BESSHAILE   48,833
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BESSHAILE's Recent Blog Entries

Look Who's Doing the Happy Dance!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Yes. I got within 2 lbs of my goal weight yesterday at the WW meeting and now no longer have to pay to go to meetings. This is a big milestone goal and it only took me 2 years.

This stretch of my weight loss journey took all kinds of help - from my Spark People friends to the Weight Watcher leader and the ease with which I could get to meetings. From the hundreds of snippets of wisdom I gleaned from blog posts to the good advice from my doctor. I needed every single piece of this puzzle to get me here - and this wonderful blissful place is only a stopping point on my journey to good health. But what a stopping place it is. It's one I plan to celebrate with a reward.

I usually have a terrible time with rewards. I put off getting one. I even put off deciding what a reward ought to be. Worst yet! I almost never really savor and feel the .... the reward-ness of the reward. I just buy it or do it and move on. Not this time.

This time I plan to totally experience the sensation of giving myself praise for doing a difficult thing. I will write about it in my journal. I may even blog about it again. But by golly - this reward is going to be the seal on the box of accomplishments that a weight loss journey is.

The original reward planned was New Shoes, since baby puppy (with the broken leg) Callie, seen below being pampered by Mama, chewed my favorite work pumps when she was just a few months old.

These shoes are the only thing she chewed up and she didn't do much damage to them - but I couldn't wear them to work. Then a shoe repair shop opened up in town and I could get them fixed! I'm wearing them in that picture. (another cause for doing the happy dance)

So now, the reward will be to buy new spring perfume. Lily of the Valley. I'm visiting my mother in the city on Monday and will have time to browse the Big City Stores so I am going to hold off ordering my reward till after then. There's a Sax 5th Ave. in the city and they sell Penhaligon - It would be nice to smell before I buy, but it's not necessary. I'm happy enough with Caswell and Massey, at about 1/4 the price. But I am absolutely getting this reward.

So. Today is a wonderful day. I have my puppy home, it's no longer raining, I have a great reward to look forward to and best of all - today is Wednesday and Wednesday means Story Hour! woo woo!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KANSASROSE67 3/13/2013 5:57PM

    So happy for you!!! And I'll bet it will be the best storytime ever because your happiness will rub off on the kids!

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FORBANDE 3/13/2013 9:21AM

    YOU ARE AMAZING!!! I'm so happy for you!!

I'm dancing right along beside you!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BESSHAILE 3/13/2013 9:08AM

    Love you all SO much!

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SHEILA1505 3/13/2013 8:34AM

    Well done, Bess!

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JLITT62 3/13/2013 8:04AM

    You look FANTASTIC!

Congrats on a job well done.

Poor Callie looks so sad.

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MSLZZY 3/13/2013 8:00AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Holding It Together When A Blow Falls

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

On Sunday my little 7 month old puppy leapt out of the back of the truck while it was moving. Slowly, because the truck doesn't go very fast and we weren't going very far - but fast enough. Normally we don't let her ride in the truck bed just because she's so impulsive but this day we did. "It's just a mile. We're only doing 20 mph" we thought. More fool us. She landed badly and broke her femur. We managed to get her to the veterinarian (who came in on a Sunday afternoon) without disintegrating into a guilt fueled quarrel but it took a lot of compassion and a lot of locked lips to do that.

Anxiously waiting all evening and well into Monday afternoon without eating every chocolate carb in sight - or on the store shelves - took a herculean effort but I did it. I allowed myself some leeway - so long as I didn't go over my weekly calorie/points allotment and so long as I had nutrition from every food category - I allowed myself some extra endorphin producing carbs. I did eat a commercial protein bar yesterday - 5 points - about 250 calories - when the chocolate craving was at its height. There was a little mindless eating - but it was pre-figured, pre-counted, mindless eating - not a binge.

Also - I kept up with my exercise - not necessarily an effort because exercise always makes me feel better and boy did I need things to make me feel better. Also - I just plain like to move.

And today is weigh-in and I'm pretty durn sure I'll make at least one of my goals - that of not having to pay for WW meetings - and I might actually hit my WW goal weight. If I don't hit it this week, I will next week. There's very little difference between the two - 152 and 150 lbs. But I have shrunk an inch in the past 10 years so even at goal I am a little heavier than I want to be. I have another weight goal which I will strive for after these two and after that the goals will be maintenance and fitness goals.

And on Monday I am going to TheCity by myself - when I plan to buy at least one reward. Originally I intended to buy new shoes because my best pumps were slightly damaged by a baby puppy last fall - but a wonderful shoe repair man opened up shop after Christmas and he fixed those shoes and now I don't need new ones! So there will be retail rewarding on Monday.


I have a lot to be grateful for:

A compassionate veterinarian
A loving house with dogs
A tenderhearted husband
All My Friends at Spark People

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHEILA1505 3/12/2013 1:52PM

    Well done
Glad there's good news
big hugs

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KAB7801 3/12/2013 12:06PM

    Good job in a stressful situation! It's hard, keep it up!

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JLITT62 3/12/2013 10:36AM

    Big hugs! Oy! At least they bounce back quickly at that age . . . Chester had knee surgery at 9 months.

I think you handled the whole situation amazingly well!

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MSLZZY 3/12/2013 9:19AM

    Hope the puppy is okay and you do need time for yourself. A break and a reward couldn't come at a better time.

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YMWONG22 3/12/2013 8:15AM

  Sorry to hear about your puppy. Hope it is better now.

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CBLENS 3/12/2013 7:41AM

    Accidents happen, you did great not using your stress as an excuse to eat all the chocolates & carbs. I like the Fiber One Coconut almond chewy bar. it's only 140 calories & has 6 protein & 5 fiber. It's so good you feel like you are having a candy bar. I use them as a snack, not a meal replacement.

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I Get By With A Lotta Help From My Friends

Sunday, March 10, 2013

That's you - Spark Friends. And it took every ounce of friendship I could scrounge because yesterday came mighty close to a bust.

Dragged to the city for what was supposed to be a few hours of shopping - I ended up stuck there with no lunch. As the clock ticked way past noon I managed to grab some granola bars - which I enjoy as a snack but am always dissatisfied with if I try to use them as meal substitute. Too many calories and not enough of feeling full. In fact - I can NEVER substitute a granola bar for a meal. I always eat the meal too - as soon as I can. Eventually, and in a bad enough mood (due to Someone's carelessness and self-delusions) that I really only wanted to go home, I hauled Someone to Panera's - which I hoped would have something light and filling, but I swear - they haven't got a thing to eat that isn't half a day's worth of calories. I mean - when half a greek salad without any meat comes in at 7 WW points - something is seriously wrong.

We did accomplish the shopping toal without disintegrating into an argument ... mostly because I am kind emoticon - but I'd eaten my entire day's calories by the time I got home at 4:30. Not a happy way to face a Saturday evening - and definitely enough to break my streak. And knowing I was going to have to fess up to my SparkFriends and admit the streak was over really felt bad. The accountability aspect of making a claim that other people will read is so powerful. Not that I'm doing this "for" you - but that my pride is involved enough to want to be the person I say I am.

So how did I save the day.

First - even at the height of frustration I stayed well watered. And I maintained my Lenten ban of diet sodas. I only drank water.

Next - once home I tracked every thing I'd eaten all day long - including the 7 cookies from that snack pack I picked up when it looked like I wasn't going to get any lunch.

I took a beautiful 2 mile hike through the woods as the sun sank into it's golden bed of springtime light. (spiritual healing plus exercise)

Then I took stock of my tummy and realized that I was not hungry for a meal - but there were a few nutrients I needed. I had a nice big apple.

A little later in the evening I had some more fruit.

I got to bed at a decent hour and slept blissfully through the night.

So. As per my decision a few days ago to claim a healthy day when the majority of my choices were healthy ... and when I stay within my caloric range and get some exercise ... Yesterday still counts.

I did eat junk food in frustration.
I did eat a calorie blown lunch

I drank plenty of water
I got in 2 walks - a little over 4 miles altogether
I did not eat a meal just because it was meal time but ate only the nutrition my body hungered for
I did track in the middle of the day before things got out of control - and acknowledged what was going on before I let the day fall apart.

4 pluses
2 minuses
a healthy day

Not bad. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLACHETKA103145 3/10/2013 9:56AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MSLZZY 3/10/2013 9:33AM

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heART Health

Saturday, March 09, 2013

Sometimes you need to feed your soul more than your body - or perhaps I should say - in addition to your body. I've been working very hard all winter - which used to be the quiet time at the library - the time when we did inventory, wrote up plans for the summer crush, maybe even goofed off a little. That hasn't been the case in a long time (because I've been here an even longer time). In addition to schmoozing with the state politicians, dealing with the budget, making it through the audit and holding the quarterly board meeting there are just plain lots more people using the library and this past week we had a book&author event. Whew.

Ordinarily I would have taken off the day after the B&A but that was Wednesday and Wednesday means story hour - AND I'd remembered, at last, to bring the crayon scented perfume for the kids.

why yes. Of course. Didn't you know there is a crayon perfume? And a freshly turned garden one and even a perfume for zombies!

Check out this website.

But back to MEMEMEMEME emoticon

I new I needed a recuperative day and had scheduled one. I invited a girlfriend to bring her pens and paints and come visit for a day of art and talk. Rita is quiet and shy - nothing like big mouth me, but we really appreciate each other. And we both long to be better artists. She is the gf who drew every day in August with me and exchanged her sketches with me via email.

Of course - we also had to catch up on library gossip. She is a retired librarian so she's been a little out of the loop and there have been a lot of changes in the area libraries - with people coming and going. All of my colleagues are retiring and I will be the last of them. When I go ... which won't be till 2018 - I think I will be the longest serving library director in Virginia - not in all time, but at that time. Sheesh!

But we won't talk about that. It's off in the future. What we will talk about is yesterday - which was a blissfully sweet day for recharging my mojo. AND of course I made good eating healthy choices and we got in a walk through the forest ... where I suddenly realized why I'm so fixated on drawing and writing about pixies and fairies - I mean can't you just SEE a sylvan sprite ducking down this path?

So here is a Spring Fairy drawing to cheer you on this weekend.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 3/9/2013 7:51AM

    Sounds like you are always busy and this winter,
more than ever. Kovely drawing. Can't wait to see more!

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FORBANDE 3/9/2013 7:36AM

    What an awesome way to recharge! You are so right. These days may just be more important than the healthy eating and exercise moments. If our minds and soul are good, it definitely makes the rest so much easier.

Beautiful drawing!!!

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Choices and Habits - we need them both to be healthy

Friday, March 08, 2013

It's been 2 weeks since I decided to follow fellow Sparker Pixi-licious' example

and start a spark streak of living each day as healthily as I possibly can. Two weeks. 2/3's of that magical, habit forming, 21 days.

This has been a wonderful 2 weeks and I'm looking forward to a time when the conscious choice of a healthy day has become a habit. Right now it's still VERY deliberate but it's still interesting and fun. Because I'm really emphasizing healthy over "good" or even "good for you", this little commitment is influencing me to make different choices - to even give up old habits that aren't actually bad habits but perhaps, not the choice for today. It's pushing me to write definitions about what is healthy. Not just what won't hurt me, but what is positively actively forward moving healthy.

That's why I asked, the other day, for some feedback about the Sunday cookie cooking day. I was so glad to get different viewpoints. I knew the day was "not bad for me" in the numerical sense of exceeding a caloric max for the week. I've built in wiggle room for days like Sunday. But it was good to read JLITT62's

thoughts on choice vs habit. It really helped me come up with a way to measure - for myself - what I consider a healthy day. On a day when I make more healthy choices than UNhealthy ones - it's a healthy day.

This discussion of what is healthy vs what is UNhealthy and it's companion discussion - what is UNhealthy vs what is just NotParticularly healthy - are all helping me get where I want to be - which is ... to be as healthy as I can - to age gracefully - to live fully.

Oh yes.

And to reach my ideal weight.

And my little victory yesterday was to CHOOSE between a tamale and ice cream. Either of them fit within my calorie (points) limit - but not both. I always have a small bit of ice cream at the end of the day. It makes me feel like the eating for the day is over. But that's just a habit I have. It isn't mandatory. I really wanted the heartiness of corn meal (we make our own tamales) and not the sweetness of the ice cream. (my favorite in all the whole wide world sweet)

I made the choice and rejoiced with it. Now THAT'S living a healthy life! emoticon

Hope your day is healthy too.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOTUSBURGER 3/8/2013 2:12PM

    emoticon Fantastic! What a GREAT job you are doing!
PIXI is a great motivator! emoticon

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JLITT62 3/8/2013 7:55AM

    "I made the choice and rejoiced with it. Now THAT'S living a healthy life"


ny, my WW leader is
Ike you - ends her day with ice cream. I only want ice cream whenit's warm out!

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