BETH7CAM   65,814
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Fear of the unknown

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Hi, all,
About a year ago, I applied for an assistance dog to help with my disability. Well, I just found out that I report to team training February 20, and though I am excited, I'm also petrified. I have been making life a living hell for everyone the past week.
I am pasting here my note of apology:

My apologies for the way I've been acting.
This is not meant to excuse my actions (there is no excuse), but to
give you a little insight as to where I am right now.
The idea of team training makes me incredibly scared. Not only because
it means meeting and interacting with new people, which has never been
my favorite thing, but my biggest fear is...failure. Losing the money
that has been contributed on my behalf. Training will be difficult,
and if they decide I can't graduate I will have to return here, to
people who have been eagerly anticipating the dog's arrival, to
questions...if I come home without the dog, people will know I have
failed, that it's my fault.
I see the dog as my last chance at happiness. I've seen so much
unhappiness in my life-unsuccessful relationships, loss, pain. The
possibility of the dog is my last shot. And if things don't work out,
well, I'm not sure what will happen.
I will do my best to interact with everyone as little as possible over
the next month. It's safer for everyone that way.
I hope you can forgive me.
Any support or comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSJERRYBUSH 2/1/2012 4:40PM

    Saying a prayer for your success right now!

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    You are not a failure!

You'll get the dog or not - this has nothing to do with you being a failure.

You can do this!

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FIT_TERI 1/28/2012 11:46AM

I think you've already gotten some very good advice here. Everyone involved in this wants for it to work out - you, the managers of the program, the other participants. Even the dogs! There is often anxiety for lots of people about facing the unknown. I love the suggestion of looking at this as a learning opportunity....not a test you pass or fail.
For my last 2 cents....I'd maybe rethink the notion of trying to interact with others as little as possible between now and the training. Maybe getting out and doing things, talking to others, will help you not dwell so much on the upcoming training (which I think might likely increase your anxiety).
Hang in there.....deep breaths!

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4LEEFCLOVER 1/28/2012 11:17AM

    Congratulations on applying for the assistive animal program! That took some courage to do. Try thinking of the training as an experiment, the result not being right or wrong, win or lose. It is a learning opportunity, to learn about yourself, and the dog. The dog may need your support too. Don't forget to breathe! Slow and deep. Good Luck!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAROLJEAN64 1/28/2012 10:35AM

    May I suggest a different avenue for your thoughts? There is a quote by, I believe, Henry Ford. Whether you think you are going to succeed or fail, you are right!

So take a chance on success. Imagine yourself arriving and meeting like -minded people who are anxious about their success and sharing that anxiety dissipates it. The people running the program are wonderful at matching dog and owner. You spend a wonderful time getting to know the animal who will be your best friend.

Imagine success!!

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Face Book Advice needed

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I'm kinda new to the social networking thing (only had a Face Book account since July) and I need some advice. Your comments will determine how I deal with this problem.
I don't have many FB friends (less than 150) and of those, I feel comfortable passively interacting with 30 at most ("liking" and commenting on their posts and statuses, sending private messages, posting on walls etc...). I feel comfortable FB "chatting" with less than 10.
My problem is this. I made the mistake of "friending" someone who had similar interests. (I do not really know her, except through FB. ) Now she insists on "chatting" with me every time that she sees that we are on at the same time, asking personal questions, sometimes interrupting me in the middle of something important. I try to be polite, but sometimes I find myself making up excuses (ie: my phone's ringing, someone's at the door etc...) just to get her off my back. I also now quickly scan to see if she is on when I first get on FB, and if she is, I try to finish quickly so I don't have to interact with her.
Usually, I am on FB on to do something (check what others are posting, read messages, play a game etc...) not chat. I know it is possible to "unfriend" a person, but I know how that feels and I don't want to go that far. Any suggestions?
Thanks for your help.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COLD_GOLD 4/26/2011 5:46PM

    un-friend her... you don't even know her... I only friend people I know, and sounds like she isn't really polite to you.

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ESTEPHENSON2 4/26/2011 2:26PM

    Crazy concept here....just don't respond. :) This person is obviously not someone important in your life so ... why even worry with her?? Delete her or ignore her and move on. Spend time focusing on you!! Not someone who you don't even feel comfortable chatting with.

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MNGIRLIE 4/26/2011 1:52PM

    I have never chatted with anyone on facebook thankfully! I just don't care to. I've always had my chatting feature offline and it saves me a lot of headache. I don't know if you should worry so much about unfriending this person especially if you two aren't close.

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    Make yourself invisible.


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RUNNER12COM 4/26/2011 1:22PM

    Yep, "offline" is your best Facebook friend. :)

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KAMAPERRY 4/26/2011 11:15AM

    I agree, make yourself invisible.

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BETH7CAM 4/26/2011 9:51AM

    Thanks to all, especially LUVS2 WIN67 for telling me exactly how to do it. The few friends I like to chat with usually understand that when I am on FB I am usually there to do multiple things, not just chat. Now when I don't see anyone I want to chat with, I will set myself as "offline." A million thank yous! emoticon

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BRAINREFILL 4/26/2011 9:32AM

    Unfriend the person and/or adjust your FB privacy settings. Should do the latter anyway since FB is capturing everything you do and selling it to advertisers emoticon emoticon

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CASSARM1 4/26/2011 9:07AM

    I always have my instant message ico show me as off line. I can't stand when I get a pop up. This way I get to look around facebook and respond to the post that I want and not the instant message.

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LUVS2WIN67 4/26/2011 9:04AM

    I agree with Firefly. My little niece does the same thing. So when I log on I quickly check who's on (in case I need to speak with someone) then go offline. You do that through the options button at the bottom right hand FB page (where you chat). When you click to view who is online at the top of the pop up it will say options...just click go offline. Only your chat will be off line. You can still do all the other things you normally do.

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EILEENXO 4/26/2011 8:59AM

    Firefly has the right suggestion, prevent her from seeing your online.

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FIREFLY1967 4/26/2011 8:54AM

    is she chatting with you through the facebook chat option? you can go "offline" so she doesnt see you on there... that way you can cruise and look through facebook but she will not see you online and wont be able to chat with you. hope this helps.

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Monday, March 21, 2011

Ok, I admit I haven't been much into "Sparking" lately and I haven't written a blog in awhile. But I could use some help.
My emotions and my weight have always gone hand in hand. I'm one of those people whose appetite fluxuates with my mood. I am actually not hungry when I am depressed. And I have been depressed a lot lately. Plus, I have had health issues recently (with my teeth) that have just made me not feel like eating. Yes, I know that's not healthy. For awhile, I was happy with the results at the scale, but now...uh-oh, the scale's getting dangerously low. Any suggestions? (Please just post suggestions, not criticism. I am depressed enough). emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JRZG8R 3/27/2011 6:52PM

    just saw this post I hope you are doing better now.

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BRAINREFILL 3/23/2011 9:46AM


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BRAINREFILL 3/22/2011 10:21AM

    mix it up, change it up, do something different. gotta snap the monkey brain in the teeth - sorry about the pun. Tony Roberts tapes can train to how to do this - maybe the cd's are at the library? There's also an emotional eaters spark team to preuse too. Just whistle and make yourself smile and laugh. I know it's hard. I find it difficult too. just: emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KAMAPERRY 3/22/2011 12:20AM

    Hugs, we are here for you.

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COLD_GOLD 3/21/2011 10:20PM

    oh! I have suffered from really really horrible depression and it can be so hard just to do the most basic things. I started buying myself pre-made meals from a little place near my house so that I would get at least something balanced. It was a little pricey, but I really couldn't handle dishes and prep and I needed to eat something other than cereal.

Can you take a multi-vitamin? It will get a little bit of something... I know that my cousin sometimes takes an ensure meal replacement drink once a day when he is really sick, just so that he can get some nutrition in him.

I'm really sorry that you are suffering. I have been there too. Have compassion for yourself.

Also, I kept my doctor informed of my problems with eating and kept checking that my weight was okay (I gained a lot)... it helped reassure me that while I was out of the "healthy" range according to the scales, that the doctor thought it was fine and I could ease up on myself and just focus on fixing my depression.

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 3/21/2011 12:06PM

    All I have to offer you is hugs:
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEATHER9360 3/21/2011 11:56AM

    I am sorry you're feeling depressed! I think that is the biggest issue here. What is causing your pain? Can you see a therapist or psychiatrist, or are you already? Do you need medication, or is your current medication not working? Do you need to talk about something...Sparkmail me anytime.

As far as your diet, can you supplement with protein shakes or smoothies? Does anything sound good to you at all?

One thing I know will happen to me if I am deprived of nutrients--I will get sick a lot. That is motivation for me to eat well.

I feel for you and hope you get some relief. I understand the devastating effects of depression. Remember this: it is not your fault. I am here if you ever need to talk.

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Holidays...Challenging? Not Necessarily

Monday, November 22, 2010

So, the holiday season is in full swing. I leave today for my parents' house & Thursday will be my THIRD Thanksgiving dinner. I had one the 18th, one on Saturday, and then will have my last on on Thanksgiving. But I realized that if I treat these as just what they are- Special days- watch portions and eat normally the rest of the time, plus keep up with the exercise, it's not so bad. I even lost this week!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAYLINSTEPHENS 12/16/2010 5:20PM

    Awesome! I can't say that!


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RUBYTOOSHOES 11/22/2010 9:53PM


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KAMAPERRY 11/22/2010 1:55PM

    Awesome advice! emoticon

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NUTRON3 11/22/2010 8:39AM

    Way To Go!!!!

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DWYER1952 11/22/2010 8:29AM


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Social Media Day

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

I was asked to post this in the hopes of starting a discussion. I will also share my answer to the questions.
On October 22, 2010, as part of National Disability Employment Awareness Month, DiscoverAbility NJ wants to raise awareness about the employment of people with disabilities by sponsoring a Social Media Action Day to explore two key questions:1.Why haven't employment numbers improved significantly for people with disabilities in the 20 years since the passage of the ADA? 2. What can we do about it? I have a simple answer to the first question:DISCRIMINATION, which, unfortunately, is a fact of life for me and so many others with disabilities. The answer to the second question is more complicated: What can we do about it? When looking for a job, I have been taught to focus on my ABILITIES rather than my limitation. However, my physical disability is what employers see and (sometimes) what they remember.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAMAPERRY 10/19/2010 2:17PM

    I think this would be an important study. There are ALOT of totally capable, educated people out there who happen to have a disability. It is sad and unjust when that is all employers see. Best of luck to you emoticon

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