUFF TASTED LIKE CARDBOARD! I still flinch at the whole idea of something coming from a box instead of the fridge and cupboards but am willing to let that be my "bad" things like the corn dogs for instance and another I am particularly fond of the "breaded chicken patties" again a form of TVP but apparently someone somewhere along the line did finally figure out a way to make it taste more like chicken and less like the box they put it in!!!

I so thought I would have blogged more at mom's. Turns out maybe I just needed to write whether or not anyone read it or not! LOL I had promised Rob to blog everyday so he'd know what was going on and it's sort of a nostalgia for us from when we lived in Vegas and worked opposite schedules and took public transportation, which only leaves about two hours in a day to see each other if one of us skipped two hours of sleep, I worked for a tech company and we had internet access in the cafeteria so after lunch and a smoke, I'd sit back down at a terminal, (I know some break for someone who sits at a computer all day at the time for work already?!?, Right?), and blog on Myspace. Even though we didn't get to see each other I blogged three times a day and Rob read it and commented and all that. My parents live off the grid seven miles from a town of less than 400 people so there is no DSL!! The timeout on the dial up and/or connectivity issues ate more blogs while I was there than not. I guess it really does just help sometimes to type it all out and let it go!

I got some killer birthday gifts! Strange, it wasn't even anything I thought about. I was so focused on my birthday being the date Daddy saw his cardiac surgeon and might be released to light duty and driving and I was going to get home I never thought of gifts. Having my father still around after an encounter with some of the statistically most fatal cardiac events and getting to go back to my house with my Love and pets and other critters, plants etc seemed like the best gift ever! Imagine my surprise when parents asked what I wanted and I had no clue. It wasn't until I was out in the back yard and later on the back porch doing yoga and almost tipping over trying to hold a pose that needed a block for a prop which I didn't have the balance or the prop to complete and my dad asked what would fix that, my father always Mr. Fix-it that he is responded when I said the pose, Wheel, could be easier to relax into with blocks. He quipped that what I was doing didn't look relaxing at all in fact looked hard and nothing like what remembered of the 1960's "yoga movement" with a bunch of "weird people chanting", this looked more like exercise and work. LOL Either way, he was sappy for a moment and I got one of those, "I'm proud of you for doing things that improve your health, now that I know what a person's supposed to do and all, and that's just what you'll have then." When we went shopping, the day before my birthday actually, his appointment had to be moved, ya know cardiac surgeons and their schedules are always flaky, (or maybe having to unexpectedly open up someone's chest to keep them from dying after they come in on a life flight helicopter just doesn't lend itself to keeping a strict schedule!), anyhow, I'm so rambling here, but when my father found out the blocks were ten bucks he decided that I needed way more than that for my birthday, so as much as I HATE shopping I got sent off with mom to the ladies fitness apparel section for new yoga pants and a top that is actually meant for yoga. OMG! IT'S AMAZING!!!! It doesn't ride up, pinch, bind or even have to have a bra under it, it's all one piece with built in bosom support and my belly doesn't even show a bit during sun salutations!! Also, there was this super cute mat bag with a pretty swirled black screen print abstract design on natural canvas that I love even if my bigger thicker squishy mat doesn't fit it, my thin one does with my straps, bands and yoga clothes! Oh yeah, and the item that started this whole thing off, the yoga blocks! Ahhhhhh stability in difficult poses! I suppose that about sums up the last five weeks of my life when you look at it that way!

Anyhow, at this point I'm blogging to procrastinate. It's cold and windy and yucky looking outside and I still have to get my promised half hour walk in today. I've added over the last five weeks, a daily minimum of half an hour of walking/hiking and a weekly "V-day" usually Saturdays since Dad got out of the hospital but Mom and Dad are going to a friend of Dad's birthday party today so I'm pretty sure they are rescheduling "V-day" to another day this week, along with my usual yoga 3 hours a week and fasting on Sundays. It's a good thing I'm not on a schedule that keeps "regular work week" shifts! I'd have blown that whole "it's the weekend" excuse to eat poorly and binge! My "weekends" are Wednesdays and Thursdays so that's still something I have to deal with.

I'm off to find warm outside hiking gear when I'd just put most of that away in favor of lighter stuff!



Wednesday, May 02, 2012

I get to go HOME tomorrow! Well, after a final trip to Missoula this week. Daddy was released for "light duty" by his heart surgeon today. He could drive yesterday, so he did twice LOL Anyhow, I haven't yet sorted out whether I'm "due" for my freakout now or if I'll need it or not. I know I plan to see the bottom of a few bottles tomorrow night, not only is it the first time I can let go and not worry, it's my birthday! Bummer, some though, my Love got called today and has to work at midnight. Not sure how late I"m gonna make it either, LOL staying with the parents for 5 weeks where they get up when it starts to get light and go to bed when it starts to get dark or they get tired whichever comes first has my sleep schedule stable and no where near what it can ever be at home. More than anything, my regular work schedule doesn't allow it, two days, two nights three days off one of which Rob works graves. Well, I'm sure I'll be rambling about lots more in the coming week or so once I get home and settled or mid-freak out over whatever comes next but I hope at least to get settled in and relax for a day before it all starts up again. I go back to business as usual Sunday. So, I"ve got to figure out how to keep doing all the healthy things I've worked on at Mom & Dad's when I'm back on my home, work & life schedule. Eeeks! And I thought, I was done with the hard part for this round!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GCHUNG 5/4/2012 11:36AM

    Go celebrate your birthday!!! enjoy

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MT-MOONCHASER 5/3/2012 12:57AM

    That should be a relief to sleep in your own bed.

I hope all goes well.


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YAY! Technical Error~ I haven't been as bad as I thought!!!!

Friday, April 27, 2012

So, after accepting that I've just been horrible to myself in the last year's self-destructive habits and lack of healthy ways and going on walking, doing yoga and eating well at the paren'ts house for Daddy's newfound studies of heart healthy habits The scale said yesterday that I'd lost 3 pounds! When I sat down today to track it I noticed at some point when I'd updated my weight I"d actually changed my "before" weight accidentally instead of my current updated weight! My little weight tracker thing now says I've lost 44 pounds since I started which is what I figured I"d kept off for the last 3 years. ~big releived sigh~ Thanks for all the msgs, comments and e-mails of support and love everyone when I thought I'd gained back almost all the weight I'd lost! You guys all rock!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MT-MOONCHASER 4/29/2012 7:50PM

    I'm glad that you got that all figured out and now you know that you are on track.

Have a good week.


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LUXITTA 4/27/2012 12:12PM

    Well its good that you have figured out the technicality - Keep it going!

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Saturday, April 21, 2012




majorly bummed...

Tuesday, April 17, 2012 the scale. ~SIGH~

So, I'm at Mom's cooking and helping Daddy learn about a heart healthy diet after his double bypass surgery, walking every day and feeling pretty good about all of it all around.

Then, we set up Mom's new digital scale and in testing it I got on it. It says I weigh 345 LBS.!!!!

BUMMER!!!!!! I can't beleive it. I knew I"d gained weight back over the last year or so that I"d F'd off my exercise and eating but THAT MUCH???? I checked against the old balance scale she has and i got several readings ranging from more than the digital one said to less by a variance of like 30 lbs. I am so confused and bummed right now. Getting angry or depressed and saying F*&% it! and binging isn't an option because I have to work with Daddy in his post-surgical recovery but I'm so blah, my whole weight tracker now says I've lost 3lbs. I don't know, maybe it's just the difference in the scale? maybe the new digital critter doesn't really work right, I don't know but I don't like it and I will be here for at least a couple more weeks using that scale so I might as well resign myself to the fact that I"m not quite "starting over' but really did blow off my healthy efforts or Mom's new digital scale is broken. ~SIGH~

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BETHHARRIS 4/21/2012 11:18AM

    Thanks for the comments guys! It's weird, when I see people I haven't seen in awhile everyone says I look great and have definitly lost weight. So I'm confused and not sure what's going on but maybe I'll just keep doing the same things I have to do with the parents for now and hiking and walking and all that and just ignore the damn scale!! Joann, I can put the jeans you gave me on without any difficulty, so either I'd just gained WAY more than I thought and am working my way back down or there is that whole thing about muscle weighing more than fat but taking up less space. Don't know, but freaking out about it and being depressed or eating poorly or blowing it all off SO isn't going to help matters either way. :) Love you guys!!!

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SUGARSMOM2 4/18/2012 5:49PM

  what ever you do. do not give up . this is a fight for your life . you are worth so much and you have to stop and take a deep breathe and let is out slow . now we get a plan . keep track of food and what you do to use the energy that you eat and use up . this is good that you are working with your dad . take the time to learn for yourself and put all this information to use . you must treat yourself better . if you found a friend in pain you would not be this angry with them . treat yourself as a friend . I hate scales i am sure we have enough people to start our own hate the scales club. down with scales that lie . keep your spirits up. we are all behind you ..

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JOANNSTEVENS 4/18/2012 3:37PM

    Sorry Beth but please don't give up. Your previous success is one of the reasons I have kept at it and been successful. All your advice has been great for me. I know you can do it, I've seen you do it :)

Love and miss you tons ((hugs))

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