BESSHAILE   45,022
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BESSHAILE's Recent Blog Entries

Actual Reward and a NSV

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

I bought my reward shoes yesterday. I didn't get the absolutely funky cute ones I found on Zapos because they didn't come in a size 9.5 wide. They had some nice shoes in that size but I figured if I couldn't get the confetti colored shoes I might as well check out our local stores first and see what they had. They actually had some mighty cute confetti colored shoes but not in my size. And then - my narrow heel/wide toe foot really complains if the last doesn't center the arch support just so. Usually I have to try on dozens of pairs of shoes but these Nikes fit absolutely perfectly - they're as light as a feather - even Callie thinks they're cute shoes and aren't we going out for a walk soon?

We are, but not in the new shoes. Whenever I get new workout shoes I try hard to wear them only at the gym. Eventually a day will come when they're the only dry shoes or the only ones i can find or some other only-ness and I wear them outside the gym - but not when they're still New Shoes.

And speaking of walks - I did decide to add a walk to my morning - just a little 15 minute thing with the dogs - and it starts my day off in the sweetest way. It also pushes my active link counter into the end zone where I want it to end up every day.

Now for the non-scale victory.

I am from the fat line of my Dad's family. I always hated to have my photograph taken at family gatherings because everybody else was so slim. I would always stand at the back or pull some child in front of me so that my bigness wouldn't show. This side of my family tree scattered after my grandmother died 35+ years ago and I lost touch with a big chunk of them. Last week at a family funeral we somehow managed to gather together and for the very first time ever I never gave it a thought when photographs were being taken. I just stood there smack dab in the center and let the camera snap away. I even handed my camera to someone to make my copies of this gathering.

And while I know that some of my ease was because I'm older. Some of it was because there are way more important things in life than how big my tummy is. But a substantial portion of my ease and poise had to do with knowing I'm looking fit and healthy. In fact - I stood front and center and never gave my tummy a thought.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLITT62 2/27/2013 11:23AM

    There is just nothing better than those NSVs!

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DAYHIKER 2/27/2013 9:11AM

    Love the picture! You look wonderful! The shoes are cute too! I'm also hard to fit and when I find a pair of shoes that work for me I am very sparing of them for a good while!! I had to cough up for Brooks last time and that hurt.
emoticon Cindy

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DAVIS_6311 2/27/2013 9:10AM


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SHEILA1505 2/27/2013 8:33AM

    Lovely, Bess!

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DMEYER4 2/27/2013 7:09AM

  love the shoes. You look really great and you deserve to be front and center. Great job. keep up the good work.

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Reward Time

Monday, February 25, 2013

I was caught at a goal today without a reward lined up. I've been using my Activelink activity monitor I bought from Weight Watchers. It's a little slab of plastic I can clip to my bra strap when I get up. The next day I plug it into the USB port in the back of my computer and it syncs all my activity with my WW trackers. It seamlessly translates it all into WW points which is my preferred method of calorie counting.

When I plugged it in this morning I got a page that said Congratulations you've reached your goal. That goal was to get 5 "activity points" per day and unknown to me, I hit it. In my case, I reached the goal because I had racked up some big "points" early on. I have not really been able to achieve 5 activity points - which is probably 75 minutes of exercise - every day. But wearing this monitor has helped me get up out of my chair and get moving. Since this is the activity first monitor I've ever had that actually worked for 12 weeks I am going to stick with it but if you're not a Weight Watcher member and you want to try something like this here's an article from the NYT about them.

anyway - I've reached a 12 week goal of being More Active and I'm going to spend another few weeks solidifying my gains - trying to make those 5 points every day feel normal. But I think I need a reward for this and it's going to be New Shoes.

I need 2 pair of new shoes - a pair of low heeled office pumps and a pair of good gym shoes. I'll check the bank balance today and if there's enough I'll get both. If not - it's workout shoes that I need the most - and I'm thinking I'd like these:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRADIA 2/25/2013 10:55AM

    Congratulations on reaching your activity goals

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BESSHAILE 2/25/2013 9:11AM

    Thanks Cherylhurt. And LOL Cindy - I wear a 9.5 wide, though which these do not come in. :( only medium. So I'll have to look for something else. emoticon

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DAYHIKER 2/25/2013 9:00AM

    emoticon emoticon Good job on achieving your Activity Goal!!!!

Now those are some snazzy gym shoes!!!! emoticon (You obviously do NOT wear a size 11 as I do!! emoticon emoticon )


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CHERYLHURT 2/25/2013 7:54AM


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Starting a new streak - and grateful for it too

Saturday, February 23, 2013

That's right - I had a 6 day streak of making healthy choices but yesterday I stubbed my toe on the course and made unhealthy choices - and, in fact, never even thought about the options I had when I was making them. I'm laughing right now, thinking about it because I do believe even the universe was trying to steer me away from my bad choices and I just never thought about it and plowed ahead down that dead end path.

Here's what happened.

It was a raw cold rainy day. I forgot to/failed to take the time to pack a lunch. I've found that I can always stay within any dietary guidelines if I pack my own food but, even though it takes some serious thought, I can also dine out at lunchtime on healthy food. I just have to consider the healthy options available before I choose. Yesterday, I didn't. I was looking for comfort food to counter the bleakness of the day. At some level I knew I should look for the healthiest option but instead I chose the corned beef and swiss cheese and french fries - because they were cheap and sounded cozily hot.

Instead the sandwich came lukewarm and the fries were cold. That was the universe telling me the chicken noodle soup was a better option. I complained to the waitress ... and asked for new hot fries instead of changing my order. Worse yet - by that time I wasn't thinking healthy at all any more.

And the price I paid for not choosing healthy was ...

Those hot fries were not all that good. (This restaurant usually is known for its very good fries - I don't think I'll expect that next time). And after the meal, when I felt bloated and swollen, I continued making the comfort / least effort choices. I never crave sweets at lunchtime but after this lunch I did - and bought chocolate at the counter as I paid my bill. Could it be that one fat laden bite truly leads to another - or is it like Newton's 1st law of motion: a body in motion, at a constant velocity, down into the pit of greasy sugary food, will remain in motion in a straight line unless acted upon by an outside force? Even my energy choices collapsed into sloth! I could have walked back to work - and felt better for it - but I never thought about that either. Instead I felt sluggish and draggy all the rest of the day. It interfered with my enjoyment of dinner in the evening which (you guessed it) I did eat.

So there you have it - one mindless choice lead to another till I really can't claim yesterday as one of healthy living. I realize that I didn't go on a binge. I didn't even wreck my weekly calorie totals, though I did throw my precious calories away on cold greasy unrewarding french fries so I have fewer now to spend on delicious healthy foods. The sad thing is that I didn't give myself a chance. I took the easy path of least resistance and ended up with a worthless food day.

But I also recognize that I did. And it was a single day. And though I must start my streak anew - hey! I also get to start my streak anew. So today is day one of my healthy choices streak. It's another raw rainy day but I'm forewarned now. I can make different choices today.

And so can you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WEDDWT 2/23/2013 7:06PM

    Comfort food to counter the bleakness of the day - you too?!

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One Healthy Day at a Time

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Oh my - 2013 is one tenth over and I'm just barely formulating my plans for it. It's not that I've been idle. It's just that it's hard to put into words exactly what I think I need to do. But I'll try.

First I must give some special credit to a wonderful SparkBlogger, Pixi-Licious

who's posts have struck such a chord of sympathetic resonance in me that I am forming my plan around her vision. She has chosen to focus all her efforts on living one healthy day at a time and that's just what I want to do too.

I know we're all supposed to be doing this. I know that being "on a diet" is a trap that can only get you so far before it turns and snaps shut on you. I know that my lifestyle has to be a healthy one. But the truth is, getting to healthy includes both subtraction and addition. I confess that my efforts are mostly of the subtraction persuasion. I take away the donuts from my life. I take away the french fries. I subtract the Cheetos from my day. And I'm okay with that. That's what I have to do to get to the healthy weight I want to get to.

But if I spend the rest of this journey focusing only on what I have to take away - I think when I get to my goal I'll very quickly add them all back and very quickly add those lbs back as well. I want to concentrate more on the addition aspect so that when I'm at goal I'll have all sorts of wonderful things that I'm already adding that are as much fun as I used to think those donuts, french fries and Cheetos were. This way I won't turn into a sucking vortex drawing back inside all the things that are UNhealthy for me.

So. What's the plan?

I plan to continue doing all the good things I'm already doing - tracking, water, exercise, meditation, educating myself .... but I want to do them all under the umbrella of One Healthy Day at a Time. Each morning, as part of my wake up routine, I will remind myself that for this one day I will choose healthy things. At each meal I'll ask myself the same thing - as if it were a part of saying grace. And as the day goes on, if I can convince myself that I need Cheetos - if my spirit, mind, psyche, even if my body really needs Cheetos - well - then I will have some. I'll track them. I'll own them. I'll savor them. I will really HAVE THOSE CHEETOS (or blueberry donut).

And then I won't have any more.

I'm not trying to live like an ascetic. I just want to live like a really healthy person - healthy in every aspect. A healthy person knows the difference between a snack - which is nutrition - and a treat - which is like a birthday. Birthdays are only once a year. Even a fairly big family is going to celebrate only a few of these every year. That's the way my treats are going to be. Rare enough to really feel fabulous.

I actually began doing this on Saturday the 16th so I am starting day 5 of my streak and from now on I'll put that in my status report till I figure out how to put it in the Spark Streak section.

So Happy Healthy Living One Day At A Time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLITT62 2/21/2013 8:10AM

    I try to live my life that way but your blog is a great reminder!

I had a craving yesterday & even tho I didn't have the points for it I decided I would have what I wanted without eating around it (and probably eating more). And it actually worked! Who'd have thunk?

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FORBANDE 2/20/2013 8:14PM

    What a great idea and approach! Congratulations on your streak!!

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DLDROST 2/20/2013 8:05AM


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There is no magic elixir

Saturday, February 16, 2013

So - when you were a kid did you pretend you were a magician and stir up a magic potent. Did you wish you had a homework drink that would give you speedy homework finishing powers? How about one to make you smart enough to make straight As? Did you dream about the elixir that would make you beautiful? strong? rich? fast? Something that would turn you invisible or let you fly? That would bring your dolls to life or activate your G I Joe or Masters of the Universe action figures?

I was prompted to remember those days and those longings after reading today's dailySpark blog on energy drinks.

Those things really creep me out. Fear not - this won't turn into a rant, mostly because rants stem from a failure to control other people while I believe we all have free will and don't get much out of letting others tell us what to do. Nevertheless, energy drinks really make my flesh crawl.

Yes. I am a black pot commenting on a kettle's ebony hue. I do drink coffee. Cookies pass my lips at an alarming rate. I can quickly fall victim to the siren song of the Cheeto bag.

It's just that I don't expect coffee, cookies or Cheetos to make me feel stronger, healthier, more powerful - to give me 'quick' energy. I might foolishly want them to comfort me, to make me feel like the booboo is all fixed - even to indulge some urge to disobey, to break some constraining rule - to resist a truth that I don't like. But junk food and junk drinks are always going to be just that - junk - and to paraphrase the old computer data adage - junk in, junk out.

Fortunately, the packaging in those energy drinks also offends me, creeps me out, turns me off. The black and silver and red zig zags streaking across the back view of some model's biceps; the red and yellow star bursts - these colors and shapes have a hostile look (to me) that are enough to keep me from even walking down those display aisles, much less picking up the product. Even the energy bars and protein bars are packaged that way and if I decide to buy one I have to make myself pick it up and read its label. Usually I put it back, too and hunt around for a banana.

That packaging is supposed to make the consumer feel like she has aggressive power - that she can beat the other, win the contest and yes, resist constraints. Mostly, though, it makes me feel like it's encouraging a world of bullies and victims. It's the food equivalent of those old 90 pound weakling ads for weight lifting programs that used to be in the back of comic books.

I am SO grateful that I've come to the point in life where if I want energy I think Dark Leafy Greens and if I want stamina I think Protein.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSEWCI 2/17/2013 6:08PM

    Atta girl!!! I'm right there w/ya! emoticon

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FORBANDE 2/17/2013 2:24PM

    Awesome blog! It's frightening how our society is about quick and easy. I get a similar creeped out feeling when I see a commercial for 5 hour energy. That stuff just scares me.

I've yet to come across a fruit or vegetable that frightens me. :)

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WEDDWT 2/16/2013 1:59PM case you are wondering about the first 2 ways - they are fight and flight:
Fight is meeting violence with violence and flight is fleeing, to flee is to yield to violence.
Food for thought :)

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WEDDWT 2/16/2013 1:50PM

    I am thankful too, that the "lo-energy"cues I get from my body results in reaching for healthy options. Perhaps feeling tired and weak, in the minds of some, make them feel power-less and the energy drinks promote power-full, so the appeal is there. A quick fix. (Except when you end up in the emergency room later with a racing heart - very time consuming...)
This reminds me of Parker Palmer's 3rd way. The third way is a commitment to act in every situation in ways that honor the soul. In this case, honor the body.
The 3rd way is the way of non-violence. There are so many ways to practice non-violence and dark leafy greens is just one of 'em!
I honored my body with ten fresh blackberries in my oatmeal this morning. I can feel the simplicity and peace in that!

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