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So What's the Plan - another Left Brain/Right Brain conversation (long)

Sunday, April 21, 2013

emoticonSo where's the plan? Have you written it yet?

emoticon No

emoticonWhat? You promised. You're always breaking promises to me.

emoticon No I'm not. But I can't make a map of how to get somewhere unless I know where we're going and I can't make that decision all by myself. You have to contribute too. Like – what do you want to do right now?

emoticonI want perfection and freedom and chocolate and cheese

emoticon Right. Let me rephrase it so that you can make a choice. Do you want to continue to lose weight or do you want to stay at your present weight.

emoticonSkinny I want Skinny You can never be too rich or too skinny. I want to look like Patty Hayes.

emoticon Good God. She's been dead for 15 years. And the last time we saw her she was 16 and was tall and skinny and adolsecent. We never could have looked like that and we never will. Our bones are too short.

emoticonOh. Yea. Right. Then ... I don't know what I want.

emoticon Hmm. Okay – what do you want to look like that's NOT Patty Hayes?

emoticonI want to look Hot Hot Hot.

emoticon You already do look Hot Hot Hot and you know it.

emoticonHeh heh heh. Yeah. We looked hot last night, didn't we?

emoticon Quit fishing for compliments and answer my question.

emoticonWell. I want to wear a size medium.

emoticon Come on. You know that one manufacturer's size medium is another manufacturer's size Large and another's size small.

emoticonWell. I want to wear a size 12 or a size 10.

emoticon that's still no answer. What about a size 6 or 2 or 0? What if I took some white-out and turned that size 10 into a size zero?

emoticonNo. No. that's creepy. That's cheating and besides, we're too old to be that skinny. No. size 10 or 12 is good.

emoticon I think you're putting too much emphasis on sizes. Whats' in a number and why is a size different from a weight?

emoticonHmmm. Well, a size is how you look. I don't care how much we weigh so long as those little pretty clothes fit and look good on us.

emoticon Okay – I'll grant you that. But we can't go trying on clothes all the time to see what size we wear. We don't have that much time to monitor this stuff – so pick a weight. Any weight. And that's what we'll work at staying at.

emoticon143 lbs.

emoticon Well. That came fast. Why didn't you say so at first?

emoticonYou didn't ask me.

emoticon Funny girl Why do you want to weigh 143 lbs?

emoticonBecause I think I will feel safe at that weight.

emoticon Oh. Well. That's a sort of a good reason. We can do that. It means losing 6 more pounds, you know. Are you sure you're not just picking this number so you can keep eating less and more restrictedly ... you know .. you're not just chickening out on trying to maintain.

emoticonHmmm. No. I'm not playing a game. I really want to weigh 143. At least. I really want to see what I look like and what it feels like to weigh that right now, at this age and this time.

emoticon Okay – that actually sounds pretty .... sound.

emoticonThere's more! There's a slimness I catch a glimpse of when we're walking past a window or mirror. I've just begun to see it – but it's fleeting. I'd like to see it all the time. And I think it will take being 143 to get there. I want that to be my normal.

emoticon Okay – this is good stuff. So you really want that svelt feeling don't you. And we're not there yet. Sometimes we are but not most of the time.

emoticonYeah yeah. You understand.

emoticon Good enough. How big a hurry are you to get there?

emoticonOh. Hmmm. Pretty big hurry, I think.

emoticon Why?

emoticonWell. Well. I want to wear that red polka dot dress in the attic.

emoticon Ahh. Yes. And it's a summer dress. It needs to be hemmed, you know. Well, to get there we have to continue with the 1500 calories a few more weeks. Maybe 2 months. Are you okay with that?

emoticonHow far away is 2 months?

emoticon 8 weeks is June 17.

emoticonOh. that's a long time away. Can't we do it sooner?

emoticon I don't know. That's going to be up to you and to me. We don't have a lot of parties coming up. Really only one. Maybe 2 if we have company. But that's a lot of weekends home alone with the refrigerator. And it will mean working out pretty seriously.

emoticonWell, I like doing that you know.

emoticon Yes but it will mean getting off the computer at 7 instead of 8.

emoticonyeah. Well. Okay. Let's do it.

emoticon How about we try it just for two days? This week we'll get off the computer on Monday and Tuesday at 7. 'Cause we're going to visit Mama on Wednesday and have to leave at 7:30 anyway. But we can go to the gym on M, T, and W. - Uh Oh! – I just remembered. Graves Mt. Lodge is this week.


emoticon Yeah. That is going to take some planning. We have never yet successfully limited ourselves at GML.

emoticonI knooooow. Whaaaaaa. I don't wanna go.

emoticon Too bad. We have to. But what do you say, instead of saying we'll eat only one bread or only one that or no desert – and then eating them anyway and feeling guilty and lousy, how about if we decide we will pause before every single bite, put down the fork and ask “Are you hungry for more? Is it worth it? Do you really want it?” And if the answer is yes we pick up the fork again. And if the answer is no – we stop eating.

emoticonHmmm. I like that.

emoticon It will take a different sort of discipline but it might be just the difference we need. Let's give it a try anyway.

emoticonOkay. I'll really try.

emoticon Okay – I'm exhausted by all this planning. What do you say we just plan for this week.

emoticonNo No. I want more. More Plans. More safety.

emoticon Geezo Flip.


emoticon Well. Alright. How about this. It's April 21. The next time we weigh in will be on May 7. That's just over 2 weeks. Let's try to weigh 148.6 pounds on the May weigh in. That means the morning scale will have to show something like 145. Let's aim for 1 lb in 2 weeks with 4 meals eaten at Graves Mt. Lodge thrown in. And let's try to earn 35 exercise points both of those weeks. It means curtailing our playtime on the computer but I think we can do it. Besides – we're moving into the prettiest time of the year. May.

emoticonOkay. But you'll come up with another plan for the next 2 weeks afterwards?

emoticon Yes. I will. Each time we weigh in we will come up with a new goal and a new plan. But you have to participate.

emoticonI will.

emoticon And as a reward, when we reach 145 we'll take a day off.

emoticonAnd another at 143?

emoticon Yep. Another at 143. Maybe a 4 day weekend!

emoticonOkay. I like this.

emoticon I like it too.

emoticonLove you

emoticon Love you too.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WATERMELLEN 4/22/2013 5:54PM

    You two really understand each other and are working together!! That red polka dot dress is gonna look AWESOME (and svelte!)

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TINAJANE76 4/22/2013 5:45PM

    Love your inner-dialogue! It's not easy settling into maintenance and deciding exactly exactly where you want to be. I basically see maintenance as a circle that looks something like this: set goals, develop a plan to achieve them, work towards them, reevaluate, repeat. It's a bit like weight loss but with a lot more experimentation, especially once you reach the point where you want to keep things the same. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress with the polka-dotted dress!

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CELIAMINER 4/22/2013 9:25AM

    So love this! Now get off the computer!

Happy Earth Day!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KANOE10 4/22/2013 7:52AM

    Cute positive dialogue. I enjoy your writing. Good luck with the two week plan. You both can do it!

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MSLZZY 4/22/2013 7:36AM

    Loved this conversation! I can only imagine what my LB/RB would have to say. I may have to introduce them to you-then again, maybe not LOL!

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PEZMOM1 4/21/2013 9:32PM

    Awesome conversation.

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After the Meltdown Comes the Calm

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Thank you all for your comments on yesterday's blogpost "Finding HEALTHY At Maintenance - My Right Brain Wild Child Has A Meltdown". You'll be happy to know that even though the RightBrainWildChild suddenly remembered a cocktail party she's going to tonight AND the power went out for 12 hours last night AND the phone is still out (?!?) - she's better today. She can even hold it together till tomorrow so that that lazy LeftBrainSchoolMarm can have a little more time to do her list making.

I learned about Left Brains and Right Brains from Martha Beck - so if you want to learn more too, have a peek at one of her books. Either "THE FOUR DAY WIN" or "THE JOY DIET" covers this, though I think it was the 4 day book that had instructions on how to get the conversation going between the two. Martha Beck had a much greater divide between her two brains - her Left Brain is more of a Nazzi SS officer while her Right Brain seems like something out of a horror movie. Mine were already pretty good friends. They just need to remember to check in with each other. So RBWC has calmed down. Of course, LBSM did take RBWC to the gym and let her play for an hour this morning. Makes a huge difference.


Welcome to brain. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KANOE10 4/21/2013 9:04AM

    Thanks for the info. I have not read those Beck books. Hope you have fun tonight and get your phone and power on .

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LRSILVER 4/20/2013 10:39PM

    Thanks Interesting.

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CELIAMINER 4/20/2013 8:07PM

    Loved the Left-Right blog! Thanks for the info on your muse!

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MSLZZY 4/20/2013 7:45PM

    I really need to check this out but may not want to know who's upstairs lOL!

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DAYHIKER 4/20/2013 2:39PM

    That's interesting...I'm not sure I want my LB and RB communicating though... emoticon

Anonymous... emoticon

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LUNADRAGON 4/20/2013 1:49PM

    Interesting. I need to pick that up and read it. Except my brain can't figure out which side should do it.

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SHEILA1505 4/20/2013 1:47PM

    My LBSM told RBWC it was time for a rest day - stop abusing that upper left arm, go to the nursery, get some plants and have a good day for the soul. Both LB and RB had a good day


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Finding HEALTHY At Maintenance - My Right Brain Wild Child Has A Meltdown

Friday, April 19, 2013

That's right. My Right Brain Wild Child had a meltdown yesterday.Truth be told, she's still having it. After eating 2000 calories more than my OLD recommended daily allotment over 2 days has left me - the all-emotions right brain side of me - feeling really scared and vulnerable. But I'm supposed to be at maintenance right now - only I know I really want to lose a little more. It's so confusing - which is why Left Brain School Marm is writing this. It's the only thing she knows how to do - make lists, get wordy, open the door for WC to express herself. So. Here goes.

LBSM: Hey there honey. How are you?

RBWC: (gasping deep breathing with little whiny sounds)

LBSM: Hey hey. Come here and let me hold you.

RBWC: (crawls into LBSM's lap)

LBSM: So what's got you so upset?

RBWC: I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared

LBSM: What are you scared of?

RBWC: Do you realize I have eaten all my extra points for the week - and there are 5 days left!?! I'm going to weigh 200 lbs by Tuesday at this rate.

LBSM: No you won't. Besides. You've reached your goal. It's time to start thinking about eating a little more

RBWC: No No I will weigh 400 lbs by next month. Everyone will laugh at me behind my back.

LBSM: No they won't. They won't even be looking at you. You know that.

RBWC: Yes Yes they will. I'll be a failure again and have to wear fat lady clothes and go on a diet and I hate this. Are there any more cheetos? I need cheese!

LBSM: I'm sorry. I thought I'd made a list of things we will do now that we're someplace different. Now that we're at maintenance. I see now, that it wasn't specific enough.

RBWC: No you didn't! You let me buy 4 kinds of cheese and cheetos and cake with frosting and Ben&Jerry's ice cream and champagne and left me all day yesterday, with Himself, who eats bazillion more than I do and always wants company.

LBSM: Yes. I did. I thought I'd talked this over with you. It was our 39th wedding anniversary. And even if Himself didn't want to celebrate, what with all the turmoil about the puppy, I thought you understood that one day of celebration was alright.

RBWC: I HATE celebrations.

LBSM: No you don't. We love them and you know it.

RBWC: I HATE not being sure that I can make it through the celebration safelyt - I need a better plan than just buying a little cake and a pint of ice cream. Once I start eating that stuff I'll eat it all. I need permission to throw away any extra.

LBSM: Okay. You now have permission. Does that help?

RBWC: Yeah. It does.

LBSM: What else would help?

RBWC: I need to know for sure how many points (calories) I can earn and how we're going to do it so that we don't gain any weight this week.

LBSM: LOL You funny thing. I'M the one who usually wants to shove lists at YOU!

RBWC: (cuddling closer to LBSM) I love your lists when they make me feel safe. It's only when they make me feel like a prisoner that I hate them.

LBSM: Well, I certainly want you to feel safe. I will make a new - l o n g e r - list.

RBWC: When?

LBSM: This weekend

RBWC: What about today? How will I feel safe today? What will you do today?

LBSM: We'll eat salad with Suzanne. No more than 8 points. 400 calories. and only 7 points, or 350 calories for breakfast. And earn 5 points walking out and about.

RBWC: What about the wine tasting with Lisa? I wanna go to that AND I wanna feel safe.

LBSM: We can do that. Two walks and one hour at the circ. desk and finishing up second checking the weeded books will earn those 5 points and you can have your wine with Lisa. I promise - I'll remind you that we're just 'tasting'. We'll still have 12 points or 600 calories left. dinner can be another super salad. You know we just bought all that great fresh stuff. and besides, the farmer's market is tomorrow. We'll be sure to get cash to go shopping with tomorrow and buy More Good Stuff.

RBWC: OH. hmm. yeah. that sounds good.

LBSM: Does it sound safe? Do you feel safe?

RBWC: Hmmm. Safe enough to get through to Saturday. But don't you forget to make my Real Safety List. the one about how to live at Maintenance and all.

LBSM: i won't. And if I do - I am sure you'll remind me, right?

RBWC: LOL Yeah. I will. With Cheetos!

LBSM: Yeah. I thought so. I love you.

RBWC: I love you too.

So you see - I have a WHOLE LOTTA thinking to do to figure out how to navigate into the steady state of maintenance.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WATERMELLEN 4/20/2013 6:59PM

    Such a cute blog. I'm glad you take such good care of "both" of you!

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DAYHIKER 4/20/2013 2:38PM

    Wonderfully written and very amusing! Happy Anniversary to you both! What a great milestone! emoticon
emoticon Cindy

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NUMD97 4/20/2013 10:33AM

    This is a riot! How did you manage to peek into my fridge this week? It's scary how many of your purchases align with mine.

I remember maintenance. There was no road map for it, because so few people attain it.

Kindly post "roadmap" for the rest of us, even though it will be a while before I get to sit at the adult table with you folks.

Thanks for posting!


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ANNIEONLI 4/20/2013 9:51AM

    Great blog....trial and error is the name of the game. 3 years in maintenance and I STILL have the internal fight on occassion. A little secret: the more you practice, the easier it gets - I promise! Practice makes "perfect" in a way. I also learned that it also take WAY more bad days to really pack on the pounds than just a slip up here and there...or a celebration here and there.... it's when you have a full month of LOTs of celebrations and slip-ups that things can get a wee bit outta control! just went through it, so trust me, I know! LOL The trick is to just get back on the band wagon as soon as you can, so things don't have a chance to get too outta control.

Hang in there....keep the dialogue going!!! Very funny btw! emoticon

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KANOE10 4/20/2013 9:40AM

    That was a great blog..very well written. I can definitely relate to fears of regaining all of my lost weight! You are right about wanting to learn to feel safe when you celebrate or overindulge. I think your school marm will find a way to let that wild child enjoy maintenance and stay on track.

You can do it. emoticon emoticon

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TINAJANE76 4/20/2013 3:19AM

    With just over a year of maintenance under my belt, I'm hardly a pro at it yet. But I can say that it DOES get just a bit easier over time--it just takes practice. Ups and downs are going to happen. We're in this so we can live our lives to the fullest, not so we have to live in a constant state of deprivation! What's important is how we deal with those ups.

Constantly working to keep special days to what they are, ONE DAY, not days or weeks or months, is a good first step. Deciding when you want to give yourself total freedom with food and when the freedom should be controlled is another. I'm personally comfortable with one meal a week where I don't worry about what I'm eating as long as I'm mindful the rest of the week. If a week has more than one special occasion, I either have to bring out my controlled freedom tactics or be prepared for a gain and have a plan for how I can slowly undo it.

Now that I'm on maintenance, slow has generally become the name of the game for me. I realize that there's a big difference between being up four or five pounds versus being back at 260 and that there is absolutely no rush to drop any unwanted weight that creeps up. I'm totally determined not to do anything that will sabotage my maintenance, so any changes I make are very small. If I'm not happy with my weight's upward trend, I'll cut my calories by about 100 a day and try to be more conscious about maximizing my workouts. That's it. No more drastic steps and wild swings for me.

It's normal to feel what you're feeling early on in maintenance--heck, lots of us still struggle with those feelings after we've been maintaining for quite some time. But if you keep working at it, keep experimenting with what works for you and don't allow your right-brain wild child to drive you to poor decisions too often, eventually that sensible left-brain lady will become much for of a force in your life.

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JLITT62 4/19/2013 6:15PM

    Maintenance IS harder, anyone will tell you - but I'd like to fight that battle myself!

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SHEILA1505 4/19/2013 12:59PM

    Can your LBSM come and live with me, Bess? I could do with her - the days when my student doesn't have dinner at home turn into maintenance-trampling nightmares

Hugs xxx

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KENDRACARROLL 4/19/2013 11:27AM

    Great way to put things into perspective!

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DIANNEMT 4/19/2013 11:10AM

    I am starting to think about maintenance--not quite there yet. I'm scared, too!!

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BOOKAPHILE 4/19/2013 11:03AM

    I want a Left Brain School Marm! I totally understand about wanting to feel safe and instead feeling like I'm on the edge of losing it! You made it this far, and you can see it through the maintenance you desire. Lol... listen to your LBSM. She speaks a lot of sense.

Thanks for the comment on my NSV Dr. visit blog. I appreciate the support, too!

Comment edited on: 4/19/2013 11:05:35 AM

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CALLIECURTIS5 4/19/2013 10:44AM

    LOVED your blog! I don`t know if we ever get completely "safe". We are food people wh always celebrate with food. We celebrate EVERYTHING with food.
I have these same anxieties with buffets. I am a closet eater so I can do well infront of others but to pay for a buffet and not take the priviledge of all I want...well,....that is very hard for me. Right now...I don`t do buffets.
Keep up with the self-talk. It can work wonders. emoticon

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CELIAMINER 4/19/2013 8:52AM

    Fabulous blog! I am so with you on the overeating lately, and I'm having those anxiety feelings that wake me up in a panic thinking I've regained all my weight and have nothing to wear. We'll get through this, and WE WILL MAINTAIN!

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MSLZZY 4/19/2013 7:28AM

    So that was what all the chatter was yesterday. I could hear you girls talking all the way over here. Happy anniversary to you and DH. Things will settle down soon so could you keep it quiet? LOL! Have a great day! HUGS!

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TORTISE110 4/19/2013 7:24AM

    Hilarious! You will figure it out, that I know. Happy Anniversary to you and Himself.

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ELRIDDICK 4/19/2013 7:16AM

  Thanks for sharing

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A Bulls-Eye - not a technicalilty

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Yesterday at my Weight Watcher meeting - on their scale, fully clothed, re-hydrated after a stomach bug, I finally hit my target weight.

It's a great victory for me - a long fought one, achieved through persistence and patience more than anything else. I'm glad I've fought this fight. I know that winning this level bumps me up to the next - where I will be exposed to new and different things. But for a little while I'm going to sit back and breath a happy sigh. In these troubling times, it's a small tender comfort to me to be able to feel accomplished and in control somewhere in my life.

Beyond all of the horrific news from Boston - beyond the burden of having to care for our little broken-legged dog in even more restrictive confinement for another month (she's already chewed the covering off her external pin. It's a funnel collar for her now) - beyond the budget season, the responsibilities at work, beyond anything else that litters my stage right now - there is this bright spot where I can say "I did it".

And feel good.

One day, when I feel more together - I will post about what it's like on this other side of the fence.

Open your heart today, to someone who looks like she needs it. She probably does.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERRYMERRY6 4/18/2013 1:30PM


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IMREITE 4/18/2013 1:25AM

    emoticon Congrats! i look forward to reaching my goal.

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DAYHIKER 4/17/2013 11:15AM

    Awesome job Bess!! emoticon just bask in the glory of it for've certainly earned the privilege! emoticon

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POINDEXTRA 4/17/2013 10:12AM

    Terrific! Congratulations!

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GETULLY 4/17/2013 8:59AM

    Fabo! Congratulations! emoticon

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SWEETNEEY 4/17/2013 8:26AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TORTISE110 4/17/2013 8:06AM

    Bess, CONGRATULATIONS! That is wonderful news. I am so happy for you. emoticon

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JLITT62 4/17/2013 7:58AM

    Absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying your accomplishment - in fact, I'd say it's a moral imperative !

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KANOE10 4/17/2013 7:31AM

    Your hard work and determination have paid off. You hit your goal weight!

emoticon emoticon

My cat had to wear that funnel. I felt sorry for him but they get used to it. Hugs to your puppy.

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NANNABLACK 4/17/2013 7:23AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MSLZZY 4/17/2013 7:07AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ELRIDDICK 4/17/2013 6:59AM

  Thanks for sharing

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DMEYER4 4/17/2013 6:55AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon CONRATS ON MEETING YOUR GOAL.KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

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My Rambunctious Little Puppy Teaches Me A Lesson.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Five weeks ago my 7 month old lab pup Callie broke her leg and we have been carefully tending her since then. On Friday she got the pins out of her leg and was still on 2 more weeks of careful watching. On Saturday she started playing in the yard and you guessed it - re-injured that leg. Worst yet - I didn't notice it till we were walking home on Sunday after picking up the paper. The rest of Sunday was pure torture for the two grownups in this house. Monday she went back in for surgery and now has an exterior pin and a prescription for another month of confinement.

A tough 2 days for us. (imagine how hard we had to work to not recriminate all over each other - only partially succeeded)

Callie? she could care less. all she can think of is "Where's The Fun?!?"

And that, my friends is the best lesson I could ever learn. I agonized. I blamed. I ached. I angered. I raged. I wept. I wrung* my hands.

Callie thumped her tail. Callie nuzzled my face. Callie ate a healthy dinner - neither too much nor too little. Callie has a much more enlightened soul. She takes what's good in life and concentrates on that. No obsessing for Callie.

Lord - Please make me more like Callie. Thank you.

*edited to correct my atrocious grammar. LOL I am always flummoxed by spelling.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAYHIKER 4/17/2013 11:18AM

    Hoping Callie will heal quickly and solidly so it doesn't happen again! You're so right about learning from her approach to life! emoticon Labs are just about my favorite dog and sometimes I miss having one on the road! Give her some skritches from me!

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OBIESMOM2 4/16/2013 1:41PM

    emoticon for Callie's full recovery

we acquired an abandoned (or maybe lost?) puppy on Saturday (found him at the park). He was injured & had some emergency surgery to hopefully save his eye.
Does that slow him down?
Does he lay around whining and thinking 'poor me...why did this happen to ME?'
NOPE! He's just as happy as he can be. He's even figured out that he can run with his cone on the floor and scoop up toys and bones.

animals are SO much better than we are

PS - we are trying to find his original family, but we are fine with keeping him.

Comment edited on: 4/16/2013 1:42:38 PM

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CBLENS 4/16/2013 1:24PM

    emoticon emoticon , we can learn from our puppies.

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KO1215 4/16/2013 11:56AM

    Awesome blog!

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KRISKECK 4/16/2013 10:46AM

    First, my sympathies to you! And second, Lord, make me more like Callie too!

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AUGUSTDRAGON 4/16/2013 10:29AM

    Callie is truly blessed with your love.

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RUNNING-LIFE 4/16/2013 9:39AM

    Amen! for that lesson. Your puppy is ADORABLE!! :)

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1HAPPYSPIRIT 4/16/2013 9:26AM

    Oh, the lesson we can learn from our pets and loved ones.......priceless!

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MSLZZY 4/16/2013 9:23AM

    A hard lesson to learn but Callie seems to be taking it in stride. Try not to beat yourself up about it. emoticon

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SCRAPBECCA 4/16/2013 8:55AM


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CELIAMINER 4/16/2013 8:38AM

    What a sweet puppy and a valuable lesson! Thanks for sharing this, especially today, when we're still coming to grips with the tragedy in Boston. Needed something uplifting.

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NELLJONES 4/16/2013 8:20AM

    We and our furry friends stick by each other through thick and thin.

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SHEILA1505 4/16/2013 8:11AM

    So sorry to hear about Callie

Rang - doesn't it look odd because it should've been wrung - isn't that the past tense of wring?


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BECKYSFRIEND 4/16/2013 8:08AM

    she's a beautiful 4 legged baby! emoticon

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