Finding my footing again

Friday, March 05, 2010

I have a non-epileptic health condition that is rare, benign (so they say - "they" should experience this), with no known cause and no treatment other than "Live with it". It is a neurological thing that has visible symptoms that seem to be triggered by exertion and/or stress. These identified triggers mean that there are probably ways of preventing more episodes and I also believe that there are ways of creating a structure so that should another episode occur, I will be safe.

the first neurologist I went to said "It never happens, when it does it never happens again. go home live long and prosper hey cool man"

so when it DID happen again it never crossed my mind to call him about it. I called my GP who is pretty good, but very young and though he didn't say so, in his voice (Hey, I'm a mom, I know a "voice" when I hear it) I could discern a panic-like hint of "How should I know? that's why I sent you to a specialist." The upshot was that I went to a new neurologist who at least seemed to take me seriously, although the diagnosis and treatment plan are still very much the same.

It is funny to listen to medical people find ways of telling you "we haven't got a clue what this is, what causes it or how to prevent it or how to treat it" without giving up their god like status. Or rather - it is funny in hindsight to remember that's what they were saying.

I have often been grateful that I was born in the post penicillin age when medicine could do serious good. This was especially so after I became a mother. When I think of all the cuts, dirt, germs out there just waiting to suck your children under - and a glance back at mortality statistics will tell you this is not just my imagination - I am particularly glad I live now. But the downside to this is that we expect medicine to have all the answers all the time. It may be that (some) doctors have become a tad arrogant because they do hit bullseye so often, but that's hardly unexpected.

Our bodies can throw up all sorts of surprises and medicine still has many unexplored frontiers. In a way I feel somewhat medieval as I find my footing on the path to dealing with my own condition so thank goodness I am the type who has always sort of forged my own path anyway. From religion to school to marriage to even running a library - I have always had my own approach - my own way of doing things, seeing things, understanding things. Now that I've been told to ... figure it out myself but get enough sleep and don't quit exercising, just go slow - well - I suppose there's nothing for it but to ... figure it out myself while getting enough sleep and going slowly.

so of I go - with a new day and a new path.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAVE_FREE 3/5/2010 9:51AM

I agree with TIDEFAN911; you have a great attitude and you are inspiring. I hope you find some answers. Report Inappropriate Comment

HARPER369 3/5/2010 9:39AM

never head of it, do you sieze? if stress can cause it to happen do they put you on anything for nerves? you definitly have the right attitude because in the long run you have yo figure it out for yourself anyway at least figure out what works best for you, say a prayer for you Report Inappropriate Comment

SHEILA1505 3/5/2010 6:56AM

Yes, well - it's the same old story isn't it - if it doesn't fit their own field of "expertise" go to a pharmacy with a headache, they'll give you headache remedies go to a GP - you'll be told it's stress - take a rest go to a neuro surgeon, they'll give you a CAT Scan &you'll worry about brain tumours go to a chiropractor, they'll either tweak your neck or do kinesiology (which I love BTW) go to an optometrist, they'll test your eyes and sell you new spectacles Glad that you are doing your own research and look forward to your findings Report Inappropriate Comment

TIDEFAN911 3/5/2010 6:44AM

This is inspiring - GOOD LUCK!! Keep up the great attitude! Report Inappropriate Comment

The mathematics of failure

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Well. MissBess has certainly been having a hard time these past several days, staying within her calorie limit. I wasn't too hard on myself last week because ... well, my straying behavior had only just begun, but in the past 7 days I have topped my calorie limit 3 times for a total of 820 calories. So. Let's do the math.

800 calories over the limit
x 52 weeks
--------
41,600 excess calories in a year

Now - 41,600
/ 2,500 calories in a pound
--------------------
16.5 lbs GAINED in a year!!!!

More than 1 lb a month.

In thinking back over the past few days - especially yesterday - the day I really went over the top - what was I doing? Thinking? Feeling!?

Last Wednesday I was legitimately hungry BUT ALSO thirsty in a place laden with temptation

Sunday I was only 20 calories over the limit - but if I were to do that every day I should gain 3 lbs in a year so it's good to remember that even a calorie here or there can really add up

Yesterday - the really baaaaaad day - well. Well I was absolutely starving ALL DAY LONG. Just flat out hungry. If I had been younger I'd have thought it was TOM - but I am past all that. What made me so hungry? And worse yet - what made me eat 3 skinny cow ice cream sandwiches for desert after dinner?

Besides the fact that ice cream is my favorite food in the world and they tasted so good?

Only of course, the 3rd one didn't - so you know - there was the brat factor in action. "I've been hungry all day! Fruit didn't fill me up. I even tried almonds and I was still hungry so there. nya! I will have ice cream if I want it and ha ha ha - try to stop me".

Honestly, though I didn't actually form those thoughts into words, those were my emotions last night! True brat behavior.

but wait! Wait! I didn't drink all my water till late in the day - in fact .... I bet I drank 4 glasses of water from dinner time to bed time. ooooooo.

is there a lesson here? I do think so - I believe I was thirsty yesterday - I believe if I had had more water while I was at work ( on a project I dread and on which I made absolutely NO progress ... am I finding another correlation going on as I ruminate here? Could be.) I might have staved of some of that cavernous empty feeling. It may be that I was not hungry all day but thirsty!!

hmmm. I do believe I must reinstate my old program of drinking 8 glasses of water before I go home from work. Let us see if I can stem this tide of over-eating now - and prevent the math of failure from swamping my best intentions.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 3/3/2010 4:44PM

The brat factor-loved that! I'll have to remember that the next time I am tempted to go overboard. Put that baby to bed! Report Inappropriate Comment

CRAVE_FREE 3/3/2010 12:34PM

Great numbers to be aware of. I love your mention of the brat factor. I didn't have a name for that before, but I do it too. Lately I haven't though; I've been telling the brat to back down if she wants to see those scale numbers go down too. Report Inappropriate Comment

SHEILA1505 3/3/2010 11:48AM

Did the fact that you wanted to be finishing your shawl and not at work have anything to do with it???:)) This week has been constantly hotter than the rest of summer - 34C - as usual. In February, the wind dies down so there's less of that cooling factor - so my water consumption is way off the charts - it's 6.30 in the early evening and I have already drunk 3litres and that's not counting the black coffees. And yes - I am going to have to force myself to balance my food intake before I get to bed otherwise Thursday is going to be difficult with non-stop munchies because of not hitting the numbers today. Today it has been a salad and fruit day, with FF yogurt but that's not enough to keep body &soul together. Sounds like your water levels need topping up - have you tried a glass of hot water with lemon juice first thing in the morning. It counts and it kickstarts the system too. Report Inappropriate Comment

JLITT62 3/3/2010 10:17AM

I know for sure if I don't get the majority of my water in fairly early in the day, I get really hungry. The very first thing I do when I get up is get a glass of water, even when the house is chilly. And if I'm going out? I try to make sure to get about 6 glasses of liquid in, so I'm not tempted by anything I see. And oh yeah, working on something you don't want to be working on can definitely push your buttons, too. Good for you for figuring it out! Good luck doing the right thing, too. Me, unfortunately, I still gotta deal with TOM. What I can't figure out is why some months I'm starving then, and other months I sail right thru. Guess it must be those fluctuating hormones. Report Inappropriate Comment

JKTENTATIVE 3/3/2010 8:47AM

I really like the way you put your thoughts into words. And, although you were disappointed with yourself for going over your limit, you should realize the achievement of recognizing what you did and connecting your thinking with your eating. I do believe that is THE key to long term health - i.e., strengthening the mind-body connection. We will all have times when we don't eat as healthy as we would like...but that is part of life. What is crucial is that you recognize it, and get right back on track. I think your plan to drink water early in the day is something you should make a commitment to yourself to do. I know it is what makes the difference for me. Comment edited on: 3/3/2010 8:47:56 AM Report Inappropriate Comment

ALEXTHEHUNN 3/3/2010 8:44AM

Applying the numbers to the calories vividly puts it into perspective! Thanks. Excellent message. Report Inappropriate Comment

MOOOOW 3/3/2010 8:38AM

WOW! Again you have hit it on the nail and jolted my cognitive thinking. Thanks.I Yesterday I stuck to my meal plan carefully until...last night I was faced with eating an unplanned piece of birthday cake during a board meeting. Those are things that are difficult to anticipate. I have a perfect excuse for saying no as I am a diabetic..but no I dove right in. What you say about water is correct and something I need to start doing again. I use to make myself drink a glass of water every hour throughout the day. Report Inappropriate Comment

CELEST 3/3/2010 7:27AM

Yup a lesson alright and the lesson is this.....we have ALL the KNOWLEDGE here as well as the COMPANY, if we don't learn how to eat protein with every meal and good foods with every meal and fruit in between, we will be here 10 yrs from now crying. The sooner we kick in and get it done, the sooner we can be enjoying life without the difficulties that come with being overweight. You on the other at 75kg look fabulous so its harder for you to be as diligent as you need to be to get those last few kgs off. But still......those kgs aren't going to move themselves. Report Inappropriate Comment

KENP22 3/3/2010 7:26AM

you are so right. little calories DO add up over a year's time. Report Inappropriate Comment

PASTORJEFF2 3/3/2010 6:51AM

Spread your water throughout the day and it will help control your hunger. Also add more fiber and protien to your meals, You can do it!! Report Inappropriate Comment

Do you drink your way out of shape?

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

In today's SP Trivia game (one of my little indulgences - I NEVER cheat because I'm interested in learning what I know and what I don't know ) one of the questions concerned how many calories we drink.

"In the 1970s, Americans got 6-8% of their daily calories from drinks, but today, 21% of their daily calories from beverages. Not counting what’s in that glass, cup, can or mug may be a major cause of the alarming increase in obesity. "

Now - I was an adult in the 1970's so I'm thinking back to the sorts of things I ate and drank back then - when I thought 140 was entirely too heavy. Boy. I wish!

That was when I began my love affair with diet sodas - Diet Pepsi to be precise. Of course, they have no calories but they have Other Things in them that aren't good for me and in October, when I joined SP, I went cold turkey on them. If your 401K plan was heavily invested in PepsiCo I am sorry to have caused your portfolio to loose so much value - but I really did need to stop that particular madness. Since then I have had 2 sodas and both were delicious but the addiction seems to have been swept away.

Other than my own green smoothies - which I do count, I don't indulge much in caloric beverages so I guess this information isn't all that pertinent to me, but isn't it a fascinating statistic?

My green smoothie recipe, btw, is:

8 oz V8Fusion lite (Strawberry & Banana flavor)
1 cup frozen greens - i. e. spinach, collards, mixed greens
1 Tbs slivered almonds
1 Tbs flax seed meal
1/2 cup water

Mix in blender till smooth - 176 calories

When I want something a little richer I'll add a banana. When I want something less sweet I use regular low sodium V8

Happy Tuesday to you!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAVE_FREE 3/2/2010 6:54PM

Thanks for the smoothie recipe! It sounds delicious. I avoid caloric beverages for the most part. I count them if I drink them. I am still a soda addict (caffeine-free diet coke - so it's basically chemicals and water), but I'm working on one small change at a time. The time for no sodas will come and now I'll know to run to you for advice! Report Inappropriate Comment

MSLZZY 3/2/2010 7:49AM

I haven't made a smoothie yet but it is worth a try. Thanks for sharing! Report Inappropriate Comment

JLITT62 3/2/2010 7:46AM

No, about all I drink are water & herbal teas. Smoothies -- but not in the winter, and of course they're counted. Sometimes home made hot cocoa in the winter (also counted). I gave up soda a really long time ago. Wish I could convince DH to do the same. Even appealing to his frugal nature hasn't worked. Report Inappropriate Comment

HARPER369 3/2/2010 7:08AM

recipe sounds good I will have to try it Report Inappropriate Comment

What’s your Latte Factor?

Monday, March 01, 2010

If you are a fan of David Bach, the financial guru who coined the phrase Latte Factor, you may have already seen how he is to your finances what Spark People is to your nutrition and overall fitness. He’s all about making small changes, eliminating stupid stress, getting good habits on auto-pilot. If you are new to him, you might want to check out his website Finish Rich dot com.
finishrich.com
His most intriguing concept is what he calls the Latte Factor – all the little things we fritter away that could be used to start up a rainy day fund or a retirement fund. (or a new bathroom?)

So. What is your nutritional latte factor? Is it chips? Cheetos? (my bete noire)
Is it dessert? What about your fitness latte factor? What frittery things do you do that suck up the time you could be exercising? Is it television? Computer games?

March is such a good month for spring cleaning; your life as well as your house. I’m spending the rest of this week doing a financial latte factor check-list but I am also looking at my other areas of frittery-ness. Maybe it’s the brisk wind blowing away the cobwebs of winter, maybe it’s the brighter days with more minutes of sunshine in them, but I seem to see an awful lot of dust in the corners of my life and I’m feeling the urge to find me some cleaning utensils.

May you identify your latte factors and swap them out for a richer investment in yourself. Happy Monday to you all.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAVE_FREE 3/2/2010 6:56PM

I love the idea of spring cleaning to take care of the latte factor. I think mine is definitely soda at check-out lanes ($1.50/pop). Oh what I could do with that money. As for time, the computer sucks my time, but I gave up Facebook for Lent for that reason. I also quit running my work-out schedule around the tv and instead record my shows and watch them AFTER work-out! Report Inappropriate Comment

LUNADRAGON 3/2/2010 1:35AM

Great idea. Time. That would be my latte factor. Report Inappropriate Comment

SANDYJAS 3/2/2010 1:21AM

Lattes, mmmmm Comment edited on: 3/2/2010 1:23:27 AM Report Inappropriate Comment

MSLZZY 3/1/2010 9:35PM

Time to address my latte factors-thank you! Report Inappropriate Comment

MAURAK 3/1/2010 7:56PM

Great food for thought - the only kind we don't have to track here. I remember once my mom told me that I paid the chef's salary at the supermarket because I bought convenience things like washed and bagged lettuce. Our habits have changed so much that the other day in the supermarket I asked my daughter what something cost and she knew I was referring to it's nutritional value. We had a good laugh about that. Thanks for the link! Report Inappropriate Comment

JLITT62 3/1/2010 3:54PM

Oh, my latte factor is absolutely BLTs. And I'm working on it! I feel much more in control over them lately. At least I'm more aware of them. Like the one pita chip & smidgeon of garlic dip I had at the store today -- I wrote it down. And I always know I'm bored when I start clicking my "get mail" every few minutes. And sometimes sparking is a good way to fritter away my exericse time . . . like RIGHT NOW. So I guess I better throw the clothes in the dryer, change, and get my run over with. Report Inappropriate Comment

SHEILA1505 3/1/2010 1:50PM

Your background of blooming daffodils is wonderful and particularly appropriate for today - St. David's Day - Patron Saint of Wales. My latte factor was giving up smoking and not having to put in the hours of working for clients to earn the money to pay for them. And then the medical savings and the cleaning bills - the house and clothes and interior of the car - and having to replace linens &clothes that had burn holes from ash or match heads - all this increases my FunFund which is for travelling and dance classes. Report Inappropriate Comment

HARPER369 3/1/2010 12:49PM

great post, thanks for the info Report Inappropriate Comment

MOOOOW 3/1/2010 12:31PM

Again, another great blog! My latte factor is any carb that sets my insulin off and makes me crave...a diabetic problem. I am always trying to find that one thing (taste) that will take the urge away. I do not keep sweets or sugar around. Report Inappropriate Comment

HANSEEN 3/1/2010 12:07PM

My latte factor is food high in fat as well and the TV. Although when the weather is nicer I will swap the TV for the garden or a walk. Report Inappropriate Comment

TESHIE4ME 3/1/2010 11:51AM

My latte factor is snacking on fatty foods, especially CHEESY fatty foods. I found laughing cow light and put it on a whole grain cracker this is progress but I can't seem to stop at one serving. That is what I must work on next. Oh and my other latte factor = margaritas. I cannot completely eliminate them but I have cut back quite a bit. Now I just appreciate them even more! Report Inappropriate Comment

February Report - and what I learned from it

Sunday, February 28, 2010

First the good news. The numbers on official Weigh In and Measure day were not so bad. Weight 166 - which is down a mere half a pound for the month. Of course that's putting a good spin on it - it means weight was up 1.5 over last Sunday.
Bust - same
Waist - 33 down an inch
Hips - 38.5 down half an inch

Also - in February I began to learn yoga - for my faithful friends you already know this. I practiced yoga 27 out of 28 days which is a very good fitness streak. With yoga I feel like I've made a new Best Friend - A BFF ... Best Fitness Friend.

My Monthly Mile Posts were to:

Show Measurable Progress in at least one of the following areas

__X__ inches lost
__X__ weight lost
__X__ strength
__X__fitness

Try a new recipe or food


Do one fun thing that celebrates my Health and Weight Loss Journey - this month - to create a visual

Devise on the first of the month and accept on the last day of the month a reward for meeting my monthly goals. February's reward is a candle lit bubble bath with champagne tonight.

At least I will accept it when I have tried this new recipe: recipes.sparkpeople.com/recipe-detai
l.asp?recipe=377230

Roast pork was requested by Himself for dinner today - whew. Made this just in the nick of time. I had intended to make slow cooker yogurt and I may still do - but just in case, I'm glad there was a recipe for dinner that fits both the goal and the husband's desire.

And I will create some kind of visual today and even if it isn't my best shot it will suffice. And I think if I get over the hump I'll be able to continue with the concept till there is something I really like.

I'll come back later today and put in those emoticon's beside those two other goals when I can honestly claim them.

So. What did I learn from all this - and especially why didn't I lose more weight ... why did I derail my efforts that last week?

Here's what I think:

1. I didn't keep my goals in the forefront of my mind that last week. The first 3 weeks I spent just oh - 5 minutes a day imagining myself achieving each of my long term goals. Buttoning that dress, The doctor beaming at me and saying "I think we can lower the dosage on this", me at family reunions and other food laden events just calmly selecting exactly the right things to make me feel healthy and strong and part of the group. But that last week I stopped doing it. Oh - I would mentally list the goals but I didn't take those few minutes - and I promise you - it doesn't take more than 5 minutes a day to really SEE myself the way I want to be.

but with out that visual image really part of my daily life i really do tend to push the long term goals further into the future - to a Someday Off in the Distance.

Like brushing my teeth - I really can't afford to not imagine myself reaching each goal I want to reach. If I stop wanting to imagine it ... i have probably stopped wanting to have it.


2. I stopped being serious about what I put in my mouth each day. I exceeded the calorie limit almost every day this past week. Oh - I never went over the limit by THAT much - but you see - 100 calories here, 200 calories there and the next thing you know you've gone over by a LOT. I am sure this is how I put on all this excess weight in the first place. I'm not much of a binger, I'm a nudger. One day over the limit is never going to matter but one plus one plus one plus one plus one ... plus 365 in a row and those pounds will pile on. I think I need to lay down a strict limit of only one nudged day a week.

Plus I ate a lot of salty food this week. I love olives and I enjoy adding some to my diet fairly regularly but those olive bar olives are so salty they can make your mouth pucker. I like a little salt. I am not a salt-0-holic. I think if I'm going to have olives in the future I really need to have the ones with the least salt in them.

Also - there are a few things that I don't track on the nutrition tracker. They're little 20 calorie items but I don't know if they didn't all sneak up on me as 100 and 200 calorie Bites Licks and Tastes by the end of the week. The tablespoon of fat free half and half in my coffee - okay it's 20 calories but was it really only a tablespoon? Did I drink 3 cups of coffee? I can't honestly tell you but I think in March I shall get serious about those BLT's and be sure they're on the tracker so I can't forget about them.

3. and this is really a minor thing but it's something I learned nonetheless. I participated in the Spark team's 28 crash course through the book - and the spark people plan. Each week you go through one of the 4 segments of the total spark plan which was entirely too fast for me. I joined SP in October. I didn't really start working the plan for a month. I wasn't ready to move to stage 2 for at least another month and by golly I wasn't ready to move to stage 3 till this month. Not that I had to "obey" the 28 day crash course but I realize that I don't do well with other people's time table. A monthly challenge that has me exercise every day or drink water every day or some other small thing or even big thing - can be good but following an arbitrary schedule is not for me. I won't do that again.

So. I am much smarter today than I was a month ago. I'm a little smaller and even a wee tiny bit lighter. This is good. I'm armed and educated to move into March. I intend to look for the same monthly mileposts and follow the same daily routine I did for February but I will incorporate the knowledge I now have and be more assiduous about keeping those goals in the front of my mind and those calorie limits in place.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRACIWRIGHT79 3/1/2010 6:34AM

Thanks for sharing! I especially appreciate your comments on the book, I am reading it right now, and I don't think there is anyway I can move through that fast. Glad to know I am in good company! Congrats on meeting so many of your goals! Report Inappropriate Comment

OPAL50 2/28/2010 6:32PM

Your voicing what you learned helps me and others to learn through your observations. Report Inappropriate Comment

MOOOOW 2/28/2010 4:18PM

Fantastic self-evaluation!!! You will get there if you continue this! Great! Great! Great! Pris Report Inappropriate Comment

SHEILA1505 2/28/2010 10:46AM

Strength with love Report Inappropriate Comment

CRAVE_FREE 2/28/2010 9:45AM

Wow! Looks like you've learned a lot and have some great focus points for March! I hope your bubblebath is a great reward and fuels you up to earn your March reward. Report Inappropriate Comment