BESSHAILE   52,037
50,000-59,999 SparkPoints
BESSHAILE's Recent Blog Entries

A voice from the right side of my brain

Thursday, May 06, 2010

woo woo.

I was just writing to a friend and telling her how I was doing when right brain spoke up and made a demand.

"If you don't take time to enjoy this beautiful May Morning OUTDOORS!!! I am going to eat cheetoes and chocolate all the rest of the day!"

whoa!!! And I heard it without having to sit down and use my left hand to tap into that. That's a FIRST!

More than anything else I've gotten from Martha Beck, the R/L writing has been my favorite. It's fun. It takes less than 15 minutes. It's often eye opening, always rewarding, and leaves me feeling much more ... more happy with myself than anything else I've ever done. I just like the way my brain works when I am writing with my left hand. I like its tempo. I like its attention to things. I like the way it accepts my handwriting mistakes because "Hey, I'm using my left hand" - which is an important opportunity to feel what it's like to really accept myself.

ooooo. powerful.

Also - I find the questioning list maker and the impulsive truth teller really are kind to each other. I honestly feel each side loving the other when I'm doing this.

I'm not all that big into self hatred but I am also often a little slow to accept compliments and affection - from others and certainly from myself. Oh - I have learned how to do the polite when people say nice things to me. I smile. I nod and look downwards and I always say thank you. What I have NOT learned how to do as well is to really take in compliments and affection and love. I busily brush past that warm gift and Get On To The Next Thing. It's stupid to not accept love from self or others, and probably destructive too, because I may start behaving as if there is no love out there in the world. Not cruelly - because that isn't any fun for me - but callously or unthinkingly. It's when I'm "moving on moving on moving on" that I'll say something tactless or do something thoughtless.

Not that I think I have to ease everyone's path through life. I'm not talking about codependent behavior. Just ... just ...

Going through life not feeling appreciated and loved is very easy to do and it keeps me from appreciating and loving. There's a glimmer here. A hint of what is really going on down inside my little belief generator that keeps me from believing I am a naturally fit slim healthy woman. Not having that belief means any effort to change is doomed to failure because ... it isn't natural. It's an effort instead of the normal state.

Hmmm. Well. Well. I shall continue to talk to that right brain of mine ... and to listen ... and in the mean time, I'm going to go out and take a walk in this delicious May Morning.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 5/7/2010 6:34AM

    I may have to try writing left-handed, just not at the office LOL!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JLITT62 5/6/2010 8:18AM

    See now, I've always found writing with my left hand to be incredibly frustrating. I don't like doing things I don't do well, and I most definitely don't write well with my left hand. Oh, I'll do things with that hand occasionally, but it's always so frustrating.

So there. You're much ahead of me in that department!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALEXTHEHUNN 5/6/2010 8:02AM

    Enjoy your walk. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IFDEEVARUNS2 5/6/2010 7:59AM

    thank you for this blog: just what I needed to read. I'm struggling with the left/right brain thing.....

Report Inappropriate Comment

Ordinary Days vs. Special Events

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

First off - thank you for the good hot weather cooking ideas. I can see myself using all of them. though temperatures have moderated in the past 24 hours - we are just at the dawn of the HotHotHot season and I'm glad to get some fresh ideas for summertime eating.

I am thinking today, though, about which are more difficult for someone trying to reshape her body: Ordinary Days or Special Events. I think back over the past 2 months when I had to field a spate of Special Events - lasagna suppers and Graves Mt. Lodge and Birthdays and Anniversaries and the truth is - with forethought and creativity, I breezed through them all. and yet. and yet I am still not even 10 lbs down from January. 10 lbs in 4 months seems somewhat poky in my book and I am wondering if I need to look again at how I go through Ordinary Days.

So. So let's look at ODs. What are their attributes?

Well. First off - there are a lot of them. That means I don't treat each one as the Special Event it might be. I don't prepare for them. I don't experience each one as deserving of the attention the SEs get. I am sloppy with them. I think "oh well, it's only today. It's only a tee tiny bit. I'm just a wee fraction over the limit, across the line, under the radar"

And for any given Ordinary Day that might be true. For a week or 4 months of them - well. well. It adds up.

Honestly sometimes I wonder if I'm even serious about this weight loss effort. Oh. I suppose if, on January 1, 2011, I weighed what is it? 3 x 9 lbs = 27 lbs less than I did on January 1, 2010 I would have to consider that almost freakishly successful, but right now I am not all that sure I would see that if I continue on, dissing Ordinary Days. In fact there could be negative movement. There could be weight gains.


The light bulb is glimmering - and it's casting its light on the Spark People (and Weight Watcher and probably every other nutritional counseling) concept of One Day At A Time. One Special Day. One day that deserves as much thought and as much attention and as much tender care as any wedding, birthday or business luncheon does.

It is even possible that, in a fully lived life, there are No Ordinary Days. Each one is a special gift, ripe with potential, ready to glorify my world if only I treat it with the same consideration I treat those calendar days.


I must think more on this ... as I go about this Special Day. Perhaps a whole string of them will be the key to reaching more than my weight loss goals.

May all your days be special.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAVE_FREE 5/4/2010 12:44PM

    You seem to have something here with treating every day like something special! I have to plan every day or I let myself get out of line VERY quickly, but I do allow flexibility with each plan. I started in January too and I only hit my 10 lb mark two weeks ago. Poky poky, but it's gone!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHEILA1505 5/4/2010 7:26AM

I (me and myself) am my No.1 project - I want to be the healthiest, most cheerful, sexiest, most yeee-hah me that I can be - and when I got real recently about why I was stuck at a weight, I took stock. Properly. Honestly.

I saw how much FF yogurt I was eating every day, and how much cheese ... since I've been back home I've cut back the yogurt by half and if I have cheese I made a deal with myself that I can only have it if I have non-gluten rye biscuits with it and eat it properly as a snack and not just munch thru a chunk of cheddar.

Then ... the calories add up and is it really worth my while having the cheese in the first place! It's been a trade-off - cheese vs stax of veg or salad and other protein - tho I do have to make sure I get enough fats so I should substitute avo or nuts rather.

Every day is an adventure Bess - have fun with it in some way!

with love and hugs

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 5/4/2010 7:14AM

    Each and every day is special because once it is over, it will never come again! Use it wisely! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Hot weather food

Monday, May 03, 2010

Hot weather arrived this weekend. It blew in on a fierce southerly wind and began drying up everything in its path. It also brought out the dread Mayflies - which any entomologist will tell you is really a dear fly - but we know better. These are biting flies and they usually show up sometimes after May 12. If you are going to put in a garden around here you better have it mostly done by May 12 because after that those wicked little pests will chew and chase you right back indoors. They hate shadow and cool so they won't try to fly into your house, but they love warmth and sunshine. In a few weeks the snake doctors (You call them dragon flies) will be out and put an end to the torment but by then it's really too hot to be doing anything but weeding and harvesting in the garden.

Even though we get snow and ice in the winter, this is TheSouth and we know heat. The only difference between Virginia and Mississippi is the number of months that qualify as Summer.

So it's all about what to make when it's 90 degrees outside with 90% humidity. I had been wanting to try a new breadcrumb crust from the McCormac spice people called Crusting Blend,

on baked pork loin so I cranked up the oven on Saturday. (it was very good, btw)

Needless to say, the upstairs bedrooms that night were hot hot hot. Our house is naturally very cool, especially downstairs, so we don't have A/C. Don't need it most of the time but then ... I also don't bake in the summertime. We grill out often. I have a number of quick fry recipes and then there are the no-cook ones - like tuna fish salad. Which I made last night with a dash of dill pickle relish along with the ubiquitous mayo (I prefer the olive oil mayonnaise) onion, celery and chopped hard boiled egg. Placed in large dollops onto spring mix greens it made the most delicious summer supper.

So. What are your favorite no-cook recipes and foods for eating in the hot hot hot summertime?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLITT62 5/3/2010 12:37PM

    Well, I like sushi any time of the year.

Have you ever tried peanut noodles? They can be awesome -- even healthy if you get the right recipe!

Unfortunately, most of our living space is on the second floor, and it heats up really quickly. If I don't run the AC when it gets to 75, we just can't sleep comfortably. And unfortunately my kitchen is on the same floor.

Hmm. What else? Puts thinking cap on but I guess not up to that at the moment. Salads, of course.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 5/3/2010 10:06AM

    I bake a large beef roast, then grind the leftovers and make sandwiches by adding a little Miracle Whip, chopped onions, Mrs Dash and seasoned pepper. Yumm!
Good recipe, BTW! I think our little grocery store carries the seasoning. I'll have to check.
Stay cool!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EDWINA172 5/3/2010 9:15AM

    I love tuna salad also. I use light mayo or Greek yogurt, dill weed and onion. I also do chicken in the crock pot every weekend. (I know its not a no-cook recipe, but I eat it cold during the week.) I put 6 pounds of chicken breast in the crock pot with 1/2 cup chicken broth. After about 8 hours I remove the chicken and shred it with a fork. We eat it on pita or by itself with BBQ sauce. No need to warm it up at all.
Thanks for sharing your recipes.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PLAYBLUES22 5/3/2010 8:24AM

    Thank you so much for the link to McCormick nice ideas emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    One thing I like to do is in the am or in the later evening, I'll cook up (I know - sorry, this isn't technically 'no cook') some chicken on my George Forman grill and then use it for the next 2 days in salad and sandwiches.
Or (again a tiny bit of cooking) I'll boil a few eggs to leave in the fridge for the week to use in salads and sandwiches.

Fruit salad is always a great dessert!!


Report Inappropriate Comment

The Merry Month of May - and that red polka dotted bathing suit

Saturday, May 01, 2010

If I were in charge of the world, there would be at least 3 Mays every year - and maybe even as many as 5. May in Virginia is so beautiful I could weep. May skies are so blue your eyes sometimes have to blink. And Scarlet Tanengers flicker their redness across that blue background on a daily basis. May mornings are often crisp like some juicy fruit and are perfumed with roses and honeysuckle blossoms and every now and then, the rare swamp sweet bell, which is like a buttery lily of the valley. May afternoons are usually only warm but even when the temperature climbs into the 90s they don't feel brutal because the ground is still cool from winter's frosts. May evenings chirp with frogs and insects and lilt with owls' calls. I always manage to take time off in May.

May is also the month my son was born, so there is a sweetness to it that stirs up memories of that long ago day when we all got to meet face to face. And do you remember Julie Andrews in Camelot, singing "Tra La, It's May, the lusty month of May" ? Yeah.

I am sitting here, thinking about where I am this May compared to previous Mays. I am a little lighter - that's good. And I have some familiarity with yoga - that's good too. I have a week's vacation coming at the end of the month and by hook or by crook or by our family car - I am going to spend some of it at the ocean. And that brings up the question of how will I look in a bathing suit this May? Hmmmm.

I have about 3 weeks till we toddle off to VaBeach or Nags Head or wherever we decide to go. I believe I will see how far below the 160 mark I can get between now and then. I think an image of me in that really cute red polka dotted bathing suit (Not a bikini, please) is what I need to keep before me. I know where that suit is. I could even pull it out and hang it inside the wardrobe door so that every time I get dressed in the morning I will remember what I want to be wearing this summer.

Yes. A cute red bathing suit is just the inspiration I need.

What do you need for your May inspiration?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLITT62 5/1/2010 11:00AM

    In TX, by May, you're already getting into the heat of the summer. But here, everything's just beginning to bloom (that would've been over by March in TX!). I won't miss the summer in TX, but I sure do miss the spring. Nothing like a field of bluebonnets.

For me, right now, I am wearing the bracelet I bought myself to celebrate getting thru my plateau (which didn't last long with going away -- I think my body must be particularly sensitive to sodim. Or maybe I'm just kidding myself. Whatever).

But right now I do need a tangible reminder that Hershey's dark chocolate kisses aren't a free food. And my bracelet serves the purpose. I was thinking about blogging about that today, actually.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALEXTHEHUNN 5/1/2010 8:02AM

    I love May; it's my favorite month also. However, I think I shall forgo the red polka-dotted bathing suit.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 5/1/2010 7:41AM

    Blue skies, fresh spring flowers and my growing garden keep me inspired. Have a great day! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHEILA1505 5/1/2010 6:37AM

    Oh wow, Bess - then everyone would have to give me 3 (or 5) sets of birthday gifts, cards, flowers, greetings etc - Oh I do like your ideas!

It is a simply stunning month in Cape Town too - though sometimes we get serious downpours of rain for day after day after day. However .... it is the month the rosy-purple azalea blooms beneath blue-purple tibouchina, next to the double shocking pink and white camellia, opposite the double scarlet camellia, alongside the purple white and lavender (yesterday today and tomorrow) Brunelsia - you get my drift ... a total riot of colour in my garden - oh and lots of leaves are turning orange too just to add to it all.

And ... added to that ... it is sometimes one of the best months for clear skies and tolerable temperatures for tourists - if they hit it lucky

I am a great big fan of May ... and I hope your itsy bitsy teeny weeny (non-yellow) red polka dot bikini does the trick for you


Report Inappropriate Comment

Rewards of following the path of Love

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Thank you all again for sharing this powerful journey with me. I was of two minds about discussing such family stuff here and yet I was unable to hold it all inside. Also - because I did share things with you I felt compelled to keep trying to find the way out of a very sad Monday instead of just staying in TheBluePlace and feeling sorry for myself with Mr.Chocolate and MsCheese, though I will admit, we've had a few meals together this week. Let us hope they have been brief enough that there won't be any dismay on Sunday's weigh-in.

But here is something ELSE that comes from putting down defences, resentments and hurt feelings and looking for the love. It opens your ears and heart so that you can recognize an apology when it comes. Sometimes people can't actually say words but they can make gestures and if you've opened up to that loving possibility - you can hear what's not said.

You have to admit - that's mighty sweet.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHEILA1505 4/29/2010 5:31PM

    How wonderful that is - big hugs

with love

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUSTDUCKY1405 4/29/2010 4:43PM

    That IS mighty sweet! And thanks for sharing it! I will definitely keep my awareness open to the unsaid gestures of forgiveness!

Seriously... never looked at it that way! Always felt an actual apology had to take place... thanks for allowing me to open my mind up a little more today!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALEXTHEHUNN 4/29/2010 9:52AM

    What a wonderful piece.


Report Inappropriate Comment
EDWINA172 4/29/2010 9:24AM

    Thank you for opening up your heart and sharing your feelings with your Spark friends.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUGE300000 4/29/2010 8:07AM


Report Inappropriate Comment
SKINNYPOWELL1 4/29/2010 8:00AM

    Glad your heart was open to feel the love. Hope your have a blessed day. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
OPAL50 4/29/2010 7:59AM

    Beautifully expressed. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MSLZZY 4/29/2010 7:52AM

    So true! Not everyone can express what they are feeling. Saying "I love you" can be difficult.
Not for me! LUV you bunches! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 Last Page