Wednesday, October 23, 2013
So I used to be someone that didn't believe so much in prayer. Then I found a spiritual home, not a church, but a spiritual home.
I had the honor and privilege of working at a shelter on the Crow Creek reservation for two years. I'm back home again now, at a shelter where I'm the director, but I digress. The women I worked with and for helped me learn so much about myself. They helped me learn about prayer and the power of it.
I pray to the Creator. I believe in leading the best life I can and doing good to all people and creatures.
Last night when I smudged (burning sage and praying) a lot of pain was lifted from me. My heart hurts sometimes from the weight of my work. That hurt leads to anxiety. That anxiety leads to eating. Food is the most abused anxiety drug after all. When that pain is gone I don't eat.
Of course the 35 minutes on the elliptical didn't hurt either, man those endorphins rock.
Point being, even if you don't believe in God, whoever or whatever you believe in, let them lift some of that pain from you. Most of us that have food issues have pain in some form from a trauma or traumas that we have experienced.
Have some faith in yourself too. When you have a bad, anxiety ridden day, know that tomorrow will be better and you can get through today.
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
So I broke up with my boyfriend for the third time in six years. I'm done this time. Absolutely done. There is nothing left to be said there.
He isn't a bad guy, he just isn't right for me. I get lazy. I don't take care of myself or my house. I gain weight. I have no motivation.
I'm back to cooking at home, not eating meat, not eating sugar, drinking only water and the occasional glass of milk. It's amazing how good I am at this stuff when I'm alone. Having a boyfriend can be overrated I guess!
A month alone and I've lost 7 pounds, what does that say? I'm only 9 pounds from the first goal of 30 pounds lost that I set for myself back in May. That was a short term goal. There is definitely a much larger long term goal, but there is no point in thinking that is the way to reach my goal. I have to actually have goals that are achievable in the short term, this one is!
Tuesday, March 06, 2012
So sugar cravings suck. I am having them right now because I just ate supper and now I think I need dessert. I struggle at work too because there is all kinds of junk food around and it is just hard to avoid all of it. If there is a box of donuts I can't leave it alone. I really have a hard time when I am there alone and bored. Being home alone and bored is hard too.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
So I know that I need to work on my weight, heavens knows, I know. So why don't I? I know full well that I am a compulsive over eater, but I also know that I can control my eating, I just choose not to do so.
Controlling those urges to binge aren't always so easy, but I know how to do it. I think I just get lazy, plain old lazy. It is easier to just eat whatever I want than to take the time to shop and eat only the good stuff.
I am on day 2 of abstaining from sugar. Everyone says "treat yourself once in awhile or you will binge later". Nope, not me, if I "treat myself" that leads to a binge. I start eating and I can't stop. It is a like being an alcoholic I think.
I work on refocusing myself and not thinking about food, sometimes that makes it worse, but a lot of times it really helps. Finding other stuff to do helps a bunch too.
I can do this I know I can!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
We finished our bathroom project yesterday. All the money, hassle and work was SO worth it. I love the bathroom and it is so nice to have a comfy, warm, calming place to shower and wind down or to get going for the day.
The only drawback was because we were busy all day we were also not in the mood to eat very well so I kind of blew the end of the day with McDonalds, but I guess it could have been worse. Not my most stellar food choices but once in awhile won't kill me or anyone else. Back to the gym today, not like I skipped it yesterday, and back to work tonight.
Work is a good way for me to get plenty of exercise and moving around, as long as I make myself walk laps.
All is good.
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