BESSHAILE   44,176
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Baby steps day 1 report

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Swim 30 minutes after work__x
5 fruits and vegetables ____x__
No rolls at the restaurant today at lunch ____0_____

Score ___2___

Well - not too bad. I knew I was going to a restaurant for lunch yesterday - one that is renowned for it's rolls; delicious - but excessively buttery even before you put butter on them. so when the waiter asked "Would you like bread with your meal?" I declined. But there in the marvelous salad bar, along with croutons there were sliced and toasted rolls left over from breakfast. which I did have with my salad. I'm not giving myself a point because I did take 2 slices for my salad. But I'm not subtracting a point either because I would have allowed a few croutons on a salad - so long as it really was just a few. I don't want to eliminate bread from my diet - I just don't want to scarf down baskets full of them.

Since each point equals 5 minutes off - that's 10 minutes earned! Sweet!

So - what are today's goals?

1. 30 minutes of walking (this will be tricky because I have another lunch meeting and it's going to rain ... but I can do it)
2. 5 fruits and vegetables
3. Stop eating dinner the minute I feel no longer hungry. If I want something more later it's okay but stop when I'm no longer hungry. period.

Let's see if I can earn 15 minutes more time off in January?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHEILA1505 11/30/2010 8:24AM

    What are you going to do with your free afternoon or day off, Bess? You're doing well and let's have some fun planning :))


PS I'm getting a cut-price facial and pedi Friday 10th before the last dance school party - cos I've managed to work off the weight I picked up after travelling and sulking cos I had no other plans :))

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FAERY_FACE 11/30/2010 7:52AM

    Best of luck sweety, you're doing GREAT!

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MSLZZY 11/30/2010 7:33AM

    I think you did quite well! I'd say 15 minutes will be a shoo-in! HUGS!

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Baby steps back on to the track

Monday, November 29, 2010

Okay - my house is pie-free, the last of the gravy went on the dogs' food bowls last night, and my favorite jeans waistband is uncomfortably tight. Time to get back on track.

I'm a good ways from that track, but I'm NOT going to try to dash back the distance. I will take baby steps. Cumulatively they ought to do the trick for me. But I have to do them daily - because this one day of good behavior followed by 2 days of slacker steps is just not going to get me through the festive month of December.

so. The deal is - post my daily goals and score myself on them - a point for each goal achieved, a point taken away from the total for each goal un-attempted and no points given or taken for half tries.

The reward will be 5 minutes of leave I can take off from work for every point. So - if there are 3 goals a day times 33 days times 5 minutes per goal divided by 60 minutes I ought to earn a little over a day off. One sweet free day off from work in January to do with what I please. Yup. sounds sweet to me.

Today's goals

Swim 30 minutes after work_____
5 fruits and vegetables _________
No rolls at the restaurant today at lunch _________

Baby steps. See where I end up by January 1.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CIVIAV 12/1/2010 3:30PM

    Baby steps create miles of success!

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MSLZZY 11/29/2010 5:04PM

    Sounds like aplan to me-positive! HUGS!

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AEBROWNSON 11/29/2010 12:18PM

    Sounds like a great plan!

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MUSHCAT 11/29/2010 8:45AM

    Good plan with a wonderful reward.

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JANNIEWANNIE 11/29/2010 8:37AM

    Now, I see you are definitely in control. I like your attitude. Thank you for sharing. Hugs from Janet in cloudy central Illinois.

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SHEILA1505 11/29/2010 8:16AM

    Hi Bess
Good to see you have a plan - and you will succeed - cos that is who you are :))

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JLITT62 11/29/2010 8:08AM

    Love the plan!

Despite the sub-freezing temps this morning, I left the house shortly after 6am for my swim. Lord, that first splash in is cold! But after the first lap it's just bliss.

May you continue to be blissed out (in a good way) and earn that day off.

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Swimming away from the blues - and a Thanksgiving Tale

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Yesterday I hit the great blue wall of pity = feeling sorry for myself because our vacation plans got flushed and my precious dear man was having a hard time recovering from his surgery. From there I quickly spiraled down, plucking every bad thing I could imagine along the way, to make sure I was really sad. The goofy part of it was that we really were through the worst - but that is when the old blue devils came to sit on my heart.

Fortunately I know that exercise can chase those blues away and instead of self sacrificing doormat behavior I chose to go to town and swim laps for 30 minutes. I caught up with a friend and had lunch with her and punched those old blue devils in the nose. I'm glad I remembered that everyone needs help now and then and people are glad to give it and get it. But nobody wants help that sucks the helper dry. Nobody wants help that comes with guilt attached.

I'm heaps better today. In fact, I'm, as my son used to say; "All Fixed" so I'm offering you a link to a wonderful goofy silly Thanksgiving dog story. Hope you enjoy it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AEBROWNSON 11/29/2010 12:24PM

    What a lovely Thanksgiving story! Dogs are indeed a wonder.

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JLITT62 11/25/2010 7:41AM

    It's so important to feel our feelings, rather than stuffing them -- with something. Good for you for leaving it in the swimming pool!

A very happy Thanksgiving!

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LUNADRAGON 11/24/2010 11:21PM

    Praise God. I know you are still dealing with a lot, but fixing the attitude thing is a great way to go. You are on my mind and heart, and I am praying you and yours have a good Thanksgiving.

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MSLZZY 11/24/2010 11:33AM

    So glad you are "all fixed"! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and thanks for sharing! HUGS!

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My dear friends - thank you

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I can't say how much I appreciate your kind words of support. We did change our plans. This particular vacation is cancelled but another will get planned for another time. Instead my husband will have eye surgery on Friday. There is a 10% chance of a detached retina but that means there is a 90% chance there won't be one. He'll be blind this weekend but I don't think that will last much more than a few days. I have every expectation that he will carve the Thanksgiving turkey for all our guests this year.

And since I had already arranged to be off from work, I can be home and care for him as much as he needs without worry that things are going undone.

And I must assure you that I never ever regret time spent at home, surrounded by my pets and my books and my toys. In fact - how's this for a picnic spot today?

I'll keep you all posted as things progress. When we sit around the table next week an talk about the things we are thankful for - I will be sure to mention my spark friends. thank you thank you thank you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUNADRAGON 11/23/2010 7:21AM

    Bess, I am so sorry to hear how intense these health struggles are for your husband. My older son has an underdeveloped optic nerve in one eye making him legally blind in that eye. I have thought of the scenario of losing his good eye, and it is a scary idea. I will pray your for your husband right now.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MSLZZY 11/18/2010 7:07PM

    God had a plan for you and now you will follow it through and know you made the wisest decision. My prayers to you both! HUGS!

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WEDDWT 11/18/2010 3:25PM

    Will put Fri on my calendar and send healing thoughts out to you and DH all day.

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JLITT62 11/18/2010 11:10AM

    I am so sorry about the missed vacation, and will say prayers for DH's eye surgery to go well. I have had a couple of eye surgeries of my own, but they were successful (and many, many years ago), and have, in fact, allowed me to see better.

We have missed a few planned for and longed for vacations -- oddly enough, both times it was going to Vegas. One was supposed to be right after 9/11, and obviously did not happen at that time. The other time we canceled our plans the day we were supposed to leave, because my elderly cat was clearly very sick, and in fact, we had to put her to sleep a few days later.

So I can, in a small way, empathize.

Many, many emoticon

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RITAROSE 11/18/2010 7:54AM

  So glad you can be home to take care of your husband! I love being able to do that for my family too! I, too, am very thankful for SP in general and how it's helped me continue my weight loss and journey into good health, but also the people who have invested in me, that's priceless! Have a thankful Thanksgiving, sounds like you are well on your way to that! Hugs, Ritarose emoticon

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Finding your way in times of uncertainty

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

My precious husband has dreadfully fragile eyes. After many surgeries, he can see out of one eye and he can find the Big E on the eye chart with the other. This allows him to drive a car and move around the house freely but it has curtailed many things we always counted on him doing - things like, carpentry work or even finding tools he's set down. In the past 6 months, though, his good eye has been acting up - as in becoming infected and not responding to antibiotics. the sure fire treatment is More Surgery but it comes with risk and this time, he has no 'good eye' to back him up.

This has been going on for 3 years and he has been A Prince throughout it all. I can count on one half of one hand the times he's been short tempered or depressed or made others around him feel uncomfortable. And I've taken my cue from him, always seeing the positive side of things, insisting on viewing the endless hours in doctors' offices in cities 50 miles away as opportunities for us to spend time together, to talk about things, to have adventures. We've dined in different restaurants, visited with friends and just refused to be pulled down by all this.

But this latest flare up - which is both painful and ... er ... juicy ... has not only broken through the wall of combined good attitudes but has come just as we were heading off on a long delayed vacation with friends. We're still not positive that it will force us to change plans, but we're not stupid either. If we have to put on our big boy and girl panties, well, we just will.

I have been trying to find the path through this that will do the most good and the least harm and a memory from the past flew up into my consciousness to help. First you must understand that though we play well together, we have never worked well together. He is a different type from me, a real INTJ to my ENFP if you're familiar with the Meyers Briggs personality tests. He is also a writer and one year he wanted to make a recording of some of his poetry that involved two voices: male and female and asked me to do the female voice. Now, I am not just a librarian, I'm a former musician, a performer, and - I smugly believe - someone with not just a good voice but with good command of my voice. And believe me, I tried to get him to hire a professional actress to do this for him but he either could not or would not, for while I thought I could do a good job, I also knew that we fall into wrangling when we try to work together and here he would be criticizing things about which I had strong opinions and feelings.

And sure enough, we fell to wrangling and things grew worse and more tense and fractious until I suddenly thought - these are HIS poems. He wanted to create something and asked me to help. And I had said I would and I still thought I could do both a good job and a job that pleased him. So. instead of trying to be the artist, I decided to be the violin. It was a surrender of sorts - a release of my ego to help someone I loved create something he longed for. And once I'd made that decision we had the best time, I could enjoy and value his artistic aesthetics without giving up my own. It ended up being one of the best times we ever had and we like to remember it sometimes just for the pleasure of feeling those good feelings all over again.

So when, in the dead of night, he woke with pain and other junk, and a year's worth of saving and planning look to be flying out the window and he was so brave about it but so sad .. that old memory flooded back and I thought - bet there's a path out of this. It had to do with empathy and with surrender to something bigger than us, with allowing and putting ego aside, with believing there's a way forward that isn't just okay - but will probably give us more good memories to pull up just for the pleasure of remembering.

I don't know how things will pan out this week. We may be in a hospital. We may be in the car on the way to visit friends. I just don't know. But I do know there is a way and if I just put my ego aside, it'll show itself soon.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OPAL50 11/17/2010 2:51PM

    You expressed so well the down and dirty part of the marriage relationship as well the tender and loving part! I need to remember this blog when I must be the "violin" and put on "my big girl pants"! Prayers and Hugs that all goes well with your DH! emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/17/2010 2:52:09 PM

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WEDDWT 11/17/2010 1:17PM

    This is a very poignant story, and one I think that's suited for a marriage manual; the surrender of ego, selfless sacrificial serving, love marked by giving, not getting, or as you so beautifully said - being the violin, not the artist.
There is a path out of the uncertainty of what is currently happening and I sense you will find it.
Prayers, Susan

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SHEILA1505 11/17/2010 10:48AM

    I am intrigued to see what the Universe is scheming for you to get through or around this.

And I absolutely love the reference to being the violin and helping DH recreate his poetry the way he intended it to be heard

Big Hugs and love - as ever

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PARKERB2 11/17/2010 10:41AM

    Sending you emoticon in your difficult time. Hope all works out well for you and the hubby. Keep the Faith. Have a good day and Keep Sparking.

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MSLZZY 11/17/2010 8:21AM

    I really needed this today. My ego wanted to be up front and center but I think it's time to take
a back seat. I do like the "big boy and girl panties" approach-I'll have to go and find me a pair.
HUGS and prayers!

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MILMOM2000NEW 11/17/2010 8:20AM

    Praying for your hubby's health and for you as well!

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