Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Well - Tuesday's are my WW weigh in days and last week I was bound and determined to stick with the program, within the points/calorie/healthy food limits and see a brilliant drop in poundage.
I did not, though.
Mind now - I thought I had eaten well, carefully, thoughtfully. But I had not. I have a home scale that weighs pretty much exactly what the WW scale tells me and for as long as I have lived I've stepped on the scale first thing in the morning. So yesterday's "official" weight gain was no surprise but digging around trying to figure out where it came from was enlightening.
You see, on Friday, after a really really long and productive week I took home chinese take-out. steamed vegeies and shrimp with some sauce - ostensibly for me, and for Himself - foo young and fried rice - which is what he asked for. I helped myself to a very measured 1/2 cup of fried rice and 1/2 of a ... what do you call them? a young? a foo? those egg omlettey things?
But then on Saturday, a cold rainy wet Saturday that included a funeral - (where no, I did not nibble no the brownies/cakes/tartlette offerings) Himself asked if I couldn't please make him a pizza... A nice homemade pizza with, again, measured cheese etc.
But the combination of those two high sodium, high wheat gluten, more than the usual dairy fat foods puffed me up like a blowfish. Sunday morning I was weighing in at 166 or so and it was a shocker! And it took 3.5 days for the weight to drop back to something familiar.
Lesson learned? We do not eat even small amounts of Chinese food in the same week we eat a pizza - even if it is homemade. I know I have to be careful with the bread products - not do without - but eat them in limited quantities. And these party type foods have to be carefully controlled too. I just don't have the teenage metabolism to burn them off and I have to accept it.
Ahh well. No $50 play money for me this week - but there is always next week!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
It's time to make a plan. I've been diddling around with this weight loss stuff for long enough. I won't say "too long". Time is what it is. I'm not into regrets. This is a forward moving project - even when it's stalled.
So. First off - let's see where I am Officially - today - 163 lbs.
And where do I want to be? Officially - 150 lbs.
That's 13 lbs to loose. And while I'd really REALLY like to be there by Thanksgiving, to do that I'd need to loose more than 1 lb a week and I am not sure I can do that. There are lots of celebratory days coming up this fall.... heck. There are lots of celebratory days throughout the year. So
The Goal is to loose 13 lbs by the week before Christmas. That means just under 1 lb a week.
How am I going to get there?
First off - I'm using the new Weight Watcher program. I lost substantial weight on their original 'Points" plan but after a while I learned to sabotage it by eating too many of their snack bars. When both a chocolate peanut butter snack treat and a banana were 2 points - hey - I'll choose the candy. (That's how my brain categorized it) They have recalculated things to push you to eat more fruits and protein and fewer carbs, edging you closer to a South Beach kind of diet. But in a subtle, kind, even interesting way. I read the SB plan - my own physicians recommend it - but it struck me as very Nazi-esque. I realize that is only me - but we are only talking about me right now. I like WW's delivery So Much Better.
I also like their little blue calculator - which has turned out to really help me keep track of how much I eat. Now - when I override the daily limits - I know it. I may still have chosen to override things - but it's no mystery.
So the real task, right now, is to stop overriding my limits. Biggest weakness? Semi-mindless weekend grazing. It's not mindless because I have disciplined myself to track the eating - but it's the attitude of "Okay. I'm gonna overeat" It's making me waffle back and forth, flirting with success but never accepting it. I need an attitude adjustment.
So for this week here are the steps I plan to take:
1. 4 days each week eat no more than 29 points
2. for the next week – each time I think I'll have a bite – drink a glass of water first.
3. walk 2 miles every day – indoors or out
4. tell people my plan and blog about my successes
5. check back each week to fine tune these steps.
So. Guess what? You guys are step 4!! Thank you!
Here is where some rewards might come in handy too. Here's my list.
1. Each week the scale is down the reward will be: $50 of play money to be posted on my Vision Board to be saved up for New Clothes in my New Size when I am At Goal
2. Each time I lose three consecutive weeks the reward will be: Cast on a new project from stash yarn, no matter WHAT else I am knitting
3. When I get below 160 the reward will be: One new garment bought at a local store
4. If I lose 6 consecutive weeks the reward will be: A sweater's worth of New Yarn.
5. When I get below 155 the reward will be: A day off from work, playing with a girlfriend in W'msbrg or Richmond
6. When I no longer have to pay for meetings (152) the reward will be: $100 of that same play money to be posted on the Vision Board
7. When I have stayed at goal for 6 weeks the reward will be: 2 yards of Munro Plaid wool for a skirt
And though I have not thought them up yet - I plan to make rewards for Staying at goal too. But that is for later. After I get there. And Yes! This weekend I will, at last, make my Vision Board.
So, guys - that's the plan. See ya next week with a report.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Lawsie! I had now idea I'd be away this long - almost as if I got buried at that funeral too. Which, in some ways, I was. At least my ability to focus seemed to sink out of sight - my power to think creatively and critically and make good decisions and meet deadlines - it just shriveled up and wobbled in a corner all summer long.
Of course - when I am not coping with the loss of a parent and the loss of a beloved pet and the weeks of triple digit temperatures I am quite capable of doing all those things and by good chance, all last winter and deep into the springtime I had - so while l my brain has been on hiatus, the good things set in motion rolled forward, were accomplished and came to fruition.
Ha! Just in time for Hurricane Irene!
Okay - joking aside - I have been amazed at how difficult it's been to cope with grief and am thankful for my friends, my staff, the folks who have carried the ball for me these past months. I had no idea how often, during the day, I would save up little bits and stories, incidents and funny happenings to share with Daddy. I had no concept of how much both he and my little dog Priss defined me. Daddy was, without a doubt, the most difficult man to live with on earth. At one point this summer a girlfriend commented "I can't believe how all over the place you are whenever you talk about your dad" and I said "YES!" He sucked everything out of you and made you look at it - live with it - deal with it: joy, furry, fear, delight, confidence, wisdom, disgust, happiness, vivacity ... every extreme word you can imagine. And I managed to survive it all. He was proof to me that I could live through anything. He was proof to me that all emotions - all states were there at my fingertips - to be used and lived with and acknowledged.
And my little Priss? Ah. She was proof that at my very core I was a good person - someone a little abused dog would look at and know was her safe haven. I loved to tell "The Story of Priss" and if it sounded like I was bragging - well - I was. Because we all want to think we are good and Priss always made me feel like I was.
So this summer was pretty much a lesson in living on auto pilot. Perhaps I let myself do this because I knew things were fairly well lined up and wouldn't need much supervision. Perhaps I couldn't help it either - since I can't imagine pulling my scattered wits together and making Good Decisions on Important Matters. I think, if I dig deep into my memory, I can remember a moment when I said "In September ..." Like going back to school, In September I would start swimming forward instead of treading water.
Of course, August had one final gift for us - a massive hurricane that left us with more than an acre of downed trees, washed out our road, took the power AND phone, and closed the library for 3 days. Whew!
And then came Katia who just would not move north fast enough - she gave us another 12 inches of rain, though thankfully none of the wind. So out went the road and phone again! I have been home now for 2 days.
All this down time, though, has been very therapeutic. The quiet of a house without power is very soothing. We had plenty of water and supplies and we cook with gas, which is in big tanks in the back yard. I had books and knitting and Himself for company. Here it is looking at mid-September and I'm actually feeling like a normal person again. Last week I could actually see what needed to be done - work productively, creatively, and when I got stuck at home - everything could move ahead without me actually being there. Cool, huh?
Ah - but where am I on my journey to a healthy weight? That's okay too. Moving very slowly - but there has been very little stress eating this summer. I've averaged about .25 to .5 lbs of weightloss all summer - which is okay by me. My motto has always been Down is Down. I've found that 10 lbs moves me into a smaller size and I'm able to Shop My Closet for things that I hadn't worn in years. I'm also ready to devote attention and energy to this journey now too - a not uncommon September phenomenon. Might even set me a goal....
So - dear friends. I haven't meant to be gone so long but there it is. I'm just glad I had this summer to grieve and contemplate, asses and consider, drift away and fritter. I'm glad World Events didn't depend on me. I'm glad nobody really needed me much this summer. Glad someone Else wants to be president or prime minister or king or head honcho. Aren't you glad too.
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