Sunday, March 17, 2013
Have you noticed how many things your mother taught you are worth living by? Like:
If you can't say nuthin' nice, don't say nuthin' at all
Eat your vegetables
All things in moderation
You are the most beautiful wonderful perfect angel baby darling in the whole world?
At least, I hope your mama said those last words to you. Mine said them to me and I said them to my son who always had the grace to laugh and give me a hug and I was careful to never say it around his friends.
But something I read today, in SparkFriend NOMORESTALLING's status
reminded me of how powerful and wonderful the lessons I got from my mother are.
Mama never believed in defeat. She insisted that no mater how dark the cloud there was always that one silver thread in the lining that made it possible for you to see something as a win. If she came to a wall she couldn't get over, under or through, she just changed directions and walked along it till she either found a way around it or a better path altogether. And she expected us to do the same. In fact, if you came weeping to her with a trouble she thought was caused by you giving up - she was as unsympathetic as a statue. Giving Up was just not on the list of available options.
And she didn't just hold us to a standard she didn't keep. She demonstrated it all the time - even though, I know her well enough now to realize that inside she often had doubts, fears and wounds. She just didn't let us see them. She showed us how you could change what you were doing till you felt confident, brave and healed.
Here is an example.
This was the last painting Mama ever did. She was in her early 80's and a tremor was in her hand that made it difficult for her to hold the brush. It was for a juried show that was going to be exhibited in the big downtown financial buildings in her city. About a week or two before the judging the word came back from the banks and law offices and stock brokers that they didn't want any nudes in the exhibit. I've seen some very beautiful, but totally-inappropriate-for- the-banking-industry-type nudes, so I actually have a lot of sympathy for people who were going to have to take their clients down halls that displayed this exhibit, but there was a lot of huffing from the art community.
Mama told me that she knew she was just too old and too tired to paint something new in that short a time so she took origami paper and cut out little bikini pieces and put them on her painting with rubber cement. Then she entered the painting in the show. The local PBS station did a televised tour of the show and when they came to her painting there was a ribbon on it. Mama told me she knew her painting wasn't as good as many of the others in that exhibit but she could tell by the look on commentator's face and the tone of her voice that she got that ribbon for her clever way of getting around the No Nudes dictum.
I have that painting in my living room and I could have taken the bikinis off but I leave them there because whenever I look at that painting I see my mother - and I hear her saying "That's not working? Try something else." and I can see that sometimes, that Other Way is a real winner.
Remember - there is always a way.
Friday, March 15, 2013
Happy Me - I reached a milestone goal this week and now weigh within 2 lbs of my goal weight. I am pleased and proud and thrilled with this achievement. I'm so happy I really have been doing the Happy Dance, all week. You know, that little skip you take when you're walking down the street because you just feel good. The sudden shimmy your body gives when you glance in the mirror and think "Is that ME?" Best of all - now that I'm within 2 lbs of my goal I no longer have to pay to attend WW meetings - which I truly enjoy - and that extra savings can be poured into Other Things, preferably sartorial. Yep. Feels great to be within 2 lbs of my goal weight -
My original goal weight, set in (and achieved) 2003 when I was just 50 years old and stood 5'6" tall.
Now I am 60 years old and 5'5".
Yeah - I've checked. Had the bone density test. Now take calcium daily. So all along this journey I knew that being within 2 lbs of my goal weight was just a stopping place. A very wonderful destination - like staying in Paris for a while when you're on a European tour. But there are other destinations I want to visit and I thought I'd list them here today - along with possible rewards for getting there.
The other destinations on my itinerary are:
Reach goal weight of 150 lbs --- New spring makeup
Reach what I think will be new goal weight of 145 --- new outfit - top to toe
Optional final weight goal of 140 --- Spa Day
25 full pushups and a pull-up --- a 2 day mini-vacation at the beach plus a new beach outfit.
Each month I stay within 2 lbs of goal --- $30 reward in a spree fund
6 months I stay within 2 lbs of goal --- Day off from work for the spree
1 year within 2 lbs of goal --- ???? Something wonderful. LOL
Since I am an inch shorter than I have been my entire adult life - I am not sure what weight I want to be. And since I'm 60 (!!! how did this happen!?!? - oh yeah. 1 day at a time) I don't have the firm skin I had, even at 50. While I want to be fit and slim, I don't want to be saggy. Hence the optional weight goal. I know I would like the proportions I'll have at 145 better than the ones I have at 150 - I'm not sure I will like them at 140. It's a minor detail - but it's something I want to explore.
And now for the giggle-inducing NSV.
I live in a very small town where 50% of the citizens are 'kin'' to my husband. I have lived here almost 40 years and been the County Librarian since 1978. Yeah. I mean - everybody knows me - or at least knows who I am. Wednesday I was at the front desk when a man came in to return a DVD that belonged to a different library system. He looked about 40 and was very talkative. I suspect he had also already begun to imbibe in liquid courage - since the DVD was quite late and he was feeling guilty. I answered his questions about how to get the DVD back to the library that owned it and how bad the fines might be and then he said "Hey. You're cute." and picked up my left hand and said "do you want to have lunch with me?"
To which I answered, somewhat laughingly, that I was flattered by, and deeply appreciated his invitation, but, alas, I was married and though I don't wear a wedding ring, "everybody" knows that there's a MrBess. If you live in a small town - you get to understand what "everybody" means.
But wow. It's been a long time since I've been hit up and I confess, it felt pretty durn good. LOL
Happy Healthy Friday to you!
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Yes. I got within 2 lbs of my goal weight yesterday at the WW meeting and now no longer have to pay to go to meetings. This is a big milestone goal and it only took me 2 years.
This stretch of my weight loss journey took all kinds of help - from my Spark People friends to the Weight Watcher leader and the ease with which I could get to meetings. From the hundreds of snippets of wisdom I gleaned from blog posts to the good advice from my doctor. I needed every single piece of this puzzle to get me here - and this wonderful blissful place is only a stopping point on my journey to good health. But what a stopping place it is. It's one I plan to celebrate with a reward.
I usually have a terrible time with rewards. I put off getting one. I even put off deciding what a reward ought to be. Worst yet! I almost never really savor and feel the .... the reward-ness of the reward. I just buy it or do it and move on. Not this time.
This time I plan to totally experience the sensation of giving myself praise for doing a difficult thing. I will write about it in my journal. I may even blog about it again. But by golly - this reward is going to be the seal on the box of accomplishments that a weight loss journey is.
The original reward planned was New Shoes, since baby puppy (with the broken leg) Callie, seen below being pampered by Mama, chewed my favorite work pumps when she was just a few months old.
These shoes are the only thing she chewed up and she didn't do much damage to them - but I couldn't wear them to work. Then a shoe repair shop opened up in town and I could get them fixed! I'm wearing them in that picture. (another cause for doing the happy dance)
So now, the reward will be to buy new spring perfume. Lily of the Valley. I'm visiting my mother in the city on Monday and will have time to browse the Big City Stores so I am going to hold off ordering my reward till after then. There's a Sax 5th Ave. in the city and they sell Penhaligon - It would be nice to smell before I buy, but it's not necessary. I'm happy enough with Caswell and Massey, at about 1/4 the price. But I am absolutely getting this reward.
So. Today is a wonderful day. I have my puppy home, it's no longer raining, I have a great reward to look forward to and best of all - today is Wednesday and Wednesday means Story Hour! woo woo!
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