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Yielding to the inevitable

Thursday, February 11, 2010

First off - thanks for all the kind thoughts and support on yesterday's blog. I was of two minds about grousing here. The truth is - Tuesday wasn't a bad day - I know - I've had Bad Days. I was just crabby and irritable and seemed to be borrowing trouble - focusing on what bad thing Might Happen - and before I realized it, I was eating junk food - and believe me - that WAS a bad thing - though, of course, a minor bad thing.

Like stupid stress - bogus bad things are a major waste of a good life. And I suspect we all fall victim to being victims of bogus bad things now and then - so that's why I decided to write about it.

In fact - that borrowing of trouble seems to be linked to overeating. Obsessing about what Might Happen just sets me up for making dumb choices. It's as if I say "If All Heck is about to Break Loose - I better eat a cookie because there might not be any more cookies ... or at least any more good things after that." stupid, huh. I have to keep remembering that There Will Be Cookies - just not right now.

I especially have to keep remembering that since I've decided to yield to the inevitable, use up precious vacation time the rest of this week and stay home - which means stay within a few steps from the kitchen all day long - till the lane to my house dries up and the ice cradles around the cars have melted. We have several days of sunshine up ahead, March is less than 3 weeks away. This winter has to end sometime.

I'd far rather use my annual leave on beautiful spring days but if that isn't possible at least I HAVE vacation time I can burn this way. I canceled my pedicure and manicure (see? I'd already planned to take this day off as a reward) and will reschedule that for some lovely day when the temperatures are going to be in the 60's or better and meet up with my sister in TheCity for a girl day.

It is easier to succumb to mother nature than to fight it. I'm gonna stay home and watch these critters from my knitting nook.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAYHIKER 2/11/2010 5:18PM

    It sounds like a very enjoyable day to me! I love watching the birds and boy, do we have them with this weather! We at least did not have fresh snow today and we also had sunshine!!! emoticon

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HARPERLADY 2/11/2010 8:19AM

    sounds like you have a plan, I love bird watching,I can totally relate giving in to giving in all it takes is one thing to get the ball rolling and before you know it you have an entire snowman of consumption , I am doing this like I did when I quite smoking knowing that all it takes is one ( at least I try 2)

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Was it worth it? thoughts (A rant, really) about emotional eating

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I was cranky all day yesterday. the list of reasons for being cranky goes on and on but really, these are just the usual February complaints coupled with a simply wretched economy that may or may not kibosh my work and, consequentially, my personal economics. Most of the time I can stride ahead through the morass of Reasons for Being Cranky and leave them all behind me, gasping on the side of the road - but yesterday it all began to get to me. I was snappish with an employee - crabby with my DH who managed to do all the things I really hate for him to do, all in one day - and on my second unwelcome trip to the grocery store, in the falling sleet and fading daylight I stood in another long line at the checkout counter and stared at those dreadful little bags of cheetos.

Cheetos. Cheese. Sigh.

Cheese is my chocolate. I would rather have a bite of French Corbier or English Stilton than the finest Belgian chocolates - although there is the most marvelous little shop in Culpepper VA that will sell you both - the French Corbier AND the perfect dark chocolate (no fruity taste, my dear) to go with it - as well as the absolute matching bottle of wine.

The Frenchman's corner - if you are EVER in that upper central part of VA you have to stop there - the staff really knows what they're selling and it's the only place where one bite of cheese or chocolate lasts on your tongue for 15 minutes.

oh dear - I am SUCH an ENFP! distracted by the slightest wisp of a thought. But at least thinking about that little shop has lifted my spirits to the point where I can laugh at myself.

anyway - to get back to the POINT of this post - I was standing in the check-out line and I was fretting and grousing inside because Other People were Making Me Do Things I Didn't Want To Do and it was ALL THEIR FAULT when that familiar orange bag winked at me. It shrugged it's little cellophane shoulder. It made a little kissy face and asked "Who loves ya, baby?"

And I reached over and plucked it up in my grubby little hand - I tossed it on the conveyor belt - pulled out some dollars - made my meager purchases (all the frackum way out here just to buy Someone some stupid green tea that I don't even like!!!!) and hurried out to my (defective car that I had to add anti-freeze to Right There in the Parking Lot of Walmart!!!! Me! A Girl! Touching the grimy inside of a car hood!!!!)

Mechanic duty completed I sat behind the wheel and ripped open my little bag of ecstasy and selected a salty cheesy gritty crunchy greasy little morsel.

And right away, that fickle bite turned on me. Oh - mind you - it was salty enough for me to eat the whole bag. I'm not a major salt consumer - but I can succumb to the addictive qualities of salt - especially if they have (even only) Artificial Cheese flavor in the mix. So. I can't claim any Road to Damascus conversion from a profligate life of junk consumption to a transformed life of pure clean living.

But honestly - those cheetos really weren't that good. And of course they did nothing to elevate my mood so when I finally got down my half a mile of flooded, rutted, frozen driveway with my soggy self and all those groceries to put way, I was still not prepared to greet, with any sort of equanimity, the utter chaos Somebody had created in the kitchen while looking for Green Tea that I Don't Even Like!

It took more than an hour to get the grouch off my face. Somebody quickly stuffed all the contents of an entire kitchen cabinet back any which way so that at least I didn't have to keep looking at it. Dinner was a fairly easy bean soup that always pleases and NEVER turns on me inside my mouth with a lackluster taste and a pile of empty calories. But the caloric damage had been done. already dabbling slightly over the top limit, those cheetos pushed me 200 calories over and with grim honesty I logged every one of 'em in the nutrition tracker.

Because. Because I wanted to tell the truth to myself. Because I have to know what sorts of things can go wrong. Because one 200 calorie day is not going to even cause a ripple in my progress - but by golly a whole string of them will. And while I can't do anything about the weather - or even the ancient car that I have to drive in this wretched weather (because I'm not taking my golden chariot out in This Weather) - or truly - even the Someone who I know was sick yesterday and in a lot of pain.

I can only do something about how I react to these things. And I believe, the next time it all piles up on me - no matter what else I do in response - it is NOT going to be flirting unfaithfully with that durn bag of Cheetos. by golly - If I'm going to eat cheese it's going to be a rich buttery cheddar or maybe some of that artisianal Swiss cheese I picked up at the health food store.

For me - From now on - If I am going to have a food affair - it is going to be with something that's really worth it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TAMMYYARBROUGH 2/10/2010 12:47PM

    emoticonHere's to being honest!!

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HARPERLADY 2/10/2010 10:36AM


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GRANDMAAMIE 2/10/2010 9:40AM


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JKTENTATIVE 2/10/2010 8:45AM

    What a great writer you are! It's terrific that you forced yourself to face up to your actions...a milestone in getting/keeping things under control.
My fear is that it creeps up on me...I don't go for chocolate or cheese or cheetoes. I go for a 2nd, 3rd or 4th helping of "diet food." The whole package of fat free chocolate pudding, several bags of low fat popcorn, or a whole box of diet chocolate pops. I recognize that it is all about tricking myself into believing it is okay. Sounds like you are on the right track - focused on being honest with yourself. I am getting there too...


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MYFEETHURT 2/10/2010 8:37AM

  Ugh...I know too well the perils of a quick "fix." It's never ever worth it. It's never ever what you think it's going to be. I agree with MSLZZY...make it something really worth that "bite" of marvelous cheese that lingers on your tongue for 15 minutes. Hang tough...and put that green tea...I don't care for it either...right out in the open where he can find it.

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DAYHIKER 2/10/2010 8:25AM

    Harrumph! And Cheetos promised to be faithful to ME! I should have known he'd be unfaithful since he is just so cheesy! (I feel your pain!) I would like for Captain Kirk and crew to go back in time to when Cheetos were soooo good. Oh, wait, maybe I don't!! They really aren't that good anymore, are they? emoticon

Loved the blog post and as MSLZZY pointed out, you turned the negative into a positive. I think that you, Judy, and I could do a lot of damage at The Frenchman's Corner. So...when do we meet??? emoticon

Snow Crazed Cindy

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PUDLECRAZY 2/10/2010 7:51AM

    Wishing you a wonderful and successful today! emoticon

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JLITT62 2/10/2010 7:47AM

    Here's to a much, much better day today. You guys are definitely having the worst winter in a long, long time, so venting is absolutely required -- just not with cheetos!

Unfortunately for me, I love both cheese and chocolate. Chocolate definitely wins, and by more than a hair, but it's still a tight race.

The few times I succumb to emotional eating it's usually with the good stuff. But my dark chocolate/peanut butter bar still lies unscathed in my pantry, right by those PB M&Ms. No, for me, it's all those BLTs. There's too many of them. In fact, a little bit of fudgy vegan brownie just fell into my mouth somehow this morning while I was tucking one in for DH -- and no, I didn't record it. Hey, I'm a work in progress.

Sending you "keep the job" vibes. And you are so right, one bag won't derail you.

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MSLZZY 2/10/2010 7:23AM

    You turned a negative into a positive! I agree! If you want to have a love affair with food, make it something really good!

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Keep your mind focused on how you're living your daily life.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Well that was my tuesday horoscope. An apt prediction too since I am likely to be home again for another day or so. Although my lane was frozen hard and the tar roads around here were all cleared, my car was also frozen hard in a cradle of ice - so I couldn't get out to work yesterday.

Now - I am not one to go stir crazy in my own house. I can stay here for weeks and never get antsy. I emoticon this place so much I'm counting the days till retirement .. and THAT is years away.

But - 84 hours straight only inches away from the kitchen can lead to some bad slips. So far so good - and I will get to work this morning for a few hours - but this time we're expecting ice - and so when something starts to fall today ... I am coming home. I almost left it too late on Friday. Won't do that again.

More than ever before I'm having to focus focus focus. Am I hungry? would a glass of water satisfy me? Can I wait 15 minutes? But the most useful tool I've used this weekend has been to eat off of the smallest dishes in my house. Last night we had left over pot roast and I used a desert dish to serve myself and cut it into as many pieces as I could. The good news? 3 oz was enough to fill me up!

so, break out those dainty dishes and see how long you can stretch those small portions out. You just might find you're pleasantly full and well within your calorie range! Even if it IS pot roast. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DMBEECHAM 2/9/2010 12:40PM

    I've been using smaller plates for most of my meals; it definitely helps with portion control and visually retraining my brain to recognize a realistic amount of food.

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HARPERLADY 2/9/2010 10:59AM

    we are getting a few inches of snow here. I have beenhaving those conversations as ell , am I really hungry? do I just like the taste? why am I in the frigde? etc, best of luck to ya and I was thinking of making all of mt dishes small ones emoticon

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DAYHIKER 2/9/2010 9:22AM

    I like the smaller dishes, too! They make me feel like I am getting a lot! We're snowbound yet again and I'll be going out soon to start working on keeping the paths we have cleared open. I am so thankful that I am content at home but this winter has definitely been more of a challenge with so much snow starting so early! I hope I can GET to Chicago the 21st!!

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JLITT62 2/9/2010 7:54AM

    I use the smallest dishes I can get away with all the time. Haven't quite convinced DH yet, when he cooks for me, he still grabs large plates. He'll learn someday! Maybe!

Stay safe.

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MSLZZY 2/9/2010 7:06AM

    I could see my DH with a dessert plate LOL! But it is an excellent way to make sure to only take what I need. Eat slowly, chew my food and enjoy each bite and put my fork down between bits. Besides, pot roast is so good. Who wouldn't want to make it last?

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DOOBIE893 2/9/2010 6:46AM

    Thanks for the tip.....desert dishes....even smaller than the luncheon plates I've been using. Make this a great day.

Comment edited on: 2/9/2010 6:47:06 AM

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Permission to Not Eat

Monday, February 08, 2010

I never think of myself as a Type A person - I am sure I am a Type B+ emoticon but the truth is - Type A is easy to slip into if you strive for excellence. I stop short of perfectionism but I do sometimes get driven and my experiences with the Nutrition Tracker are a perfect example.

First you must know I really really love that tracker and use it all the time, including running the report to see what nutrients I'm short on. I tend to skimp on calcium because while I like dairy products - I am not a big milk drinker. Also I have a lot of trouble with potassium and folate ... as I have whined often enough here. So it's good to be able to see where I am short and see if I can find something to lift my nutrient consumption.

And then that incipient Type A behavior sneaks in and says "Have a banana. Eat broccoli. It's dinner time - fill up on these nutritious foods. They are GOOD FOR YOU"


What if I am just not hungry?

Really not hungry. Feel fine. Feel full. Feel like I've had all I want to eat today. So what if it's 6:30 or 7:00.

I trust the system. I trust my self. I am eating good healthy foods all day and if my stomach says Basta! then I am not going to eat just to fill up a chart of nutrients. And so last night I officially gave myself permission to Not Eat if I'm Not Hungry.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MSLZZY 2/8/2010 9:45PM

    Excellent plan. As long as you are full and satisfied and have eaten enough of the other good things, I'd say you're doing just fine!

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TRENTDREAMER 2/8/2010 7:31PM

    I totally hear you on this. I've been upping my calcium and Vitamin E. Folate and Potassium are next. Yeah, one day below the desired level isn't going to end the world, but I still face the temptation to strive for the 100%.

Awesome blog!

Comment edited on: 2/8/2010 7:31:21 PM

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HARPERLADY 2/8/2010 11:05AM

    way to go! I think like that also, if I am not hungry I am not gonna eat just for the sake of one thing or another, thats what got me here in the first place, still a struggle tho, I get bored a lot emoticon

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ELLENB10 2/8/2010 8:45AM

    If you are eating a healthy, balanced diet all day long,I would agree that you wouldn't need to eat if you're not hungry.
The Nutrition Tracker is awesome. It has been an eye-opener for me. Sometimes I have to stop obsessing about numbers, too, and listen to my body when it says "enough"!

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DAYHIKER 2/8/2010 8:40AM

    I have wondered about that at times, too, Bess. But I also decided I'm not going to eat if I'm not hungry and have covered my minimum calories for the day. That's why we take a vitamin/mineral to cover those shortfalls.

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JLITT62 2/8/2010 7:46AM

    Definitely no reason not to eat if you're not hungry! I wish I had that problem. Since cutting back more it seems I'm always just a little bit hungry. I figure eventually my body will adjust.

My leader had some very wise words on the subject. Essentially, if it only happens now & again, don't worry about it. But if you're consistently falling short on food, you've got to take a closer look at what you're eating.

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is what you see even something you want? Getting visual

Sunday, February 07, 2010

I think someone could cash in big time if she decided to start marketing to us aging boomers. I know the most spoiled generation ever has had it their way a long time, but we're still here and we're still the wealthiest demographic out there.

I have been trying to create a vision board or a dream board or even a scrapbook page displaying some sort of image of what things will look like when I've met my goals - and I can't find anything to put on it! I have spent an embarrassing amount of money and time, with magazines and on the internet looking for pictures and I am flummoxed and stymied! All the images are aimed at people significantly younger than I or at people with tastes so drastically different from mine I am beginning to feel a bit alien.

I don't want to look like the bodies on Shape, Fitness, Self and BoffoBod magazines. They all look like the same hip-less body of a 20 year old girl with a different heads airbrushed on top. At my age I can't imagine glitter eyesahdow drawing attention to my crows feet. I will never have Pantene Hair again. And there is no way on this green earth that I will ever wear 10 inch heel cut out leather platform boots with my chiffon mini skirt and see-through spaghetti strap tank top.

Okay I hope you are all laughing along with me because this is definitely not a rant - it's just a silliness. but I am serious about wishing there were some folk out there tempting the 50+ set with goodies now and then. Take for example - getting a new hairstyle. There are lots of magazines out there with so called hair styles in them BUT for a girl who grew up putting her hair in curlers every night - it's difficult to see myself with the blender-headed spiked dos in the magazines, even if they are cute on taut necked sleek jawed 20 year-olds. Where is the hair style magazine that helps us visualize disguising turkey neck or incipient jowls.

It's the same with fixing up my house - I have poured through every Elegant Bath magazine on the stands at Barnes and Nobel and I can't find a bathroom I would put in my house ... or even find at Lowes or Home Depot - in any of 'em! Where do they dream up this stuff and who in the world actually buys it? A pedestal sink that looks like a sea shell? Can I possibly dunk my head in that to prep my hair for the Nice 'n' Easy I have to use every few months?

I am also a little disappointed in the color palettes used in the scrapbook world. Everything has that same greyed look of fake sepia tones. I love the IDEA of a scrapbook type vision collage - but I have yet to find the look, and especially the colors, I want to stare at over the long period.

Ahh well. I havent given up on creating my vision board. It may end up filled with cartoons I draw myself but I will have something to gaze at and dream about one of these days - something to inspire me to persevere. It will come.

But I will close with this clarion cry:

Remember marketers!! I have disposable income and I'm finished with college tuition payments! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUESMITH73 2/7/2010 6:14PM

    I did find a great picture of an older woman crossing the finish line in a race. That worked great on my vision collage since one of my goals is to run a 5K.

Other than that, I used pictures of things I like to do & want to continue doing in the future. A picture of my grandchildren because I want to see them grow up.
I added great quotes & bible verses. A picture of me at my start weight & of my husband doing something that we like to do together. My vision collage is on my SparkPage if you would like to see it.

Not everything has to come from magazines.

But you are right that venders do not cater to baby boomers. Even though we have the money to spend.

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CLAIRESML 2/7/2010 2:14PM

    great blog! I completely agree. have a nice sunday

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DAYHIKER 2/7/2010 9:23AM

    I so hear you, Bess!! That is why I had not put mine together. Then I thought how it made me feel to see some of my travel pictures so I put together my collage with a few of them instead as a remembrance of WHY I want to stay fit and healthy! I hope to go mountain hiking again and I love walking all over Chicago when I go to my son's. emoticon

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PUDLECRAZY 2/7/2010 8:28AM

    Funny, I was just thinking similar thoughts. I am planning to post photos of beautiful women on my blog today.

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MAMADELIGHT 2/7/2010 8:24AM

    You are so right. I thought after reading your blog to google celebrities at 50 who look good. I got Madonna. That is it. I may have to put a picture of Dara Torres (40 something Olympic swimmer)on that vision collage.

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