Weeding

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Getting on track ....

I've been thinking about that a whole lot over the last week or two.

I've become more active on the site. Yeah!

I'm still a bit overwhelmed with some stuff that I have going on in my life. Some of my procrastination is catching up with me.

Back to getting on track ... what does that mean to me?

It's more than just eating right and getting exercise in.

It's a balance.

I have the 'gift' of letting my life get completely out of balance. If I don't actively pursue balance, it drifts further and further away, until it's a distant memory. I've had it within my grasp so many times ... and then poof ... it's gone. I become lazy and complacent.

I was looking at my garden earlier this week. You know, it's been really hot and humid here for a few weeks. My house sits on a corner lot and it has no fences so my garden is pretty public. I have been keeping those areas that are easy to see from the sidewalks looking pretty good. My neighbors are constantly commenting on about how I keep it looking so nice. What about the parts that aren't easily viewable?



Some of the weeds are so bad that they look like plants that belong there (from a distance).

And here's the thing ...
My internal life is a lot like that ... weedy ... out of balance ... needs attention!

My life looks great to the casual observer. It's a show that I have mastered. Who hasn't?

Getting on track means I need to get back to the basics that make my life work ...

Back to feeling gratitude, and showing it.

Back to saying please and thank-you, and meaning it.

Back to looking for ways so make my DH feel good, instead of taking him for granted.

Back to simplicity.

Back to slowing down and savoring life.

I'm an emotional muncher. I munch when I feel insecure, stressed, over-whelmed. I don't want to exercise when I feel that way. I want to munch! I am a mindless muncher! Even if I'm not munching at the moment, it's what I want when I'm out of balance.

When my emotions are, shall I say , stable ? ... I'm free When I'm calm, my God pod is in better shape with little to no effort on my part.

I can do this the easy way or the hard way ... I want to choose easy. I've been choosing hard my whole life.

Easy is when I'm basically balanced ... everything falls into place. I love exercise when I'm feeling good. I love to eat right when I'm feeling good. I just naturally take better care of all aspects of my life when I'm feeling better. It's not that I don't otherwise, it's just that it's a chore. And I'm not always consistent with 'chores'. I'm the great procrastinator!

So ... what the heck am I rambling about?

I need to do some weeding internally. Weeding isn't always easy. Sometimes weeds become so tangled up in the plant that it's hard to distinguish between the plant and the weed. That's kind of where I'm at. But I'm willing.

I want balance to be restored. And I want to remember why it's important to me so that I can keep it within my grasp.

I see a lot of work in my future ... and a whole lot of possibilities!

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I'm not the most dedicated Sparker but ....

Thursday, July 21, 2011

I originally came to Spark to change my lifestyle after finishing chemo.

I had learned a lot about cancer (and heart disease and diabetes also) and I wanted to make sure I implemented some of what I had learned so that I could hopefully prevent a re-occurrence or cancer and avoid the other two.

Sometimes I feel as though I just keep making the same mistakes over and over. And I do .... ... just less often!

Yesterday I was thinking about all the positive things about me and my life and reflecting on where I'm at in general.

Spark came to mind and I had to admit I've successfully 'implemented' quite a few things over the last couple of years ...

I drink a whole lot of water these days.

I don't drink many soft drinks. I used to drink at least one a day.

I sleep 8 hours a night. I'm finally consistent on when I sleep.

I love to walk. It gives me the alone time I need to contemplate and reflect on my life and this is where I get a lot of meaning.

I eat a whole lot more fruits and vegetables and I've learned a whole lot of ways to prepare them so that I don't get bored.

I still eat my junk food. It's part of my life. The difference is it's not all the time and I choose the best. I'm not looking for the lowest calorie piece of chocolate, I'm looking for the most decadent ... I will drive an hour to get that best piece of pie! Moderation with attitude.

I don't eat the stupid, mindless crap ... know what I mean?

My portions are getting smaller. I'm slow but teachable!

I'm not the food police. I don't evaluate the day based on how I performed, diet wise. Life is good ... why waste it feeling guilty all the time, especially over something as silly as food.

While the scale is not my friend, it is not my enemy either. It's only a tool.

I like measuring tape much more ...

I'm learning to like fish. It used to be I'd only eat tuna or salmon ... now I at least try different fish and new ways to prepare it.

Did I mention that I LOVE mountain biking!

The many other ways I get physical!

Lest I forget ... gardening. Good for so many things.

Spark people are the best!

I'm no Spark star ... but something is working. I'm getting exactly what I wanted. Lifestyle changes! Slowly, but consistently, changes are happening.

I've got a long way to go but it ain't over!

I'm not the fittest I have ever been in my life. My goal is simply to be and stay as fit as I can, for as long as I can.

I'm not the thinnest I have ever been. I'm ok with that.

I'm not the most muscular either. I want more muscle.

I'm 51, and if you squint and the light hits me just the right way, I look pretty good. Not perfect, but good. I want to be the fittest I can be right now, the healthiest I can be and the most content.

Some days I struggle with all of the above ... I hobble out of bed and want a dunkin donut for breakfast. I have days where inflammation is not so good. Inflammation sucks! Other days I glide out of bed and the day runs smoothly. You know what ... BOTH kind of days are good! We can learn something from all of them. I'm old enough to know that some days are just gonna be tough ... some aren't.

Anyway, here's to Spark! You help with reinforcing the good behavior and I'm so thankful! I keep changing in spite of myself!

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Time to pause and reflect

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I spend so much time 'working on myself'.

I'm an expert on my faults. The real ones, not the imagined.

Sometimes it can get tiring to just focus on the flaws.

I'm in a more playful mood today ...

I thought that today, I would focus on my strengths. What I'm getting good at, what I'm good at, what I'm darn good at, and what I'm fantastic at.

I'll contemplate my gifts. You know, those things which I did absolutely nothing to deserve but came with the packaging.

Then the packaging. I have my assets. What makes me, well, me? What is it that I like about me? I have all my parts and they work. There was a time I would have not seen the wonder in that, but now I do.

Then my circumstances. My life is pretty darn good. I have more than enough. I live in a reasonably cool country and in a time when things are basically good.

I'm lucky.

I'm blessed.

I'm thankful.

I did little to nothing to deserve it all.

And I'm going to write it all down and make the longest list because I know me. Tomorrow I may forget.

I'll get back to my goals soon enough. My flaws will be calling out to me to change.

But today, I'm going to pause and reflect on where I am today ...

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There's blessings even in the storm ...

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Last week we had a storm come through that brought much of our area to it's knees. Winds were clocked at 90 mph. Trees ... huge, old trees, were down everywhere.

My neighborhood took a lot ... whatever hit us, came through my neighborhood. Trees were twisted and distorted.

I was in awe. It was devastation but ... no one was hurt. In fact, we lost about 50 huge trees in my small neighborhood alone, and not one fell on a house. How lucky is that?

Here's a couple of pics from next door ...







My house didn't lose a tree but you can see a tree on down on my neighbors fence pointing toward their hose (it looks like a big bush in the pics).

We lost power for a couple days.

The cool thing that happened was this ...

As people came home they started to help each other out. My DH, and another neighbor, cleared a path so that cars could get into the neighborhood. The city wasn't able to help because there were trees down everywhere.

People helped each other haul the fallen limbs and debris to the curbs. Most of the larger trunks will have to wait.

Neighbors sat outside in the evening and talked. Huge groups of neighbors and all the kids. This was so nice. Most of the time we are all too busy and/or in our air-conditioned homes in the evening. The storm slowed us down and made us re-prioritize.

Food was everywhere ... we were told we might not have power for as long as 5 days.

People shared their generators with other neighbors.

We went to bed at a decent hour and got a good night's sleep. Thankfully, hot water was working so we were able to shower.

It was extremely hot and humid and tempers could have flared ... but they didn't.

We were all so thankful that no one was hurt.

Starbucks had power ... yeah!

The experience made me realize how blessed I am to live in this neighborhood. These people are good ... even if they do drive me crazy sometimes!

It also taught me that I don't give these folks enough credit. I want to know them better.

Power was restored after about 24 hours. Earlier than expected!

It's still hot and humid outside. Mosquitoes are alive and well. The yards are pretty well cleaned up, although there are lots of bare spots from what used to be there.

Life is almost back to normal. But I'm still feeling the remnants of the storm ... my neighbors are still bring a smile to my face as I think about them.

Maybe a BBQ is in my near future ... this one for the neighbors!

Life is good!

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I became an optimist again ... yeah!!!!

Friday, July 15, 2011

All I did was add my story to my page and add some pictures. Reflections on life and meaning and gratitude sure do make a difference! I think it's time for me to pull out that daily gratitude journal!

We all have come so far. We all have so much to share. We are all great novels. Maybe it's time we tell our stories.

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