BESSHAILE   48,877
40,000-49,999 SparkPoints
BESSHAILE's Recent Blog Entries

#backontrack challenge - and where did that lust come from?

Sunday, August 04, 2013

Day 4 dawns and so far so good with the tweaks. I've taken the dog for an extra walk every day, I've resisted the double desserts - I've even resisted the temptation to have .... a bite, just a bite ... of Himself's granola. But man - the temptation - the desire - the ... the lust, for goodness sake! For a stupid spoonful of granola in cold milk! Where in the world did that come from? Honestly! I'm standing at the kitchen counter and I've poured the milk and my mouth grows loose and starts to water. I get that eyes-growing-bigger sensation. Crimeney! What is the cause of that?

Because I don't want a whole bowl of the stuff. I want something hefty. I'm hungry. I have hard work to do all day. I'm going to be eating way off the charts at a party dinner later in the day. Where does this intensely physical - lustful - desire come from.

So I just feel all those sensations. I feel the feelings. I absorb the lust and let it flow through my mind. I just feel it and accept it and the it dawns on me - what it is I'm looking for. What I really want is a FREE PASS. A free taste that I can lie about to myself and say "it doesn't count". What I'm looking for is the magic ring, the get out of jail free card, the three wishes. I don't want the granola. I want to be told something I eat doesn't count.

Uh. Nope. I don't think so.

It all counts.

It's okay, mind. I can have whatever I want. I can even have that spoonful of somebody else's granola. But.

Yeah. But.

I have to own that bite. I have to admit that it counts too. Or fix my own durn bowl of the stuff. Just no more pretending that it doesn't count. Cause it all counts.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WEDDWT 8/4/2013 11:15AM

    Your self-discovery and admission helps US to discover self and admit what we are doing in "reality". Definition of pretense: an inadequate or insincere attempt to attain a certain condition or quality; professed rather than real intention or purpose.
I can't honestly say "no more pretending" for me but I can have a greater awareness of what I'm doing when I'm doing it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUSTYNA7 8/4/2013 9:21AM

    Thanks... I needed this today!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NELLJONES 8/4/2013 9:09AM

    Where does any lust come from? If you see a man who strikes you with lust, do you pursue? Of course not. It's happened before, it will happen again, you keep on with your life, go home to what you CAN have and are extremely grateful home is there. Do you really want to need a risk greater than weight gain to walk past lust? Lust and gluttony may be two different deadly sins, but they sure look the same to me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 8/4/2013 8:51AM

    Good for you staying accountable and knowing that no matter what you decide each bite does count. Where do these cravings come from? I am not sure, but I know they hit hard when they come.


Report Inappropriate Comment
LRSILVER 8/4/2013 8:50AM

    Be accountable

Report Inappropriate Comment
AGRAMMIE1 8/4/2013 7:38AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 8/4/2013 7:38AM

    Yes, it all does count. Glad you resisted the temptation. HUGS!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERYLHURT 8/4/2013 7:09AM

  I'm making a cheese sauce today to use up all the little bits of cheese my husband buys but I nibble on each and every evening...I can't have anything but raw in the house or I eat it all!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LEANJEAN6 8/4/2013 7:04AM

    Write what you bite------LOL--It sounds like you are doing well--Keep it up!-Lynda emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Three Tweaks for the #backontrack in August challenge

Friday, August 02, 2013

Three. As in three kisses or three heroic feats or three wishes - three is one of the universal folk magic numbers.

I've been wanting a little challenge lately - something new and different but disciplined - to give me a framework - a structure - as I plow through the busy month that will be August. In fact, I have been wanting to take on a Big Project soon, but right now I'm winding up some previous Big Projects. My little ENFP heart doesn't really like coming to closure, doesn't like the winding up part of Big Projects and is often tempted to abandon the chosen BP right at the finish line so she can have the fresh hopefulness of Starting a Big Project instead. Since this month's BPs are job oriented and I can't abandon them - and I don't really want to - I needed a little challenge and Spark People's #backontrack in August came along just in time.

So - I'm probably not going to subscribe to it on facebook but I did pin it on Pinterest. Mostly I'm just going to update it in my status every day. And I've chosen three tweaks I want to do consistently in August.

1. Stop taking that bite (and sometimes 2) out of my husband's breakfast cereal. I almost never eat breakfast cereal because it doesn't last me till lunch time. I love it - especially the granola he particularly likes. I need something different to get me from breakfast to lunch. More protein most of the time. I always fix breakfast for us both and I always take it on a tray back upstairs where we indulge ourselves with breakfast in bed. I know but it's our little routine. So when I fix his cereal ... I always take "one little bite - that won't hurt, now, will it?"

No more. I stop. If I want to eat granola for breakfast I will, but no more sneaking some of his and pretending it doesn't count.

2. Take Callie the lab puppy for a walk every day that isn't raining. She is developing some bad habits herself - mostly having to do with finding my stuff and chewing it. Not Himself's stuff, you see. Just mine. That tells me she's wanting more attention from me. And I need the extra movement to counteract my sedentary job. The walk doesn't have to be a big deal. I can stroll down the lane in flip flops if I want. But move we shall and bond we shall do also.

3. No More Second Helping Of Dessert After Dinner. Say what? you ask. Yeah. I know. I do. I have healthy dinners and I built in a small 100 calorie bit of ice cream as part of most of my evening meals. and then. Yep. And then. I go get a second helping. and I don't seem to be just doing this now and then - but every single day. It's become a compulsion and I can tell I'm not even enjoying the second helping. so - for 31 days there will be only the single helping of ice cream or dessert but while I have the FIRST helping ... I'm really going to savor it.

There you have it - my 3 tweaks. (so who remembers that show .. My 3 Sons?)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WEDDWT 8/5/2013 12:10AM

    Fred MacMurray's My 3 Sons? The sons - Robbie, Chip(?), and uh, uh....

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 8/3/2013 10:46AM

    Excellent 3 steps. That is great that you joined the August challenge. I am weighing daily and on my own challenge of losing weight in August.


Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 8/2/2013 11:17AM

    I read this article too but decided to not join on FB and just do the best I can.
You are well on your way!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRADMILL2922 8/2/2013 10:35AM

    Tweaks are always necessary! We are never perfect. I love challenges as well so good luck with yours!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JLITT62 8/2/2013 8:12AM

    Those are great tweaks! You already know #1 is one of my problem areas.

I'm blessed with not having to work so daily walks are part of our routine. It's not just physical exercise for the dogs - not so much for me, but I still count it - but it's mental exercise too. And there's usually, but not always, a bit of training in there too. Stay, leave it, that sort of thing.

Good luck!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KELLIEBEAN 8/2/2013 7:58AM

    Excellent. I am in on the challenge as well. I'm not hitting the social media, I'll just blog.

Here we go!

Report Inappropriate Comment

So How Did It Go - That Mindful Cardio?

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Truth? Though this didn't have the controls of a scientific experiment I think I really DID get more out of my cardio by paying attention to my body. I wear a monitor and it showed me that 50-100 more calories were burned yesterday than I expected.

Is it true? did really paying attention to how my thighs, my back, my abs and upper arms felt as I worked my 35 minutes on the elliptical really burn more calories than just flopping my way through? Or did I subconsciously spend more time exercising and moving than I realized.

Let's examine the day. I did get in a 1 mile walk with my funny little white dog. Here she is, checking things out in the bean field.

But that had been planned all along. It's a short walk, worth some 50 calories, but I'd like to add it to my daily routine.

At work I was at my desk only slightly less than usual. I had a program to prepare for and enough staff that I only worked the front desk for 30 minutes. No walk at lunch time since I had a WW meeting - where I was glad to find out that I'm still within my goal range - even after 2 weeks of rather profligate eating. and still below 150 - which was more than satisfying.


Hmm. I sat during the program in the afternoon - though there was a good bit of walking back and forth as I brought paraphernalia into the meeting room. Altogether, if I really want to push things I burned 50 calories more than I would have on a library day with no kiddie program in it. I guess. Pushing it a bit. Maybe.

Okay - then it was off to the gym - 35 minutes on the elliptical. Normally I'd expect to burn 150 +/- calories doing that while watching HGTV (my 5 o'clock TV poison). I use a programable elliptical that has the hand poles for working the upper body. emoticon

I decided to really pay attention to the body and what do you know - I found that to be impossibly boring to do for 35 minutes and MUCH harder too. It's true. I worked harder while I was paying attention. But I just didn't have the mental control to stay at it for 35 minutes. Within the first 5 minutes (maybe even instantly) I realized I had to take baby steps into this mindful body cardio, so I decided that I would concentrate for 2 minutes and then I could buzz off on the television for 8. I set the elliptical so that after 8 minutes it would tell you to start pedaling in the opposite direction. Those were the Pay Attention Minutes. So I did 3 sets of 2 minutes when I paid close attention - abs tucked? glutes taut? back straight? Thighs engaged? Arms pumping? Check.
Ordinarily - at this point I would have racked up about 150 calories burned and to make sure of it I did just a few strength exercises - 3 sets of 10 presses, 3 sets of tri exercises and 3 sets of the rowing lift ... or whatever it's called. 10 minutes in all? Honestly I'd be overestimating if I could claim 50 calories for that.

So at the very best I could claim 300 calories burned for yesterday. But when I plugged the monitor in it showed a 350 burn.

As I said - this was no scientifically controlled experiment but hey - I'll take a 350 calorie burn any day! In fact - I think I'll go take it today. I know my little dog wants me to take her out. I hear her scratching at the door.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LRSILVER 8/1/2013 4:44AM

    Well done

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 7/31/2013 5:39PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CBLENS 7/31/2013 10:23AM

    Well done Bess! & pretty wallpaper.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 7/31/2013 8:14AM

    350 burn is excellent. You are doing a great job of developing mindful exercise.

Cute dog.


Report Inappropriate Comment

Who Is This Body?

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Don't you just love it when a light bulb goes off inside your head? When an idea you never thought of before blossoms right in front of you? When something suddenly becomes clearer?
(of course you do, LOL)

So today while reading The Best of Spark People article 10 Smart Ways to Burn More Calories
Crank Up Your Cardio to Blast More Fat! the light clicked on at number 9.

"9. Focus. We talk a lot about the importance of the mind-body connection and fitness. Although cardio isn't as Zen-like as yoga, cardio can still benefit from a strong sense of awareness. The next time you do cardio, focus on the movements and breathing while squeezing those muscles. By engaging your mind, you can actually better engage your muscles, which allows you to complete the exercise more easily and still burn more calories!"

Wow. See - whenever I'm doing cardio I try to zone out of what's going on. When I'm on that elliptical or stationary bike ... or even when I'm swimming laps - I try to get away from what it feels like because it feels hard. I like to watch television if I'm not in the water, so I can forget about how tired my arms and/or legs are getting. It's a "grit your teeth and plow through it" sort of feeling. I can almost hear myself thinking "I know this is hard but la la la la I can't hear you telling me!"

But by doing this maybe I'm missing out on something. For sure I'm not savoring the experience of those hard working muscles. Maybe I'm not even getting the full benefit of my workout. I know this is true with weight lifting - when I just push with my arms it's hard hard work but when I engage my abs and glutes ... it's still hard but it's different. It's ... it's easier to do it well.

I think it's time to pay attention to my body while I'm doing cardio workouts. It's time to feel those legs and back muscles, to experience what they're actually doing. I'd like to get to know Who Is This Body a little better. After all, I might like her.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LRSILVER 7/31/2013 4:57AM

    Good points.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRADMILL2922 7/30/2013 11:02AM

    Definitely an interesting idea. Something to think about!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHERYL_ANNE 7/30/2013 10:13AM

    The more I engage and practice mindfulness, the better I like the experience.

Really appreciate you sharing the light-bulb moment and letting the light shine upon us!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 7/30/2013 9:18AM

    Food for thought and a great idea! Thanks for sharing. HUGS!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 7/30/2013 8:44AM

    Good idea..I am more like you..I tend to watch the news while exercising. Interesting concept and it just may burn more calories.

Thanks for sharing.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RSSSLHB 7/30/2013 7:39AM

    emoticon emoticon for posting

Report Inappropriate Comment

Wearable Art

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Here I am in my Zentangle T-Shirt

Himself asked me if it was finished - and didn't I want to put 'more stuff' on it. In fact, I don't, but the fun thing about this is that I can always add more if I wanted to. I'm much more likely to put in too much than not enough - in life as well as in art. So I stopped here and gave this shirt a little spin.

I used Sharpie Fabric Pens for most of it and some other dark permanent art pen along the back. It's supposed to be water fast ... but you can be sure, I'll wash it separately the first time.

The picture is from my Other Blog - which I have neglected shamefully this summer.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 7/25/2013 2:08PM

    Just darling!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KANOE10 7/25/2013 12:57PM

    Great shirt and nice design. It is beautiful. Well done.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLIMMERJESSE 7/25/2013 8:48AM

    Wow, lovely!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JLITT62 7/25/2013 7:56AM

    It is beautiful & you wear it well!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TORTISE110 7/25/2013 7:38AM

    Awesome! You look adorable in it. Love the grin!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LRSILVER 7/25/2013 7:01AM

    You are so talented.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SPARKCHANTAL 7/25/2013 6:54AM

    it's beautiful.

and one big rule of art: less is more!

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 Last Page