BELLE!   55,083
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BELLE!'s Recent Blog Entries

January 13th 2013

Thursday, January 17, 2013

I started over here at spark.My doctors all of them and that is alot of doctors.lol Have been after me to take off the weight as I had reached my highest weight ever.And since I am losing inches in height it is not a good combo.I top the scale at 232 and I am only 5'1.So i could be rolled like the blueberry girl in the willy wonka movie it is time to take it off.As I dont want another heart attack or stroke and I sure dont wont to spend any more time in a wheel chair.So I stopped feeling sorry for my self cause I cant walk or run like I use to.But I can still move so it is time to watch what I eat and to move what I can as just cause I can work out like I did before with spark and loss the weight.I can eat right and make a difference in the life i have.I am proud to say as of today I have stayed well in my cal range and I have done real well with having low range carbs.Which is a biggy for me.I so more walking around just for the sake of walking around.I do plan to start a real walking regiment here soon.but I wanted to concur one thing at a time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEACHLOVR 2/4/2013 11:56PM

    Glad you are back. You can do it! I need to do it too. Worst shape in my life. Would love to join a challenge with you or be buddies.

Hugs,
Ann

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MDMNINA 1/17/2013 6:00PM

    How nice to hear from you! The Secret team is still out there and more or less active. I have a new co-leader named Harper who is the greatest. Pop on over for a visit.

I haven't lost much weight myself, but I am much healthier. I am getting ready to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon at the end of February.

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BUGSMIMI 1/17/2013 4:50PM

  Glad you see you back! You know what you need to do, and you know you can do it. We all know you can do it. emoticon

Big hugs!!

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A Journey To Find ME

Thursday, March 24, 2011

I am not as lost as I was but I am still far from knowing where I am.I know I have been missing to alot of my friends and teams here on sp.I keep trying but before I can get my footing I am down again.I am on more of a spiritual journey as well as any journey to find what it is that gives me Peace everyone has there own thing and there own way of finding and it I am able to say alot of things make me happy but to find that true center and footing of myself I have yet to find it.I am reading a book that of course those of u know me I was drawn too called Eat,laugh,Pray yeah it what the movie based off of and yes I have seen it but as with alot the movie is awesome but does not do the book as a whole justices or touch truly on the journey she took and underwent.I have found support in my sister in law and her in me I do hope.We seem to be on a common path and share a common love other than the obvious. I just wanted all of u to know I am not gone just on a journey.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MDMNINA 3/29/2011 1:32PM

    We are all on a journey! Just pop in when you can. Know that are missed when you are not here, and welcomed when you are here. And always, always loved!

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BUGSMIMI 3/26/2011 6:38AM

  I wish you well on your journey, and you find the peace you are looking for.

Love and hugs!

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LAUREL220 3/25/2011 1:07PM

    I am here for you and glad we are friends! You are an amazing woman! Sending lots of love your way (and luck).
emoticon
Laurel

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LOST

Saturday, January 15, 2011

As I have share alot in the past year I have seen alot of lows.For medical reasons.But now I find myself lost in a low I can no really explain to anyone.I feel hopeless.Not with the medical mess.I have pretty much come to roll with the punches of my full blown life as a medical mess.But it is I have become soo. Lost and I feel so utterly ALONE! i BINGE EAT OR i DONT EAT and BOTH HURTS ME AND MY MEDICAL PROBLEMS AS WELL BUT I just can't seem to care even when it is physical pain form it.I have lost my give a shi+. I know that folks dont walk threw all I have been threw and it not effect u mentally.I know I have heard it from every doctor.But I dont really feel that my stroke is part of this.I just feel LOST so empty an overly full at the same time.I love my kids and all my family but I just at times.Cant bring myself to make the effort to go out.There is nothing in this world I love more than my grandson but there always seems to be something standing in the way of our time together.Some appt or something or another and there is like I have no time to connect.I never really knew how much he gave to me by being him until this past year when our time was cut so short with my illness.As We use to be constant daily companions and now it is like.I see him once a week if lucky.As well as my children.I was with them daily and felt so much apart of them and there lives and now I feel as if I stand alone lost in a forest and I can not see but glimpse of them when the wind blows just right.I am a very spiritual person I spend alot of time trying to be connect to the lighter side and the angels that I know help me and have saved me so many times this year.But it seems as if them to have been lost among the trees of the deep forest I am in and I wander aimlessly to get out and find the way back to me to my life to the person or at least a part of he person I once was.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAARENF 1/17/2011 1:45PM

    my thoughts are with you and as I meditate I will send good vibes your way.

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MDMNINA 1/17/2011 12:54PM

    Sweetie, I have been in your shoes and I know how it hurts! Your Sparkfriends are here for you! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Do you have the DVD of "The Secret"? Try watching that a few times. It always helps me.

And keep telling yourself, "I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, loving, harmonious, and happy!!

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BELLE! 1/16/2011 8:12PM

    I want to say thank u all so much.I have take in all your advice. And I do so love the fact I know I am not alone.I have talk with doctors non stop seems to be all I do head to the neuro doctor again tomorrow and we will talk again.I did alot better today with setting in my mind I was going to eat healthy and meals not snacks and binges.THANK U ALL FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND LOVE.

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NORASPAT 1/16/2011 10:07AM

    Life with pain and missing family is indeed very hard. Are you able to share your feelings with your family, talk on the phone, use the computer to establish more contact with them.
I hope you are able to talk to your DR. Often medications are the cause of these feelings and he may be able to change something to help the way you feel.
This weather and lack of sunlight does not help us any.
I hope you are able to look out for yourself, do try to do that, you are a very special lady. Hugs Pat in Augusta. emoticon Try a little sunshine, emoticon emoticon

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DKELLEY35 1/15/2011 9:55PM

    I hope the sun starts shining brighter in your world soon Belle, I know how hard it is to have your world turned upside down by medical problems. It seems like the changes come at you on a daily basis and you feel like you're facing them all alone.Have you talked to your family about how you're feeling? Have you talked to your Dr. about it. It sounds like you are having some depression. Try to keep your chin up and keep Sparking. We are here for you. DE

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BUGSMIMI 1/15/2011 9:42PM

  I pray you get some answers soon, Belle. You don't have to look for that person that you once were, you didn't go anywhere. You are no less a person than you were before you had your stroke. I do hope that some day, you realize that. And families take a shift now and then. Craig use to be my right hand man, and I'm lucky if I see him a couple of days a month now. I know how you feel there. Hugs!

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QUARKY 1/15/2011 8:01PM

    Would it help you to write a menu of what you plan to eat each day for a week, ahead of time, so it's all written down and you just have to follow it? That's what I've been doing for the past two weeks, and it helps me not to binge, and to make sure I eat 3 healthy meals a day. And it stops you having to make food decisions every day - you have it already decided for you.

I hope things get better for you.

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GO BE MUSHY IT DONT HURT!!!!

Thursday, September 30, 2010

As we go threw this old world.It can be a ruff hike at times.And we would give anything to be able to undo alot of things we did or didn't do.But that is just it we are alot of times meant to have that hike to be who we are to become.I know myself I would love to have a do over for alot of reason.But that is not the point here as I share my thoughts this day.I am feeling lead to say NEVER FORGET TO SAY AND DO THINGS SO THOSE YOU LOVE KNOW THEY ARE LOVED!
I know that to alot of us that is easier thought than said. We are like to think oh they know.But sometimes we dont know and they dont know.So SAY IT! It is not going to hurt no one.See we all think tomorrow Ill do this or that or say or do what have u.But we don"t always have tomorrow.I have been fortunate to be able to say to alot of those that I have lost which is way to many to share that I forgive them and love them in spite of it all,But When I look back I would have prefer that time to been spent rejoicing in there life not asking or giving forgiveness for something of the past.( DON"T EVER LET YOUR PAST DESTROY OR HURT YOUR PRESENT OR FUTURE LIFE"S TO SHORT FOR THAT)I know everyone is well at least they knew or u got to say it.. True but that was our last words..I know we all have those in our lives that are like dont talk mushy at specially men and teens. Say it anyway they can be like oh god Mushy . They still will look back and know u love them.My Daddy was a classic one of those he didn't till he was dying say those works clearly to any of us.As he didnt want to believe it was manly .lol And he thought we knew which we did but I can till this day hear it. When he said it the first time and the last time.( The first time he called me for my bday and said I love you.
When I hung up I cried like a baby as my daddy had finally after over 20 yrs finally said he loved me.) .He has been gone now well over 15 yrs and it is so hard to this day.As he missed so much. I know he would been one Awesome Great Granddaddy to my grandson.As he was so Awesome to My Oldest Son.My youngest was still to very young when he left us to remember or to have much time with him..But there was nothing in this world like him.
But to return to my point and that is no matter who it is in your life be sure u say to them in some form the words I LOVE YOU! even if it has to be threw technology these days.SAY IT! DONT"T BANK ON TOMORROW! So Go Out and Make Some one go Oh No MUSHY ! TODAY!
I Love YOu All My FAMILY,MY FRIENDS.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BUGSMIMI 9/30/2010 2:05PM

  I LOVE YOU, my friend!

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Finding Strength.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Today I was finally told I did actually inspite of the Prefect Doctor and his test.I did Have a stroke.I am not thrilled to be right by no means.But finally I know what I am dealing with.I am not going to take it laying down.My Body may have other Ideas.But to bad I am not going to give in.I will be able to walk with out a walker again and I will talk with out a slur. I will Hold my Grandson and All that are yet to come.I will do this and I will work my back side off to do it.There is no therapy I will turn down or I will not do to get back to a even better me.
Where do I find strength easy my family.My sons are amazing they will not let me be down a min.Robert is there to lift me and give me that kick in the pants I need at the same time.My Dil is there to be my support and sounding board.My sweet grandson gives me determination cause he wants and needs grammie to play and be actitive part of his life.And las but not least my Sweet Soon to be dil and sweet step daughter.my two girls that look to me to be there for them be there confidante and sometimes there mine.I will not cave I will beat this and do it with a stiff upper lip.Thanks to all of u my wonderful friends who are always there for me giving me that extra lift and love to get me threw as well that is where I find my Strength.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHERYLP461 9/1/2010 11:20PM

    You are a survivor, I know you will bounce back. you have a beautiful attitude and a great support system in your family. Love to you.
Hugs,
sheryl

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MDMNINA 8/31/2010 8:51PM

    emoticon a thousand time over!!

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BUGSMIMI 8/31/2010 8:31PM

  Oh, Wendy! I wish I were there to give you a hug. I am sorry you have to go through this, you have been through the ringer enough already. But, that being said, you have the right attitude. It is one that both you and Hale hold. I wish you and Robert the best. Love you, my friend.

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CHRISJAKE 8/31/2010 7:20PM

    HUGS to you Belle!!! Glad you have sooo many loved ones around to help you. Everyone who knows you knows you will beat this.

HUGS and PRAYERS!!!!

Chantelle

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