Saturday, April 17, 2010
Thank you all so much for the good wishes. We're going to spend the whole day playing together but our biorhythms don't change even for an anniversary so my Night Owl is still asleep while this Lark has a few moments to blog and I have a few thoughts I want to share before I forget them. Sieve brain stuff.
As you all know, I have been devoting a fairly good bit of time to letting my Wild Child and my School Marm duke it out and I am much more aware of fleeting emotions as they flicker through me. The hint of jealousy when a friend tells you of an adventure she's setting out on, while you are just scrubbing the bathroom floor. The pinch of frustration when the 60 watt light bulb is too dim and you haven't any stronger ones and it's 10 o'clock at night. That tiny pinch of anger when the socks are on the bedroom floor instead of in the hamper that is right next to them.
It dawned on me that it's important to acknowledge those twinge emotions because ... I think that tamping them down, ignoring them because we are ashamed of them, because it's polite, because they aren't really important enough to investigate, makes us stop listening to all sorts of emotions - which are our Wild Child's way of warning us that something's wrong. We just placate it with chocolate.
Well. I'll be. hmm. have I had a light bulb moment here?
I also notice about my WC and my SM is that for the most part they like each other and cooperate. Like true siblings they squabble and argue and each can make the other truly miserable. What I realize is that they both want me to be safe, they both want my life to be good and they often embrace.
So, I'm working my way through the 4-day win book, making head changes. I'm about finished my ridiculously easy first 4-day win, which I have accomplished, so long as I eat no more than 2 deserts tonight. LOL Really! That was what makes it so ridiculous. It's been hard to do the daily rewards because I tend to forget about that part, but the 4 day win reward, which is sort of big this time, because it's the first and because we're getting a tax refund, is to purchase some yarn from elann dot com - because they have some stuff I want to buy.
And I am utterly drooling at the idea of writing with both hands, dominant hand asking questions and Wild Child hand answering - so that is going to be my next 4-day win challenge. I'll let you know how it goes. Sounds like an art class to me!
Friday, April 16, 2010
Do you read your horoscope? Do you scoff at people who read horoscopes? Himself, who is an astronomer, twitches when I read them out loud so, of course, I'm sorely tempted to do it every day just to tease him. I don't, but I'm tempted. My son, who is pure Haile engineer (ALL Hailes are engineers, even the poets among them) says disgustedly "Mom, do you really think one twelfth of the world is going to stub his toe today?" To which I reply - "I do not care about the math. I am only having fun. I also read fortune cookies. I do not base my retirement investments on them. It's play, like cards or hopscotch."
But when a horoscope hits close to home I do like to acknowledge it and boy, look at mine
(and all the rest of my Virgo sisters and brothers battling weight issues) for today.
"You have lately been getting quite an education. You have started to see old familiar situations in a new light. You may not feel any older ... but you are most definitely wiser. Events, this weekend, will enable you to apply that wisdom. You will naturally know that it is safe to stand back and take a philosophical view of circumstances that might once have caused you much aggravation and exasperation. That means you can have power over a factor which once had power over you."
Well. Well and well. Tomorrow Himself and I celebrate our 36th wedding anniversary and we're going to an all you can eat fundraiser meal in our community. I've never been - it's always around our anniversary and it's a bit pricey. But this year we're going and a scant month ago I was pretty worried about being exposed to all that food. I can pretty much guarantee there will be every high calorie fabulous tasting food these farm wives, and daughters of farmers can stir up. The food is aimed at the menfolk 'round here, which means in addition to being tasty it's going to be plentiful.
One of my goals listed on my sparkpage is to be calm around food situations and this is exactly the kind of foodie situation I was thinking about. And do you know? I don't feel nervous about going. I honestly think I have some tricks in my pocket now for facing the high energy sugared and spiced social foodie situation with calm equanimity and the power to make healthy choices. Happily make them with every part of me cooperating willingly to have a good time.
Neat, huh? To have power over food that once had power over me? Sounds good to me. Hope you gain that same power, even if you are not a Virgo or don't read horoscopes.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Still wallowing in the mind of Martha Beck and yesterday I took her advice and SIN-ed. SIN stands for Substitute Inedible Nourishment. This could be tactile - anything from stroking a pet, to a massage or hot bath, to passionate lovemaking. All wonderful ways to make yourself feel good, but hardly appropriate in an office setting, where afternoon boredom eating so frequently hits. But it can also be intellectual. Our brains love to learn and we are each of us very particular in the things we really love to learn. There are no value judgements on knowledge - what your mind loves is what it loves. So you may love learning heart surgery or you may love learning fly tying. The thing is - in an office setting it's a heck of a lot easier to pick up your favorite hobby magazine and read an article than it is to take a hot bath in the staff washroom.
I love puzzles, quizzes and filling out forms. (even IRS forms hold a certain fascination for me) Yesterday I was working hard on some tedious-but-important-to-my-job writing and when I came to a good stopping point I was assailed by an urge to snack. Fortunately the Four-Day-Win book was on my desk and it's chock a block full of little fun forms you could fill out - exercises she calls them, all of which ask you to come up with mini rewards. So I opened the book, filled out the first form, thought up a little gift to myself and wrote it down and in less than 10 minutes I had absolutely zero craving. I had never been hungry. I just wanted a treat for completing a task.
woo woo. Is this a non-scale victory or what? I would have sworn I was hungry but I just wanted some love. and I gave me some.
So. Go SIN next time you get a craving and see what happens.
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